Canon Deleted Scene: Talents
I know that I promised the Mirror Pool and worry not, IT IS STILL COMING!!!!
Talent show night. I must admit that I've been looking forward to this one for a while. All of the kids are getting together tonight to showcase their talents and it could not be more adorable. Oof, maybe these kids are getting to me. But I mean, try hanging out with Dinky, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and Twist for four months and see how much you hate life.
Er, where am I going with this? Oh yes, the kids, Cheerilee, and I are all backstage getting ready for the show. Rarity has made costumes for a lot of them and I'll give props to Rarity, they look nice... sorry, spectacular. Yes, that's the exact word that she insisted that I use at all times to describe her costumes... dang it, ensembles for the kids.
Shaking my head at Rarity being Rarity, I walk over to the Crusaders who are all wearing some sort of piratey outfit.
"So, what is your act again? You've been refusing to tell me," I say.
The Crusaders all hush up and turn in my direction with innocent smiles that I am far from being influenced by. "We ain't tellin' ya, remember?" says Apple Bloom.
"Yeah! It's a surprise!" agrees Sweetie Belle.
"And maybe if it's a good enough surprise, we'll get our cutie marks!" says Scootaloo excitedly.
The other two Crusaders agree and I smirk and decide to let them be if they do really want to surprise me with it. Knowing them, they'll have something... interesting planned.
I walk over to Cheerilee who has the rest of the kids gathered over to her and she is going over the order one last time before the show starts.
"--and Snips and Snails will come on before Dinky and Featherweight..." Cheerilee frowns and leans it to examine the list closer. "Uh, Dinky and Featherweight will apparently be explaining String Theory and Quantum Physics with Pinkie Pie and her Party Cannon...
Huh... I'll... I'll... I kind of want to see that one. I will, of course, because I'm going to be in the audience, something also at the insistence of the Crusaders.
Cheerilee looks back up and shakes her head. "So, you all know your places so the first act had better get into their designated spots. The curtain comes up in five minutes so good luck to you all! I know you're going to do great!"
I smile and walk towards the audience where I quickly take my spot with the Mane Six between Rainbow Dash and Rarity.
The latter turns to me and shows me her program. "So you've seen them rehearse, how are my sister and her friends going to do?" she asks.
I shrug and glance over the program. "I have no idea. They won't let me see what they're up to so this is going to be just as much of a surprise to me as it is to you. Do you know what they're doing?"
"No idea," says Rarity. "They seemed really excited about it, though."
I chuckle just as the lights go off and the crowd immediately hushes up. We see a bit of commotion behind the curtain and in a few seconds, Cheerilee pops out and addresses the crowd with a smile. "Good evening mares and gentlecolts. On behalf of my entire class, I'd like to welcome you to the annual talent show celebration! Now, the foals have all been working really hard on their acts and I know without a doubt that you will all really enjoy what they have prepared for you tonight!" Cheerilee stops and pokes her head back through the curtain. She has a brief whispered conversation with whoever is on the other side before addressing the audience again. "Our first act comes to you courtesy of Snips and Snails who will be performing a magic act that will no doubt dazzle you!"
"It'll probably be better than what Trixie pulled off," muttered Rainbow Dash to Pinkie Pie's amusement. Even I managed a smirk as I have heard the stories.
Well, the night went on pretty much as expected. The kids did a decent job with no acts really blowing me away unless you count the adorable factor. These ponies will be the death of me.
Well, since the acts weren't any longer than five minutes, it didn't take too long for the Crusaders to come onstage.
"What on earth are they dressed as?" muttered Rarity. I broke out into a smile at their costumes. In addition to their piratey outfits, Apple Bloom is sporting the most spectacular fake mustache that I have ever seen on anything ever. Seriously, it's a sight to behold.
Apple Bloom walks to the front of the stage and addresses the crowd. "Good evenin' mares, gentlecolts, and human bein's. Tonight we wanna honor a special guest int he crowd tonight. Ah know y'all have seen him around, doin' stuff like washin' windows since that's his job and all, but every now and again he comes to our school and teaches us all 'bout where he comes from!
