Chapter 32
I stared at Luna. “...You are kidding.”
She giggled. “I'm not! There Celestia was, standing before the entire council of lords, completely covered with whipped cream and the first thing that she said was 'I thought this wasn't until tonight!”
I just had to laugh at that mental image. “When was this?”
“Oh, some three thousand years ago.” Luna chuckled. “It was during one of her more 'serious leader' periods. Figured I would make her lighten up some.”
Chuckling, I grinned. “How did that work?” I asked as I picked my spoon up and took a sip from the rich soup.
“Oh no.” Luna said with a grinned back. “Ah, she relaxed again after another couple of years. Honestly, looking back at it, I could see why she was so tense, the political climate at the time wasn't the best. A lot of tension with the griffons back then. Still, there is such a thing as overdoing it.”
Nodding, I took a piece of bread. I'm so glad I'm not involved in the entire politics thing. For one thing, it seemed very... boring.
I would also be too nervous of making a mistake.
Scooping up some soup, I glanced down at it only to see a big yellow eye floating in the middle of the spoon, staring up at me.
“Uagh!” I cried out and scrambled back, sending the spoon flying across the room.
“Page!?” Luna exclaimed as the eye stopped in the middle of the air and a giant brush materialized, trailing along lines and then filling in colors until it had created Discord.
“Ah! Loony and Monkey! How nice to finally meet you in person!” He exclaimed, spreading his mismatched arms. “I am so sorry I have not visited before but I have been busy. Obligations, you know.”
Luna got up from her chair, her wings spreading as she glared at him. “Discord.”
“Don't be like that!” He said with a grin and flashed out of view only to poke his head out of her mane, slithering up to curl around her horn. “I missed you. Celly is fun to tease but you were always the more chaotic one.”
She just glared up at him until he flashed out of view, appearing next to me, his arm around the back of my shoulders.
“And you, Monkey! You, you are interesting! My, my, what a chaotic mind. You would fit right in. You and I should be best friends!”
I looked at the powerful chaos spirit and did the only think I could think of out of hoof: I hit it in the nose as hard as I could. What can I say, I panicked!
Hell, if worked for Sisko.
He actually rocked back and let go of me, teleporting a couple of meters away. “You hit me!”
“Get over here and I'll do it again.” I snarled at him. “Do you have any idea what you did last time you got lose? I want nothing to do with you. So fuck off and go bother somepony else.”
Discord snorted, looking quite amused before he disappeared again to lean against Luna. “Really? That one? You could do much better than Monkey boy over there.”
"Begone, Discord. Go back to from whence you thou camest." Luna ordered him, turning to look at him, "We do not desire thine presence. We find thee annoying and a nuisance. If we had our way, thou wouldst be stone still."
He gave her an annoyed look. “I thought it was all about friendship now? Friendship is magic, is it not?”
“It is.” Luna agreed. "It is, but we can still choose who our friends are. If thou seekest somepony to pester, mine sister is in the southern wing."
“...Now I remember why I preferred Celestia.” Discord grumbled and disappeared in a flash.
Getting my heart under control, I looked around. Everything seemed like before. What in all the fucks just happened?
...Did I just punch a chaos god in the face?
Bloody Hell. I felt my blood chill at the very idea.
“Luna.” I finally said and looked over at her.
She looked highly annoyed, her hair slowly starting to move slower as she refolded her wings. “Yes, my Page?”
“The way you ordered him away? Kind of hot.”
Luna stared at me for a long moment before she giggled. “Was it?” she asked and smiled.
“Mhmm.” I confirmed before I sighed and shook my head. “What was she thinking, releasing him?”
“That he might be useful.” Luna said and frowned. “And she might still be right. Discord was being annoying, not dangerous or malicious. It is quite possible that he might still be... reformed. As evidenced by the fact that the world is still normal.”
“It might be part of some long term plan.” I pointed out as I straightened my chair again. I gave my soup a suspicious look and in the end decided to ignore it in favor of grabbing some more of that bread.
