> The Human's Guide to Raising Fillies - Unicorn, Bat Filly and Changeling Edition > by Pen Mightier > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Welcome to the Three Little Fillies Cafe! > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- A Unicorn, a Changeling and a Bat Filly and the Baker ~1st Serving~ Welcome to the Three Little Fillies Cafe! A soft jingle filled the sunlit cafe as the wide windowed door swung open with an aged but gentle creak. Warm sunlight danced across the bright white curtains billowing in the cool salty sea breeze. The sweet aroma of freshly baked delights mixed with the musk of the ocean-aged wood that made up most of the bakery. The wide open parquet floor was punctuated by counters laden by mouth-watering temptations of every colour and shape. The light tippy-tap of a set of little hooves against the wooden counter by the window punctuated the tranquil silence. "Welcome to the Three Little Fillies Cafe! Where the cakes are sweetie, the tea's milky and the smiles cheery, always!" A cheerful little voice squeaked. A tiny pair of lilac leathery bat wings flared excitedly as its little owner pranced up to meet her guests. She tossed her lovingly groomed silky violet mane about her fluffy ears to reveal her big golden harlequin eyes. "I am your wait-rest today, Lulu!" She raised a forehoof to gesture at the frilly white apron she wore over her miniature pistachio-green sweater and white skirt. "And these are my temp-tay-shuns for the day!" The little filly gestured at the wide selection of colourful cakes and sweets stacked on the counter around her. "Psst, the mango fruit tarts are mine. I made the bat-ter myself. I'll bat you my allowance they're the best in town, always. But don't tell anypony else. The whole town would bat-tle over them. It's our little secret." She said in a low whisper, giving a big bat of an eyelid conspiringly. The soft whir of a well-oiled pair of wheels came from the till counter across the cafe. A small voice cleared is throat carefully before speaking out. "Lulu, I told you to please keep your bat puns out of the cafe." It sighed as its owner pushed her tiny pair of glasses up her little muzzle allowing it to glint in the soft sunlight. "Please excuse my younger sister, dear guest. She goes batty over bat puns." The little filly pulled herself onto a little platform overlooking the till, waving a hoof at her customers over her bright wavy apple-russet mane. "Welcome, I am your barista, Tia. Hmmm, yes, today is your lucky day, dear guests. You're our 70th customer today which means you get a cup of coffee on the house for every cake you purchase. Isn't that simply grand?" "Allow me to show you our selection of cakes. We have a lot of the Old World delights such as the Cloudsdale cloud cake, the Ponyville apple pie and even the Gryphonian tiramisu." She pushed herself out from behind the till onto a platform overlooking the formidable buffet of tasty sweets by the till. She glided over the platform on a little red wheelchair upon which her rearhooves rested. Little bells jingled on her forehooves as they propelled her forwards. Her creamy marshmallow coat shone as it caught the sun behind the counter. "I would personally suggest the pride of our bakery, our apple cheesecakes. Made with your lucky colours of the day, apple red and creamy yellow." She said, pointing down at a selection of cheesecakes. "Made by me, of course, so they're extra lucky." She added with a proud smile as she whipped out a pencil from behind one ear with a hoof. "Please take your time and let me know when you're ready to order." She leaned in and gave a little whisper, "Your lucky number today is four, by the way. So I suggest you take four of every order." A little plastic cup on a string dropped down from the ceiling. "Um, hello?" An uncertain little voice came from within. "Oh, hello, w-welcome. Cadie's your chef today, sort of." The string led up to a dark little blob clinging onto the ceiling. A pair of bright sapphire eyes gleamed down from underneath a bouquet of bright ocean-blue mane topped by a big wooly kitty-eared cap. A cute little changeling badge pinned into the cap identified her as a changeling filly. But even without the badge it was quite apparent from the heart-shaped horn protruding from her wooly cap and the little heart and star-shaped recesses in her hooves, reminiscent of cookie cutters. Her armoured carapace and wings, however, were obscured by a white sundress under her frilly white apron, both of which somehow defied gravity. She gave a nervous upside down smile as she whispered into the little white cup in her hooves, "Um, the cookies are really nice. They're all sorts of cute shapes. Please try some if you like. C-Cadie made them. *Squee*" She gave a bashful little ponysquee as her cheeks burned a bright red. "Oh, aren't they simply adorable, ma'am?" The first guest, a human lady in a smart white business dress and blazer, said, looking absolutely smitten. "Lucky you decided to stop by on the way to the meeting." "I cannot help but agree, yes. On both accounts." The other guest, a tall, majestic white unicorn in a similar white business dress, nodded in agreement, her brilliant violet eyes twinkling with obvious pleasure. Her lustrous mane and tail gleamed in the colours of the sunrise, sky blue and light pink, billowing gently in the gentle breeze inside the cafe. "Lulu, was it?" She beamed down at the little thestral filly standing atop the counter next to her. "You're a thestral, are you not?" "Yep! The strongest, fastest fes-chal ever, always! Daddy says so, so it's true!" Lulu said proudly, prancing about in a little circle in demonstration. The little bells clasped to the sash about her withers jingled merrily as she did. "I'm so strong and fast that I've already been accepted by the Earth All-eye-ants Dee-Fence Force's Wonderbolts Team!" "Visiting the airbase to deliver cakes doesn't mean you've been accepted, Lulu." Tia sighed. "Please excuse my little sister. She has a very overactive imagination." "You're just jealous cause I'm going to defend daddy's beloved Earth from Night-Falls one day." Lulu nodded sagely to herself. This earned her an eye-roll from Tia. "You wouldn't rather do what you're doing now? You're really good at it." The woman said. "First rule of the Filly Scout Code, love your family, always." Lulu said, verbatim. "Looking after daddy is my duty. Of course I'm good at it, always." She crossed her forehooves and nodded proudly. "You sure are." The unicorn nodded with a genuine smile. "It's Cadie's duty too." A little voice from the plastic cup in the woman's hand said. "Cadie loves daddy more than anything, even cookies. But don't tell the cookies, please? They're big softies, sometimes." She whispered. The unicorn gave a light giggle at this. "Since your sister has already told us her dream, what would you like to do when you grow up, Cadie?" She asked, beaming with interest. "Um, it's nothing special. Nothing as exciting as protecting earth." Cadie said, fidgeting uneasily where she clung to the ceiling, the bells clasped to the ribbon about her neck jingling lightly. "It's a wonderful dream, Cadie." Tia said, almost reproachfully. "Go on, tell them." "Yeah, best dream ever!" Lulu had somehow trotted upside down onto the ceiling, joining her sister. Cadie, shrinking a little under all the attention, gave a little squeak, "Well, um, Cadie wants to be a gondolier." She twiddled her hooves together. "So Cadie can one day give daddy free rides around town, maybe." "And the best gondola Aria singer ever, always. Can't forget that." Lulu pointed out. "Cadie's the best singer in town, hooves down." She declared, proudly, causing her sister to blush profusely. "She works at it really hard. She's even an apprentice to the local gondolier's guild." Tia said, sharing her sister's pride. "That is a perfect dream." The unicorn said with a nod of approval. "I am sure you will be the best gondolier ever." She turned her attention to Tia who had resumed her place behind the till. "And you, young one?" "Nothing special." Tia said, pushing her glasses up her muzzle, "As fortune would have