The following morning, Deadpool, Uncle Fuzzy, and Chrysalis walked down to the highway in preparation for Chrysalis' first training session. Chrysalis was bouncing happily from hoof to hoof, chanting "I'm gonna be like Da~ddy!" as she pranced. Deadpool couldn't help but grin at that, watching her joy at getting to join him in his activities. He then turned to his new brother. "So, how did you find out her super healing had come in?"
"She flew into traffic and got side swiped by a semi," Uncle Fuzzy explained. "Her two halves got up independent of each other, a green energy barrier keeping her innards from leaking out, and I helped her put herself back together."
"Wow! That's even better than mine!" Deadpool said happily. "I always have to keep track of my formerly internal organs. I always worry what will happen if I lose track of one."
"Since when have you worried about anything?" Stuffy pointed out.
"Okay, speculated," Deadpool admitted. "I mean, would I just grow it back? Would the missing organ regenerate into a complete Deadpool separate from me? Or would it be drawn by my healing factor to hunt me down, day after day, until it eventually found me, strangled me in my sleep, and then ripped me open so it could return to its proper home?"
Uncle Fuzzy looked rather sick at the end of that speculation. Noticing Chrysalis' wide eyed fascination with the story, however, he could only chuckle. "You're lucky your little girl is as crazy as you," he chided. "Otherwise you'd have traumatized her for life ages ago."
"I know!" Deadpool proclaimed happily. "But now I'm going to be Piccolo!" Grabbing hold of the edge of his costume, he yanked, creating an instant wardrobe change as his red and black costume turned to green, white, and purple, though retaining its usual configuration. "Ready to train, Chrysalis?" he demanded, managing to pull a rather decent Piccolo voice.
"Yes, Mister Daddy!" Chrysalis replied, doing a fair impression of Gohan.
Uncle Fuzzy groaned. "So who does that make me?" he asked. A turtle shell promptly attached itself to his back via a green glow. "...figures."
"And now, I will bring out your latent power by throwing you into a hill!" Deadpool proclaimed. "Well, I would if we had a hill or plateau handy. Traffic will have to do."
"Wait, what?" Uncle Fuzzy the turtle hermit demanded in shock.
"Dodge!" Deadpool shouted as he threw Chrysalis into traffic.
"Whee!" Chrysalis cried happily as she buzzed her wings, dodging around all the incoming cars and trucks at knee level like a demented ponification of a game of Frogger.
Deadpool and Uncle Fuzzy both stared as she evaded each and every vehicle with ease. "She's good," Deadpool said proudly.
"Look at her horn!" Uncle Fuzzy pointed out.
As she flew, Chrysalis' horn seemed to be vibrating every so often, and every time it did she made a sudden change of direction, just in time to avoid getting hit.
"She's reading air currents with her horn," Uncle Fuzzy pointed out, "and reacting to the oncoming rush of a vehicle without even being consciously aware of it."
"That's gonna be an advantage when I take her into battle," Deadpool said proudly.
"You don't think throwing her into traffic is all the training she needs, do you?" Uncle Fuzzy demanded incredulously.
"Course not!" Deadpool proclaimed as Chrysalis came in for landing in front of him. He then pulled out his machine guns. "Dodge!" He then opened fire.
30 seconds later, he had emptied both machine guns. Chrysalis hadn't been hit once. She also hadn't moved.
"...how?" Deadpool demanded.
"Let's watch that again in slow motion, shall we?" Deadpool said from the story description, dragging the story back for a fast replay.
"If you insist," Chrysalis said in her silky smooth voice which made Deadpool glad she was in her natural form.
Rewatching, Deadpool saw what Chrysalis had done. Her horn had been glowing, and she'd used her magic to gently nudge each and every bullet with the lightest push as it approached her so it would pass through an already existing hole. Rather than dodging the bullets, she had made the bullets dodge her.
"Amazing!" Deadpool proclaimed happily. "I gotta tell me so he can make use of it!"
"Yo! Story Deadpool! It's me, description Deadpool!"
Deadpool looked up. "Hey, wazzup!"
"Just wanted to let you know she used her magic to make the bullets dodge her! Have fun with that!"
With that, the even more blatant than usual fourth wall breaking came to an end as the Author's headache increased.
"Okay then!" Deadpool proclaimed, pulling out a rocket launcher. "Dodge this!" He fired it at point blank.
There was a clank, and Deadpool found himself staring at the rocket clutched between Chrysalis' teeth. "Hi I ho goo?" she asked around the rocket, her horn glowing as her teeth were surrounded by a green light.
Uncle Fuzzy waved his hand in front of Deadpool's face. "You alright Wade? You're looking kinda...frozen."
"That...is...awesome!" Deadpool proclaimed happily. "Toss that away and we'll try the next stage!"
Grinning, Chrysalis tossed the rocket into traffic, where the explosion collapsed the freeway.
"Now you get to try Uncle Fuzzy on for size!" Deadpool proclaimed happily. "You get to try to dodge the claws. Dodge!"
With that, Uncle Fuzzy lunged forward, claws flashing.
"Uh, Fuzz?" Deadpool asked. "You know you're supposed to attacking Chrysalis, right?"
Uncle Fuzzy stepped back from Deadpool's dismembered, disemboweled body in confusion. "Wha...how'd I mess that up?"
Chrysalis' horn stopped glowing as she started giggling.