That earned me a snort from the Princess. “Long term plan? Discord?”
...She might have a point there.
“Even so, I don't like it.” I said after a moment, scraping a hoof on the stone floor. “If he keeps himself under some degree of what might generously be called control, it may be much to be worth it. But that's a big if.”
“Perhaps. As with most things, time will tell.”
“Mmm.” I agreed with a nod before I frowned. “...Did you just sic Discord at your sister?”
“She released him, she can deal with him. Besides, he does seem relatively harmless at this point.”
Point.
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Using Discord on
is so much win.
Punching higher beings in the face always worked for TD, right? Heh. Also, now I have this image of Celestia covered in whipped cream and I've got the strangest... um.
"Begone, Discord. Go back to from whence you thou camest. We do not desire thine presence. We find thee annoying and a nuisance. If we had our way, thou wouldst be stone still."
"It is, but we can still choose who our friends are. If thou seekest somepony to pester, mine sister is in the southern wing."
If you're going to do the whole Ye Olde Englishe thing, at least do it right.
So totally worth it to stay up to read this
6853974 This is a good spot
6853978 Well, at least they tried. Personally, I find it hard to do myself, and I've had a hard time to find any guidelines. So I personally just let Luna speak like every one else does. Same for Applejack's and Applebloom's accents. It's something that isn't always easy as a writer to invest time into. I'm only doing it in one of my stories, but it's because it's a collaborating story with another author, and that they do it in theirs.
6853992
I suppose I can understand your point there. It might just be more noticeable to me because that whole Olde Englishe grammar is very similar to modern German grammar - every single wrong pronoun ends up sticking out to me like a sore thumb without me even really looking for it. It has turned into something of a pet peeve of mine - everyone uses it, but nobody ever uses it well. It just ends up looking so sloppy.
6853978 Thank you, adjusted. :)
6854017
Glad to help.
6854010 I know exactly how that is, have a few people I know that are butchering the Swedish language, including my parents. (We're from Russia, my parents moved to Sweden before my birth, so I'm basically a native, while they are not.)
6854038
I can relate there. I've got a lot of quasi-Polish ancestry on my mother's side.
loose
6854063 Ootah chootah, Solo? That would make sense. I wonder what tribe his new super-spy character is gonna be.
Indeed...
Nice chapter, good work.
FORESHADOWING
hum a interesting chapter.
Obligatory.
Poor Discord only wanted to say hi and Page hit him? at least they could have give him a chance, really
6854041 I SEE YOU EVERYWHERE!!!! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!!!!
6855031
What makes you think you aren't actually in mine?
When Page hears how Fluttershy 'tamed' Discord, he'll likely make a Janeway comparison.
Well, I seems that in this story the Princesses are not just over 1000, but many thousands of years old. Maybe this was mentioned before, but I must have missed it.
orig05.deviantart.net/927f/f/2016/020/f/d/page_and_discord_by_sipioc-d9op8lf.jpg
I was really looking forward to this scene!
I wonder if word will get around that Page throat punched Discord. He would get such respect!!!
You reference DS9 a lot. I like you.
Still not 100% right on the Luna-speak. “Thine” and “mine” as adjectives go only before words starting in a vowel sound, the same way “an” works. Technically, “whence” means “from where”, so “from whence” is redundant, though this rule is broken so often that it’s basically optional.
Here’s the strict rewrite, fixing only the clear problems:
“Begone, Discord. Go back to whence thou camest.” “We do not desire thy presence.” “If thou seekest somepony to pester, my sister is in the southern wing.”
Beyond that, I’d reword a few other things for style reasons:
“Begone, Discord. Return whence thou camest." Luna ordered him, turning to look at him, "We desire not thy presence. We find thee annoying and a nuisance. Had we our way, thou wouldst be stone still."
“It is.” Luna agreed. "It is, but we can yet choose our friends. If thou seekest somepony to pester, my sister is in the southern wing.”