it I'm the eldest. Looking after those two will always be my job." She huffed. "And daddy too." She added with a quirk of an eyebrow. "I've worked out my fortunes. I can't join the Forces, obviously." She gestured at her wheelchair. "But I can certainly run a gondolier company. That's my dream." She nodded to herself. "Tia's a worry-wart. She just can't help herself." Lulu giggled, dropping down from the ceiling with a flutter of her wings, landing in a snuggle on Tia's back. Tia gave a little yelp, aiming a fierce glare at her younger sister, but otherwise did not complain. "W-we worry about Tia too." Cadie said, dropping down from the ceiling behind Lulu on, of all things, a bright green miniature parachute fashioned out of a little changeling cocoon she had shot out from her forehooves. She drifted down gently before adding herself to the snuggle pile forming behind the till. "Because Tia doesn't worry enough about herself. But don't tell Tia that." She whispered. "I heard that, you know." Tia sighed, rolling her eyes. "Sorry for the display, dear guests." She cleared her throat before straightening up as best as she can under her sisters' snuggle pile. "What can I get you?" She asked, struggling to dislodge her giggling sisters. "Oh, right, I almost forgot why we were even here." The woman giggled cheerfully. "It's so sweet I feel like I already ate half the store." "Indeed. One could argue that simply walking in here soothes all aching sweet tooths." The unicorn smiled, "But I may have room for a banana muffin." She added. The sudden downcast expression on all three fillies prompted her to backpedal quickly, "Oh, uh, and four of each of your suggestions, seeing as four is my lucky number today. And four coffees. To go, please." All three fillies smiled brightly again, ears perking up excitedly as they got to work gathering the orders. "So, your daddy is the baker here?" The woman asked, curiously, as she watched the three sisters bustle about their respective treats. "Yep, the bestest baker ever, always!" Lulu grinned, catapulting the cakes across the cafe with a skilful whip of her cake spatula. "It's Neo Veneighzia's little secret." Cadie said, folding up cake boxes before catching the flying cakes in them with expert precision. "Worst kept secret." She giggled. "Also a bit of a mad tinkerer." Tia said, expertly wrangling the rather old coffee-making monstrosity at the back of the cafe, turning dials and knobs while eyeing the thermometer carefully. "No coffee machine in the world will make you better coffee. At least while I'm behind the wheel." She gave it an expert punch with a forehoof in a corner, making it give an obedient little rattle. "And he made our clothes too." Lulu planted her cake spatula on the counter and twirled herself about it to show off her frilly apron and clothes. "Aren't they pretty?" "They're gorgeous. All of them." The unicorn said, earning herself beaming smiles from all three fillies. "So, he looks after you three quite well, does he?" "Yes. Officially." Tia said, a little smirk playing across her face as she pushed the coffees across to the till. "Um, we're sort of the ones looking after him." Cadie whispered, "But, um, please don't tell him that." She gave a soft giggle at the thought. "Yes, we kind of adopted Daddy." Tia said, bells on her forehooves jingling as she ran them quickly across an abacus before she tapped the buttons on the till. "That'll be 12 dollars, please." "He's helpless by himself so we took him in." Lulu grinned, gliding over to the till to drop off some napkins. There was a loud muffled crash somewhere inside the store. A few clangs and light tinkling sounds followed, trailed by a few random tinks and plings. A can of mangoes rolled out of an open door, rolling gently across the cafe floor, before coming to a stop against the woman's foot. "Uh, Girls? Help?" A muffled voice called from somewhere deep inside the cafe. "Daddy's locked himself in the storeroom again." The voice said pleadingly. "Speaking of." Tia sighed, shaking her head. "Hang in there, daddy! We're on our way!" Lulu called out. "How are we going to get him out today?" Cadie asked, "Cadie would rather we don't try the flour cannon again, if that's alright?" "We'll wing it!" Lulu declared, leaping off the counter with a flutter of her wings. "Fillies! It's time to bring out the Little Busters Bat-tering ram!" Tia could only face-hoof at the barrage of horrible bat puns as she wheeled herself after her excitable sister. "Please excuse us. Duty calls. Thank you for coming, dear guests. Have a lucky day." "Y-yes, please come again." Cadie said, waving a hoof at the guests, before running after her sisters. "W-wait for me!" The two customers were left alone in the cafe. They looked at one another before stifling little giggles of amusement. With a burst of golden magic the unicorn levitated their purchases and turned to leave. They paused to listen curiously as a chorus of voices came from deep inside the store. "Cadie, the sugar goes this way up. I think 1200 newtons of force should do the trick." "Um, okay. How long should the fuse be?" "Fire in the hoooole!" "Girls, w-what are you all d-doing?" "Nothing, daddy. I've always wanted to say that, that's all." "Girls, what did I tell you about playing with that thing in the house?" "Not without you around, Daddy. Well, you're here, so...." "W-wait! At least let me get clear of the door first! Whoah!" There was a loud WHOOOOMPH. A big cloud of what was hopefully only flour burst forth from the door leading into the interiors of the cafe. What looked like glitter and possibly confetti seemed to be mixed in too. The two guests shared a look, silently agreeing to pretend they didn't see anything, before quickly making their way out. The two walked out into the bright afternoon sunlight just in time to be greeted by a pleasant gust of sea air. The caws of a passing flock of seagulls punctuated the otherwise tranquil sound of the waves in the distance. Their footsteps creaked across the sea-aged wood as they walked along the little wooden jetty to which the bakery was moored. There, waiting for them, was a sleek blue gondola bearing two other pony passengers and its pony gondolier. "Thou tooketh thy sweet time in yonder sweets parlour." One passenger, a royal blue unicorn wearing a smart black business suit, said, crossing her forehooves impatiently. "Doth thou not pity thy poor pudgy flanks, Tia sister?" She demanded, tossing her billowing starlit midnight blue mane over her shoulder. "I'm afraid our gondolier's suggestion was frightfully spot on, Lulu dear." The white unicorn said, nodding over at the azure unicorn standing at the aft end of the gondola. "As Ms. Colgate rightly said, there are more sweets in this bakery beyond the cakes and pastries themselves." "Did you find the inspiration you needed, your highness?" The gondolier, Colgate, asked with a knowing smile as she lit up her horn. Her trusty gondola paddle, bathed in her sea-blue magic, rose up to her side. "Very much so." The white unicorn nodded as she took her seat opposite the midnight blue unicorn. "I am now reminded of what it is we are fighting to protect." "The earth?" The midnight blue unicorn raised an eyebrow dryly. "The future, dear sister." The white unicorn smiled up at the sky. Above a flight of weather pegasi flew by towards the pegasus weather station cloud tethered by anchoring cables over the little town. "A very beautiful, sweet little future. And what I've seen makes me believe all the more that change is possible." "It sounds like thou had quite the experience then, Tia." The midnight blue unicorn perked up with interest. "Considering what we hath seen in our lives, I am surprised anything could be so new and profound as to move thee so." "I saw something we would never have imagined possible in the Old World." The white unicorn said. "Unification of the three tribes alone was already quite difficult. But I just witnessed a unicorn, a thestral and a changeling call each other sister." "Ho, almost sounds like the opening to a jest. A unicorn, a thestral and a changeling walking into a bakery and so on." The midnight blue