• Published 3rd May 2015
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The Merc With the Moth - Tatsurou

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After fighting their way through a few more waves of enemies and exploring parts of Genosha, Deadpool and Chrysalis were startled as a beam of blue light shot down from the sky to solidify into Cable.

"Cable!" Chrysalis screamed happily, rushing up to glomp him. "Did you bring me any presents?"

Cable chuckled, hugging her with his non-cybernetic arm. "Not this time, Chrysalis. I'm here on a mission."

"Oh!" Deadpool squealed happily. "Are you here to help us cause chaos, mayhem, and destruction in the name of stopping Mr. Clone Face's cloning schemes of cloning?"

"...more or less," Cable replied. "How did you know?"

"This is my second trip," Deadpool replied.

"Can we make big boom booms?" Chrysalis asked eagerly.

"Indeed we can," Cable agreed.

"So is this the part where you trick us into thinking an incredibly large breasted naked fangirl is waiting for us at the north end of the city?" Stuffy asked dryly.

"After boring us senseless to the point we shoot ourselves in the head to make it stop?" Crazy asked.

"Actually, I figured we'd skip that part and go straight to massacring our way there together," Cable replied.

Deadpool's eyes widened. "Is it my birthday already?"

"No. A Mr. Yog-Soggoth altered my script," Cable replied.

"Thank you Yoggy!" Chrysalis called out happily as they all drew their weapons.


As the trio made their way forward and upward, they encountered a flying opponent that used lightning and rain based attacks. "That's new!" Chrysalis said happily. "Daddy, combo attack!" She brought out her arm blades.

Grinning, Deadpool picked her up and hurled her like a javelin. While the enemy dodged, Chrysalis then buzzed her wings and latched onto him with body spikes. She then began to chew her way through his neck while going, "Nom nom nom nom nom nom nom..."

Deadpool squealed and sang along, pulling out a chimichanga to eat. "Nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom..."

Seeing the expectant looks directed his way, Cable rolled his eyes and sighed. "Nom nom nom nom nom nom nom.."

"Nom nom nom nom nom nom nom!" Cray-Chry finished.

Pretty soon, all the voices were singing along as they continued onward.

"Nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom!" Cable finished the song in his monotone deadpan, causing the others to burst into laughter.


Before long, the trio reached the north side of the city...and much to their surprise, a rather busty, naked woman stood waiting, bouncing and waving.

"...I'm not the only one seeing that, right?" Deadpool begged.

"Nope!" Crazy piped up.

"Nope," Stuffy agreed.

"I see her," Chrysalis mentioned.

"Me too!" Cray-Chry called out happily.

"Far too much of her," Stuffalis pointed out.

"I see her too," Cable replied slowly.

"Cable sees her too?" Crazy called out eagerly. "She must be real!"

The woman began running forward. "I'm your biggest fan!" she called out, her breasts bouncing pleasantly.

Grinning widely and eagerly, Deadpool spread his arms, eager to embrace her as music began to rise in an almost religious - or possibly orgasmic - crescendo.

"Chrysalis!" the woman finished, scooping the shocked Changeling up into her arms and snuggle her into her cleavage.

A rather loud record scratch could be heard as the music stopped. "...not fair..." Deadpool pouted.

Cable patted Deadpool comfortingly on the arm. "Don't feel too bad," he offered. "Chrysalis is just that adorable."

"But then why is she naked?" Deadpool demanded.

"Because I'm a nudist," the woman replied. "Besides, I thought Chrysi might want to nurse."

"Yay!" Chrysalis cried happily, latching onto a nipple and suckling away.

"...so not fair..." Deadpool added.


After the fangirl left, Chrysalis turned to Deadpool. "Are you alright, Daddy?"

"I'm okay, munchling," he replied, rubbing her head. "Just a little down."

"Would blowing up that tower help?" Chrysalis asked, pointing.

"It's not a mission objective," Cable pointed out.

"Wanton unnecessary destruction?" Deadpool asked, cheering up immediately. "Count me in!"


Once the trio had slaughtered their way through the defenses around the security tower - along with all the enemies that were drawn by the fight - Cable turned to the other two. "I need to get back to the future and double check the script at this point," he explained. "Wait here till I get back." With that, he warped away.

"But we haven't blown up the tower yet!" Chrysalis complained.

"Then lets do so!" Deadpool proclaimed happily. "And kill Mr. Clone Face while we're at it!"

Entering the tower, they began to play around with the machinery...accidentally triggering a massive magnetic distortion around the tower.

"But we were gonna win a billion dollars!" Chrysalis complained, referring to the spinner that was probably only in the pair's shared insanity.

"We'll just have to try again!" Deadpool shouted. "Lets climb!"

Climbing up, Deadpool attempted to stop the next wheel with a punch. This resulted in a cow flying by on the magnetism. Deadpool and Chrysalis stared at it for a time.

"This is our second time through, and I still don't understand how that cow is flying like that," Stuffy pointed out. "Cows aren't magnetic."

Deadpool tried to open the next one, but a large piece of debris flew towards them...which Chrysalis redirected. "Billion dollars!" she insisted, flipping the spinner open and spinning it.

As it spun, the spinner landed on 'Cream filling'.

Deadpool stared at it. "That's not appropriate," he said finally.

"What's not?" Chrysalis asked.

At that moment, a Twinkie truck smashed into the tower.

"...oh..." Deadpool allowed as the area became covered in white cream from the explosion as he hung from a floating platform, Chrysalis on top of it. "That cream filling."

Reaching the top, Deadpool and Chrysalis found Mr. Clone Face strapped into the machine. "You fools," he growled. "Nothing you do here will stop my master plan-"

"Music game time!" Deadpool shouted, rushing up to the controls.

"Dance pad!" Chrysalis shouted, leaping onto a different control panel.


After a rather amusing minigame involving music and dance cues where both Deadpool and Chrysalis broke into break dancing for no reason beyond they felt like it, the tower collapsed.

When they dug themselves out, hauling the corpse of Clone-Face with them, they found a note from Cable.

Wade, Chrysalis,

That was a clone. The real Clone-Face is in Magneto's old citadel. I bet you can't kick his ass.
Cable

"Oh no he didn't!" Deadpool screamed. "I am so killing Clone-Face and proving Cable wrong!"

PS. I left a build bot to make you the flying vehicle from before if you bring it the parts. It responds to 'Click-Clack'.

"Click-Clack?" Deadpool asked, surprised.

"Paddywack!" a robotic voice replied, waving at them and looking - and sounding - not unlike the CL4P-TP robots from Borderlands.

"Get a robot dude?" Chrysalis asked.

"This old bot will get us sued," Deadpool finished.