You've just moved into a new house in a new neighborhood, and as you unload some boxes, a sexy, purple-haired girl calls you over and asks for help. You'd seen her a few times as you've come and gone, but you'd never asked her out. Now, she's asking if you'd help her with some groceries. You say yes, of course, but something tells you she wants more than just a little assistance . . . .

The first installment of "The Steam Collection". Second-person present-tense perspective set in the EG universe, based on a random scenario I saw and replied to on Facebook. Rated 'Teen' for some steamy moments—as close to sex as you can get and still keep it clean.

We all know how this goes, don't we? Some unlucky schmuck goes to a Halloween party or convention dressed up as someone evil, gets sent to Equestria, and then ends up antagonizing the locals.

Well my story goes a bit differently. My name is Isaac Donohue, and after a night of drunken partying that I STILL can't remember, I wake up in Equestria fifteen hundred years before the events of canon with five seemingly random superpowers:

Angelic Physiology, so I'm frickin gorgeous now. Oxygen Independence, so I don't need to breath. Asexual Reproduction, just call me Mister Mommy why don't you...Bubble Breath, something useless that I rarely use. Power Replication, otherwise known as a game breaker.

So anyways I befriended everyone's favorite draconequus Discord, and we made such beautiful chaos together. Well, it was more of me trying to reform him before he got stoned by the Princesses in an effort to change history for the better. What a waste of time that was, and as a result of this I got petrified as well for being his accomplice. Can you believe that?

Since I'm free, I've decided to settle down and rule a kingdom of my own. I'm sure there are enough tyrants in the world that need to be overthrown despite Sunbutt's best efforts. But if there aren't any, I'm pretty sure I can steal the Crystal Empire from Sombra before Shining Armor and Cadence do.

The only problem is, THE LAW WON'T STOP CHASING ME!

A LoHAV story that I'm writing as I go on.

ANNOUNCEMENT 6/4/2017: I'm sorry, but this story is cancelled. This has been a long time coming. As I've progressed as a writer I look back on this story with increasing amounts of disgust. Still, I know people enjoy it for some reason which is why I'm leaving it up for posterity's sake. Maybe I'll completely rewrite it from the ground up in the future, but that time is not now.

Okay let's just go over everything that's happened so far. Dragged into a road trip, check. Dragged to a convention, check. Dragged through dimension. Wait what? Okay, universe. Stop! Seriously what did I do to deserve that last one! Stop throwing me into impossibly horrible situations! It was bad enough being world thrown, but public enemy number 1!? What did I ever do to you!?

Evidently, I must have done a lot. I have been trapped here with nothing but my wit and ingenuity, but I'm still alive and have at least one friend. I decided that it would be better make the most out of my new life, and see if I can live at all in this crazed world of Magic and Myths. Hopefully I won't screw up too badly. I fear what may come if I do. Though.... this is all starting to feel familiar. I'm having some difficulty remembering from where though.
Co-authored from chapter 22 and on with Shinigamisparda

Alt Cover Art
Story inspired by "F**k it, I'm having fun" by JimmytheGrape and everything else in the League of Humans acting Villainous.
Props to them! Cover art is not mine.
Edit*2/13/2014*FEATUREBOXYES!
Edit**4/28/14**Technopathic is amazing and you should thank her greatly for working on new cover art for me. It's not done, but as she does it, I will continue to update my cover.
Edit***5/23/14*** NEW cover art is COMPLETE!
Edit****6/28/14**** Old cover art is back by popular demand

At Canterlot High School, the Rainbooms try to get Fluttershy to stop being so shy, but not the way she wants it! Meanwhile, the Decepticons arrive to Canterlot High to learn better so they can still beat the Autobots. With Canterlot High transforming into Kaon High, Fluttershy fails a basketball game which makes her friends tease her and it's up to Lord Megatron and Commander Starscream to fix this...

TF: Set in the Transformers Prime Universe. This will include some offline characters from the show such as Skyquake, Dreadwing, Breakdown, the Eradicon Vehicon Squadron, and characters that haven't showed up before Season 3 such as Shockwave and Preadaking.

MLP EQG: Right after Rainbow Rocks and before Friendship Games. This will have the Shadowbolts such as Sour Sweet and Indigo Zap.

It was the first time that I ever cosplayed.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, last I remember is a flash of light and suddenly I'm in Equestria.

AND I'VE BEEN A FUCKING STATUE FOR THREE-THOUSAND YEARS!