unicorn chuckled lightly. "Yes. I would have been accused of jesting if I told anypony in the Old World. But here they are, brought together by their human father." The white unicorn seemed thoughtful for a moment. "Such is the power of humanity. Their ability to bring about change, for better or worse, is almost...frightening." She said, watching a pegasus mail mare fly by, stopping to hand a parcel to an eldery fisherman sitting on a nearby jetty. "Hear hear, sister. But thy story doth give me faith in that power." The midnight blue unicorn said. watching as an earth pony and a human skilfully maneuvered a two-man gondola past them. "Perhaps we may learn more from them after all, that we may secure a better future together." "More importantly, I hope the future involves lunch. Hopefully not all bananas or derivatives thereof." The other passenger, a pink unicorn dressed all in smart dark velvety purple, finally spoke up. "It's still a long way to the airbase." "Forsooth, thou did insist on the gondola ride." The midnight blue unicorn muttered. "Ms. Colgate, if you please? Let us make a move." The gondolier happily obliged as she pushed the gondola off into the cool shimmering waters. "Yes on both accounts. I was threatened at tear point to purchase everything in the store." The white unicorn chuckled, setting out her sizeable haul. "By Starswirl's beard. How frightful these weaponized tears are to force the great Tia to forsake the sanctity of her flabby flanks!" The midnight blue unicorn gasped, eyes widening at the sight of the sprawl before her. "It's true. You should've seen it. Their faces could move entire mountains with diabetes." The human woman said. "And the frightful part is, I cannot wait to return." "Neither can I." The white unicorn said. "I wish nothing more than to see more of this little miracle." "Then you're in luck." The pink unicorn said, pointing at a sign hung next to the bakery's door. 'Hiring a Nanny. Please inquire inside.' It said. "Something to consider, certainly." The white unicorn said, tapping her chin with a hoof thoughtfully. "And for that you get the favourable share of our loot today. Enjoy...Cadie." "Cadie?" The pink unicorn broke into a little giggle. "Now, where in the Old World did that come from?" > Bat-Time Snuggles! > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- A Unicorn, a Changeling and a Bat Filly and the Baker ~2nd Serving~ Bat-Time Snuggles!! The Baker's a simple man. So simple in fact that most remember him only by his profession, the 'Baker'. Simple defined everything about him from his messy permanent bed-hair, his approach to life, all the way to the warm pink pajamas his daughters had given him last Christmas. He is a man of simple pleasures. So simple in fact that one of his greatest pleasures in life was his daily evening routine. "Cocoa." He said, reading off a mental check list. "Check." His eldest daughter, a young unicorn filly, said from where she sat on the living room coffee table, hugging an empty mug, drained of its warm creamy cocoa. "Sleepy." He said, quickly kneeling to wipe off the marshmallow cream moustache from the little unicorn's muzzle, much to her chagrin. "Cheeeeck..." His youngest daughter, little changeling filly perched comfortably on his shoulder, tucked comfortably into the nook of his neck, murmured sleepily. This earned her a gentle petting on her kitty-cap to which she cooed happily in reply. "Luna." He looked around. "Anyone?" The warm, cozy little living room was stubbornly thestral-less. "Lulu's missing." Tia sighed, rolling her eyes. "Again." "Where is that filly?" Baker sighed at the absence of his second eldest daughter. Being naturally nocturnal, the little thestral was the most difficult to get to bed at night. "Um, Cadie'll find her, daddy." Cadie yawned widely. "Uh, Cadie's sure there's no way Lulu can sneak up on us, Cadie thinks." She said, raising her voice just a thimble over her usual whisper. "3...2..." Tia counted down until her sister bit on the bait. "1." Chomp... Chew....chew....chew... Baker suddenly had a little thestral filly biting him affectionately in the neck, stubby little fangs barely tickling his skin. 'Love-Nibbles', a show of affection surprisingly common to both changelings and thestrals, or so the few books on the two races had taught him. He turned his head this way and that, confirming to his own satisfaction that the little thestral was quite securely anchored to his neck. Yes, filly cannot be removed. "Lulu, check." Tia said, crossing her hooves with a sigh. She gave a sudden squeak as Baker leaned down to scoop the last of his daughters from her wheel-chair. "W-wait, d-daddy! I..." She quietened down as she was cradled against his bosom as he began to make his way for the stairs. "F-fine, i-it's not like I like this or anything..." She muttered into his soft warm pajamas as she snuggled up closer for safety. Baker shouldered open the door into his daughters' safe little sanctuary, the bakery's largest bedroom. "Night light mode." He called out. The wall lamps and night lights lit up to a warm, cozy glow, just enough to illuminate the star-studded ceiling and various sparkly galaxy-and-planet mobiles hanging from above. The night sky above melted away into the wall murals of sceneries from the Old World. These were interrupted along one wall by large wall-length windows looking out onto a balcony overlooking the canal sparkling under the moonlight below. A lone stargazing telescope stood watch in the darkness outside. He tiptoed over Lulu's Elements of Harmony action figures lying about on the ground, carefully avoiding tripping on Cadie's foal-sized gondola paddle before navigating the maze of book towers that marked Tia's domain. "So, pajamas. Who first?" He said, looking about for his daughter's onesies. "A bit of a no brainer, daddy." The ever put-upon Tia sighed from the comfort of his arms. "You've got a point. I think Cadence fell asleep with the parking brakes on." Her father said, finding his lightly snoozing changeling daughter's grip on his shoulder and neck was stronger than a gondolier's paddle-grip. "As for Luna..." The filly occupying the other side of his neck spoke for itself. Nibbling intensified. "Thank you for volunteering, Celestia." He summed up. "Mmmph." Tia had somehow magically produced her fluffy strawberry-pink bunny-rabbit onesie in her muzzle, holding it up for him. He took the onesie in one hand and skilfully slid Tia's rearhooves into the rearhoof sleeves as he deposited her on her soft pink bed. "Hooves up, like you're cheering." Baker said. Tia could only roll her eyes at the childish request but obediently raised her forehooves to allow him to slip the forehoof sleeves on. "Yay." Tia monotoned as her father zipped her onesie up securely. "Now, your turn, Luna." Baker said, looking to his second daughter....only to find his shoulder suddenly thestral-less once more. "Luna?" "I win! Lulu one, bat-jamas zero!" He heard the little filly declare her victory from somewhere behind him. He turned to find her rolled over on her back on her bouncy black bed, little hooves in the air, her Wonderbolt onesie stuck over her eyes. "This is me winging, always!" She declared defiantly, hooves flailing at thin air. Baker couldn't help but wince at the awful bat puns. He had decided it must be somehow built into bat pony genetics, denying all guilt on his part. "I'd hate to see you losing, sister." Tia sighed, hoof in her face. "Is it? Let me check this alleged victory." Baker said, picking up the giggling filly. "I don't see your hooves in the air, champ." He coaxed as he righted the filly and eased her rearhooves into her onesie. "Too cool for old school, always." Lulu giggled at her father's ticklish handling. "E-eeeeee!" She gave a screech of laughter as her father found a particularly ticklish spot at the base of her wings. "O-okay! Okay! Y-you get to win too!" She gasped, raising her hooves for him. "How generous." Her father said, slipping her small leathery bat wings through their holes and adjusting the onesie's hood around her big fluffy ears. "Now, try and keep that on at least half the night." "Armour