• Member Since 11th Mar, 2013


hey beautiful people , I'm just a Brony Italian who loves to read fanfic romantic and fun and smoking a joint ...LIFE IS BEATIFULL & CHAOS IS MAGIC

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Phil Phillips isn't your everyday slacker. His life practically redefined relaxing and his antics practically redefined ridiculous pranks. One day however, life decides to give Phil a taste of his own medicine when the effects of an ancient comet send him to the magical pastel world of Equestria, but not without consequences. The after effects of the comet give him an odd, unwanted power. Whenever Phil gets wet, he becomes an irresistible mare magnet! Can Phil survive the onslaught of horny mares?
Not a self insert.
Takes place immediately after the events of "Keep Calm And Flutter On."
Side note: All chapter titles will be Led Zeppelin song titles. Because fuck you, that's why. All rights reserved.

Chapters (19)

Equestria, a nation that prides itself with one of the strongest militaries in the world, has enjoyed a peaceful existence for the last three-hundred years. When the benevolent princesses of such a land discover that a large port city has been overthrown by not one, but two former villains, the princesses take matters into their own hands to ensure a prosperous existence for the residents. However, as a political approach towards the situation fails to yield desired results, the royal sisters take it upon themselves to forcibly remove the two reluctant queens from their newly acquired throne. That is, until they discover a certain human who isn't too keen on a hostile take over. Soon enough, the Equestrians will learn why one should never threaten a human or the ones he calls family.

This story is rate T for implied sexual situations, strong language, and gore and blood.
Story takes place in an alternate universe where Nightmare Moon is alive and the changelings have not been reformed.

This story was featured! Yay!!!

Chapters (8)

Eric Lancer has been stranded in Equestria for a few months now. After mysteriously appearing in the Everfree Forest, the human was forced to live with the fact that there was no way home. Taken in by Twilight Sparkle, all is well for the human as he tries to make friends with the local populace.
As it turns out, the locals of Ponyville aren't very friendly to an omnivore they know nothing about. Even the ponies he once called friends turn out to be manipulative xenophobes who are under strict orders from Princess Celestia to keep an eye on the untrustworthy human.
After learning of their true intentions, Eric leaves the town of Ponyville in the middle of the night. As it turns out, the human has a fate encounter that might just make his life worth living. And a certain mare might be along for the ride of her life.

Story is rated T for the following reasons: Flirting, mild/harsh language, mild violence, implied sexual situations, and pony x human relationship.
The story takes place after Season 3 of the show.

Update: Got a cover photo for the story! And I love it. It was drawn by the amazing Scarlet Heart. I will add a link to her DA. Go check her out, she is really good!

Featured: Yay!!! Featured in the featured box for like an hour probably, but I will take it! (2-22-17)

Chapters (3)

[One-shot] [Humanized/not anthropormophic]
You have become the husband of a powerful ruler -Princess Luna- against her wishes, you love and would do anything for her and your only wish is for her to love you back.
It's been over a month and a half and she's still doing the same thing; ignoring and shutting you out. Hopefully some tea and cheesecake turn the tide.
Warning: contains usage of alcohol and the word hell is used like once in the whole story.

Chapters (1)

Everypony has a story. Some tell of heroic feats and grand adventure. Others tell of villainy against the forces of Harmony. The story of an average guard, however, is one of obscurity. They live in the background, unnoticed but ever-present.

Silent Knight assumed his tale would be like that of his father's: join the Royal Guard and serve Equestria. He would be just another helmet and spear, part of the rank and file. And that was all he ever wanted.

However, when Captain Shining Armor asked for volunteers to form a House Guard for the recently returned Princess Luna, it was Silent's hooves that stepped forwards to set his new life in motion.

Chapters (56)

A human living in Canterlot castle is given to Queen Chrysalis as part of peace negotiations between Equestria and the Hive. Celestia knew she shouldn't have let Luna finish the negotiations herself.

Cover art by jalm on Derpibooru.

Featured on 4/22/20. Thanks guys!

Now with audio readings by StraightToThePointStudio up to chapter 3! Go check them out.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
(As of 5/22/21 these audio readings are outdated due to my conversion from 1st to 3rd person. They are still good to listen to though.)

Chapters (5)

This story is a sequel to You're Not Fine

Friendship is a give-and-take relationship. Fortunately for you, Pinkie doesn't ask for much, and she has plenty to give.
Maybe it's time to start giving back.

Chapters (21)

You just want to be left alone. Pinkie won't let that happen. She's been there.

Lighter, fluffier sequel: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/373623/youre-getting-better

Chapters (1)

Sequel to Heaven's Gift

A bit of heads up, the prologue does not contain August and Twilight yet (it is reserved for the next chapter) but it does introduce the antagonists for the second arc.

There are many possibilities that could occur when a human is scientifically transported into the world of Equestria. He could discover and harvest the essence of magic and use it to perform miracles back on Earth. He could make a fortune selling exotic literally "out of this world" items to common folk. Even befriending royalty and becoming one wouldn't be an understatement for someone like him.

However, for August Winters, of all the possibilities that could have happened the moment he set foot in Equestria, it just had to be the one where he fell madly in love with an adorable purple unicorn-turned-alicorn. He had no regrets with his decisions, falling in love with Twilight Sparkle was the best thing that has ever happened in his life. And after finally reuniting with her after being separated for many years, he wished he the moments he spent with her would never end.

But life, as harsh as it seems, is never fair. There are always creatures lurking in the darkness, secrets waiting to be revealed, and most of all, ancient entities that are only a hair's breadth from reaching omnipotence.

For August, life seemed to have only begun after his night with Twilight. However, in reality, it had simply begun to end.

Chapters (1)

The nobles of Canterlot are up to their old schemes again. Trying desperately to elevate themselves from mere nobles to that of royalty, the high council begins to pressure both Princess Celestia and Princess Luna into marriage. There is only one problem the two sisters face. As the law of old states, only a pony of nobility or foreign dignitary may be eligible to wed either of the princesses. The two sisters must now find a suitable candidate willing to adhere to the balance of power they had so desperately fought to maintain, or lose their right to rule.
Luckily, there seems to be a certain somebody that meets the strict criteria and who would also not abuse his position as royal consort to the Moon and Sun. Now, if only there was a way to convince him.

((I know I am terrible at writing synopsis, but please don't let that dissuade you from giving my story a chance. Rated T for light cussing, teasing, flirtatious mares, and provocative situations. May change later on depending on how I feel and the input from the readers.))

Update: I finally got a beautiful cover art for the story! It looks so freaking amazing and I am super happy with how it turned out. The artist is super talented and you should all go view her stuff and maybe even commission something from her! I literally can't justify how amazing this picture is!
Artist: Cotton
Thank you all so much for your feedback and support! Because of you all I was featured! *happy pony noises*

Chapters (9)