So, tonight we decided that we want to thank him for that by singin' him a song that he says that he used to sing when he was a little colt. He taught it to us a while ago but we liked it so much that we remembered the lyrics and were gonna sing it for ya tonight!"
With that, Apple Bloom nods to her friends and music stars up from somewhere. The three clear their throats and begin the song.
"We are the pirates, who don't do anything
we just stay home and lie around.
And if you ask us to do anything
We'll just tell you..."
"We don't do anythin'," says Apple Bloom.
... no. Freaking. Way. Is this seriously happening? Wow, they have good memories, I taught them that song months ago.
My jaw is on the floor and I'm trying to register just what they're singing. I can vaguely hear the crowd laughing along with the song, but I'm just... just...
Holy moley, this is awesome. These kids are the best!
"Well, I've never plucked a rooster
And I'm not too good at ping ball
And I’ve never thrown my mashed potatoes
Up against the wall
And I’ve never kissed a chipmunk
And I’ve never gotten head lice
And I’ve never been to Boston in the fall.
" sings Scootaloo.
As if on cue, Apple Bloom shoots her friend the most bewildered look and they go into the part where they argue about whether or not they're supposed to be singing about piratey things, as well as Sweetie Belle insisting that Apple Bloom looks like Cap'n Crunch. Of course, I doubt she knows what that means but I do and that's good enough for them.
Wow. This... this may just be the best thing that's happened to me since I got here.
As Apple Bloom chases Sweetie Belle around the stage, Scootaloo starts her final verse.
"And I’ve never licked a spark plug
And I’ve never sniffed a stinkbug
And I’ve never painted daises
On a big red rubber ball
And I’ve never bathed in yogurt
And I don’t look good in leggings."
There is a pause in the song, filled by Pinkie Pie's giggles.
"That's so weird, because I've done all of those things!"
The crowd laughs at her comment and even the Crusaders have to take a moment to get the smiles off of their faces, but when they do, they finish their song with an epicness that only fillies singing 'The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything' can achieve.
Yeah, they get a standing ovation from the crowd, led by me as I've frankly never been this touched in my entire life. It is almost worth being stuck in Equestria just to hear them sing that to me and clearly have a blast with it themselves.
Almost.
Seriously, though, these kids are freaking awesome.
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This is just a short little scene in preparation for the Mirror Pool. If you thought that the latest D.O.R.K.S scene was epically hilarious... you ain't seen nothing yet.
The more you know!
...
And wish you didn't!
VEGGIE TALES IFNFMVCIDNFJDOGMJTM YESS SO MUCH WIN
I sang the ENTIER song along in my head
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For some reason this is how i feel.
BRILLIANT!!! and man does that song bring me back XDD
you need to make this canon! Please make this a full chapter worthy of being put into the story!
1970250
You brilliant bastard. How dare you be so awesome and not include Rainbow dash as the lead!
Nope, definitely no changelings around here
1970250
I have a snarky comment about your statement somewhere around here.
Veggie Tales? Okay... Go on...
Damn, Cheerilee's all ready for Dinky and Featherweight's show.
Correction. YOU ARE THE BEST.
VEGGIE TALES!!!
Veggie Tales. Oh my, the memories. And if TD gets cloned a million times I will die of laughter, have my bank account placed in your name, and dance. In THAT ORDER.
Also what are veggie tales? Hippie propaganda cereal?
1970497 Christian propaganda vegetables.
Funny, when I did watch Veggie tales as a kid I never made the link to Christianity. Just thought they were stories just like every other cartoon, albeit more sucky than anything on Toonami.
Veggie Tales?
Wow, you're making me feel old mate.
And we've never been to Boston in the fall.
At least you're doing something productive while procrastinating; I just watch Zero Punctuation.
Good lord VEGGITAAAALES VEGGITALES! Lima beans! Collard Greens! Peachy Keen! Veggitales! God dang Brony Writer that was AMAZING! I was reading the song and about two lines in it hit me and i busted out in full song XD GENIOUS!
1970260
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That defiantly sounds like something the crusaders would do. Well done and nice choice of song.