on. Bat-tle ready." Lulu nodded to herself. "Tia! Pillow fi-..." Her battle cry was cut short by a flying pillow to the face. "Be quiet and go to sleep." Tia, living pillow cannon, huffed at her downed sister, pushing up her glasses up her muzzle. "What shall we do about your sister?" Baker asked, pointing at the sleeping changeling still fastened to his shoulder like a cute and furry limpet. "We need to get her into bed somehow." "Put yourself in her bed with her." The ever pragmatic Tia suggested. Her father paused for a moment, seemingly considering the suggestion. "That works." He shrugged, before flopping onto his daughter's big cerulean blue bed and pulling the fluffy blanket on. "There, she's in her bed." He nodded to himself, satisfied. "Wait, there's one problem with this plan, Celestia." He added. "I'm kind of stuck here." "I see no problem with this." Tia had somehow materialized on his chest, poking her head out to peer at him from beneath the blanket. "I see one problem. I'm not in that bat." Lulu's muffled voice said. "There, problem solved." She said, somehow magically appearing beside Tia from under the blanket. "Eeeee~" She gave a happy little screech as she snuggled up against her father. "What am I going to do with you three?" Baker sighed, shaking his head. "I know! I know! bat time snuggle!" Lulu giggled. "Fine. You asked for it." Her father wrapped his arms around all three of them and pulled them all into a tight snuggle under the blanket, earning him a chorus of giggles and one sleepy purr. They settled quickly, reveling in the warmth and comfort of the happy little world underneath blanket. It was a while before the sound of soft, quiet breathing filled the room. The young father sighed softly as he slowly, gently dislodged the three fillies off himself before rolling off the bed. With practiced precision he tucked all three into the same bed before planting soft kisses on their foreheads. Then, with almost tactical stealthiness, he snuck out of the peaceful sanctuary as quietly as a shadow. It was a quick step across the corridor back to his own room. "I feel like I forgot something." Baker paused at his door. He gave it a moment's thought before finally shrugging and retreating into his own room. Barely a moment later the door to his daughters' bedroom slowly creaked open, revealing three little pairs of eyes, all gleaming with mischief in the dark. The night was still young after all. > Operation 'Awesome-Special-Somebody-For-Daddy-And-Mommy-For-Us-AKA-Shooting-Star' > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- A Unicorn, a Changeling and a Bat Filly and the Baker ~3rd Serving~ Operation 'Awesome-Special-Somebody-For-Daddy-And-Mommy-For-Us-AKA-Shooting-Star' "Alright, I call this meeting of the Little Busters Brigade to...umm...shuffle? Sushi? Oh, I know, fuu-sion!" Super-Commander Lulu declared with a commanding hoof in the air. "Is that right?" She threw a sidelong glance at Slightly-Less-Super-Commander Tia, subtly seeking her approval. "Session." Senior-Chairmare Tia corrected as she fixed her glasses and hoofed the meeting agenda over to Sub-Chairmare Lulu. "Yeah, that too." Mega-Commander Lulu gave her approval as she looked down at the agenda carefully laid out in colour-coded crayon. "Is this supposed to be a duck?" She asked, raising an eyebrow. "Sshh, daddy might wake up." High-Chairmare Tia warned, softly, as she turned the pile of papers in Lulu's hooves the right way around. "Ooooh...." Ultra-Commander Lulu nodded understandingly at the agenda, "Uh, Tia, it still looks like a duck." Supreme-Chairmare Tia decided to reply with a prompt hoof to the face, carefully aiming for her own, overcoming the temptation to rattle her sister's skull through sheer force of will alone. "It says 'Operation Special-Somebody-For-Daddy-And-Mommy-For-Us'." She read out for her sister. "That's a very long duck, Tia." Awesome-Commander Lulu frowned, "I thought we were gonna call it something awesome, like 'Operation Awesome'." "My name has exactly 45 letters and 17 syllables, a lucky combination." Tia argued, crossing her forehooves. "Mine is awesome-er." Lulu gave her watertight argument. "Cadie?" They both turned to their resident tie-breaker, the Also-Commander/Equally-Chairmare Cadie. "Mmmmm....Cadie can't eat anymore shooting stars...." The little changeling mumbled sleepily from where she was curled up around the baking whisk holding up the roof of their ultra top secret headquarters, otherwise known as Lulu's blanket. "Operation Shooting Star sounds good." Lulu conceded. "All in favour say 'aye'." Tia motioned, raising her own hoof into the air. "Eye?" Lulu asked. "*mimblewimble*" Cadie agreed sleepily. "Motion passed." Tia nodded in satisfaction. "Where?" Lulu looked around, trotting round and round slowly in place in search of these 'motions'. "Going back to the minutes of our last meeting, we agreed that daddy spends all his time either working in the bakery or being looked after by us. He barely has time for himself, let alone a special somebody." Tia went on, "We adopted daddy, so we're responsible for looking after him. That includes finding him a special somebody." She nodded sagely, mostly to herself. "And get ourselves a mommy too. Just like Dinky did last week!" Lulu did a little tippy-hoof dance on the bed, her bat wings fluttering excitedly. "Ms. Ditzy is such a nice mommy. Dinky and Mr. Hooves are so lucky...." Tia sighed, enviously. "That's why we're doing this, right?" Lulu grinned, "So we can be like Dinky and have a mommy too." "Cadie wants a mommyyyy...." Cadie mumbled in her sleep. "We are not selfish mares." Tia asserted, pushing her glasses up her muzzle, "We are doing this so Daddy will have somebody special to love him." "But....we love Daddy lots, don't we?" Lulu frowned, cocking her head to one side in deep thought. "I mean, Lulu loves Daddy about thiiiiiiiiis much." The little thestral stretched her forehooves out as far as she could in an effort to very exactly quantify her love. Unfortunately her love was so infinitely vast that her forehooves failed to contain it, causing her to flop over to one side onto the soft bed they had gathered on. "But it's not the same. Daddy needs another grownup to love him." Tia argued, "I read this in a book, so it must be right." "So, where do we start looking for one?" Lulu asked, picking herself up. "Cadie, wake up. Plans. We need them!" She shook her changeling sister awake. "Mmm...a mommy? Mmm....If we can get a mommy seed, we can plant it in the garden." Cadie suggested, dreamily, "Cadie will water her everyday and..." "We can just trot into one of those 'mother and child' stores and pick one up, right?" Lulu suggested, "I saw one with a big sale. That's a good thing, right?" "The pay-for ones are no good, the books say so." Tia said, firmly, "We'll need to find one out in the wild." She tapped a forehoof on her chin thoughtfully. "Out in the wild? You mean, we're gonna go raiding some lost temple for mommies? Like Daring Doo?" Lulu gasped breathlessly, "Well, except for the mommies bit. Daring Doo isn't that awesome." "Well, we don't have to look that far. There are mommies all around us." Tia pointed out, "I would love to finally have someone to help me with my homework..." She sighed, wistfully. "I wanna have someone who'd take me out to play catch and fetch!" Lulu's ears and tail twitched excitedly. "And does good ear-scratches!" "And belly rubs. N-not that I like them o-or anything! It's just a basic s-standard, that's all!" Tia blurted. "Someone who would read Cadie bedtime stories...and sing her...to sleep..." Cadie was already swaying sleepily from her imaginary mother's lullabies. "Wait, doesn't Daddy already do all that?" Lulu quickly pointed out. "And Daddy's really good at all that too." "That's true." Tia tapped her chin thoughtfully, "Well, I for one would like someone....somepony even, who could teach me magic." "Oooh! Somepony who could teach me how to fly! Like a Wonderbolt!" Lulu's wings fluttered in excitement. "Somepony who could teach Cadie how to eat shooting stars...." Cadie sighed, wistfully. Her sisters stared at her, then at each other, before shrugging. 