//------------------------------// // Conquest is Shiny // Story: The Merc With the Moth // by Tatsurou //------------------------------// It wasn't easy to see for those not familiar with her habits, but Princess Celestia was worried as she sat upon her throne in Canterlot. Recent events had given her ample reason to worry. Just over a week ago, she had been having tea with Fluttershy and Discord, hearing about Discord's progress in learning about Friendship. Suddenly without warning, Discord had started wriggling, much like he did when he sensed a magical imbalance. However, it went on and on until he eventually exploded. After reassembling himself, he'd said, "Not touching that. Vacation time!" seized Fluttershy, and vanished into his chaos dimension, metaphorically locking the door behind him. Celestia hadn't been able to contact him to get any more of an explanation than that. Not long after that, she received reports of unusual Changeling activity. Changelings had been seen marching down every road in Equestria towards the border to the Badlands, not even bothering to disguise themselves. When confronted by ordinary ponies, they would smile and wave. When confronted by guards, they would laugh wickedly...and if pressed, would cite Equestria's own laws twisted all out of sense in a way that compelled the guards to let them pass. It was hardly the Guard's fault that nopony below a Lieutenant was expected to have the Laws of Equestria memorized. And then there was last night. Celestia had expected to talk with Luna before she raised the moon, the way they usually did. However, there was no sign of Luna anywhere in the palace. Celestia would have been more worried - to the point of abject panic - if not for two things. First, the moon raised in a timely manner without her interference. Second, Luna's personal schedule showed no royal appointments that night. It wasn't uncommon for Luna to vacate the palace to enjoy herself on nights where she had nothing scheduled, although usually she at least would meet for a meal and let Celestia know where she was going. After talking with some of her Guard, Celestia came to the conclusion that perhaps Luna had vacated in secret for a clandestine meeting with somepony special. It had been a while for the Lunar Princess, so it wasn't beyond the realm of possibility. As such, Celestia had been well prepared to be a good sister and catch Luna sneaking back in to torment her mercilessly about her clandestine meeting and press for details. And then the moon had lowered, and there was still no sign of Luna. That was where Celestia was now, worried about everything going on in the world and her own sister as she desperately tried to distract herself with paperwork. Which was why she greeted the Guardspony who came bursting through the doors of the throne room with far less than her usual amicability and enthusiasm. Great, she thought to herself. Bad news. "Your Highness!" the Guard shouted out. "The Changelings are invading!" "What?" Celestia demanded, shooting to her hooves. "How far have they gotten? How many of our citizens have they taken? Why haven't they been stopped?" The Guard swallowed. "They're marching up the streets of Canterlot to the Palace. We've erected shield spells to try and stop them, but they just pull out markers, draw doors on the shields, and open them to continue their march!" ...wat? Celestia though to herself in disbelief. That sounded like something Pinkie would do...or possibly Discord. "And...they haven't hurt or killed anypony yet," the Guard continued. "They've focused their magic into a massive plow they push in front of them, forcing civilian and Guardspony alike to the side as they march. They seem determined to reach the Palace at full strength." The Guard shivered. "Also, the vanguard of the Changelings is...different." Celestia sat down. "Different how?" she asked. "Well...there are about 100 Changelings that are...bigger than you are, Your Highness. Their chitin is armor plated, and they seem far more disciplined than the rest of the horde." The Guard swallowed. "Also with them is a bipedal creature in red and black, another in dark green, and...a horse walking on two legs." "What?" Celestia blurted out, that last bit more than her mind could handle. "They're here!" another Guard shouted out. As the shout faded, the doors burst open again. The described vanguard marched in, the woman in green in the lead. Celestia recognized humans when she saw them, even as strange as these were. However, she also recognized the magical aura of the one in front. "You!" she gasped out, lunging to her hooves. "Get off my throne," Chrysalis barked out. Celestia bridled at her tone. "You dare-" "We haven't killed anypony...yet," Chrysalis pointed out. Suddenly, the entire gathered swarm flared their magic, making Celestia shiver. The combined power of the swarm just now dwarfed anything she'd be able to bring to bear...and with Discord in his Chaos Dimension with Fluttershy, he and Rainbow Power were unavailable. And Luna also was unavailable to assist. Simply put, Celestia recognized that she was so severely outclassed in raw magical power that any defense she could raise could be crushed instantly. "Do you want that to change?" Chrysalis asked, referring to her earlier statement. Shivering, Celestia climbed off the throne. Smirking, Chrysalis stalked past her and forced Celestia onto her belly. Sitting on the throne, Chrysalis then rested her feet on Celestia's back, turning her into a glorified footrest. "My kingdom now," she stated bluntly. "Someone bring me something sweet to eat!" "Your maid is a-comin', Honeybunch," the bipedal stallion stated, his metal parts shining in the light of the throne room. A young Changeling - barely more than a toddler - leapt from his shoulder to grip Celestia's mane, chewing on it as the child struggled to climb. "Your sweets, Your Majesty." That familiar