Chapter 2: The Poltergeist Speaks
Twilight pinched her brow in bemusement. The fun at the beach had been brought to a halt, after the sudden strange shift in an already strange occurrence. Her friends all looked to her for answers as-
"Oh spare me!" she glared up at the air. "You still haven't answered my question!"
"Yeah, why are you here?!" asked Rainbow.
...Well...why are any of us here? I mean, what's the point of life? Are we just cosmic entities spiraling through-
"She means how come the rest of us can hear ya now?!" glowered Applejack.
Oh, that. Well uh...I don't really know.
"What do you mean you don't know?!" blurted Rainbow. "You're supposed to be this all powerful voice that controls everything just like Twilight said! You must've gotten into our heads somehow!"
I'm telling you, I don't know how this happened! It's not in my control!
"Liar!" huffed Rainbow, with a sneer on her rodent face. "What did you just say?!"
"Now now, Rainbow," said Fluttershy. "Maybe he really doesn't know what's happening. But I think it's a good thing that we're now able to hear the Narrator's voice. I've been very curious about what Twilight has told me about him." Why thank you, Fluttershy! "Eeep! Oh, sorry. Still not used to that."
"Ooh! I was right!" beamed Rarity, fluttering her long lashes. "His voice really is handsome! So masculine and soothing! Oh say something else, Mr. Narrator! Anything!"
...My butt itches.
"Ooooh! So manly!"
"I knew you were a new friend!" Pinkie smiled as she grabbed the air in a hug. "If Twilight likes you, then so do I!"
"Easy for you to say, Pinkie." Applejack said. "But this still seems like a bunch o' hocus pocus to me."
"Yeah, I don't trust this guy one bit!" Rainbow scowled. "I don't want some invisible pony or whatever watching everything I do."
"Well I hardly think we have a choice now, Rainbow." Rarity said. "But what really matters is what Twilight thinks of this."
Twilight pondered silently for a moment, with a look of uncertainty. "This really is unexpected." She said. "All this time, I was sure I was the only one who could hear the narrator's voice. But then again, there's still a lot about him I don't know about. But I do believe that the Narrator has no control over who gets to hear him, because he was surprised that I could when we first met."
"So yer sayin' that he's just randomly startin' to reach more ponies?" asked Applejack.
"Possibly." Twilight said. "Narrator, are you sure this wasn't intentional?"
Twilight I promise you, this was out of my control.
"Okay. If you say so."
"It's alright, Twi," said Pinkie. "There's no need to feel jealous that we can hear your invisible ghost friend too!"
"Jealous?!" stammered Twilight. "Why would I be jealous?! It's not like I care about having him all to myself."
"That's the spirit, keep telling yourself that!" Pinkie patted her on the back.
...
After a few more awkward hours on the beach, the ponies finally headed home, pretending not to let this strange circumstance deter their day of fun. Twilight returned to Friendship Castle, still shaking the water out of her ear and the sand out of her blanket. She let out a tiresome sulk building up from the long day. It didn't relieve any more stress knowing that the "tides have turned" in her relationship with the friendly voice.
"Tides? Was that supposed to be a beach pun?" she asked.
Was it at least remotely funny?
"Keep trying."
Come on, you're not seriously upset about this, are you?
"Who said I was upset? I don't have any feelings about this whatsoever." She said, unconvincingly. "Hey! It doesn't matter to me if you suddenly get to be heard by other ponies. What does matter is how."
What do you mean?
"Meet me in the basement, Narrator!" she said with gusto. "Now that my friends believe you're real too, my curiosity in your existence has suddenly reignited."
You lost me at "basement".
*sighs* Twilight proceeded downstairs to the newly renovated basement of the castle. Surrounded by old furniture and unused books, she busied herself with a peculiar metal device the size of a small table. It seemed to be some kind of generator, connected to a pair of antennae that looked like something out of a science fiction film. Okay seriously, what are you doing here?
"This is a spiritual energy detector." She explained. "It produces waves of magic energy to make unseen forces visible. I decided to build this after I met you, but almost forgot about it."
Um, I can see every little thing that you do at any point in time. How come I didn't know about this?
Twilight looked up smugly. "Because I've been building it in the shower!"
...Clever girl.
"Now, I know you've said time and time again that you're not a ghost." She said. "But I just know that your ability to make contact with ponies is based on some form of magic. And this machine is perfect for making that theory a reality."
Can't you just draw a picture of what you think I look like and hang it on the fridge?
"Oh Narrator, that would just be crazy." She giggled. "Now hold still while I stick my horn in the machine to charge it up."
Whatever you say. Twilight aimed her horn in a funnel-like receptacle in the generator and charged her magic aura. But after a few moments of anticipation, nothing happened. The machine remained still.
"Huh?" Twilight looked perplexed. "What's wrong with this thing?" She opened a panel on the side of the generator and inspected the interior. "Hey! What happened to the gem? There was supposed to be a rare emerald in here to act as a magic conductor."
Hmm, I think I have an idea.
"SPIKE!"
The dragon appeared at the top of the basement steps. "What's up, Twi?"
"Did you eat the emerald from my spiritual energy detector?" she interrogated, secretly questioning the combination of words that just came out of her mouth.
"Oh, that?" Spike looked away guiltily. "Well, I couldn't stop smelling it, and I thought you weren't using that thing, so..."
"When did you eat it?" glowered Twilight.
"Earlier today." He answered.
"And have you gone to the bathroom since then?"
"...Um...no?"
"Good. Then come here." Twilight reached inside the generator. "Grab a hold of these two wires. If the emerald is still inside you, you should be able to conduct the magic energy."
