Knock, knock.
"Jay?" It's Twilight. "Is everything all right in there?"
"Yes."
"Are you sure you don't want any help?"
"Yes," I answer through my teeth.
"C'mon Twi, leave him alone for now." I hear Rainbow say behind her.
Receding hoofsteps.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Man, I'm glad that's over. Walking back to the upper landing with this body that is most emphatically not mine, I hear Twilight and Rainbow talking quietly by the foot of the stairs.
"You mean you gave him a Changeling test, too?" Rainbow is upset. "He's way too cool to be one of those lovesuckers! Besides, would a Changeling ever come right out and say he wasn't who he looked like?"
I frown. What the hell is a Changeling?
"I understand how you feel, Rainbow Dash,” Twilight says patiently, “But how can I believe a story like that without doing any research? And it can’t be a coincidence that she looks exactly like Snowdrop. If it wasn’t for that, I would say she was just a filly who believed she was someone else. The results of the ponygraph support that hypothesis. But…”
Rainbow sounds bored already. “But?”
“Some of the biological tests were inconclusive. We both know that Changelings have posed as important ponies in the past…”
“Ones that lived a gajillion years ago?!”
“…And we also know they’re not particularly intelligent,” Twilight is firm. “The invasion was only a few weeks ago. I didn't think she was one of them, either. I just wanted to be sure. You remember the wedding rehearsal, don't you?"
"Yeah..."
"I just don't want anything like that to happen again.”
I don’t know anything about a wedding, but I think Twilight’s saying I’m either delusional or one of those things from Star Trek. That’s not very reassuring. Sure wish I had something more than a funny story and a few cuss words to prove who I was.
Wait, I do have something! I reach into my mane and whip out the pack of smokes.
Yeah. It's something, all right. But it's the one damn thing I can’t give away. These are all I have left from home. Spike can be trusted, mostly because he doesn’t care what I do--but the last thing I want is to show them to a pony researcher so they can learn exactly what’s in them and how to make more. I feel bad enough about that one I dropped into the cloud. Hopefully no one found it.
"Twi, what you did there was a good thing,” Rainbow’s voice carries easily up the stairs. “You were going with your gut. And you were totally right about Cadence. We just weren't paying attention. Imagine me not paying attention, huh?" She laughs weakly. "My bad."
"Rainbow, you have nothing to apologize for," Twilight tries to placate her, but she doesn’t answer. “Maybe I’ll check on Jay just one more time.”
Crap. Better get down there! I walk slowly around the corner where they can see me.
"Hello, Jay! Is everything...um..." Twilight trails off.
"Fine," I say flatly. "Everything’s fine. Can we get on with the book now?"
The stairs are a lot to handle with four legs right now, so Rainbow gives me a lift down to the first floor. I join them at the little round table, feeling the tingle of unicorn magic as Twilight turns to a new page. It’s still distracting, but after all the tests this afternoon I’m starting to get used to it.
She’s reading me some more about Equestrian history, mostly the Battle of the Two Sisters. It’s not that I don’t care, but it’s hard to process all of that stuff this late at night. What I will remember is Twilight’s conviction as she recites every word. Reading, learning stuff, and instructing others is what really makes her happy, not so much hanging out with other ponies.
Now Rainbow, she’s as different from Twi as you can get. She’s all about instinct, action, competition, having a good time. Hearing her yawn in the background, I realize she’s only hanging around here this late because of me. Plus she believes me--more than Twilight does, at any rate. Even if she won’t stop calling me “kid.”
How did these two get to be friends? Not just with each other, but all the other ponies they mentioned? An animal lover, a fashion designer, a farmer, and that crazy singing girl we ran into…hell if I know what they have in common.
I’m still wondering about it, and starting to exchange deep yawns with Rainbow, when something else gets my attention. “Hold it. Do you guys hear something?”