'Yes, that sounds good too', they agreed silently. "So it has to be a pony then." Tia nodded. "So where do we find one then?" Lulu raised the most pertinent question. "The books say Daddy's true special somebody is already in his heart." Tia nodded, sagely. "He must simply follow his heart to find her." "Um, but...Daddy can hardly find the grocery store without us though." Cadie pointed out, sleepily. "True." Tia sighed. "Well then, plan B. It'll be like Hanzel and Grettel." "We bake a giant gingerbread house?" Cadie asked, dreamily, "Can it be cookies instead? Cadie's good at cookies. Hmm, chewy marshmallow cookies..." "And then ovens! And then 'Fuwaaaaaaafu', instant mommy time!" Lulu declared, smacking her forehooves together. "What in heavens is 'Fuwaafu'?" Tia's eyebrow twitched. "It's my 'awesome' sound, always." Lulu said, matter-of-factly. "Right." In a show of sisterly wisdom, Tia carefully ignored that and carried on, "What I meant was, we lure a mare in here with our amazing sweets. Mares love sweets." "And then 'Fuwaaaaaafu'!" Lulu smacked her forehooves together again. "Yes, you do that, whatever that is." Tia sighed, wearily. "Anything else? Cadie?" "Munyuuuu....munyuuuu...." The little changeling supplied in her sleep. The baking whisk she had been holding up to support their headquarters' roof slowly slid out of her sleepy grasp. With a soft and gentle whomp their roof collapsed, bringing their super top secret headquarters down with it. Three filly-esque shapes under the blanket squirmed a little. "Told you we should've had the top secret meeting inside my boop box." The thestral-shaped lump finally said. > The Mommy Hunt Begins! > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ~4th Serving~ The Mommy Hunt Begins There was a faint rustle.   He stiffened, quickly killing the torch mounted on his rifle as he lowered his posture closer to the scorched earth. He peered into the darkness, interspersed by the skeletal silhouettes of the ruins around him. As he knelt down in the wet ash he felt his knee crunch something hard. He looked down and made out the object by the pale light of the moon alone.   It was a photograph, one of a little family of earth ponies, all smiling happily at the camera. For a brief moment he couldn't help but wonder where the family had gone by then, seeing as his battalion had evacuated the last of the civilians over two weeks before. A combination of adrenaline and combat discipline pulled his mind back to his immediate situation.   For a moment he thought it was probably just the wind. Quite mild for a breeze, considering the weather had long gone feral after the local pegasi stopped tending it. But then the faint rustle came again, this time with the air perfectly still.   He reached up to the coms strapped to his shoulder, ready to signal for backup, as he squinted into the darkness for any signs of movement. He silently cursed himself for going so far ahead of his squadron on their routine patrol.   Then he heard another sound.   It was a faint sniffle.   He frowned, slowly turning towards the source. It was a small, sodden upturned toybox, fashioned into the form of a treasure box, lying on a pile of burnt debris.   The sniffle turned into a faint mewling.   There was a panicked 'shush'. But the mewling only grew louder in response.   Relaxing somewhat, he turned on his field lamp and crept closer to the toybox. Then, with the gentlest voice he could muster, he called out, "Hello there."   The weak mewling grew louder. There was another frantic 'shush', broken up a stiffled sniffle.   "It's alright, you're safe." He said, gently. Stowing his rifle by his side, he reached out and gently tipped the box away from him, mostly to make sure its contents don't run away in the other direction. His breath caught as he found what lay underneath.   A large pair of defiantly bright green orbs scowled up at him. It was a little cream-coated unicorn filly, her coat blackened by soot and caked with mud. Her eyes, determined as they were, were unfocused, even as she glared up at him. It surprised him how she managed that much with her lower body trapped painfully under a pile of debris. But what struck him most were her forehooves, protectively shielding two other shivering little figures. The minuscule leathery lilac bat wings on one identified it as a little thestral. The other, however, had the chitinous fur identifying her as a changeling, a race he had only ever heard of.   The little unicorn gritted her teeth. Her tiny horn flickered feebly in the dark, spitting out dim sparkles at him. Even as she strained she continued to glower defiantly at him, as if determined to stare him down through sheer force of will alone.   "It's alright." He repeated gently, raising both his hands up in a gesture of peace. The little unicorn's glare settled into a little frown, her horn dimming somewhat. She did not relax in her defence of the other two, however. "You're safe now." He said, as he reached out a hand.   Before he knew it something had barrelled into his hand. He pulled it away reflexively but whatever it was had clamped on with all the strength of a vice. He looked down to find the little thestral struggling to gnaw its way through his glove. She snarled and growled, glaring up at him with bold golden eyes that glowed fiercely in the dark, even as the rest of her body trembled in obvious terror.   There was a soft hiss. He looked down to find another little figure, this one obviously the little changeling, standing protectively between him and the little unicorn. The little thing had planted her tiny hooves in the earth, quavering aquamarine eyes struggling to glare up at him through pools of tears.   His attention was interrupted by a harried-sounding voice crackling in his coms. "Commander, this is Rider Actual. Exfil enroute to your position in five. Pull your unit out of there now, over."   "This is rodeo one, solid copy." He said, using his free hand to hold the transmit button on his coms, "What's the situation, over?"   "Night-Fall incoming." The three words chilled his blood, his eyes immediately darting up into the sky, expecting it to open up and rain death on him there and then. The moonlit sky was, however, mercifully empty of doom and destruction. "ETA, fifteen minutes. You need to haul, sir. Over."   "Copy that, Rider. Out." He sighed, looking down at the three little foals. This was definitely not in the job description.     It was to a slow but gentle susurration of the breeze on the waves outside and the distant mewling of the seagulls that Baker slowly woke up. The bakery was flooded with light, the long curtains billowing in the wide windows glowing bright white in the sun. Everything looked almost alien after his dream as he struggled to blink the bleariness out of his eyes. He slowly straightened up out of the chair he had fallen asleep on behind the till. There was a loud thud as something slid off his chest and onto the hardwood floor below.   He frowned as he stooped down to pick it up. It was a well-read paperback, thick but well illustrated, one titled 'A Human Parenting Guide to Raising Equestrian Foals, Filly Edition'. He had thankfully marked the page he was on as he read, an old habit. He looked up at the empty bakery. After the crazed franticness of the lunchtime rush, the tranquillity was surreal. It was quiet, a peace that had only one possible explanation; 'Those three must still be out playing or hunting for their cutie marks', he thought. Which meant it was still before 4PM. Unruly as they were, they would never break curfew.   It would appear there wouldn't be many customers that afternoon. Just as well, considering he had sold most of his wares for the day. He decided to return to his other full time job and his one greatest pleasure in life. He leafed through the book back to where he was and began reading once more. He had been stuck on a particularly lengthy chapter, 'Your Filly and Single Parenting'. He found the page with the familiar photograph of the young man holding an exuberant-looking pegasus filly in his arms and scanned down to the last paragraph.   