Deadpool chased Chrysalis around the now clean apartment. "I'm gonna getcha!" he shouted playfully as she raced ahead of him over the sofa, under the chair, through the kitchen, under the bed. "I'm gonna getcha!"
Chrysalis squealed in glee as she raced ahead of him, giggling as she ducked in and around everything in the house, plainly loving the game. "Not gonna get me Daddy!" she screamed back. "I'm gonna win!"
"Don't be so sure!" Deadpool called back. "I have more energy than you-"
At that moment, a familiar light flashed in front of him, too close to dodge out of the way. "Bug-"
His pieces fell over the ground from the time warp telefrag. "-ger!" he finished.
"Talk about bad timeing!" Crazy joked.
"...that was terrible," Stuffy pointed out.
Cable stood up and turned around. "Pull yourself together, Wade! We've got a temporal emergency on our hands and I need your help!"
"...that one was worse."
"I don't think he was trying to make a joke."
"I know."
Chrysalis walked up and began levitating Deadpool's pieces back together. "I win!" she gloated happily.
Deadpool rolled his eyes and blew a raspberry at Chrysalis, making her giggle. "Look, Cable, you know I'd love to help out, but I've got responsibilities now-"
"There's no time, Wade!" Cable barked out. "Logan's going to be meeting us here-"
"You already arranged for a sitter for Chrysi?" Deadpool interrupted. "Well, that changes everything!" He turned to Chrysalis. "Now you behave for Mr. Logan, okay? He acts mean and gruff, but he's got a gooey center."
"Can I dig it out?" Chrysalis asked eagerly.
Deadpool chuckled. "That's my little hellion!" he praised, mussing her mane.
"I didn't mean-" Cable began, only to be interrupted by knocking.
"Wade!" Wolverine barked from outside. "Get off your ass and open the do-"
Deadpool pulled the door open and yanked Wolverine - his yellow and blue spandex looking somewhat dirty - into the apartment. "She's a Changeling, not a donkey. She's a real sweetheart, you'll get along just fine. She's had a full feeding this morning, so she should be fine till Cable and I get back from whatever historical emergency he's asking me to help take care of. She's easy to entertain, just play with her. Balls, yarn, feather sticks, and laser pointers are in the first drawer by the fridge. Thank ya bunches!" With that, Deadpool yanked Cable out the door. "Be back soon, Chrysi! Love ya barrels!" He then slammed the door shut.
Wolverine blinked. "Coulda sworn I was supposed to be part of the mission," he commented dryly.
Chrysalis smiled up at Wolverine. "Can I see your gooey center?" she asked, levitating a scalpel and a shovel in her magic.
Wolverine rolled his eyes. "You're definitely Deadpool's kid." He blinked, feeling momentarily dizzy. "Come here," he told her dryly.
She giggled. "Catch me first!" With that, she dashed off around the apartment.
"You do realize Wolverine was supposed to back us up on the mission, right?" Cable pointed out.
"You're the one who told me to always make sure she had someone watching her," Deadpool countered. "I'd have asked Wolverine to watch her a while ago, but he wasn't taking my calls!"
"Why was that, anyway?" Cable asked.
"Well...it might have been what I did to the Blackbird..." Deadpool offered. "Or it might be because when I asked Chuckie to watch her, she wound up blowing up the Institute...or it might be that joke I left on his message board about him dating a Yurei because of how many of his Japanese girlfriends have wound up dead." Deadpool scratched his chin. "Think I should apologize for that last one?"
Cable decided not to comment. "I note you never actually forbade Chrysalis from digging Wolverine's 'gooey center' out."
"I wanna know if it's actually possible!" Deadpool countered. "If anyone can manage it, it's Chrysi!"
"We should probably change to a more important topic just now," Stuffy pointed out.
"What could possibly be more important to talk about than little Chrysalis?" Crazy asked in confusion.
"Long term, probably nothing. Short term, the nature of the mission we're on."
"That's a good point," Deadpool agreed, putting the pink thread, pink cloth, plush, and sewing kit away. "What is this mission you're calling me out to stop?"
"Stryker and Trask have teamed up," Cable replied. "They intend to combine Stryker's research into mutant abilities with Trask's Sentinel designs to create the ultimate anti-mutant weapon: Sentinels that can pass for human or mutant."