Twilight stops reading. A rustle as Rainbow Dash perks up next to me. Beyond that, there’s…something outside. A low rumble like a train in the distance.
“I don’t hear anything,” Twilight whispers.
“Wait. I think I hear it too,” Rainbow and I both listen hard. It’s getting closer now…lots of voices, hooves on the ground.
“Over there,” I point to where it’s coming from. The front door.
“I’ll take a look out the window,” Twilight trots away. Moments later, she gasps. “Oh my gosh. What are all those ponies doing out there? It looks like everyone in Ponyville is coming! Princess Celestia said she would let me complete the tests..."
Rainbow's mane brushes my ear as she looks at me. I turn to her with a sinking feeling.
"PINKIE," we say in unison.
“Oh, hay. She must’ve been running all over town with that ‘resurrection party’ stuff!”
“I guess it was going to get out sooner or later,” I sigh. “Twilight, you can’t transform me into a non-famous pony, can you? Maybe taller, a little more muscle…”
“That may not be a bad idea for the future,” Twilight says as some…pony knocks excitedly on the door. “But I’m sure I can explain to them that it’s all a big misunderstanding.”
I hear her open the door just a crack. “Everypony? Attention, please!“ A massive cheer goes up, ponies scream my name (well, Snowdrop's name), and a whole lot of something blows inside, peppering my face and getting caught in my wings. Twi quickly shuts the door again.
“Or not,” says Rainbow.
I spit and rub at my eyes. “What is this junk? It’s all over me.”
“Confetti. Classic Pinkie Pie.”
“Geez, thanks for the save,” I stick my tongue out at her.
She nudges me playfully. “Hey, I already took a cake for you!”
We both quiet down as Twilight takes control. “All right, let’s try another way. Jay, you look exhausted. Let Rainbow take you up to my room so you can rest.”
I’ll take her word for how I look, but I do feel pretty worn out. Another encounter with Pinkie Pie just might kill me, no pun intended. “Are you sure?”
“We’re sure, buddy,” Rainbow says. “C’mon, let’s go.”
Reluctantly, I let her pick me up. Pins and needles, a loud sizzling noise, and a burnt-toast smell follow us up the stairs.
“Hey! What'd she just do?”
“Teleported. She’ll be back.”
“You’re kidding,” I snicker. “…You’re kidding, right?”
“Nope. She’s like the most powerful unicorn around. Nopony can get in here if Twi doesn’t want ‘em. Except for Pinkie, and we’re going out to talk to her right now,” she sets me down on a bed that feels way too soft to be real. “Catch some Z’s, kid.”
“Quit calling me that,” I stifle another yawn. “Um…will you be around here tomorrow?”
“’Course I will!” she says protectively. “’Cause I was gonna show Twi and the others an awesome new trick anyway. You know.”
“I know.”
“See you in the morning, kid.”
Before I can tell her not to call me that, she’s gone.
Ever notice how when you really want to fall asleep, you never can? As the noise of the crowd dies down outside and everyone goes home, I try to relax by counting the snores that drift up from Spike’s basket. Won’t he be surprised to see me here when he wakes up.
“Damn it Snowdrop,” I mutter into the pillow. Then I chuckle, in spite of myself. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that--hearing a little girl swear like a sailor, then realizing it was me. “Come on, you gotta sleep sometime.”
If I fall asleep and I’m still here when I wake up, I’ll know that it’s all real, right? And if I wake up someplace else, such as in a hospital bed with doctors looking down at me…well, that’s just as well and I’ll deal with it if it comes. I want to know if I’m still alive in the human world, to see who came to visit me in the hospital. Dad must have made it down there by now. And Art, the head coach I work with at the school. At least some of the players would be right there with him.
I wonder if Beth will be there.
It’s while thinking of her, her flowers and her dance classes and how she whistled off-key in the shower, that I finally start to drift.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Briggs, I don’t know any other way to tell you this,” I say. “That’s not a live grenade he’s throwing at you, all right? It’s just a football. It’s not gonna hurt you. Don’t think about it all the way down the field, because you second-guess yourself. Just catch it.”