'Anytime after her 2nd year of life your filly will develop a sudden explosion in interest. She will begin to display great curiosity and an insatiable thirst for knowledge. She will follow you around closely, observing everything you do, even imitating your day to day activities. During this time she is very open to influences upon her development, particularly you, her parent figure. This is in part driven by her instinctual pursuit of her 'cutie mark' (refer to chapter 4, 'Your Filly's Cutie Mark').   'Foals raised by humans will attempt human-like behaviour such as standing and walking on two legs. Their inability to do so will quickly cause them frustration. On the other hand, they will be very slow to develop their pony characteristics; From subtle things such as tail and ear body language, cantering and galloping, to more profound things such as magic, flight and earth pony magic. This can quickly render them the target of bullying by their peers.'   "Bullies..." Baker bit his lip. "Are my girls being bullied?" He wondered out loud, scowling at the thought of his little girls quivering in the corner of some alleyway as the shadow of two hulking pony bullies loomed over them. His one-track mind ran through all the possible solutions, most of which somehow involved tactical nukes.   "But they never tell me when they're feeling troubled." He sighed, recalling how his little girls had heads that made walls look about as hard as cake batter. Much to the single parent's continued frustration the girls somehow took after him incredibly well including all the annoying bits. "Well, being the social-savy guy I am, I'll just ask them straight up." He nodded to himself. This was a lot of confidence coming from a guy whose many years of lonely bachelor living had caused him to develop a habit of talking to himself.   He maintains that he enjoys having intelligent conversations.   "For now, gotta help them get their cutie mark." The doting parent stretched luxuriously before eyeing the long list he had jotted up on a little notepad shoved into the back of the book. The header read 'Operation Cutie Mark'. He had crossed off everything from 'Staring' and 'Competitive Walking' down to 'Hoof Painting' and 'Stargazing'. He bit the end of his pencil as he eyed the next one on the list, frowning a little at the risks involved. 'Kite flying'. 'What if they fly off with the kite? What if they get struck by a freak lightning bolt?' He thought to himself, grimly.   Never mind that his little girls practically run the entire bakery in the morning and lunchtime rush, stopping only for school and their afternoon playtime. But don't tell him that. He'd only worry more.   "Maybe Lisa's right. Maybe I'm interfering a little too much." He considered his rather nosy supplier and friend's words of advice. "If only they had a mother..." he sighed, looking over at a photograph behind the till. It was a picture of a much younger Baker trying to wrestle with three little foals in his arms, all fighting over the same bottle of milk. "Well, Lisa did go into the trouble of putting out an ad for a nanny. It's been a month though and I haven't seen a single applicant." He frowned at the door, as if staring at it hard enough might embarrass it into giving up a potential nanny. "I wonder where all the nannies in the world are?"     "The play-date-tor has found her prey." A golden pair of bat eyes peered out from conveniently cut-out peep-holes in a cardboard box. "Pegasus, kinda big-ish, bright blue. The hunt begins~" She cackled to the sound of smacking lips.   "That's a stallion." There was a loud boop noise. The cardboard box shook violently. A few ponies and humans walking along the canal walk carefully gave the box a wide berth. The neighbourhood had been conditioned into avoiding random cardboard boxes, experience teaching them that such boxes could contain just about anything; Most commonly Cutie Mark Crusaders or Little Buster Brigaders. Either way cardboard boxes were always bad news, especially the ones marked 'Sugar Belle's Sweet Sugar Sprinkles', like this one.   "Ow! What was that boop for?!" A voice protested the violence, "He'd look just fine in a dress! Nobatty would know the difference." A brief silence followed. "Fine, we won't put the prey in a dress. Lucky prey."   "Oooh, oooh, Cadie sees a perfect mommy!" Cadie's voice trilled. Three big pairs of eyes quickly manned the box's starboard viewing port. They spotted the butter yellow pegasus flapping by, towing a boatload of little animals. "Look at all the cute little animal friends she has!" She drooled.   "She must be a really good cook, yep." The predator drooled in agreement. The third occupant of the box had to stand on her tippyhooves to avoid the growing pool of drool.   "Her cutie mark's three butterflies. I wonder what that means." Tia's voice wondered out loud.   "It means the play-date-or shall dine upon all the pun fuel, always!" The predator giggled menacingly.   The box shook violently to yet another loud booping noise.   The pegasus paused mid-flutter as she came across the bakery riverboat moored on the peer. "Look, she noticed the ad on the door!" Cadie squeaked excitedly. "She's coming in our direction. Oh, I hope she'll like us." The pegasus pulled her gondola over, mooring it carefully before landing on the riverboat's main deck.   "We're not letting this one get away!" Tia declared.   "Bat-tle stations, Little Busters!" The predator ordered. "Plan Awesome, go! On my mark...." The cardboard box tensed up. "One...." The pegasus trotted up to the front door. "Two..." She reached for the handle.   "NYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" A passionate if squeaky battle cry filled the air. The cardboard box was thrown open to reveal what could be cakes, if cakes sported stubby little legs, tails and ravenous grins.     "Nooooo! I'm sorry, I'll never eat cake agaaaaaaain!" The butter yellow pony squeaked, taking off in a flurry of feathers. Her little animal friends were left to unmoor their gondola and paddle frantically after her.   "Wait, come back, prey!" The peach shortcake cried out, running as fast as her little legs would carry her. "We won't put you in a dress, promise!"   "Perhaps we should have counted up to three," The strawberry cheesecake said, her wheels rolling to a stop, "Three is a much luckier number."   "But a lot can happen in one second," The peach shortcake argued, "You might think of another plan. I might get called away to save the world. And Cadie might eat her costume, again."   The blueberry muffin paused midway through nibbling her own frosting. She gave a sheepish pony-squee.   "I can definitely hear the crickets chirping for you to save the world." The cheesecake said, wheeling herself back to the box. "Alright, we're going with plan Bravo." She said, pushing her glasses up her strawberry.   "See what I mean?" the peach shortcake sighed, "And I worked really hard on my cake eem-prey-shun." She looked up at the changeling who had long since chewed through her own disguise and was clutching onto the peach shortcake, nibbling happily at her peachy toppings. "See? Cadie agrees with me, always."     Princess Celestia Sunrise Splendour was certain. She knew she had sensed it in that bakery, even if it was just a whiff. She wasn't sure whether the answer lay in the human or his three little daughters, but by the sun she would find out! Infiltrating the bakery would be simple enough, seeing as it had conveniently left her an opening; That ad for a nanny. While she must admit that in her many thousands of years of life in her youthful inexperience she had little practical experience with foals, she was confident that she would simply swim through the job. She once looked after not only an entire kingdom but an entire species. How difficult could three little fillies be?   The snow-white unicorn paused in her tracks as a boatload of little animals paddled along the canal next to her, chasing after a pegasus screaming about new cake overlords.   She frowned for a moment, looking out for any evil cake overlords that might be lurking about and terrorizing her ponies. Satisfied that the world was safely cakeless for the time being, she decided that it probably did not concern her and her important mission.   