"They're making mutant Terminators?" Deadpool asked in shock. "Wow, it'll be like fighting that Deathstroke guy all over again."
"And again, and again, and again, and a-"
"Will you stop?"
"What? You know how Sentinels work. You can never kill just one!"
"That's because there never is just one..." Stuffy's voice trailed off.
"...did I just make another valid point without even realizing it?" Crazy asked in shock.
"I know. It's scary."
"So what convoluted path of adventuring will we be going on to stop this instead of charging straight in and blowing shit up?" Deadpool asked Cable.
"Actually, we're just going straight in and blowing shit up," Cable replied.
"Wait, really?" Deadpool demanded in surprise, his question echoed - in his head at least - by both Crazy and Stuffy.
"I don't like your methods, Deadpool," Cable replied. "But I can't deny that they've proven exceptionally effective in the past. So we're going to start with Trask labs, blow up everything in sight except the computers, swipe every bit of data we can decrypt, and then blow up the computers."
Deadpool hugged Cable tight. "If I weren't in a committed relationship with the Grim Reaper, I would totally go gay for you right now."
"Get off me, Wade," Cable growled angrily.
Chrysalis continued racing ahead of Wolverine, a little upset that he wasn't running after her. He was just walking calmly in pursuit. Eventually, she paused on the couch and threw a pillow at his face. "This is no fun if you don't try," she complained.
"Then how about we go for a ride instead?" Wolverine suggested, gesturing to his motorcycle out the window.
Chrysalis glanced out the window, then shook her head. "Uh-uh," she said. "I'm not supposed to leave the apartment except with Daddy! That's the one rule I'm not supposed to break. Long as I obey that one, I don't get in trouble for sneaking around and breaking the others."
Wolverine frowned, and his claws shot out. "You're coming," he growled.
Chrysalis glanced from his claws to his eyes. "I don't like that," she growled back, her horn glowing.
Wolverine's eyes instantly filled with a green light, and his arm went slack.
Chrysalis' eyes widened. This didn't make any sense. She knew she could control minds with enough practice - Deadpool had told her all about her powers - but all previous attempts hadn't worked well. Xavier's mind had been too strong, and the psychic backlash as she'd eaten chunks out of his astral form had caused a lot of damage. Trying it on Squirrel Girl and her squirrels had only disrupted their communication and sent the squirrels running, though they'd been fun to chase and tasty to drain. Spidey she'd only been able to confuse into tying himself up in his own web. But Wolverine had fallen instantly.
Probing, she discovered why. Someone else had already applied some sort of mental manipulation to Wolverine, which had been activated by her presence. She'd just usurped control with her magic.
She grinned widely as she sent a mental command to her new puppet. While love was all she needed to survive, she did get cravings for other things. This would be an easy way to get the other things she craved.
Hopefully Deadpool wouldn't object.
Deadpool and Cable made their way towards the Weapon X headquarters. "Well, that was a total waste of time," Deadpool chided as he returned to his sewing on their way to the base. "That place was deserted! There wasn't even anything left to blow up!"
"The computers didn't have anything new, either," Cable replied. "Except for something cryptic about 'the key to the project arriving'." He paused. "What are you working on there?"
"A present for Chrysi!" Deadpool replied easily. "A Pinkie Pie plushy!"
Cable frowned. "That doesn't look a thing like Pinkie Pie."
"Well, I never claimed to be good at sewing-" Deadpool froze. "How do you know about Pinkie Pie?"
"Friendship is Magic is one of the few things to survive - if somewhat in pieces - from this time in my future, and it gives the survivors hope for a chance to repair the world and save it." Cable smiled. "Smile Smile Smile is the National Anthem of the Free Peoples."
Deadpool blinked. "Wait...you mean in your time, everyone who hasn't been captured by the Sentinels is a brony?" When Cable nodded, Deadpool shrugged. "Oddly enough, I can see it."
"At any rate, you might want to put that away," Cable commented. "We're here..." His voice trailed off.
Weapon X HQ was in pieces. Several parts of it were on fire. Others were blown up. Bits and pieces of soldiers littered the ground, trees, and walls. Vulgar messages were written in blood on the walls. Every bit of machinery that once whirred, clicked, or beeped was scattered like Legos on a child's play room.
