The following morning, Deadpool, Uncle Fuzzy, and Chrysalis walked down to the highway in preparation for Chrysalis' first training session. Chrysalis was bouncing happily from hoof to hoof, chanting "I'm gonna be like Da~ddy!" as she pranced. Deadpool couldn't help but grin at that, watching her joy at getting to join him in his activities. He then turned to his new brother. "So, how did you find out her super healing had come in?"
"She flew into traffic and got side swiped by a semi," Uncle Fuzzy explained. "Her two halves got up independent of each other, a green energy barrier keeping her innards from leaking out, and I helped her put herself back together."
"Wow! That's even better than mine!" Deadpool said happily. "I always have to keep track of my formerly internal organs. I always worry what will happen if I lose track of one."
"Since when have you worried about anything?" Stuffy pointed out.
"Okay, speculated," Deadpool admitted. "I mean, would I just grow it back? Would the missing organ regenerate into a complete Deadpool separate from me? Or would it be drawn by my healing factor to hunt me down, day after day, until it eventually found me, strangled me in my sleep, and then ripped me open so it could return to its proper home?"
Uncle Fuzzy looked rather sick at the end of that speculation. Noticing Chrysalis' wide eyed fascination with the story, however, he could only chuckle. "You're lucky your little girl is as crazy as you," he chided. "Otherwise you'd have traumatized her for life ages ago."
"I know!" Deadpool proclaimed happily. "But now I'm going to be Piccolo!" Grabbing hold of the edge of his costume, he yanked, creating an instant wardrobe change as his red and black costume turned to green, white, and purple, though retaining its usual configuration. "Ready to train, Chrysalis?" he demanded, managing to pull a rather decent Piccolo voice.
"Yes, Mister Daddy!" Chrysalis replied, doing a fair impression of Gohan.
Uncle Fuzzy groaned. "So who does that make me?" he asked. A turtle shell promptly attached itself to his back via a green glow. "...figures."
"And now, I will bring out your latent power by throwing you into a hill!" Deadpool proclaimed. "Well, I would if we had a hill or plateau handy. Traffic will have to do."
"Wait, what?" Uncle Fuzzy the turtle hermit demanded in shock.
"Dodge!" Deadpool shouted as he threw Chrysalis into traffic.
"Whee!" Chrysalis cried happily as she buzzed her wings, dodging around all the incoming cars and trucks at knee level like a demented ponification of a game of Frogger.
Deadpool and Uncle Fuzzy both stared as she evaded each and every vehicle with ease. "She's good," Deadpool said proudly.
"Look at her horn!" Uncle Fuzzy pointed out.
As she flew, Chrysalis' horn seemed to be vibrating every so often, and every time it did she made a sudden change of direction, just in time to avoid getting hit.
"She's reading air currents with her horn," Uncle Fuzzy pointed out, "and reacting to the oncoming rush of a vehicle without even being consciously aware of it."
"That's gonna be an advantage when I take her into battle," Deadpool said proudly.
"You don't think throwing her into traffic is all the training she needs, do you?" Uncle Fuzzy demanded incredulously.
"Course not!" Deadpool proclaimed as Chrysalis came in for landing in front of him. He then pulled out his machine guns. "Dodge!" He then opened fire.
30 seconds later, he had emptied both machine guns. Chrysalis hadn't been hit once. She also hadn't moved.
"...how?" Deadpool demanded.
"Let's watch that again in slow motion, shall we?" Deadpool said from the story description, dragging the story back for a fast replay.
"If you insist," Chrysalis said in her silky smooth voice which made Deadpool glad she was in her natural form.
Rewatching, Deadpool saw what Chrysalis had done. Her horn had been glowing, and she'd used her magic to gently nudge each and every bullet with the lightest push as it approached her so it would pass through an already existing hole. Rather than dodging the bullets, she had made the bullets dodge her.
"Amazing!" Deadpool proclaimed happily. "I gotta tell me so he can make use of it!"
"Yo! Story Deadpool! It's me, description Deadpool!"
Deadpool looked up. "Hey, wazzup!"
"Just wanted to let you know she used her magic to make the bullets dodge her! Have fun with that!"
With that, the even more blatant than usual fourth wall breaking came to an end as the Author's headache increased.
"Okay then!" Deadpool proclaimed, pulling out a rocket launcher. "Dodge this!" He fired it at point blank.
There was a clank, and Deadpool found himself staring at the rocket clutched between Chrysalis' teeth. "Hi I ho goo?" she asked around the rocket, her horn glowing as her teeth were surrounded by a green light.
Uncle Fuzzy waved his hand in front of Deadpool's face. "You alright Wade? You're looking kinda...frozen."
"That...is...awesome!" Deadpool proclaimed happily. "Toss that away and we'll try the next stage!"
Grinning, Chrysalis tossed the rocket into traffic, where the explosion collapsed the freeway.
"Now you get to try Uncle Fuzzy on for size!" Deadpool proclaimed happily. "You get to try to dodge the claws. Dodge!"
With that, Uncle Fuzzy lunged forward, claws flashing.
"Uh, Fuzz?" Deadpool asked. "You know you're supposed to attacking Chrysalis, right?"