But now I'm back... and that pretty white faker of a ruler is gonna pay...
for I

am...

MEGATRON!!!

Edited by GS4

It is recommended you read this story in one of the Dark formats in order to better distinguish the colored text of the 'other voices'.

Hey folks! Name's Deadpool!
I thought that was all of us?
It is. He's just introducing us as a single entity.
Will you two idiots be quiet? I'm trying to talk to the readers! Anyway, I know you've all been waiting with bated breath for this story ever since it was announced, and here it is! And it's going to have everything you'd expect of such a story!
Explosions!
Adorable father-daughter bonding moments.
Total babes!
Awkward hilarity.
Not to mention me, Deadpool, the merc with-
Daddy, who are you talking to?
Oh hey Chryssi! Just telling the readers about-
Are you breaking the fourth wall again? I thought you were going to teach me how to do that today.
That's what I'm doing! Say hi to the readers, Chryssi!
You will all love me and despair as I feed upon your adoration to become an unstoppable god!
That's my girl! Hey, wanna read the story with me?
I brought popcorn and chimichangas.
*sniffle* You're the best thing to ever happen to me, Chryssi!

Hey look! We've got cover art now!
Aww, you were so cute at that age!
And I'm not cute now?
Now you're sexy!
We should thank Sanyo21 for the image.
Then I guess I'll throw up a link! Nnnghha! http://www.fimfiction.net/user/sanyo21
...did you really have to literally throw it?
Yup!
Oh, and for those who don't know yet, this story is part of the PWNY-verse. It's not all about us - even if it should be - but you'll probably enjoy it to-Oh, stop making me a shill already!

Oh, by the way, it's recommended you read this story in Dark or Ultra Dark. Some of the colored text doesn't show up clearly otherwise. Not necessary, but just a suggestion.

I never wanted this. I had a good life. Granted it wasn't very exciting, and I wasn't exactly the most important person in it, but it was mine. I don't know why you did this, or why you chose me, but I promise you I will find you. I don't know when. I don't know where, but I will find you. Trust me, I've got all the time in the world, thanks to you.

Carlos Aviles was taken from his life and pushed into a role he thought was only fantasy. In a new place, with access to strange knowledge and power, he has to decide what to do with the rest of his life. More importantly, will this new-found purpose change who he is? Or will he hang on to himself?

My take on an old classic. I write this in an attempt to freshen up older cliches, and as an exercise in showing and not telling.

“Father…” Adagio whispered. “Please spare them?”

The mountainous digits closed down around her. But she did not swim away. She stared back up into those ageless yellow eyes with nothing but fear and respect. Before his fist closed around her, he whispered back.

“No.”

Now being proofread by the wise and ever-present Idsertian, who's patients for my idiocy transcends history and the world.

Rating changed to "Teen" because reasons.

Inspired by multiple failed ideas in the past.

Enjoy!

[img]https://i.ibb.co/2FKMjfP/Spike-smaller.png[/img]
(Higher rez image here)

Artwork by a good friend of mine, Nina Ward

The force. A ubiquitous power of untold potential. Both the Jedi and the Sith look to the power for guidance, believing it to be the ultimate embodiment of all that is in the universe. But what is the true extent of its power? What is its reach, and how many species can it touch?
Spike. A baby dragon raised in Equestria by the personal protégé of the monarch of the sun. He is looked to for friendship and compassion by scores of ponies, as well as providing the bonds of a sibling to one pony in particular, and often the one source of sense in a group of eccentric friends.
Can a dragon from a back water planet truly master the ways of the strongest power in the galaxy?

[img]https://i.ibb.co/2FKMjfP/Spike-smaller.png[/img]
(Higher rez image here)

Artwork by a good friend of mine, Nina Ward

Comments may contain spoilers. You have been warned.

Ok, so this thing is going to be the longest story I've written. By far. Hope I can keep your attention.
Rated teen for some gore and swearing.

Black-Light Library approved.
[img]http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/377/554/bd5.png[/img]

Once banished for a crime she didn't commit until she was rescued by Delta Squad. Now Twilight Sparkle must adapt to her new life serving the Grand Republic Army as a commando with Delta Squad. What does the future holds for Twilight and her new family. Will she ever return to Equestria again to face her past.

This is my first fanfic. So please go easy on the criticism please and enjoy.

This take place after a month of the battle of Geonosis but will not relate to the novels.