//------------------------------//
// The Mommy Hunt Begins! 
// Story: The Human's Guide to Raising Fillies - Unicorn, Bat Filly and Changeling Edition 
// by Pen Mightier 
//------------------------------//





~4th Serving~
The Mommy Hunt Begins









There was a faint rustle.
 
He stiffened, quickly killing the torch mounted on his rifle as he lowered his posture closer to the scorched earth. He peered into the darkness, interspersed by the skeletal silhouettes of the ruins around him. As he knelt down in the wet ash he felt his knee crunch something hard. He looked down and made out the object by the pale light of the moon alone.
 
It was a photograph, one of a little family of earth ponies, all smiling happily at the camera. For a brief moment he couldn't help but wonder where the family had gone by then, seeing as his battalion had evacuated the last of the civilians over two weeks before. A combination of adrenaline and combat discipline pulled his mind back to his immediate situation.
 
For a moment he thought it was probably just the wind. Quite mild for a breeze, considering the weather had long gone feral after the local pegasi stopped tending it. But then the faint rustle came again, this time with the air perfectly still.
 
He reached up to the coms strapped to his shoulder, ready to signal for backup, as he squinted into the darkness for any signs of movement. He silently cursed himself for going so far ahead of his squadron on their routine patrol. 
 
Then he heard another sound.
 
It was a faint sniffle.
 
He frowned, slowly turning towards the source. It was a small, sodden upturned toybox, fashioned into the form of a treasure box, lying on a pile of burnt debris.
 
The sniffle turned into a faint mewling.
 
There was a panicked 'shush'. But the mewling only grew louder in response.
 
Relaxing somewhat, he turned on his field lamp and crept closer to the toybox. Then, with the gentlest voice he could muster, he called out, "Hello there."
 
The weak mewling grew louder. There was another frantic 'shush', broken up a stiffled sniffle.
 
"It's alright, you're safe." He said, gently. Stowing his rifle by his side, he reached out and gently tipped the box away from him, mostly to make sure its contents don't run away in the other direction. His breath caught as he found what lay underneath.
 
A large pair of defiantly bright green orbs scowled up at him. It was a little cream-coated unicorn filly, her coat blackened by soot and caked with mud. Her eyes, determined as they were, were unfocused, even as she glared up at him. It surprised him how she managed that much with her lower body trapped painfully under a pile of debris. But what struck him most were her forehooves, protectively shielding two other shivering little figures. The minuscule leathery lilac bat wings on one identified it as a little thestral. The other, however, had the chitinous fur identifying her as a changeling, a race he had only ever heard of.
 
The little unicorn gritted her teeth. Her tiny horn flickered feebly in the dark, spitting out dim sparkles at him. Even as she strained she continued to glower defiantly at him, as if determined to stare him down through sheer force of will alone.
 
"It's alright." He repeated gently, raising both his hands up in a gesture of peace. The little unicorn's glare settled into a little frown, her horn dimming somewhat. She did not relax in her defence of the other two, however. "You're safe now." He said, as he reached out a hand.
 
Before he knew it something had barrelled into his hand. He pulled it away reflexively but whatever it was had clamped on with all the strength of a vice. He looked down to find the little thestral struggling to gnaw its way through his glove. She snarled and growled, glaring up at him with bold golden eyes that glowed fiercely in the dark, even as the rest of her body trembled in obvious terror.
 
There was a soft hiss. He looked down to find another little figure, this one obviously the little changeling, standing protectively between him and the little unicorn. The little thing had planted her tiny hooves in the earth, quavering aquamarine eyes struggling to glare up at him through pools of tears.
 
His attention was interrupted by a harried-sounding voice crackling in his coms. "Commander, this is Rider Actual. Exfil enroute to your position in five. Pull your unit out of there now, over."
 
"This is rodeo one, solid copy." He said, using his free hand to hold the transmit button on his coms, "What's the situation, over?"
 
"Night-Fall incoming." The three words chilled his blood, his eyes immediately darting up into the sky, expecting it to open up and rain death on him there and then. The moonlit sky was, however, mercifully empty of doom and destruction. "ETA, fifteen minutes. You need to haul, sir. Over."
 
"Copy that, Rider. Out." He sighed, looking down at the three little foals. This was definitely not in the job description.
 