“Okay, coach,” Briggs nods. He’s a tall lanky kid, a prototypical receiver. Good speed, great hands; he just doesn’t have the mental game down yet.
“All right. Go long again, same route.” He does. I’m me, and I can see again, but I don’t really notice.
I turn to Jarvez. He’s our quarterback, short but powerful with a cannon arm. “Fire when ready, Jarv.”
He does, hurling the ball downfield and hitting Briggs on a perfect corner route. Catch!
“YEAH! That’s more like it, kid!” I yell. “Hell of a throw too, Jarv. Sling it like that on Friday night and Wooddale won’t stand a chance.”
“Thanks, coach. But don’t you have something to take care of at home?”
“What?” I turn back to him. He’s gone, and so is the field.
I’m standing in my kitchen. Not the tiny one in my apartment. The one in the house, when we were together.
“Beth?” I call out.
No answer. It’s so quiet. She must not be home right now. I drift, rather than walk, through the living room. It’s a lot cleaner than it was when I lived here. Up the stairs now where I find the bedroom door closed. I open it.
It’s as empty as the other rooms, but it seems more alive. Stars brighter than any I’ve ever seen glitter outside the windows, and moonlight streams through them, bathing everything in a strange glow. As I watch, the light begins to cast itself, to take its own shape, until it becomes something I can only call a pony. She is dark as the night, all shades of blue and black. She looks odd, almost cartoonish, but I know she’s real.
“Stranger! Thou art dreaming.” Her voice is proud and angry with something else behind it, something painful. She radiates power; I can feel my nerves buzzing with it. Definitely not a lady to mess with. “And We, Princess Luna of the Night and seer of all dreams, desire to speak with thee AT ONCE!”
Gulp.
oh poo. you stop it on a cliff hanger!
Moon! Here comes the... Moon! Ready or not, here come the mare from the moon!... Fwahahaha... Jay is going to be in a truck full of misunderstanding, isn't he?
Ah yes, the 'Pinkie's stupidity ruining things' cliche, I love it! Top marks. Its stories like this that help me keep the fire of Pinkie hate alive and well in my heart. I require additional up-vote buttons!
Oh god... This may or may not be good for Jay.
Cliffhanger? Why must you do this to us?!
5778471 I'm headcanoning it as these because I CAN
c4.staticflickr.com/4/3419/3296287053_802d17b2c9_n.jpg
A.) Perique is amazing. B.) it's got lil' wings on it
Well fuck you too RD! You don't remember last Thursday at the Salt Lick? Yeah sure, fine, I was drunk but I tell ponies I'm a changeling all the time. You get WAY more food from the pity me angle then the try and take it by force angle.
Eh, point. Queens can overlook the details and drones are basically animals but the rest of us are... oh god you don't know we have biological castes do you? Here I'll fix this, the integral sec y dy from zero to one-sixth of pi is log to base e of the square root of three times the sixty-fourth power of i.
Now go read up on our species Book Horse.
Can't wait for the next chapter
Oh shit, Jay's in trouble.
Love the constant updates btw, I don't mind the short chapters as long as we get them sooner than later.
Goddammit, Luna...
Oh shit, Jay's in hot water.....
5778808
... Did you just... You did!
You just limericked a math problem!
I'd tell you how many kinds of awesome that is, but FimFic doesn't support arrow notation.
5778922
I thank you for saying that you think I am equal to A factored by G,
Where A is for awesome, and G... well,
if you shall permit me:
G is equil to the sixty-forth power of f times four,
Where f of n is equil to 3↑ to the nth power, times three.
(Graham's Number, for those who find math a chore.)
I do say I must disagree with a number so far ranging,
Such vastness of count implies I am more then what I am,
A silly nerd of a changeling.
