//------------------------------// // You Didn't Keep Score? // Story: The Merc With the Moth // by Tatsurou //------------------------------// After a rousing game of Pain Ball between the three competitors- "Oh, come on! It happened off screen?" "Hush, you." "But we aren't even going to know who won!" "Pretty sure the title gave that away before any words could." -the small family made their way back towards the apartment, stretching and working out the kinks rapid healing had caused. "Well, that was fun," Uncle Fuzzy admitted. "I'll say!" Deadpool proclaimed. "I haven't had that much fun since I made my own video game!" "Video game?" Chrysalis asked eagerly. "When you're a little older, we'll remake it with you in it," Deadpool promised. "Which version?" Uncle Fuzzy asked. "Two player co-op, two player versus, or the Chrysalis solo DLC?" Deadpool grinned widely. "Maybe all three?" "I don't think the Chrysalis solo DLC campaign would sell well," Stuffy pointed out. "It would take away most of the sex humor, you'd lose the voices in the head humor...you'd just have Chrysalis running around blowing stuff up." "What's wrong with that?" Crazy demanded. "It's less than a reskin. Only hardcore bronies would get it, and they'd likely want their money back." "Two player co-op with competitive scoring, then," Deadpool suggested. "How would that work?" Uncle Fuzzy asked. "Both players have to survive to the end of the mission to clear it, and then they're graded on their scores as compared to each other," Deadpool explained. "Wouldn't some people compete too aggressively, though?" "Don't say what you're scoring on until after each mission?" Chrysalis suggested. "Brilliant!" Deadpool proclaimed. He quickly wrote that down for when it was time to make the campaign. Uncle Fuzzy chuckled, handing Deadpool his spare guns. "Well, I need to get back to the Institute," he stated. "There's still some clean up to do, and then I need to decide what I'm going to do with the rest of my life." "Sure thing, Fuzzy!" Deadpool replied. "Catch ya later, bro!" He held out his fist. Rolling his eyes, Uncle Fuzzy bumped knuckles with him. "Bye bye Uncle Fuzzy!" Chrysalis agreed happily, holding up one hoof. Uncle Fuzzy bumped his knuckles with her with a chuckle, and then he left. Deadpool grinned as he led the way home. "This was a good day," he said happily. "So what are we gonna do tonight, Daddy?" Chrysalis asked. "The same thing we do every night, Queenie," he replied. Chrysalis tilted her head, scratching her chin in thought. "Try to take over the world?" she asked. "Oh! I haven't watched Pinkie and the Brain in a while!" Deadpool said happily. "I'ma load that up on Netflix! Oh, and Animaniacs! I need to introduce you to the wonders of variety comedy! We're binge watching tonight!" Chrysalis cheered happily. "With blackjack and hookers?" she asked. "You're a bit young for the latter, and I'm not in the mood for the former," Deadpool countered. "But we can play a drinking game!" "You are not giving her alcohol," Stuffy scolded. "Course not!" Deadpool replied. "I'm hurt you'd even think that." "Well, it is you-" "Energy drinks!" "...QED, Wade. QED." "Oh! What's the drink signal? What's the drink signal?" "During Pinky and the Brain, whenever Brain insults Pinkie, we take a shot," Deadpool postulated. "When he hits him, that's a double." "If not for your healing factor, you'd be dead of alcohol poisoning before we got to Animaniacs." "Oh! And in Animaniacs, it's whenever Yakko says 'Goodnight everybody'!" "That combination might even kill you," Stuffy pointed out. "That'll be fun to see!" Deadpool proclaimed. "Any bets on how long it takes Chrysalis to explode from hyperactivity?" Crazy asked. "Before we get to Animaniacs," Stuffy wagered. "You're on!" Chrysalis bounced happily as they made their way home. "Gonna be drinking Monsters! Gonna be drinking Monsters!" Deadpool laughed. "This is definitely going to be a fun night..." The following morning, Deadpool stared around at the wreck of his apartment. "What happened?" he asked groggily through his hangover. "Did...did Chryssie explode?" "In...a manner of speaking," Stuffy explained. "But not the boom-boom kind, so Stuffy still owes me $20!" Deadpool glanced around. "So...what happened?" he asked as he stared at the holes in the walls. "Apparently, Changelings can metabolize sugar in much the same way insects do," Stuffy explained. "So as she drank the energy drinks, she stored all the sugar and stimulants and used them over time." "Right up until she hit her limit after the last 'Goodnight everybody'," Crazy added. "Then she started vibrating." "After that, she let out a high pitched squeal and-" "EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" suddenly echoed through the apartment as Chrysalis smashed through the wall in a ball of green fire. "Flee! Flee for your lives, puny mortals! The Undying Queen shall devour all! EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" She then smashed through the opposite wall, blasting the ground and anyone too slow with green lightning as screams echoed. "Apparently, sugar is used by Changelings to boost magical output artificially," Stuffy offered. "She's been doing that ever since." Deadpool stared as Chrysalis reigned terror on the frightened populace of the city. "I...should probably stop her, shouldn't I?" he asked. "Probably," Stuffy agreed. "Alternatively, you could get popcorn and a video camera," Crazy offered. Deadpool yanked out a large bowl and recording equipment. "Option Two it is!" he proclaimed happily. "Fry them, my pretty! Fly and fry!" "Why do I even bother?" Stuffy wondered in resignation.