 

It was to a slow but gentle susurration of the breeze on the waves outside and the distant mewling of the seagulls that Baker slowly woke up. The bakery was flooded with light, the long curtains billowing in the wide windows glowing bright white in the sun. Everything looked almost alien after his dream as he struggled to blink the bleariness out of his eyes. He slowly straightened up out of the chair he had fallen asleep on behind the till. There was a loud thud as something slid off his chest and onto the hardwood floor below.
 
He frowned as he stooped down to pick it up. It was a well-read paperback, thick but well illustrated, one titled 'A Human Parenting Guide to Raising Equestrian Foals, Filly Edition'. He had thankfully marked the page he was on as he read, an old habit. He looked up at the empty bakery. After the crazed franticness of the lunchtime rush, the tranquillity was surreal. It was quiet, a peace that had only one possible explanation; 'Those three must still be out playing or hunting for their cutie marks', he thought. Which meant it was still before 4PM. Unruly as they were, they would never break curfew.
 
It would appear there wouldn't be many customers that afternoon. Just as well, considering he had sold most of his wares for the day. He decided to return to his other full time job and his one greatest pleasure in life. He leafed through the book back to where he was and began reading once more. He had been stuck on a particularly lengthy chapter, 'Your Filly and Single Parenting'. He found the page with the familiar photograph of the young man holding an exuberant-looking pegasus filly in his arms and scanned down to the last paragraph.
 
'Anytime after her 2nd year of life your filly will develop a sudden explosion in interest. She will begin to display great curiosity and an insatiable thirst for knowledge. She will follow you around closely, observing everything you do, even imitating your day to day activities. During this time she is very open to influences upon her development, particularly you, her parent figure. This is in part driven by her instinctual pursuit of her 'cutie mark' (refer to chapter 4, 'Your Filly's Cutie Mark').
 
'Foals raised by humans will attempt human-like behaviour such as standing and walking on two legs. Their inability to do so will quickly cause them frustration. On the other hand, they will be very slow to develop their pony characteristics; From subtle things such as tail and ear body language, cantering and galloping, to more profound things such as magic, flight and earth pony magic. This can quickly render them the target of bullying by their peers.'
 
"Bullies..." Baker bit his lip. "Are my girls being bullied?" He wondered out loud, scowling at the thought of his little girls quivering in the corner of some alleyway as the shadow of two hulking pony bullies loomed over them. His one-track mind ran through all the possible solutions, most of which somehow involved tactical nukes. 
 
"But they never tell me when they're feeling troubled." He sighed, recalling how his little girls had heads that made walls look about as hard as cake batter. Much to the single parent's continued frustration the girls somehow took after him incredibly well including all the annoying bits. "Well, being the social-savy guy I am, I'll just ask them straight up." He nodded to himself. This was a lot of confidence coming from a guy whose many years of lonely bachelor living had caused him to develop a habit of talking to himself.
 
He maintains that he enjoys having intelligent conversations.
 
"For now, gotta help them get their cutie mark." The doting parent stretched luxuriously before eyeing the long list he had jotted up on a little notepad shoved into the back of the book. The header read 'Operation Cutie Mark'. He had crossed off everything from 'Staring' and 'Competitive Walking' down to 'Hoof Painting' and 'Stargazing'. He bit the end of his pencil as he eyed the next one on the list, frowning a little at the risks involved. 'Kite flying'. 'What if they fly off with the kite? What if they get struck by a freak lightning bolt?' He thought to himself, grimly.
 
Never mind that his little girls practically run the entire bakery in the morning and lunchtime rush, stopping only for school and their afternoon playtime. But don't tell him that. He'd only worry more.
 
"Maybe Lisa's right. Maybe I'm interfering a little too much." He considered his rather nosy supplier and friend's words of advice. "If only they had a mother..." he sighed, looking over at a photograph behind the till. It was a picture of a much younger Baker trying to wrestle with three little foals in his arms, all fighting over the same bottle of milk. "Well, Lisa did go into the trouble of putting out an ad for a nanny. It's been a month though and I haven't seen a single applicant." He frowned at the door, as if staring at it hard enough might embarrass it into giving up a potential nanny. "I wonder where all the nannies in the world are?"
 




 


"The play-date-tor has found her prey." A golden pair of bat eyes peered out from conveniently cut-out peep-holes in a cardboard box. "Pegasus, kinda big-ish, bright blue. The hunt begins~" She cackled to the sound of smacking lips.
 