"What the fuck?" Deadpool shouted.
"We missed the carnage again?" Crazy complained.
"What the hell happened here?" Stuffy marveled.
"If Chrysalis had something to do with this, I'm bringing her along next mission whether she's regenerating or not!" Deadpool complained. "I'm sick of missing all the action!"
"Please don't hurt me!" suddenly echoed from up a nearby tree that was dripping blood.
Cable and Deadpool glanced up the tree. Sabretooth was impaled on the trunk, quivering like a leaf. "Sabretooth?" Cable asked in shock.
"What the hell happened here?" Deadpool demanded.
"It was Logan!" Sabretooth whimpered. "He came in, his eyes glowing, and butchered everything in sight! Set everything on fire, blew it up...if he'd been laughing, I'd have thought it was Deadpool in disguise! Then when he was through, he grabbed Stryker and Trask, broke all their limbs, and dragged them off on his motorcycle!"
"What?" Cable asked in shock. "But...but that doesn't sound like Logan at all!"
"And if he was here, who's watching Chrysi!" Deadpool gasped. Turning, he raced for home as fast as his legs could carry him, Cable hot on his heels. "Curse the written medium!" Deadpool shouted after a time. "If this were a comic, I could panel hop to home and be there in minutes!"
As Deadpool reached his apartment, he heard girlish screams from inside. "I'm coming, Chrysi!" he screamed, yanking out his twin machine guns as he kicked the door open. "Nobody hurts my ba...by..." His voice trailed off.
"...what am I seeing?"
"We're Deadpool and we're caught off guard by this..."
Chrysalis sat in a corner, calmly munching what was left of Trask's face off. In front of her, Wolverine - his eyes glowing green - was dressed in a ridiculous outfit and clog dancing on Stryker's testicles. Stryker had been the one screaming. Chrysalis giggled as she took another bite of Trask, her teeth easily crunching bone.
Cable took one look at the sight and raced for the bathroom. Retching could be heard from within.
Deadpool glanced from Chrysalis to Wolverine, instantly recognizing what the glow meant. "You've got him under your control?" Deadpool asked.
Chrysalis nodded as she swallowed an eyeball.
"And you're making him do this? And other tricks?" he asked eagerly.
Chrysalis grinned around Trask's tongue and nodded as she swallowed.
Deadpool crowed happily. "That's my girl!"
"I always wanted to ride a unicorn that would eat the flesh of our enemies!" Crazy cheered.
"Chrysalis will actually be big enough to ride when she gets full grown," Stuffy pointed out.
"And she has wings so she'll fly!" Crazy added.
After a time, Cable came back out. "Well...I think we can consider the Sentinel project and Weapon X...dealt with," he said, pointedly not looking at Chrysalis' meal. "Sorry about your bathroom. I noticed you did as I suggested and cleaned up-"
Deadpool handed him a toilet brush, a bottle of all purpose toilet cleaner, a pair of gloves, and an anti-bacterial air freshener. "You made the mess, you clean it up," he scolded. "No telling what your future germs would do to Chrysi."
Cable nodded and returned to the bathroom.
When Chrysalis stopped eating and let out a belch. "All done!"
Wolverine stopped clog dancing, snapped Stryker's neck, and stuffed Stryker and what was left of Trask into a massive cooler that wasn't there the day before. He then put on a tutu and proceeded to ballet dance his way back to Xavier Institute.
"Chrysalis, I love you!" Deadpool crowed, pulling the little Changeling into his arms for a hug.
Chrysalis smiled, nuzzling into his chest and absorbing the energy of his love.
"By the way, I have a surprise for you!" he said happily.
Chrysalis bounced back happily. "Surprise! I wanna surprise!"
Deadpool grinned widely. "Made it myself!" he proclaimed happily. It was supposed to be Pinkie Pie...but I'm not very good..." He pulled out the completed plushy.
Chrysalis squealed happily and glomped the plushy. "It's so fluffy!" she squealed happily. When she squeezed it, it made a raspberry noise from its mouth.
"Wow, I'm really bad at making things," Deadpool muttered. "That was supposed to be a laugh."
Chrysalis giggled, squeezing the plushy - which was three times her size - repeatedly for the noise as she nuzzled into it.
Deadpool smiled. "Well, as long as you like it!"