"What?!" Spike blurted. "No way! Don't you think that's a little dangerous and stupid?!"
"Spike, magic doesn't work like electricity." Twilight rolled her eyes. "You'll be just fine as long as you don't let go."
"Oh that's reassuring." Spike glared. "What the heck is this for anyway?"
"I'm using this device to try and detect the presence of the Narrator." She said. "I need to know more about him, since now my friends can hear him too."
"Wait, is that why you girls all looked so freaked out at the beach?" he questioned. "First Rainbow Dash buries me in the sand and forgets about me, and now you want me to act as a living wire for your crazy machine?!" He crossed his arms. "When does Spike get to catch a break for once?!"
Twilight sighed. "Alright Spike, I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you. If you help me with spotting out the Narrator, I'll..." She thought for a second. "I'll set you up for a date with Rarity."
Spike looked at her inquisitively. "...You...you mean it? Don't make promises you can't keep."
"I promise, Spike," said Twilight. "Rarity will be happy to spend a night with you."
"You mean like, a romantic dinner?" he looked hopefully. "And- and- and- and-"
"Yes, Spike, a romantic dinner." She nodded. "And I'll make sure she wears a pretty dress too."
"Well alright!" Spike beamed suddenly. "Let's make this happen!"
Ha! He still has tanning oil on him.
"Quiet, Narrator!" scolded Twilight.
Without further adieu, Spike knelt down beside the generator and grabbed a hold of the two wires, which were supposed to connect to the power source gem. He gulped with nervousness, hoping that he wouldn't have to show up to his date with Rarity flash-fried. Twilight charged up her magic again and channeled her aura into the receptacle. This time, the generator came to life, making a deep humming noise combined with the slight buzz of raw magical energy.
"Oh man, this feels weird!" Spike quivered, feeling a strange tingle pass through one arm to the other.
"Don't worry, Spike," said Twilight, inspecting the machine. "It won't do any lasting harm."
"You say that now." Spike rolled his eyes.
As the generator channeled the magic current, the low buzz grew in volume. Suddenly, the magic came surging through the twin antennae, racing up in short rapid waves. For several moments, the magic waves increased their repetition, until they began to form a light purple magic screen between the antennae. Hmm, I don't like the looks of this.
"Oh relax," said Twilight. "I'm going to find your presence, whether you like it or not."
"Man, I'd be lying if I said I was jealous of Twilight." Spike muttered to himself.
After a few minutes of zaps and sparks from the magic-charged antennae, nothing else seemed to change. It seemed that Twilight's attempts to make her theory a reality was not to be...Wait, what was that?
"Oh my gosh!" exclaimed Twilight. "I saw something!"
No you didn't!
"Yes I did! I definitely saw what looked like a hoof in the magic screen!"
Oh come on, that could've been anything. You think it would be that easy to find me? It was probably just a fly getting in the way. That thing is nothing more than a science fiction bug zapper.
"There! Right there! I saw a tail!"
You saw baloney! It's just a trick of the air!
"Um, Twilight?"
"Not now, Spike! I'm on the verge of a breakthrough!"
It was then that Spike realized that he had forgotten about the tanning oil, still left on his claws. The moisture caused the wire more and more from his left claw, and he had no way of stopping it.
"No no no no no!" he blurted.
The wire finally fell out of his claw to the floor, and his worse fears came true. The magic current was suddenly cut off from the antennae and was now circulating through Spike's body. He shouted in terror as his very form was being morphed in a blinding magic aura.
"Spike!" Twilight quickly threw an emergency shut-off lever on the generator, and the machine immediately quieted down to a halt. She looked to see if her faithful assistant was unhurt. "Spike, are you okay?" But instead of finding a young dragon in his place, she found a tiny purple and green gecko, flailing its tongue and making high-pitched lizard calls. "Oh thank goodness," she sighed. "I thought it was going to be much worse." Twilight recharged her magic and swiftly turned Spike back to his sentient dragon self.
"Oh sweet Celestia!" Spike panted from shock. "I feel like I went through like a hundred different lifetimes just now!"
"Sorry about that," said Twilight sheepishly. "You can never predict what raw magical energy will do to you."
"You owe me big time for this, Twi!" Spike growled as he stormed off out of the basement, but not before slipping on more tanning oil left on his foot. Heh heh heh.
Twilight glared upward. "Why do I have a feeling you were responsible for that?"
What's with the third degree, Twilight? You can't prove I did anything. And it looks like you won't be using that crazy machine again any time soon. Oh what rotten luck. And we were making such progress.
"You know what?" she scolded. "Sometimes you can really drive me up a wall! Why won't you even give me the opportunity to find out what you are?"
Why do you care? I thought you liked having me around.
"That's not the point. I was this close to understanding you better, and yet you continue to be a hindrance."
You know me, Twi, I can't stop having fun.
"Ugh, I can't deal with this right now." She pinched her brow. "If all you're going to do is be rude and annoying, why don't you just go narrate the other girls for a while."
...Wait, seriously?
"Yeah, why not?" she glowered. "Obviously they know you're real now, so you might as well go crazy."
Well maybe I will go narrate the others.
"Yes, maybe you should."
Well then I'll just go now.
"Alright then, go."
I'm going.
"Good, see you later."
I will, because I'm definitely leaving now.
"Then don't you?"
I am, I'm about to.
"If you say so."
I do say so.
"Good!"
Fine!
"Great!"
Swell!
"Super!"
Terrific!
"Fantastic!"
"SHUT THE HELL UP!" shouted Spike at Twilight.