Okay, I don't know if anyone can hear this, or read this, or whatever, but I'm trying my best to use Pinkie Pie's legendary fourth-wall-breaking powers to try and get a message out.

If you can hear this, I need help. I'm in Equestria, and man, this is strange. But I'm also stuck in Pinkie Pie's body, for some reason.

Yes, it's just as weird as it sounds. And now, I need your help... because all the ponies in this town think I'm crazy!

I used to be a human, but then I pissed off a wizard. Now I'm stuck in "Ponyville", in a land called "Equestria", and with no apparent way back home. I'm also pretty sure that I've just replaced somepony. I'd rather not have to answer any tricky questions, so I'm better off trying to be this unicorn whose name has been forced onto me.

My name is Twilight Sparkle, and I'm not a pony.

[Rated Teen for extensive use of vulgar language and sexual references.]

[Cover art made by richhap on deviant art. Unamused Twilight, go figure.]

[Brybrythesciguy is working on a cool audiobook of this story right HERE. The characters' voices are even simulated with an AI! I definitely recommend giving it a listen!]

While visiting his sister Twilight at her home in Ponyville, Shining Armor is accidentally transformed into a little, blank flanked filly. In order to hide her mistake while she tries to find a solution, Shining Armor must live as Twilight's little cousin Gleaming Shield. Things get worse when the Cutie Mark Crusaders meet the new filly and decide she needs to join their group in their adventures around town.

Thanks to DDRMASTERM for taking the time to edit the story

I'd heard about the TV show My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic from my college roommate who is way too into the show. Disturbingly so, actually, but good gravy I would never watch the darned thing! What am I, five? I've got better things to do with my time than watch a silly little girl's show. However, that didn't stop... something from transporting me into the world of the show, so here I am... in Equestria... trying to get home. This is gonna be interesting.

Special thanks to GuyFace, Jack Kellar, Storm Shaker, Spiffy McSquee, and Goober Trooper for helping me with this one!

So I got in a car crash and the hospital put me under for surgery. The next thing I know, I wake up as a small pony with wings. And I can't see. And it's freaking cold up here.

At least I've still got my smokes.

(Got the idea from the funny picture. Rated T for language and tobacco use.)