Deadpool and Chrysalis charged into the office building they'd broken into. Several armed mooks began charging towards them again, and the pair began ripping them apart with a mixture of blades and bullets. After a time, Chrysalis spoke up. "So Daddy, what are we actually doing here?"
"You hear that guy giving orders over the loudspeaker that the Author isn't bothering to transcribe?" Deadpool asked. "We're here to get him!"
"Why not just blow up the whole building, then?" Chrysalis asked.
"Because we need to take him alive," Deadpool pointed out.
"Not...because you don't have enough explosives?" one of the mooks asked.
"Nope!" Deadpool replied, grinning widely.
The mooks ran away again. One of them shouted at the angry voice on the loudspeaker, "You aren't paying us enough for this!"
"Did...did you just get a diplomacy victory?" Stuffy asked in shock.
"Get back here!" Crazy shouted angrily. "We weren't done killing you yet!"
As they got to the elevators, however, they were shut down.
"Welp, now we have to power them back on-" Deadpool paused as he stared at Chrysalis scrabbling at the wall. "What are you doing?"
"Trying to walk up the wall!" she pouted. "But I can't!"
"That ability has been disabled so the two player characters can be balanced, much like our normal infinite flight," Stuffalis pointed out.
"Screw balancing! Let's blow this place sky high!" Cray-Chry complained.
Chrysalis sat back on her haunches and pouted.
Deadpool chuckled. "Sometimes, you are just too cute!" he squeed, pinching her cheeks.
"We get to turn power off to the entire building now," Stuffy pointed out.
Chrysalis squealed happily. "Time for lights out!"
The duo made their way to the maintenance area, alternately slaughtering and mentally scarring the mooks they encountered along the way. When they reached the power switch, however, an unexpected hurdle occurred.
There were two of them. And only one switch.
"I wanna throw it!" Chrysalis complained.
"I wanna throw it!" Deadpool complained back.
"I wanna!"
"I wanna!"
The pair began pushing each other back and forth angrily, each trying to claim control of the switch.
"Why is this even so important?" Stuffy demanded.
"Duh!" Cray-Chry pointed out. "Whoever pulls the switch is going to get mondo bonus points for the level!"
"And it's going to be us!" Crazy pointed out.
"Ugh!" Stuffalis complained. "Why not just call up High Moon and insist they program another switch that has to be pressed simultaneously?"
Deadpool and Chrysalis both froze. "Good idea!" Deadpool said, stepping back from the controls and reaching for his phone.
"Now!"
Chrysalis leapt forward and threw the switch.
As the lights went down, Deadpool stared at Chrysalis. "You tricked me!" he proclaimed. "...I'm so proud!"
Chrysalis grinned. As the lights went down, her eyes and teeth glowed in the dark, giving a Cheshire impression.
"That is so awesome!" Crazy said as the emergency lights came on.
"I know, right?"
As they headed out of maintenance, a group of mooks blocked their path.
"Okay, Chrysi!" Deadpool proclaimed. "Now it's your turn to try a Momentum attack!"
"Momentum?" she asked, confused.
"Yeah, that orange bar on the left side of your screen's HUD," Deadpool explained.
"But I don't have one of those," Chrysalis pointed out.
"Eh?"
"I have a green bar labeled magic."
As his eyes widened in excitement, Deadpool leapt behind a nearby piece of equipment. "Unleash the magics!" he proclaimed, peeking out to watch.
Closing her eyes, Chrysalis focused, and an arc of lightning lashed out before her, incinerating the mooks as it did more damage than their full health.
"So...awesome!" Deadpool squealed.
"So...I build up magic by doing a better job beating people up?" Chrysalis asked curiously. "How does that work?"
"Our magic is based in Daddy's love," Stuffalis explained. "Epic battle maneuvers result in surges of admiration and pride from Daddy, which we're able to absorb to power magical super attacks once we have enough stored up."
"...that actually works?"
"Of course not. But it's close enough to an explanation that the game programmers can use it to have the game make sense."
"Alternatively, all the enemies could be secret masochists, and they love it when you beat the crap out of them," Crazy offered.
"How does that even make sense?" Stuffy demanded.
"Why else would they be constantly charging into certain brutal and painful death by fighting us?"
Everyone was silent for a time.
"...I feel icky," Chrysalis said at long last.
"Let's pretend Stuffalis' explanation is the real one," Deadpool offered.
"Agreed."
"Also, you get more Magic moves by upgrading your transformation capacity," Stuffalis added.
As more mooks came, Chrysalis learned that her best method of dealing with enemies that blocked was to go for the legs or...other lower down targets.
"Ooh..." Deadpool winced sympathetically as Chrysalis withdrew one of her blade-arms. "Right in the mommy-daddy button..."
After fighting their way through several more groups of mooks, Deadpool and Chrysalis got into an open elevator. As the doors closed, Chrysalis looked up at Deadpool. "I'm...kinda hungry."
Smiling, Deadpool scooped her up and began petting her tummy, letting his love flow freely into her. As the elevator moved, an appropriate song began to play. "You are my sunshine," Deadpool sang along, "my only sunshine...you make me happy...when skies are gray...you'll always know dear, how much I love you...so please don't take-"
The lights in the elevator went off as the music stopped.
"Who stole the sunshine!" Chrysalis demanded angrily.
"Get us out!" Cray-Chry shouted. "I'm lobster-phobic!"
"You mean...claustrophobic?"
"No! I'm scared of the lobsters that appear in dark, enclosed spaces and try to pinch your bottom with their pincers!"
"And I thought you were crazy," Stuffy commented dryly.
"Don't worry Cray-Chry! I'll protect you from the wicked, perverted lobsters!"
Chuckling, Deadpool shot out the glass exterior of the elevator, letting the pair leap out onto the platforms outside.