Fluttershy Fears the Narrator
Chapter 5: Fluttershy Fears the Narrator
Fluttershy slept soundly in her cottage the next day as the-
"EEEEEP! Who's there?!
Oops.
"Oh my gosh! There's a burglar in my house! Please, just take whatever you want and go away! And please don't hurt any of my furry friends! Angel! Get in the panic room!"
Whoa whoa whoa, it's okay! It's just me, the Narrator.
Fluttershy poked her head out from under her bed. "What? Oh, it's you. Uh...what are you doing here?"
Sorry about the scare. I just figured that since you can hear me now, I might as well get to know Twilight's friends.
"Oh...okay," she still looked hesitant. "It's just that...this is a little strange to me."
I understand. You should have seen Twilight when we first met.
"That's right. She was frantic when I heard about you. She thought you were some kind of monster. Oh, no offense."
None taken. So, what's on the agenda for today? Anything exciting or fun? Off to find exotic animals or something? Living wild?
"Um, well, uh...eeep."
Okay okay, I'll just take it slow.
"Um, what am I supposed to do?" she asked.
Just go about your day. Don't mind me. I'm just a framing device. It's like I'm not even here.
"Well...if you say so."
Fluttershy crawled out from under her bed, having calmed down a bit. She made up her bed after her momentary panic and walked over to the bathroom to take a shower.
"Wait, am I supposed to take a shower?" she asked.
Uh, I don't know, just go with it.
"Oh, okay...Um, can you-"
I got it, I got it, I won't look.
...
As the morning blossomed, Fluttershy trotted downstairs after getting groomed up. She headed into her kitchen to whip up a fresh and breakfast of tofu omelettes and herbal tea. While heating up the tea kettle, she hummed a melodic tune to herself as a group of birds came to greet her at the windowsill.
"Oh, sorry." She said nervously. "Was I annoying you?"
What? No I don't mind. You have a good singing voice.
"Oh gosh!" she hid her blushing face behind her long mane. "Ah! You can see that?!"
Don't worry about it. Just pretend I'm not even here.
"Well, to be honest, it's kind of hard since I can hear everything you say."
Well listen, sweetheart, what if I started talkin' with a funny accent, see? Like some kinda bigshot Manehattan mobster, see?
"...That would...certainly be different."
Or what if I was from Vanhoover, eh? Soorry! Soorry aboot dat! I'll getcha back later, eh?
"Teehee! You're quite funny."
Aye, or what if I be a highlander?! Ach! I've spilt black puddin' all ovah me kilt, lassie!
Fluttershy giggled. "I had no idea how talented you were."
I've had time to practice.
"Ooh! I almost forgot." She said. "It's time to give Angel his vitamins." Fluttershy walked over to the wooden hutch that housed her beloved companion. "Angel!" she called sweetly. "Wake up, sleepyhead!"
No response came. But a half-eaten carrot end was hurled out of the hutch almost hitting her on the nose.
Fluttershy poked her head inside the opening. "Now now, Angel. I know you don't like taking your medicine. But you don't want to catch bunny influenza, do you?"
At this point, Angel poked his little white head out of the hutch and looked up at his caretaker. But the rabbit gave a harsh hiss like an angered snake and retreated back inside, pulling a blanket over his head.
Fluttershy began to grow stern. "Angel Roderick Bunny, you come out here and take your vitamins this instant!"
The rabbit simply put on a pair of tiny earmuffs and ignored her even harder.
"Oh dear," sighed Fluttershy. "He must be in an especially bad mood. I wonder if it's because I reorganized the furniture."
Normally I shouldn't interfere, but why don't you just slip the vitamin in a carrot?
"Oh, I already tried that. But he was able to find it in the carrot, and after that he wouldn't speak to me for a week."
...Wait what?
"Not to worry, though, I have a technique that always works." Fluttershy then reached inside the hutch and poked at the rabbit. "Angel?" she said softly.
Angel snapped his head up again with a scowl on his face. But he immediately froze in terror as Fluttershy stared down at his with a haunting and menacing stare that was enough to freeze lava. With his ears folded back, Angel exited the hutch and agreed to take the rabbit pill.
Fluttershy gave him his vitamin and pet him on the head, returning to her gentle nature. "Good boy, Angel!"
Wow, you really know how to take control.
"Sometimes." She shrugged modestly. "Well, I better go take care of the rest of my cuties."
Fluttershy trotted outside into the warm sunlight, sniffing the array of flowers sprouting up from her backyard garden. Gathering a few sacks of animal feed, she went to tend to an even bigger arrangement of creatures. She first opened the gate to her chicken range.
"Here chickie chickies!" she called as she spread grain across the ground. "Come and get it!"