voice pulled Celestia out of her focus on the Changeling eating her hair. Turning, her jaw dropped at what she saw. Luna! she demanded telepathically. What are you doing? Serving Queen Chrysalis a treat while wearing a rather embarrassing maid outfit, Luna replied in the same manner. Celestia's mouth worked as she struggled to make sense of Luna's calm reply. ...why? Because the human in red and black has the power to manipulate narrative causality in the world he's a part of, and Chrysalis has fed enough off of him to possess the same power, meaning there's nothing you or I can do to combat them. Celestia's face twisted slightly, as though she'd bitten into something distasteful but didn't want to give offense by saying so. So...just give in? More or less, Luna explained. Neither of them have much of an attention span. Just make conquest boring, and they'll chase after some other shiny thing within a week. And if that doesn't work? I've already implemented a plan I have neither thought about nor discussed anywhere so they have no way of perceiving it before it is implemented. "Oh, she's good," the red and black human commented to the cyborg stallion, who looked totally confused by the statement. "Not as good as these cupcakes!" Chrysalis moaned, licking the crumbs of the confection from her lips and cheeks. "I want to meet the baker who made these." "Of course, Your Majesty," Luna replied. "She wants to meet you as well." She then threw herself to the floor. A flaming sword on the end of a long chain flew over Luna's head, embedding itself in Chrysalis' torso right between her breasts. "Chrysi!" the red and black human called out. "NOOOOOOOOOO-" Blinking, Chrysalis looked down at the blade protruding from her chest and slowly pulled it out, staring at the blade as the wound sealed itself up. "-OOOoh yeah, I forgot you had my healing factor for a minute there," the human finished. The chain jerked, tugging the blade from Chrysalis' hands and sending it flying back through the throne room...to a pink pony with three other such blades equipped, the chains wrapped around her four legs. "Pinkie Pie?" the human demanded. "Wait...but that's that Pinkie Pie! How's she here? The Author said no same universes except in certain specific cases, and this wasn't one of them!" ...Author? Celestia thought in confusion. "It's why I allowed myself to be captured once I sensed you had arrived, Deadpool," Luna explained. "I knew that if you had affected Chrysalis, we'd be powerless against her. Getting captured let me get close enough to you to use my magic to manipulate your ability to break into other dimensions conditionally in order to bring somepony who could match Chrysalis as she was now." She jerked her head at the Spartan Pinkie. "She is who arrived." "You can do that?' Deadpool asked. "Wait, I can do that? How powerful are you? How powerful am I?" He posed dramatically. "I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS!" "I didn't know if it would work until I tried it," Luna admitted. Deadpool grinned widely through his mask. "And that is why you're best Princess, Luna." "What?" Celestia and Luna asked, Luna flustered and Celestia confused. "Sun-butt's a chessmaster, those are boring," Deadpool began. "Love-butt's almost Disney levels of fairy tale, gag me. Twilight's neurotic. But you're the anti-hero on the redemption arc. You're awesome! You're my favorite!" He then whipped out a foot tall figurine of Luna in one of her more dramatic poses, carved out of dark blue Tanzanite. Luna could not suppress the blush that rose at such praise. On the throne, Chrysalis chuckled wickedly. "This is going to be fun." An hour later, Pinkie and Chrysalis were still fighting. The amassed Changeling hordes were in a circle to watch. Deadpool sat with ShiShi in his lap, Thirty-Thirty and Discord to his left, and Luna and Celestia to his right. They watched with varying degrees of fascination, awe, or terror, depending on the pony. One of the horse Changelings kept bringing them snacks, everything from popcorn and soda to hot dogs, hamburgers, salads, and other such things. "You will not be able to best me, Pink One!" Chrysalis proclaimed. "I can regenerate from any wound, and so long as I have my father's love, my magic is infinite!" "And I have the Urns of Gaia and Olympus equipped and active!" Pinkie replied. "The blessings of the Gods and Titans make my health and magic power infinite!" Chrysalis rolled her eyes. "We'll be at this all day." "Fun, isn't it?" Pinkie called back. Chrysalis' answering grin was absolutely vicious. Deadpool grinned widely as he watched the battle. "Go get her, Chrysi!" he called out, cheering. "You know, Wade," Stuffy spoke up, "I'm a bit surprised you aren't getting more involved in this. Even without anything in the chapter title saying 'Epilogue', it's plain this is the last chapter of the story, the denouement. Ending the story with a bang. How come you aren't out there hogging the spotlight?" "Because it's not my story," Deadpool replied easily, devouring another hot dog. "...Come again?" Stuffy asked. "I know I just did!" Cray-Chry called out. Chuckling, Deadpool continued. "This isn't my story," he explained. "It never was. I may have played a major role...but from the day she arrived, this has been Chrysi's story. It's about her, not me. This spotlight is hers." He sighed softly. "That's what being a parent is all about." Silence greeted that statement for a time. "...wow, Wade," Stuffy said at last. "That's...really mature of you. Maybe you're starting to grow up-" Deadpool leapt to his feet. "Chimichangas for everyone!" he shouted at the top of his voice. In moments, the entirety of Canterlot was buried under a mountain of chimichangas. "...I stand corrected," Stuffy muttered as many began eating their way out. "Oh, cherry flavor!" Luna called out eagerly. "So does that make them Chimicherries, or Cherrychangas?" Pinkie asked.