[youtube=https://youtube/9w6Wa0W2y_o]
when he smokes during the day, it's tobacco, by night it's cannabis!
(I wonder how drug tests would work...)
*checks Apple juice supply*
Ey! Still got a little more juice, keep writing!
1. What the fuck is all this math bullshit in the comments
2. God dammit, a cliffhanger.
Loved the update, I looked forward to it ALL day My only complaint is it felt so SO Short lol. I am highly looking forward to Snowdrop talking to Luna
Needs more dubstep..... and lighting. But ya keep going on this,is good no?
Yay! Resurrection party!
Not now, Pinkie....
Okay! I'll come back tomorrow!
Anyways, that was a nice way to end the day for Jay and the gang. Not only that, but I love how the story ends with Jay dreaming and Luna suddenly entering his dreams. I wonder if Luna is seeing Jay as a human or as Snowdrop, though? I'm thinking it's the former, and if it is, I would love to see how Luna will react with a human inside a filly's dreams.
I thought I wouldn't like this, but gave it a shot anyway and was pleasantly surprised. Reminds me of "Through the Eyes of Another Pony", which is ironic now that I think about it.
God damned r63 sneaks up on you between chapters.
Is that a swear? I never knew thay... always thought when people say swearing llike a sailor and stiff they meant real swears like fuck, shit, cunt, fagget, (maybe) crap and all that stuff
meh... i've heard worse title names.
Is it bad that I want to slap you for a cliffhanger?
5780531 That was intentional. Rainbow believes Jay, or at least respects his wishes, so she refers to him as a guy. Twilight believes what she can observe and prove with tests, so she refers to Jay as a girl. Differing perspectives.
5780636 Swearing like a sailor by Equestrian standards, at least. Jay wouldn't be as easy to like if he went around dropping f-bombs all the time. At least not to me.
5779985
Come back in three days.
40.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxuyq4hERJ1r3k1m8o1_500.png
Fake chapter ideas!
*Jay jumps over a shark
*Jay appears in a Truth commercial
*Jay and Snowdrop have a hoof/fist fight for control of her body
*Snowdrop makes a Horcrux
(One of these will turn out to be somewhat true. )
Okay, okay, back to writing.
I'm gonna re-favorite this story to put it back on top (or somewhere along there) of my Faves list again.
He's gotta train his hearing if he needs to survive.
Really enjoying this, and I don't normally go for Comedy.
Funnyist fic ever and hehaha keep up the cursing and have luna go nuts about the fact hes in the body if her oldest friend
Not a fan if HIE but this is funny. Thumbs up!
5785542 Heh don't worry she will soon be a Non-Smoker, A Pack of Cig's only has 20 in a pack (i know I am a former smoker) and once they are gone, they are gone
Monumentally good. The only problem with a story like this is that it's really hard to find an ending that suits. Still...one of the best stories I've seen on Fim. Please try to make chapter 5 as quickly as possible.
5782579 the more realistic one would probably be the fight for control of the body, the other plausible one could be the hoarcrux.
But this is a fictional story anything could happen!
I just... man not only did this ruin it for me but its kinda hard to really enjoy human stories now... this really killed it for me. No more human stories.
5785610 Unless you're Firewall.
I imagine she might be a tad irritated someone is 'mocking' the image of her dear friend. Hmhmhm~
Found by image of past wonder,
circling the nighttime
with the safest embrace offered through darkness.
Let it find your soon;
may it sway your heart to something far more fantastic.
Make this change a wonder adoring,
resting blissfully and searching no longer for purpose.
We shall read on.
5786976
Why? I thought this was one of the better ones.
Yeah Luna, bulling a little filly? You are not best princess anymore.
(Couldn't she...couldn't she fix his eyes while she's at it?)
How to stop someone younger than you from calling you kid... call them kid.
Oh come on Luna, you just ruined a perfectly good dream. And for someone who can only see in their dreams, that's kinda a big deal.