A gaggle of hens rushed out of the coup clucking madly. They gathered around and pecked at the seed with comical bobs of their heads. One of the chickens crowed loudly and flapped its wings as it glared at another.
"Come on, no need to fight," said Fluttershy. "There's plenty for all of you."
Hey Fluttershy, why did the chicken cross the road to Griffonstone?
"Um, I don't know."
Family reunion! Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
"...Eh heh heh...Oh hello, Mr. Blue Jay! Are you hungry too?"
Fluttershy gave a hoofful of seeds to her little bluebird sitting on her back, who gave her a happy whistle in response. After leaving more seed for an entire rainbow of birds, she then proceeded to several more of her beloved critters. She poured a trough-full of slop to a family of muddy pigs, snorting and squealing happily. Next was a tank home to a couple of small turtles, who together ate a moist swamp leaf in slow motion. Then it was on to leaving nuts in a cozy little den that housed a mother raccoon and her young kits. And then Fluttershy gave a bundle of grass to a walleyed goat that seemed to just seemed to stand there and chew for eternity. And of course, Fluttershy remembered to leave a bale of hay for the ELEPHANT?!
FWOMP
How the heck did you get an elephant?!
"Oh, I've been raising him ever since he was a little pachyderm." Fluttershy said. "Poor thing was separated from his herd."
That still raises more questions!
FWAAAAMP!!!
"Oh dear." Fluttershy backed up as the elephant stomped a bit, growing uneasy. "He seems to be irritated about something."
As if on cue, most of the other animals began to stir, ruffling fur and kicking up dirt. They squeaked, squawked, and squabbled over some mysterious force that made them antsy.
"I hate to say it, Narrator," said Fluttershy. "But I think they're a bit scared of you."
That's impossible. Animals can't sense me.
"I don't know, it's been known that animals can sometimes react to a spiritual presence."
But I'm not a ghost!
BARK! BARK!
QUACK! QUACK! QUACK!
BAAAAAAA!
ROOOAAR!
Make them stop!
"I'm sorry, Narrator," shrugged Fluttershy. "But they seem to get nervous when you speak up. Ooh! But here's a fuzzy friend who doesn't look afraid of you." She grabbed yet another critter from behind the bushes. "Narrator, meet Opalescence! She's Rarity's cat. I'm watching her while Rarity gets the boutique repainted. Say hello, Opal!"
The puffy white feline just slumped in Fluttershy's hooves with a dour grimace on her...ah...ah...ACHOO!
"Oh my. Gesundheit."
Thanks. That was a big...ACHOO! Ugh! *sniffs* Why do I suddenly feel so...so...ACHOO!...snotty?!
"Uh oh. Narrator, I think you're allergic to cats."
Okay I know for sure that's definitely impossible! ACHOO!
"Well, you can see and hear everything, right? And that includes smell too, doesn't it?"
*sniffs* What's your point?
"If you can smell everything you narrate, then you must have different reactions to them. When you smell Opal, for example, you have an allergic reaction."
...Wow, I'm upset that that makes sense. ACHOO! Get that cat out of here!
"Don't worry, Narrator," said Fluttershy as she put down Opal and headed for the backdoor. "I have just the thing for your allergies!" She walked inside and went to the- ACHOO! -kitchen *sniffs* and grabbed the kettle of water from the stove. After pouring it into a bowl instead of a cup, she- ACHOO! -sprinkled a sample of crushed tea leaves in the steaming water. "Hmm, maybe a little more." After stirring the water a bit, the tea took color and she held it up to the- ACHOO! -air. "Here you go, Narrator!"
How do you expect me to drink that?
"Just take a big whiff! It's an herbal remedy for the sinuses. You'll feel right as rain!"
Well okay. *inhales deeply* Whoa...that smells pretty good. *sniffs* Hey! I feel much better! My nose is clearing up! *sniffs* I can smell again! Thank you, Fluttershy!
"Teehee, don't mention it."
Boy this tea is some magical stuff! I...I......I feel funny...Kind of light-headed actually.
"Are you okay?"
I don't know. Why is your fur turning blue?
"Oh dear, I must've used too much of a dose."
What's happening to me?! Wh- what's going on?! The walls are melting! The air is moving the ground!
"Narrator, settle down! Oh, I really have to ask Tree Hugger about this tea!"
Everything is coming apart! I am coming apart!
"Narrator what's happening to you?!"
The planes of existence have been shattered! Everything that is light and color is melding into one endless dimension! Reality is merging my very being with time and space! I am narrating at an increasingly exponential rate!
"Oh my. Maybe you should narrate somepony else."
I SEE EVERYTHING! I KNOW EVERYTHING!!!!
Hi. I'm Stratocaster. Every second, thousands of narrators suffer from sniffing dubious herbal tea. You can help put an end to this pandemic by sponsoring the Equestrian Association for Spaced Out Narrators. In return, we'll give you a free EASON t-shirt and a copy of Twilight Hears the Narrator. Thank you, and remember, narrators are ponies too.