Uncle Fuzzy stepped back from Deadpool's dismembered, disemboweled body in confusion. "Wha...how'd I mess that up?"
Chrysalis' horn stopped glowing as she started giggling.
SO... MUCH... HNNNGGGGG!!!!
I want to write a poem of this.
So hilarious when Chrysalis cheered while she was tossed
6003448 OMG! They killed New Dawn! U bast@rds!
If you can dodge an RPG, you're Jesus!
6003477
But I'm-
*headshot*
I'm the only here who gets to stay alive!
Wow those are better dodges than mine....
Chrisy is going to be a better merc that Dead Pool, and now that I think... She still need to train about Magical Attacks, right?
6003552
Any suggestions on trainers?
i cant stop laughing at the last lines.
6003489 And I'm the only one who can use one of those!!!
*DP turns around to see... The Blu Soldier!?!*
Now get your ass ready to taste the foot of America!!!!!!!!
*Aims RPG at DP's ass*
.......... if/when she gets back, things are going to be very funny.
6003555 Mr. Mysterio (Quentin Beck) could work for ilusions to help her, but the only wizard I can think is the Dr. Strange. I don't know any other wizards. After that other teachers could maybe be... Xavier could help her to protect her mind and "Chameleon" for disguise herself, maybe Kraven to learn how to survive in the wild and after that, maybe then she is ready to kill everything.
6003555 Galacta!
Yes! Yess... Comedy gold!
Dodgeball qoute, LOVE THAT MOVIE!!!
6003477 Then where's Kenny?
*Sees dried blood*
YOU B@ST@RD!!!
yay for demented, black humour
She didn't dodge Uncle Fuzzy, she just changed his target.
This and Batmare... those are definitely the best of your series
6003555 While not technically magic, I suggest the Scarlet Witch. Given that Wade breaks reality with a thought and is teaching Chrysalis that kind of mindset, and she's also getting enough love to boost her magic to similar levels, Miss Wanda "My Power Breaks the Universe" Maximoff seems like a good choice to me.
6003649
6003555 Mystique could also be a good trainer for impersonation, psychological manipulation (sometimes you have to rely on pure guile against a target that is immune to your powers or worse: can detect them) and general subterfuge (including impersonating yourself through a crowded building without being seen by the originals). Maybe also Iceman or another shapeshifter to teach her how to incorporate shapeshifting into melee and how to replicate different weapons and tools with her body - given her healing abilities, maybe even how to launch pieces of herself as projectiles and remote control them like drones.
I have never left this comment before, but...
MOAR!!!!!!!
6003825 just like the bullets, also for her controling uncle fuzzy is easy. remember?
I laughed, I enjoyed this chapter just like the rest.
I guess Chryssi's dodging skills are on... A hole other level.
I guess Chryssi... Goes with the flow.
Chryssi really is... Quite a mouthful.
Least we know how she can... Claw her way to victory.
6004033 *Punches you into the next chapter*
Enjoy the climb back up!
BITCH!
cant....stop.....laughing!!! rofl
Chryssie is awesome! Catching a rocket and dodging traffic is so cool.
6003555 Scarlet Witch and Dr. Strange come to mind.
*thinking of GoW pinkie vs. cryssi-pool*
This is the ultimate showdown, of ultimate crossover-ey...
6003555
I suggest that you could have Deadpool break the fourth wall, grab Celestia out of her castle, and make her teach Chrysalis.
6003555 The scarlet witch, and in return they sick deadpool on magneto
6004306 that would be hilarious
6003555 Doctor Strange, Scarlet Witch, The Vishanti - the supreme most beings of the mystic arts and is the patron of the Sorcerer Supreme himself.. they are the creators of the Book of the Vishanti, the greatest tome of white magic in existence..
Chthon - the supreme most being of the dark arts and creator of the very destructive Chaos Magic.. he is the author of the Darkhold, the greatest tome of black magic in existence which has caused so much evil throughout history..
Haha!
The more things change, the more they stay the same.
more i require this story isint that bad hell 10/10 my friend 10/10 by the way i review stories and this is just fantastic i hope for more chapters for this to come
i also caught reference when chrysalis just stood there while deadpool shot at her becuse he always get confused when they stand still becuse peopleoh fuck it im just lettin you know i get the reference that everyone probally got by now
oh pleas mercy XD I can't stop laughing and it starts to hurt XD
I am seriously at a lack of words from how awesome this is
6004955 I know right
Wolve-Roshi? Really?
I'd have pegged him more for Kami, given how Piccolo came from him and DP got healing from Jimmy.
Hey DP high five! Hey Chrysalis high hoof! Hey Fuzzy high clawohmygodmyhand!
Hey chrissi we got you a car, it's a DOGE!
Also wolverine as roshi
DOGEBALL!
6006504 its mostly Deadpool thats the problem, i find him more irritating than funny, just personal preference
6006522
That's exactly what I mean. You may find my characterization of Deadpool starting in the second chapter surprising.
6006553 maybe...maybe...right now im ready through another of ur works that happened to grab my attention...so with that said, Game Start, Player 1
6006567
LOVE IT! Have a new respect for Chrysi
This chapter is by far the dumbest, most insane, most asinine chapter in this entire fanfic, and I love it!