"Alright then," Deadpool said as he pulled himself back together. "Plainly you know how to dodge pretty well. So now it's time for the combat portion of the training!"
Chrysalis gasped happily. "You're gonna teach me how to shoot energy blasts?" she squealed.
"Uh, no," Deadpool replied sadly. "I don't know how to do that...yet." He raised his clenched fist to the sky. "But someday I will...and then I will be best Piccolo!"
"You...do realize Namekians don't have genitalia, right?" Stuffy asked.
"That's how we'll be better!" Crazy pointed out. "Cause we'll be the Piccolo that everyone can use for their crazy fanfictions as the father of their crazily overpowered half-Namekian self insert OCs."
"You realize most of those involve Piccolo somehow mating with Goku, right?"
"Oh mighty Shenron! We wish Goku was a girl!"
"Best...Dragonball wish...ever!" Deadpool whispered happily.
Chrysalis giggled happily. "So whatcha teach me, then?" she asked, deliberately exaggerating her adorableness as it made Deadpool's love taste sweeter.
Grinning widely, Deadpool pulled out his guns. "Now I'm going to teach you to shoot live targets!"
"So we're going to play paint ball with her?" Uncle Fuzzy asked.
"Close," Deadpool replied, aiming at Uncle Fuzzy. "Remove the T." He then opened fire.
Chrysalis watched in fascination as Uncle Fuzzy took a full salvo of bullets from a pair of automatic machine guns. When the weapons fire halted, Uncle Fuzzy coughed for a bit, and the bullets popped out of his body as he healed. "A bit more warning next time," he grumbled.
"Aw! He spoiled the reference!" Crazy pouted.
"Obviously, he got it before being shot," Stuffy pointed out.
Deadpool then handed the machine guns to Chrysalis. "First, you need to learn how to reload them. Start with taking the magazines out like so..."
Deadpool then spent the next 20 minutes explaining to Chrysalis how each part of the guns worked, what they were called, and other important gun safety lessons such as "point the barrel at the targets, not your own face...unless you're making a reference joke."
Chrysalis absorbed these lessons as best she could. "Do I get to shoot at you both now?" she whined.
"Yes!" Deadpool proclaimed. He started a timer. "You have...five minutes to land 100 hits on each of us! When you can manage that, you pass this course!"
"Those guns hold only fifty bullets each," Uncle Fuzzy pointed out. "You're saying she has to hit us both with a full magazine of both guns in five minutes?"
"I could pull it off!" Deadpool proclaimed. "And so will she!" He then leapt away. Groaning, Uncle Fuzzy followed.
Chrysalis took the first minute to examine the guns more fully with her magic before grinning widely. Racing after Uncle Fuzzy, she tagged him with her hoof, leaving a spot of magic on the small of his back. She then pointed her machine guns straight up and fired.
Uncle Fuzzy continued to do his best to dodge, but somehow the bullets homed in on the tagged spot on his back, making them impossible to dodge.
"She's got homing bullets!" Crazy gasped in amazement.
"She's placed one charge of her magic on Uncle Fuzzy and an opposite charge on the barrels of her guns," Stuffy explained. "The bullets pick up the charge as they pass through it, and are then magnetically drawn to the target on Uncle Fuzzy's back!"
"Like that Kaname Hagiri guy from Yu Yu Hakusho!" Deadpool proclaimed excitedly.
"Our inner Otaku is showing," Stuffy pointed out.
"Said the brony."
"Well, she's still going to have to touch me first!" Deadpool proclaimed before beginning to bounce around like a crazed monkey hyped up on smack...which was indistinguishable from his normal behavior.
Chrysalis grinned widely. She watched him for a time as the seconds ticked by while she reloaded her guns. As Deadpool came down on a lamppost, it suddenly glowed green and wrapped around him like a snake.
"What the-" he cried out before he was slammed into the ground.
Chrysalis then leapt onto his back and unloaded the entirety of both magazines into his backside just before the timer hit zero.
"...ow..." Deadpool whimpered as Chrysalis hopped off.
"Did I do good, Daddy?" she asked eagerly.
"How'd you do that thing with the lamppost?" he asked.
"What thing with the lamppost?" Stuffy asked.
"All we saw was you missing your footing for some reason and being really shocked when you landed face first on the ground."
Deadpool blinked, turning to stare at the perfectly normal lamppost behind him. "How did you...?"
Chrysalis giggled. "In-ter-net!" she said happily. "Illusion magic corre...spawn-dunce course?"
Uncle Fuzzy burst into laughter. "She picked up some of the Prof's tricks when she bit chunks out of his psychic aura," he pointed out. "She put the illusion so strongly in your mind it fooled your physical senses."
"But not that of the voices in my head," Deadpool pointed out. "Was that intentional or a flaw in the spell?"
"They don't have senses," Chrysalis pointed out. "They reading."
"What's that mean?" Crazy asked in confusion.
"I think she means our awareness of the world around Deadpool is based entirely in his fourth wall breaking powers."