(Forming negations and questions with “do” is a relatively late addition to English, apparently borrowed from the Celtic languages. The archic way is to add “not” somewhere after the verb: “We desire it.” -> “We desire it not.”; “Pester us.” -> “Pester us not.”; “Go to Canterlot.” -> “Go not to Canterlot.” (It is a silly place.
)
Similarly, questions are formed by inversion: “Thou comest here often.” -> “Comest thou here often?”)
See Thou, Thee, and Archaic Grammar for more information.
I'm surprised at his reaction to Discord. In the previous story, he connected him by voice to Q. And then shortly after was considering writing Star Trek as his next story. Seems like he would want to talk to Discord to find out what the connection was.
WAIT Wait wait wait...! In an earlier chapter Luna said that the first reliable calendars were created 3000 years earlier. So ponies had whipped cream before they had calendars?...
These ponies have their priorities straight
(Now I want to see 'Whipped cream' as one of the first research options in Civilization 6...)
"You hit me? Celestia never hit me!"
That's all I could think in that scene.
John De-Lancie is fantastic.
7917843
Ahh yes, an accidental "did I just punch out Cthulhu?" Go Blank Page!
My thoughts exactly.
7299968 To be fair, last time he "interacted" with Discord he was traumatized by house plants and cotton candy.
I'm not an expert on olde english, but I don't think you need "thou" and "you" next to eachother in the same sentence. In fact, I don't think "you" was even a word back then. Someone correct me if I'm wrong.
6945211
Your comment gets an upvote simply because of the surprise Monty Python reference. Also, it was fairly informative. Also Monty Python. All the Monty Python.
You know, as much as I dislike defending Tia's more boneheaded moves...given how most of the characters treated him(however justified...) is it any wonder he turned on them with Tirek?
6853974
Alucard: "Ah, return of the Why Boner."
9098466
WITH A VENGEANCE.
6945211
I am soooooo going to abuse the ye olde speak.
6853986
WAIT, THAT'S Q?!?!?!! HOLEH HORSEAPPLES, HE SOUNDS LIKE DISCORD!! Wait..........=.=
6855393
In the first story(I think?), he asks her just exactly how old she is, and she says something along the lines of very old and over 5000 but not entirely sure cuz of calender changes........
Key Word:
"Relatively"
I had to read that line several times over before I realized that it said "soup" and not "soap"
You know, thrill seekers, or people wanting to know how others feel, Discord could be a rather big boon and popular if he concentrated to being productive.
10334880
Discord can literally do anything a mortal can imagine, only with a twist
Maybe a changeling wants to be a pony instead? Snap, but you're now an alicorn in the middle of Canterlot, with dark magic written all around you.
A village is dry and needs water? Snap, with a hint of orange juice.
Want to visit the moon? Snap, and oops, seems like your friends are along for the ride.
You want to swim with sharks? Snap, don't let them bite your seapony fins~
Discord can be the richest creature alive in a few years if he were to take requests at 50 bits per individual.
Time for a prankwar?
10956272
*Nods* time for a prankwar
Them words are exact opposites of each other
11027058
Plundervines. It happens. By accident, apparently, but it does. :D
11065609
Not by accident. Discord IS a chessmaster. At least, WAS. He knows everything(except if he is blocked by magic throne). He knew the Elements were(where it all began) in the book. He faked being sick to troll(in the bad way) Twilight when Cadance was coming over. He was surprised(but not really) that plundervines didn't surface earlier. He's a compulsive LIAR. He is DISharmony. Still don't understand how people think he can be reformed. Spirit of Chaos doesn't do Order. Not because of his likes or anything. Because he LITERALLY can't.
11191682
Actually have you ever heard him tell a fib. He will misdirect someone like he did with the maze. But he never outright lies.
11317507
A lie of omission is just as bad if not worse. In fact if you can consistently do so by redirecting the conversation it just means you're a better liar and a worse person to most.
Punching Discord was really not smart.
👍
But Page already confess to not being the smartest.
But he sure has brass balls
11023497
Discord, Celestia, Luna, Blank Page... This is where the fun begins!
if *it worked for Sisko