(Whoo! First chapter of the year! 
)
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That is some very trippy tea.
Dat tea tho.
Oh, don't worry, it's only the strongest and most potent teas that I ever share with Fluttershy.
It seems Tree Hugger got some of that good stuff. I knew it.
I love this! Keep going! May I recommend Pinkie pie next?
Does this mean the high narrator can see us reading him?
Once again this fic astounds me with its brilliance. I think "Can Fluttershy use The Stare on the Narrator?"
But of course I'm thinking too small.
DAMN YOU TREE HUGGER!!!! YOU WILL GET ARRESTED FOR YOUR DRUG USE!!!!! And then Discord will go, "Say it..."
And then Fluttershy will go, "Do I have too...?"
Then Discord will go, "I'm at half-mast, I NEED TO HEAR THIS..."
Finally Flutterage will scream, "Fine, YOU WERE RIGHT!!!!"
*hopes for EASON to become a thing*
This may sound odd, but every single time that I see this has updated, I am always on the toilet. Every single time. It's even where I read the first one.
I Can See Everything I Know Everything=
lh3.googleusercontent.com/wGCCqW5q10sYFMKeB9jHZbdRRpNkhnnZZn6Lk8CEW3KJH_JirsKmCtrltXVAoKjE_2E=w300
At this rate, the narrator is going to be heard and even seen by all Ponyville...
Facepalm
this is what the last part reminds me of.
6828425
once more another great chapter, love this story.
im looking forward to the next
6828439 With your charitable donation, it will be. Ahem. *shakes coin box*
6828443 What a coincidence! It's not like I have bathroom cameras planted in various places! No sir!
6828447 12 letters in Stratocaster.
15 stories.
12 plus 15 is 27.
3 years on fimfiction.
27 divided by 3 is 9.
9 justices on the Supreme Court.
Coincidence?!
... I'm Canadian.
6828674
...Soorry...I love Rush!...
The colors with these words must have took a while, huh? (I'm too lazy to add the colors. :P)
6828761 At first I was going to color each individual letter. That would've taken me forever.
6828786 Good thing you didn't, or else we would have had to wait another month!
6828802
Touche, my friend! Touche!
And your local EASON chapter is just down the road.
That's right... EASON down, EASON down the ro-oad!!!
As opposed to herr narrator at zee end here.
richardlaw.files.wordpress.com/2013/11/94694_lhfievvxymq42bd.jpg
Is the story inspired by The Stanley Parable?
Good game. Goooooooood game.
6828434 I recognize that reference and I love every bit of it. All we need is the orgasm.
6828870 Oh my freaking Celestia! Why didn't I say that?!
6828600 If I can summon the funds, I actually just might.
Lsd
I wonder what Applejack's chapter will be like. For some reason, I can see her trying to put the narrator to work if he wanted to stay.
i53.tinypic.com/2guir85.jpg
Oh my. That's quite a trip the narrator had at the end.
Let's see:
Rarity uses the narrator to critique her dresses.
Rainbow beats him with speed and stealth and scares the crap out of him.
And now Fluttershy accidentally gets the narrator high on herbal tea that actually contains hallucinogenic substances.
Man, this is hilarious.
You know, one of these chapters, Twilight is going to realize that a narrator does not exist in a vacuum. She's read enough to know that a narrator only exists so that some other party can read/hear what is going on that they cannot see. The question is though, does the narrator realize that he is part of a story? Does he narrate because he feels he is meant to, or does he know we're here listening to him? It'll probably be the end of the story when we find out, however.
Also:
This actually tells us something quite important
I should have known that Tree Hugger would be a hippy.
Woaaa... I see rainbow...
Hey i think that would be really funny if the next one was pinkie pie while the narrator was high
6828600 *internet coin* Do I get a shirt now? EASON seems like a good cause. Really something that just makes sense.
I have this vaguest feeling that this is not a good thing.
Tree Hugger gave drugs to Fluttershy? Why I'm not surprised?
That was fun, may I have another? Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
Maybe that ought to have been the ROYAL Equestrian Association for Spaced Out Narrators. That'll give everyone a REASON to comment.
6829879 Here you go! It's got my face on it! And here's your copy of the original story. Autographs cost extra.
6830756 Ah! Why didn't I think of that either?!
6830829 I'm gonna find another coin!
While the narrator was tripping out more than the Mystery Machine, I was READING RAINBOW!!!
You see... THIS is the reason I made a Narrator shelf. Specifically so I can keep tabs on the hilarity that is this.
6828701 don't be I laughed
Aren't ponies technically naked already?
6831042 You re-e-ekt us.