It didn't take her long to find the riverboat bakery where it was moored at the peer just opposite a wide open-air market square. Its polished finish gleamed bright white against the perfect blue sky. She could practically smell all the salt saturating the aged oak hull. It hadn't moved since she last visited, making her idly wonder whether the twin paddle-wheel engine was only for show.   She paused by the canalside to use the water as a mirror, quickly adjusting her long dawn pink mane into a humble ponytail. She wanted to make the right impression. She was going to a job interview after all. Happy with her simple but elegant new appearance, Sunrise Splendour hefted her bright white saddlebags and set out towards the riverboat.   Except there was already somepony else trotting up the gangway towards the bakery. She would have discounted the azure pegasus mare as a regular customer if it weren't for two things; The job ad sticking out of her dark blue saddlebags and that smirk on her face. She could recognize that smirk anywhere, even if it were hiding behind a telltale layer of chocolate frosting at the scene of a cake crime. 'Luna!' she thought, heatedly. 'Why is she here?! Could she...could she be after the same thing?!' She quickened her pace, almost racing her way up the gangway.   To her annoyance, the pegasus mare had stopped halfway up the gangway, effectively blocking her way. The pegasus tilted her head to one side, seemingly studying something. Sunrise stood up on her tippy-hooves, peering over her rival's withers at whatever it was she was looking down at. It was a muffin wrapping lying on the ground amidst a sprinkling of muffin crumbs. There was another further up, then another. Their gaze followed the trail of muffin wrappings until they found a bright pink changeling mare happily munching her way through a muffin trail.   'This must be part of the interview! And somepony's stealing a head start!' Sunrise thought, urgently. The pegasus mare must have thought the exact same thing as she quickened her pace. They stormed up the gangway, pressing and shoving against each other as they tried to catch up with the pink changeling.   The pink changeling's ears twitched as she heard their thunderous approach. She looked back to see a snow-white unicorn and a sky-blue pegasus racing towards her. She was about to demand answers when something caught her attention out of the corner of her eye. It was a double strawberry chiffon, slowly sliding its way across the riverboat's deck as if pulled along by an invisible puppeteer (or three). She saw the cake catch the eye of the other two mares too. An unspoken agreement was reached between the three, 'May the best mare win'.   They chased after the cake until both they and the cake ran out of the deck. The cake went on sliding along towards a cardboard box labelled 'Sugar Belle's Sweet Sugar Sprinkles'. The three ignored the 'Danger, handle with care' label on the box, opting to stalk the cake until it came to a stop.   "Target cake-wired!" They heard a voice whisper gleefully from within the box. "Three of them! We didn't even need the dresses!"   "Quick, Cadie, spring the trap!" A commanding little voice ordered.   "Um, aye, aye!" There was a loud whirr and a clank. A trapdoor suddenly dropped open on the deck, just two inches away from the three mares. The trapdoor swung to and fro with an awkward creak as the three mares looked between the hole in front of them and the cardboard box.   "We missed!" The commanding voice balked.   "Miss-shun failed!" The gleeful voice cried. "A-bat-don everything! It's every filly for herself!" The cardboard box suddenly sped away in full retreat. Except there was no more deck to retreat to. The three mares could only watch as the box ran over the edge and dropped down into the water below.   "Eeeeeeeeeeeeeep!" There was a loud splash. The three mares rushed to the edge to find a cardboard box bobbing sheepishly in the canal. Three stunned little fillies sat in the box.   "I told you, I told you, I bat the boop box floats, always" One cheered.   "Just our luck." One muttered.   "Um, Cadie thinks there's a leak. Um, or two. Or three. Or four." One squeaked. "Um, Cadie's run out of hooves to count."   "Oh no," Sunrise Splendour gritted her teeth. If she had taken a moment for calm, rational thought, she would have recalled that she is able to lift entire celestial bodies. Except she didn't, choosing instead to leap headlong after the three little fillies. Her two fellow mares appeared to have had the same idea, cannonballing after her. If she had taken a further moment for rational thought, she would have also remembered that she was unable to swim. Luckily for her, the water politely reminded her of this fact. Unluckily for her, it wasn't about to wait for her to learn how to swim.   "Glub!" From the flailing, splashing and general helpless drowning, it would appear her two fellow mares were as good at swimming as she was.   Just as she was about to disappear under the surface, she caught a glimpse of a tall giant dressed in white emerge on the deck. She might have imagined it, but she could have sworn the last thing she saw was the giant ripping its shirt off its chest before taking a graceful swan dive after them. > Is This a Mommy? > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ~5th Serving~ Is This a Mommy? It’s dangerous stuff, waking up. You never know what you might wake up to. In the case of this particular unicorn, she woke up to something soft and warm booping her on the nose. “Is this a mommy?” She heard a squeaky bashful little voice ask. “She smells like a mommy, maybe.” She felt her heart race. There was somepony out there. ‘Who could it be?’ Her survival instincts took over. Playing possum had served her well thus far. Maybe it’ll work a bit longer. “How would we know what a mommy smells like? We’ve never had a mommy.” The unicorn heard another voice, a very matter-of-fact one, point out. “Oh. Um. That’s true.” The squeaky little voice mumbled, sounding a little despondent. “But...Cadie thinks this is what a mommy would smell like if we had one, maybe.” ‘They sound...harmless?’ The unicorn thought, hopefully. “Damp fur and seaweed?” The matter-of-fact voice asked, skeptically. “Um, yes?” Squeaky whispered, sounding optimistic. “Well, we did catch her swimming in the canal, all fresh and stuffs.” A loud, brash voice pointed out. “You sure she was swimming? She looked like drowning to me.” She could practically hear the matter-of-fact voice frowning. “Maybe mommies don’t float?” “Um, she looked like she was doing her best, maybe?” Squeaky said, kindly. “At not floating?” Matter-of-fact said. “Well, Ms. Sugar Belle always said that it’s the un-fresh ones that float up, so at least we know she is fresh. Maybe this is what fresh mommies smell like?” Matter-of-fact seemed open to the possibility, at least. “Um, Daddy always said everything tastes sweeter and better when they’re fresh. And daddy is always right,” Squeaky said. “So you’re saying she might taste like a mommy?” Brash suggested. There was a brief pause. The unicorn began to worry that the voices were actually seriously considering this. ‘Uh, maybe they’re not so harmless?’ The unicorn thought, anxiously. She felt three little tongues lick her cheeks. ‘They are actually tasting her?!’ She thought, panic rising. “Um….” The unicorn heard Squeaky smack her lips thoughtfully at the taste, “Maybe Cadie can add some sugar and cinnamon? Maybe some mint?” Squeaky suggested, helpfully. ‘How kind.’ The unicorn thought, irritably. “I told you she’d be better in a dress, always,” Brash was quick to judge. ‘How is a dress meant to help?!’ The unicorn thought. “You can’t eat dresses,” Matter-of-fact pointed out. ‘So it’s alright to eat me?!’ The unicorn squeaked inwardly. “Um, maybe it’s like fresh quince? You need the right recipe and everything, maybe,” Squeaky suggested, her hope of a tasty unicorn not wavering in the slightest. “That’s it! We need a mommy recipe!” Brash exclaimed. “Told you we should’ve bat one at the mommy store, always!” “The pay-for ones are no good. Everything’s better homemade. Daddy says so, so it’s true,” Matter-Of-Fact argued. It turns out ‘daddy’ is the ultimate watertight argument. “Daddy knows everything so he would know how to make a mommy. We should ask him for the recipe.” “But we still don’t know if she’s the right flavour,” Brash pointed out. “I mean, mommies have to be mommy-flavoured, right?” “Um, wasn’t Daddy tasting all three of them on the lips? Um, you know, after he fished them out of the water?” Squeaky asked, “Won’t Daddy know if they taste like mommies, maybe?” ‘What do they mean by tasting me on the….’ The unicorn gave a loud squeak as realization struck her. Her squeak was quickly taken over by a violent fit of coughing, as if her body hated her very lungs and wished nothing more than to expel it with all due haste. “Wh-whoah! I-I was joking about the dress, honest!” Brash squeaked in surprise. The unicorn opened her bleary eyes just in time to see a pair of leathery wings flare out in surprise. “Hey, uh, are you okay, un-tasty miss?” A tiny pair of hoofsies held onto her, as if to comfort her wretching body. “Cadie, call for help.” Matter-of-fact said, her voice shaky under her firm tone. “Um, um, owkay.” Squeaky took a long, deep breath. “Heeeeelp?” “What’s going on?” The unicorn saw what looked like a door burst open, revealing the blurry outline of a snow-white earth pony. “Is something wrong, Red Heart?” The fuzzy silhouette of what she vaguely recognized as a human appeared behind the pony. She couldn’t be sure, but it kinda looked like he wasn’t wearing anything from the waist upwards. She couldn’t say she disliked the view. “Looks like your fillies got inside again, Baker.” The earth pony sighed as she trotted up to the unicorn’s side. “There there, calm down, they are mostly harmless.” She firmly rubbed the unicorn’s back, quickly taming her fit of coughs. “You’re safe now, dear. I am a nurse. My name is Red Heart. I’m here to look after you.” The earth pony said slowly, comfortingly. The earth pony’s gentle smile slid into focus as she leaned in close to the unicorn’s face. “Hey, we were totally looking after her too, always!” The unicorn looked down and finally found the brash one sitting next to her, little hoofsies still clutching her own comfortingly. She was a small light-peach filly, barely of age to gain her cutie mark. The leathery lilac wings on her back identified her as a thestral. She quickly found two more clutching her protectively - a cream-coated unicorn filly wearing a pair of half-moon glasses and a what looked like a dark-furred unicorn foal. “Um, yes, we were even going to add some sugar and mint to the recipe to make her taste be-...mmmphh mpph mpph.” The dark-furred unicorn foal’s mouth was quickly plugged by a little hoofsie, courtesy of the glasses-wearing unicorn. “Yeah, we were gonna make fresh mom-....mmmph mph!” The thestral filly’s mouth quickly found itself similarly hoofsie-plugged. “Please don’t say anything. I’m out of hooves.” The little glasses-wearing unicorn muttered back at the earth pony and human. “Now now, girls, be nice, okay?” The tall, messy-maned human chuckled as he came into view. “Aww, daddy, but we were being nice!” The fillies protested, flailing their little hoofsies to defy his attempts at scooping them up. ‘He’s….their daddy?’ The unicorn thought, ‘That sounds familiar.’  A sudden throb of pain struck her temple with all the subtlety of a bulldozer. “Ugh.” She clutched her head, wincing all the while. Credit where it’s due, Red Heart wasn’t one of those nurses who asks ‘does it hurt?’. “Here, painkillers.” She placed a large bottle of rum in her hooves. The unicorn stared at it. “It’s medical alcohol,” the nurse said in answer to the unicorn’s questioning look. ‘It even has ‘Berry Punch’s Marshmallow Rum’ on the brand! It’s about as medical as my hoof!’ Red Heart seemed to sense her hesitation. “It’s alright. It’s marshmallow flavoured.” She said, reassuringly. Unfortunately, Red Heart didn’t seem like one of those nurses who made sense either. The unicorn noticed, rather belatedly, that she was on a bed, one she shared with not only the fillies but two other unconscious mares. “Maarshmallooooows.” The azure blue pegasus lying next to her threw her forehooves out in her sleep. Unfortunately for the unicorn, she was sitting in range of the pegasus’ sleep-hug. “Omnomnom.” The azure pegasus sank her maw into the unicorn’s cutie mark, chewing hungrily all the while. “Mmmh, shoft, but needsh shugar and mintsh.” The pegasus mare mumbled sleepily. The unicorn didn't recognize her, but there was something about the pegasus mare that rubbed her the wrong way, like sandpaper for toilet tissue. It was something that irked her enough to want to banish her to the moon or something. The other mare, a light pink changeling judging by the layered carapace over her fur, blinked owlishly as she stirred. She looked down at the sight of the unicorn being force-fed rum, smothered by fillies, while being nommed on by a grown pegasus mare. She gave a sleepy nod of profound understanding before wresting the rum from Red Heart’s hooves. The others stared blankly as the changeling took a long, hard swig. “Gulp….gulp...gulp...phwaaah!” The changeling sighed, putting the bottle down. “Okay, this is starting to make sense.” She waved the vague forehoof of one who had found enlightenment at the bottom of the bottle. “You are combining into your final form.” The crickets cheered at her revelation. “It’s worse than I thought.” Nurse Red Heart muttered, quickly prying the changeling’s mouth open and shining a pen torch as she peered inside. “What is it?” The human asked, worriedly. “Um, does she wanna combine too?” Squeaky asked. “No, that would be silly.” The glasses filly pointed out in a rare show of sense. “Pink would clash with our colour co-our-day-neigh-shun. That would be unlucky." “No.” Red Heart muttered, somberly, “The rum’s all gone.” “Oh. Where did it go?” The pink changeling mare asked. “The wrong place.” The unicorn finally muttered. “Sorry, but can somepony please tell me what happened?” “Uh, you don’t remember?” The human asked, looking concerned. The unicorn frowned at the question. Should she be remembering something? In fact….should she remember anything at all? She clutched her head in sudden panic. “I…” She mumbled, “I don’t….I don’t remember a thing.” She looked up at them all in wide-eyed horror. “W-where is this?” She looked about at the bed, and the ponies surrounding her, at the human looming over her. “Why am I here?” She looked down at herself, at her hoofsies, at the pegasus mare still nomming her cutie mark. “Who am I?!” She gasped. “It’s alright, calm down. It’s only brain damage.” Nurse Red Heart said, patting her calmingly on her withers. “You’ll be able to walk it off.” “Do any of you remember anything?” The human asked the other two, worriedly. “Hmmm?” The pegasus mare blinked owlishly as she decided to stop chewing on the unicorn’s tush long enough to regain consciousness. “Mmm.” She seemed to consider the question with all the thoughtfulness of the recently comatose. The unicorn felt some hope rising. “Mmm, dunno. But this marshmallow is familiar. Gimme a few more minutes and I might remember something.” She returned to nomming on her tush. Never had hope been abandoned so quickly. “One moment.” The changeling mare grabbed the seemingly-empty bottle of rum and somehow managed to magically chug down some more liquid brain power. “Hmm, yesh, I remememember naow,” she said with the serene smile of the enlightened, “We’re pretty pony princessesh with crownsh and castlesh and everything.” She said, swaying dangerously with all the enlightenment. They all stared at the changeling blankly. They all came to a silent agreement. That was crazy talk. “You all lost your memories?” The human asked, worriedly. “Well done with the mouth-to-mouth, Baker,” Nurse Red Heart said, patting the human on his shoulder, “You kissed their brains out.” “Yay, Daddy!” The three little fillies cheered. They didn’t seem very sure what it was their daddy did well, but they looked proud of it nonetheless.