"That's awesome!"
"Alright then!" Deadpool proclaimed happily. "Time for live fire! Uncle Fuzzy, get your guns!"
"I don't have any guns," he pointed out.
"Then get some of my spares! We're going Pain Balling!"
Chrysalis squealed happily, waving her guns around as Uncle Fuzzy fetched the spares.
Such an adorable little killer
"There's something on your face!"
*Punch to the face*
"IT WAS PAIN!"
Its it strange I see Chrysalis invading Equestria while out crazy pinkie and Discord
Still needs more.
6013564 most of these end with the ponies back in equestia.....equestria is boned ant it?
6013822 Eh, not really. Just imagine if each of Tatsu's stories were tied together, though...
It'd be like reading a Live-A-Live fic
Deadpool, you're doomed to a life of adorable slavery if she gets any better.
6013896 I think he's eventually going to do that... If you read the comments in some of the other stories, he mentions something about it...
(and, Tatsurou, if you're a girl and I just called you a he, I'm sorry!)
6013822 most of the time with the person who raised them.
Well, Equestria's doomed now. There's NO WAY that Shining Armor and Cadence can stand a chance against Chrysalis... Now all we have to do is to endure a battle of the crazies~
6013961
My name is Japanese for "Dragon Boy".
6014013 So you're a guy then. okay.
6013822 so very boned
Are any other DP and Wolverine characters going to show up?
My pick if possible.
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/d/d9/Deathstrikelady.png
6014200 Ahh, the bitchy aunt of the family!
6014550 and Wade would constantly stare at her boobs.
6014200 Stan Lee cameo.
6014072 thought so. Welp time to watch the world burn
6013995 yep they are screwed.
6013896 so just a place discord would like?
I'm starting to wonder what world/universe a baby Discord would wind up in/on...
If its an anime, I'm thinking Kill la Kill or Gurren Lagann as "maybes".
*gulp* Deadpool, Wolverine, and Chrysalis, running around with guns, two of which don't have much experience with firearms wile the third is insane.
This is so going to be a bad day for normal people.
6014658 Well, in hindsight, it wouldn't be so much like Live-A-Live, but more along the lines of each character that was cast away in another place in space and time unite as a bona fide Justice League. Well, the heroic characters, at least Chrysalis and Moony could be anti-heroes.
6014690 Nah, it would be One Piece. He would fit right in with the nutcases around there.
6014711 that sounds so epic!!
6014719 I dunno, most of those seem like normal choices. Except for One Piece, no idea since I've never seen it. How about Discord being raised by Panty and Stocking for the lols? Fits crazy in a sense. Or FLCL like watt was mentioned in another story in another comment.
6014750 Probably FLCL, though now I want to go watch P&SwG again. Time to dig through the internet again, later.
6014194 She feeds on emotion, so it become a stalemate in that case.
Chrysalis with guns? Oh dear God, we're all going to die!!
Chryssie.... has... guns...
WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!! FROM AN AMAZINGLY ADORABLE DEATH MACHINE!!!! THE END IS NEIGH!!
Awesome.... overload...
6014690 Personally, I'd like to see a baby Discord with Deadpool. THAT would be awesome... and terrifying, but mostly awesome.
6013591 That's an ASDF Movie reference.
The TFS one goes:
Cooler: "What's that on your face?"
Goku: "What's what on my fa-?"
Cooler: "My fist."
6015150 I know, what I don't know is why I posted that comment.
6015153 As someone who keeps FIMfiction, Skype and Steam open simultaneously, I've made my fair share of mistakenly placed comments, so I doubt anyone really cares.
6015212 At least it got a few likes, I rarely get that on my comments.
6014719 ...Dear Lord above, I think you're right.
6015509 The only possible parent figure for Discord is Q. But as of the make new friends but keep Discord, I now think Discord is already Q's son.
Painball sounds like fun!
... as long as you can regenerate, that is
6015644
or Q is himself playing parent to a younger him with paradox-less time travel (or all of them so they cancel each other out)
That was fun, may I have another? Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
6016635 What I mean is, I think Discord is Junior.
Good job with the self-advertising. Still, loved that one. Batmare was great as Rarity.
Chryssie is cutest little killer ever! Will she ever meet her 'cousin' X-23???
Too.........................Cute.............................
Time for me dig my bunker and reinforce it so that only pinkie pie can get in......
OH MY GOSH, OH MY GOSH, OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!
You have no idea how happy I am over the Yu Yu hakusho reference. That is one of my favorite anime's ever!
6019438 to survive the coming storm you need a bunker where not even pinkie pie will be able to enter....
6020278 pinkie can get anywhere so no point even trying
but at least i would have company and someone who can help cook food since i'm not that good
6020329 thats the point deadpool is like a very violent pinkie pie so if you want to survive him you need a place where not even pinkie will be able to get to. have fun with making a strong enough bunker for that
6020346 help me
But just so you know, i'm a teensy tiny bit insane in my head
Hiihihh.....