"That's a stallion." There was a loud boop noise. The cardboard box shook violently. A few ponies and humans walking along the canal walk carefully gave the box a wide berth. The neighbourhood had been conditioned into avoiding random cardboard boxes, experience teaching them that such boxes could contain just about anything; Most commonly Cutie Mark Crusaders or Little Buster Brigaders. Either way cardboard boxes were always bad news, especially the ones marked 'Sugar Belle's Sweet Sugar Sprinkles', like this one.
 
"Ow! What was that boop for?!" A voice protested the violence, "He'd look just fine in a dress! Nobatty would know the difference." A brief silence followed. "Fine, we won't put the prey in a dress. Lucky prey."
 
"Oooh, oooh, Cadie sees a perfect mommy!" Cadie's voice trilled. Three big pairs of eyes quickly manned the box's starboard viewing port. They spotted the butter yellow pegasus flapping by, towing a boatload of little animals. "Look at all the cute little animal friends she has!" She drooled.
 
"She must be a really good cook, yep." The predator drooled in agreement. The third occupant of the box had to stand on her tippyhooves to avoid the growing pool of drool.
 
"Her cutie mark's three butterflies. I wonder what that means." Tia's voice wondered out loud.
 
"It means the play-date-or shall dine upon all the pun fuel, always!" The predator giggled menacingly.
 
The box shook violently to yet another loud booping noise.
 
The pegasus paused mid-flutter as she came across the bakery riverboat moored on the peer. "Look, she noticed the ad on the door!" Cadie squeaked excitedly. "She's coming in our direction. Oh, I hope she'll like us." The pegasus pulled her gondola over, mooring it carefully before landing on the riverboat's main deck.
 
"We're not letting this one get away!" Tia declared.
 
"Bat-tle stations, Little Busters!" The predator ordered. "Plan Awesome, go! On my mark...." The cardboard box tensed up. "One...." The pegasus trotted up to the front door. "Two..." She reached for the handle.
 
"NYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" A passionate if squeaky battle cry filled the air. The cardboard box was thrown open to reveal what could be cakes, if cakes sported stubby little legs, tails and ravenous grins.  
 
"Nooooo! I'm sorry, I'll never eat cake agaaaaaaain!" The butter yellow pony squeaked, taking off in a flurry of feathers. Her little animal friends were left to unmoor their gondola and paddle frantically after her.
 
"Wait, come back, prey!" The peach shortcake cried out, running as fast as her little legs would carry her. "We won't put you in a dress, promise!"
 
"Perhaps we should have counted up to three," The strawberry cheesecake said, her wheels rolling to a stop, "Three is a much luckier number."
 
"But a lot can happen in one second," The peach shortcake argued, "You might think of another plan. I might get called away to save the world. And Cadie might eat her costume, again."
 
The blueberry muffin paused midway through nibbling her own frosting. She gave a sheepish pony-squee.
 
"I can definitely hear the crickets chirping for you to save the world." The cheesecake said, wheeling herself back to the box. "Alright, we're going with plan Bravo." She said, pushing her glasses up her strawberry.
 
"See what I mean?" the peach shortcake sighed, "And I worked really hard on my cake eem-prey-shun." She looked up at the changeling who had long since chewed through her own disguise and was clutching onto the peach shortcake, nibbling happily at her peachy toppings. "See? Cadie agrees with me, always."
 



 
Princess Celestia Sunrise Splendour was certain. She knew she had sensed it in that bakery, even if it was just a whiff. She wasn't sure whether the answer lay in the human or his three little daughters, but by the sun she would find out! Infiltrating the bakery would be simple enough, seeing as it had conveniently left her an opening; That ad for a nanny. While she must admit that in her many thousands of years of life in her youthful inexperience she had little practical experience with foals, she was confident that she would simply swim through the job. She once looked after not only an entire kingdom but an entire species. How difficult could three little fillies be?
 
The snow-white unicorn paused in her tracks as a boatload of little animals paddled along the canal next to her, chasing after a pegasus screaming about new cake overlords.
 
She frowned for a moment, looking out for any evil cake overlords that might be lurking about and terrorizing her ponies. Satisfied that the world was safely cakeless for the time being, she decided that it probably did not concern her and her important mission.
 
It didn't take her long to find the riverboat bakery where it was moored at the peer just opposite a wide open-air market square. Its polished finish gleamed bright white against the perfect blue sky. She could practically smell all the salt saturating the aged oak hull. It hadn't moved since she last visited, making her idly wonder whether the twin paddle-wheel engine was only for show.
 
