And Chrysalis
As Chrysalis walked around the apartment, she heard a beep from the answering machine. "Deadpool, it's Uncle Fuzzy. Got your message, and bro or not, you still don't get to take the Blackbird out for a joyride. Now stop calling about it until Chrysalis is big enough to reach the controls."
The next message played. "Hey Deadpool, it's Domino. So I got another contract for you if you're interested. The coin is good, so just let me know. And about that...other thing you texted me about..." There was static for a time. "That's...not really something a Father should be thinking about, especially when you're - from what I hear - in a committed relationship. Speaking of which, when am I going to meet your little girl?"
"Did that seem scripted to anyone else?" Cray-Chry asked.
"Felt that way to me," Stuffaliss agreed.
"Except for Uncle Fuzzy and bringing up Chrysalis, it was almost exactly how our game started off," Stuffy pointed out.
"Oh my gosh, does that mean it's time for the remake?" Crazy asked eagerly.
The answering machine beeped again. "Deadpool, it's Peter Della Penna from High Moon Studios. You know, the guy you kept calling 'dickhead' when you cornered me in the parking lot? The one whose head your little girl transformed into a dick for laughs?"
"Good times!" Deadpool reminisced.
"Anyway, looked over your proposal about the game remake," the message continued, "and...not going to pretend I understood any of it. The answer was going to be no, but..."
"No but?" Deadpool asked. "That's different."
"Well..." There was static for a time. "The little lady's agent met up with me...and made it plain if I and the company didn't go through with it, that we would live to regret it for a very long time. Something about a 1000 year digestion process?"
"You have an agent?" Deadpool asked in surprise.
"At any rate," Peter continued, "Mr. Soggoth was very convincing, so we're going through with it. You get to do the whole thing all over again with your little bug pony girl in tow-" The message was interrupted by a squealing roar that no earthly orifice could possibly produce, and probably wasn't being reproduced properly by the answering machine. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Changeling Queen! She's absolutely adorable! Please don't eat my brain!"
Deadpool turned to Chrysalis. "Girl, you are good at being bad!" he praised. "Hoof bump!" He held out his closed fist.
Giggling, Chrysalis returned the gesture with her hoof.
"At any rate, we'll be sending over the revised script just as soon as it's completed." The machine beeped as the message ended.
Deadpool and Chrysalis both turned to each other in shock. "Script?" they and all four head voices demanded together.
And Chrysalis
"This is bullshit!" Deadpool complained. "A script? How is some writer supposed to know us better than-"
"We're in a fanfic that is now rewriting an already existing game," Stuffy interrupted.
"You aren't actually suggesting we stick to the script, are you?" Deadpool demanded.
"No more than we did in the game."
"Hey Chrysi, what's that vial you've got around your neck?" Crazy asked.
Chrysalis looked up. "Oh, this?" she asked. "It's a sample of Thunder's blood. I figured I could make a clone of him that was a stallion instead of a gelding, and then I'd have a nice colt to date!"
"Well, Mr. Sinister does have cloning technology in this game," Stuffy pointed out.
"I'm not sure how to feel about using the game timeline to get Chrysi laid," Deadpool pointed out. "She's kinda young..."
"She wants to date him."
"We'll see."
Achievement Unlocked: Kowai Kawaii
Chrysalis being herself
Chrysalis promptly pulled out her gun and shot the Achievement box. "None of that," she growled.
"Not one for completionism?" Deadpool asked.
"Not one for spies!" she hissed back.
"Said the Queen of the Changelings, who excel at infiltration."
"Well, yeah," Chrysalis replied. "But those are my spies. It's other people's I don't like!"
"Makes sense to me!"
Just then, the doorbell rang.
"Someone's here to see us?" Chrysalis squealed happily, leaping onto Dogpool's back - he was full grown now - and riding him to the door. "Who is it?" she asked as she looked up through the open door. This was followed by a fwhump of someone falling to the floor. "Daddy, a kinda cute, scantily clad delivery girl just fainted from our overpowering cuteness! Wanna cop a feel while we bring in the package?"
"Tempting, but no," Deadpool replied as he took the package. "But you can go right ahead if you like."
Chrysalis grinned widely. "Dogpool, hump!"
There was a loud shriek as the delivery girl took to her heels with Dogpool chasing after her, slobbering like crazy.
Deadpool chuckled as he flipped the script open. "You crack me up, Chrysi! Now let's see...uh huh...uh huh...wait, that's different."
"What's it say?"
"On take your daughter to work day, Deadpool takes Chrysalis out to hunt down the Bad Man he's hired to capture, but complications ensue as crazy shit keeps interfering and stealing their bounty. Also, some craziness involving Mr. Sinister and all of Deadpool and Chrysi's friends, chimichangas, overpriced explosions, and adorable shenanigans," Deadpool read from the script.
Crazy gasped. "The writers do know us!"
"...what else does it say?"
"Beyond that, it's just a list of places we should go in order, people we should talk to, and 'Improvise' written across every page in big red and green letters," Deadpool replied.
Chrysalis squealed happily. "This is gonna be so much fun!"