"Ponykind must have run out of colours when they finally got to this pony. Everything from his mane to his ass was all seven colours of gloom and doom. He was so dark and brooding he probably ate glittery emos and shat vampire bats.” - Quote of the Week

1000 years the ponies have prayed for a saviour to deliver them, whether it was their long lost sun goddess Celestia, or even Nightmare Moon, maybe even the chaos lord Discord, anypony! After suffering under the yoke of a tyrant god for so long, they decided any saviour will do, even a dark demonic overlord. One unicorn sorceress finally decides to take matters into her own hooves. She sets out to the frozen ruins of a long lost Empire in the Crystal Mountains bearing a grand sacrifice of 1000 ponies in an attempt to summon the dark demonic overlord of the Crystal Empire.

When the dark ritual turned up a blank, the universe decides to shuffle in the next best thing. Will he rise up to the expectations of his newfound flock? He'd better, and quickly, for the tyrant god's inquisition is out to get him and the 1000 'blasphemers' involved in his summoning. With a nation to build and an evil tyrant god to fight, never has there been a taller order to fill. But it's alright, he's a dark demonic overlord, right? He quickly finds that with some smokes and mirrors and the help of 1000 very magical ponies, anyone can look the part, even an entirely magic-inert pizza delivery dude.

Now a long-haul fic! Many thanks to everyone who convinced me to make this a reality!

Many many thanks to the Editing team, Dumbgamer99, Not A Hat, and Brad The Brony. Be sure to thank them by checking out their pages!

Our lovable number one overdude assistant, Crystal Heart, now has a musical theme, aptly titled 'Dual Core A.I.', kindly provided by AdmiralTigerclaw! Epic now comes in an entirely new flavour! Many thanks!

Somebody kindly messaged me and told me I should announce here that the story was featured from 27 - 30th of April. I completely missed that but many thanks for making that possible, everyone!

Cover Art: Placeholder drawn by me. Will be a background for a full cover at some point.

This story is a sequel to The Definitive Guide to Pony Anatomy - Starring Princess Celestia and Princess Luna

[img]http://i.imgur.com/NtX01an.png[/img]

'Do not trust an alicorn who weighs any less than her operating manual' - Author of this Guide

Sometimes your alicorn throws a temper tantrum and runs around the house turning off all the lights while declaring herself a new breed of adorable evilness. Sometimes sibling squabbles leave you with a tearful alicorn refusing to raise the moon and allow the day to end. Keep calm and read this guide. This guide will walk you through how to safely contain evil dark pony overlords using readily available household implements such as the humble cardboard box. And if all else fails, it will at least help you make effective use of the astrophysics of alicorn anatomy to manually override the raising, lowering and general joyriding of various celestial bodies.

Published by the Royal Canterlot Publishing House for the Royal Equestrian Diplomatic Mission to Earth. For human audiences only. No alicorns (or humans) were harmed in the making of this guide.

Contains: Princess Luna being generally mischievous and adorable for Hearthswarming Eve. Also contains cardboard. Surprisingly does not contain any bubblewrap for once.

This is a standalone story, but it does sort of have a 'previous episode' you can read here. Reading it is not required to enjoy this particular story, but it's a fun short read in its own right.

Sort of my Christmas fic. I decided to get it done early as I'll be working this Christmas. Again. Happy Hearthswarming, everyone!

This story contains 100% saturated sugar. Exposure may induce diabetes.

Once upon a time there were three filly sisters. They were a unicorn, a thestral and a changeling, but that was perfectly normal. They had also adopted a human for a father, which they thought was awesomely normal. Their lives seemed perfect, but their father felt there might be room for more; A mother's touch, perhaps? Enter the slightly accidental but otherwise perfect nannies, Luna, Cadence and Celestia...uh...Dark Side, Sweet Heart and Sunrise Splendour. Though the question remains; Will these three successfully infiltrate their little family and achieve their top secret mission bring the much-needed maternal touch, or will they end up a victim to the fillies' devious matchmaking schemes?

Well, it would have helped if the three nannies didn't lose their memories on their first day, for a start.