She paused by the canalside to use the water as a mirror, quickly adjusting her long dawn pink mane into a humble ponytail. She wanted to make the right impression. She was going to a job interview after all. Happy with her simple but elegant new appearance, Sunrise Splendour hefted her bright white saddlebags and set out towards the riverboat.
 
Except there was already somepony else trotting up the gangway towards the bakery. She would have discounted the azure pegasus mare as a regular customer if it weren't for two things; The job ad sticking out of her dark blue saddlebags and that smirk on her face. She could recognize that smirk anywhere, even if it were hiding behind a telltale layer of chocolate frosting at the scene of a cake crime. 'Luna!' she thought, heatedly. 'Why is she here?! Could she...could she be after the same thing?!' She quickened her pace, almost racing her way up the gangway.
 
To her annoyance, the pegasus mare had stopped halfway up the gangway, effectively blocking her way. The pegasus tilted her head to one side, seemingly studying something. Sunrise stood up on her tippy-hooves, peering over her rival's withers at whatever it was she was looking down at. It was a muffin wrapping lying on the ground amidst a sprinkling of muffin crumbs. There was another further up, then another. Their gaze followed the trail of muffin wrappings until they found a bright pink changeling mare happily munching her way through a muffin trail.
 
'This must be part of the interview! And somepony's stealing a head start!' Sunrise thought, urgently. The pegasus mare must have thought the exact same thing as she quickened her pace. They stormed up the gangway, pressing and shoving against each other as they tried to catch up with the pink changeling.
 
The pink changeling's ears twitched as she heard their thunderous approach. She looked back to see a snow-white unicorn and a sky-blue pegasus racing towards her. She was about to demand answers when something caught her attention out of the corner of her eye. It was a double strawberry chiffon, slowly sliding its way across the riverboat's deck as if pulled along by an invisible puppeteer (or three). She saw the cake catch the eye of the other two mares too. An unspoken agreement was reached between the three, 'May the best mare win'.
 
They chased after the cake until both they and the cake ran out of the deck. The cake went on sliding along towards a cardboard box labelled 'Sugar Belle's Sweet Sugar Sprinkles'. The three ignored the 'Danger, handle with care' label on the box, opting to stalk the cake until it came to a stop.
 
"Target cake-wired!" They heard a voice whisper gleefully from within the box. "Three of them! We didn't even need the dresses!"
 
"Quick, Cadie, spring the trap!" A commanding little voice ordered.
 
"Um, aye, aye!" There was a loud whirr and a clank. A trapdoor suddenly dropped open on the deck, just two inches away from the three mares. The trapdoor swung to and fro with an awkward creak as the three mares looked between the hole in front of them and the cardboard box.
 
"We missed!" The commanding voice balked.
 
"Miss-shun failed!" The gleeful voice cried. "A-bat-don everything! It's every filly for herself!" The cardboard box suddenly sped away in full retreat. Except there was no more deck to retreat to. The three mares could only watch as the box ran over the edge and dropped down into the water below.
 
"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeep!" There was a loud splash. The three mares rushed to the edge to find a cardboard box bobbing sheepishly in the canal. Three stunned little fillies sat in the box.
 
"I told you, I told you, I bat the boop box floats, always" One cheered.
 
"Just our luck." One muttered.
 
"Um, Cadie thinks there's a leak. Um, or two. Or three. Or four." One squeaked. "Um, Cadie's run out of hooves to count."
 
"Oh no," Sunrise Splendour gritted her teeth. If she had taken a moment for calm, rational thought, she would have recalled that she is able to lift entire celestial bodies. Except she didn't, choosing instead to leap headlong after the three little fillies. Her two fellow mares appeared to have had the same idea, cannonballing after her. If she had taken a further moment for rational thought, she would have also remembered that she was unable to swim. Luckily for her, the water politely reminded her of this fact. Unluckily for her, it wasn't about to wait for her to learn how to swim.
 
"Glub!" From the flailing, splashing and general helpless drowning, it would appear her two fellow mares were as good at swimming as she was.
 
Just as she was about to disappear under the surface, she caught a glimpse of a tall giant dressed in white emerge on the deck. She might have imagined it, but she could have sworn the last thing she saw was the giant ripping its shirt off its chest before taking a graceful swan dive after them.