Pinkie has been in Boston in the fall?
She has some explaining to do...
edit:
Wait, I re-read that part and realized she only meant that group of stuff.
Well,
theres goes the wall(s)
Holy shit, that song was my childhood right there
I love that song!
1970660 They're still making them.
Youtube wouldn't load it all the way for me, but the comments for the video assure me that it is quite funny.
And now, for something similar, yet epically different. (Just music, though)
...... This is immediately one of my favorite chapters ever.
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I applaud you sir! I don't remember much of the Veggie Tales from my youth, but even I remember that.
Wow, I didn't know The Pirates who Don't Do Anything was so popular outside a Christian audience.
"...No. Freaking. Way."
This is exactly what I said as I read the first stanza, word for word. Brony Writer, that is uncanny.
Ciao darling
Veggie Tales.
YOU, SIR, MAY HAVE ALL MY LIKES
TAKE THEM!!!
TAKE THEEMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!
Now all you need is The Wiggles...
Just when I thought I had seen it all you throw a fucking veggie tales reference at me
You may be the best without ever
Amazing TASKFORCE [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?nomobile=1&v=8m5CIcbytfM]
Yarr harrr harr!
I only know
"Do what you want 'coz a pirate is free! You are a pirate!" and "What shall we do with a drunken sailor?"
Jeez, when I was younger, I was that weird as fuck kid who hated all the children's shows except Cartoon Network. So I never did like Veggie Tales, but that reference sure of hell made me laugh. By the way, I still stick to CN only, only clicking onto the Hub for MLP.
Veggie Tales, man... Is it wrong that I can see the CMC doing this?
Never saw that vegi tales stuff, but that sounded really adorable. Someone needs to make a PNG of that or something.
Varied opinions on Big Idea aside, nobody, nor Pony, can deny the absolute classicness of VeggieTales!
And if they try, more's the pity.
You do indeed rawk, sir. That was heartwarming to the full.
Oh my goodness...I...I think I love you...
I couldn't believe what I was reading. When I had finally proven to myself that it was indeed true, I had to resist the urge to jump around and dance in giddy joy. You are the best ever at everything. This was one of my all-time favorite songs as a kid and...just...so many memories...
Never stop being awesome. Thanks for doing this.
1971720 I think I love you too. These videos are amazing.
1971695 Unfortunately, Big Idea went out of business a little while ago. I forgot the details, but it was something like they couldn't pay off a contract they made for a Veggietales theme park and had to go out of business. We shall miss you, Big Idea, both Veggietales and 3,2,1 Penguins.
In regards to this story: YESSSSSSS! VEGGIETALES!!! We have the complete soundtrack for that movie. Before Veggietales: Jonah came out, our family had literally every episode in the series. Now, we barely have any. But the soundtrack to Jonah is awesome. We even have all 12 grades in Billy Joe McGuffrey.
And I finish off with one thing:
This is the song,
Which runs under the credits
These are the credits
So this is where it goes
Has nothing to do with the movie so we say:
Hey, hey, heyheyheyheyheyhey.
Veggie Tales for the win!
Oh, by the way:
Dinky and Featherweight's act must have blown a hole in the timestream.
Yes, it took me this long to read this chapter. Too many updates!
ALL MY YESSSSSSS!!!
This was a win. It would be better if it was 'You are a Pirate.'
"--and Snips and Snails will come on before Dinky and Featherweight..." Cheerilee frowns and leans it to examine the list closer. "Uh, Dinky and Featherweight will apparently be explaining String Theory and Quantum Physics with Pinkie Pie and her Party Cannon...
My Celestia I will pay a full three Internets for that line!!!!
Quantum Physics FTW
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Why??? BECAUSE
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I...will not say I love you, because that would be awkward. But...when I got to the best Veggie Tales song of all times, both I and my brother (who is reading over my shoulder. He's creepy like that) burst out laughing for a good 20 seconds, attracting the attention of my parents (who were in the room, and only gave me even wierder looks when I said I read Veggies with ponies.) Sung by my OTHER favorite TV trio of all time...there goes my bucket list.
More lulz=best author