Written to the sound of BlackGryphon's Cutie Mark Crusader Theme Are We There Yet and Taking Off

Cover Art: I swear this began as me doodling a bowl of sugar.

This story is a sequel to New Beginnings

Human turned Unicorn Blank Page is finally settling down in his new form and home and life is returning to normal. What a normal life is however might be relative, especially when you suddenly changed species, are living in the castle, dating a god-princess and is followed around by changelings.

Warning: Contains enough slice of life to make a entire cake of life.

Continuation can be found here: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/332488/consequences

AN// All the thanks to people over at Spacebattles.com for helping me beta.

AN2// Many thanks to mix-up for the coverart. His user page can be found here: http://www.fimfiction.net/user/mix-up and the deviant art page can be found here:http://amalgamzaku.deviantart.com/

Daniel Habbuck, UN ambassador to Equestria, hates his job.

Sure it pays well, but it's hardly worth having to put up with flank-kissing politicians and the stomach twisting anxiety of knowing that he represents all of humanity.
One night, after a particularly tense meeting leaves him wound up, Daniel is desperate for somepony to talk to. With his friends either busy or too far away, he hires a batpony prostitute, just so he can have some company.

As he soon learns, there's much more to this streetwalker than meets the eye...

Rated T for sexual references, but no clop.

Special thanks to WingmanRed, Georg, and Kraken Hatchling for proofreading and editing

EDIT: Special, special thanks to Comrade Pony for the suggestions
EDIT: Deleted cover art.

This story is a sequel to The Mare of the Night

It's been six months since Starlight Nightflier, batpony prostitute, was hired to be the conversation partner of UN ambassador Daniel Habbuck. Since then, she's gained a new job, a new home, and a new future for her beloved son.

But that's not enough for Starlight. She wants to be more than just a friend to Daniel. Much more. But something's holding her back. Something from her past that refuses to die...

A collaboration between moi and Comrade_Pony

Special thanks to AidenHeaven, HolyStreak, KG472, zxzxzxzxzx24, and NarlepoaxIII for proofreading and editing!

Cover image source: Link

'What is it about humans that urges them seek out so many endeavors in order to feed their desires? Greed, power, family, friends, philosophy, knowledge; infinite goals and infinite reasons behind them. Whoever or whatever created these beings are either cunning; to create self motivating creatures that will constantly push the limits of what's possible, or downright cruel; never truly allowing them to feel true fulfillment or satisfaction. The point is humans were created with a void, a missing piece left intentionally empty never to be filled, an undying hunger.'

A bit grim right? The names Rodney, and in case you're wondering, this is the story of my life. A life of Magic, Gods, and regrettably, Ponies. Yeah, freakin-multi-techno-collored-goody-ponies.
But it's not all bad really, got way healthier with a more green diet. Though the lack of meat can be painful at times, that one landed me in less than desired situations. I get to screw with innocent ponies on a regular basis. Didn't kill myself or everyone else with me either. So not a bad deal really, even ended up retiring as teacher.

Teen for language and some adult themes.
This takes place before season 3.

HIATUS: Currently at a programmer's boot camp. Will be done late June 2015.

AN: If you can see past my cruddy writing skills there's plenty to tickle your funny bones, I hope. First attempt at writing a fic.

This story is a sequel to Twilight Hears The Narrator

After her odd encounter with the mysterious entity, Twilight has grown rather accustomed to living with the voice of a narrator following her life. Although she still doesn't understand his presence, she has begun to accept him as a friend. But the confusion only grows, as the Narrator finds himself following the stories of other ponies. And Twilight will soon learn that she is not the only one who can hear the voice of the handsome, talented, witty, charming, manly gentlecolt yours truly!

Have you ever heard strange voices in your head? Have you ever felt like your life is being observed or controlled by some omnipotent being? Twilight Sparkle has, and it's driving her up a wall; the FOURTH wall! Watch the hilarity ensue as Twilight hears the soothingly manly voice of yours truly!

Princess Neon Boom goes to Ponyville to check out Twilight's new pad. But while she's there, Prince Neon Bass escapes from Tartarus and challenges her to a DJ Battle!

Can the Psy-Trance Princess protect her title from the Dubstep Demon?

Edited by Cerulean Voice!