• Published 26th Oct 2014
  • 32,585 Views, 3,010 Comments

My Twilight Facade - axelsempai



Suddenly, I'm Twilight Sparkle and I don't want to be here.

  • ...
100
 3,010
 32,585

PreviousChapters Next
Impending Crisis

Another morning meant another delicious breakfast. Spike crunched on pancakes with gems in them, drenched in maple syrup. My pancakes, while free of gems, had just as much syrup. Slices of toast didn't last long on the table, glasses of juice drained quickly, and even the pancakes couldn't withstand our coordinated devouring barrage.

It was a happy and healthy meal as far as we were concerned.

Magic flashed throughout the kitchen, setting every plate, pan, and fork in the sink to soak. Breakfast and dishes done, Spike and I made way to the living room.

"I think you're getting better at pancakes." Spike remarked with a pat of his stomach.

"You think so?" I had a tiny smile at the praise.

"Yeah! After all, you put emeralds in the batter."

I chuckled lightly. "I thought you'd like that."

I flashed my magic again, opening the lectern holding onto some stray parchment containing what we needed to do around the house.

"Okay, we need to get some more sugar. It keeps disappearing for some reason..."

"I can handle that!" Spike volunteered readily.

"Alright, then. Here's some bits." I flashed a few gold coins onto the table.

Spike scooped them into his claw. "Is there anything else we need while I'm out?"

"Oh, we need more bleach!" I remembered.

Spike nodded, then frowned in thought. "Couldn't you use magic to clean the toilet without a cleaner?"

"Yeah, but I like the way it smells when bleach permeates the air."

Spike narrowed his eyes. I shrugged. "Okay, I guess I'll get some bleach, then."

"Make sure to get the bargain brand. You'll spend fewer bits so you can get something you want out there."

Spike smiled. "Thanks, Dusk! You're the greatest."

"Anytime," Spike walked off, so I withdrew another parchment to check its contents. It was awfully nice of Spike to volunteer to do shopping trips so much. It's no wonder why I've taken to giving a little more than necessary.

Wait a minute...

"Hey Spike," I called as he opened the door. He turned to face me in the doorway. "You haven't been doing all the shopping around here because you know I'll give a little extra, have you?"

Spike darted his eyes in one directions real quick before staring straight at me. "...Yes?" He admitted.

"Playing the system, huh?" I smirked. "You're learning well. Here." I summoned another pair of coins into his claw.

Spike practically beamed at the reward. "Thank you!"

Spike ran off like he just stole a watch. I shook my head with a laugh and shut the door behind him. While he was out, no doubt about to shop for something to splurge on, I still had my duties to fulfill. My newest list only had the titles of a few books that needed shelving. I levitated each book into its proper place. Simple task, only five seconds long.

Then I tallied the days that other books have been out. We were still over a week from anything being overdue, so I was fresh out of things I needed to do.

It just then hit me that I needed to check the mail. I popped outside for just the moment I needed to take out the single envelope inside. The front had four sets of writing on the front, each proclaiming the author. It was a letter from my friends in Canterlot: Minuette, Lemon Hearts, Twinkleshine, and Moon Dancer.

I settled into my chair at the lectern, gently opening the letter in my magic and reading what they all had to say.

Hey Twilight!

Judging from the opening alone, it had to be written primarily by Minuette.

Things have been pretty busy since you left! Lemon had this great idea to see a play at the theater, and we all totally agreed. Moon Dancer hasn't been out in a while, so we figured we could go out to have some fun! Girls night out!

I found myself whooping at the sentiment. I wonder why.

Anyway, the play was really good. Have you ever seen Happily Never After? It's about those foal's stories where there's a happily ever after, but it really wasn't, so all the couples go to marriage counseling.

I had to say, I liked the idea.

Even Moon Dancer was howling with laughter the whole time! (I was not literally howling. -Moon Dancer.) It was a lot of fun.

Then we went roller-blading! You should see me in the rink; I look like I belong on professional circuits!

I rolled my eyes at the boast. I somehow doubt Minuette was that good. A good portion of the letter was scribbled out for some reason.

Sorry, the others don't want me to tell you what happened at the cucumber festival. It was really funny, but it was really embarrassing, too.

What could have been so embarrassing? This was going to nag at me all day.

Anyway, how have things been going in Ponyville? We really want to hear from you again! It already feels like forever since you visited. What's it like being a bookworm librarian? How's Spike? We have so many questions!

Looking forward to your correspondence,

Your Friends.

Sounds like they were having a good time. I smiled and pushed aside the letter. It's gladdening to hear from them again, so I couldn't resist grabbing a quill and writing back. I opened with a casual greeting, returning their enthusiasm and thinking of what I could relate to them. I thought the brunch the other day was a good topic, so my quill scratched out the beginning of my tale. I figured it would be a pretty good idea to keep the private conversation I had with the princess a secret, though, so all they would ever know about was the fun bits: an awkward set-up, an anonymous bird snatching, and my experience with getting arrested. That would be good for a laugh.

Somepony knocked at the door. I set the quill into the inkwell for the time being, and got up to answer the door.

The door slid open with my magic. "Welcome to the Golden Oaks Library. How can I help you?"

Of the two ponies outside, the first one before me was a white coated stallion a little taller than I was. His two-toned blue mane parted down behind his head, and his cerulean eyes shone with familiarity.

That was about all I could make out before he rushed forward and latched onto me with a tight hug. "Twiley!"

As tight as he was squeezing, I should have had trouble breathing. Lots of physical training has left me stronger than that, so it wasn't the force of his affection that had me stunned. I had a little trouble wrapping my head around the sudden turn of events. It's like I was expecting Bon Bon or that Octavia chick to be coming over for something, and one of Twilight's many Canterlot friends showed up to check on her, instead.

Crap, that's what was happening, wasn't it? He even had a cutesy nickname for her.

He withdrew from the hug and smiled down at me. "Whoa, Twilight, when'd you get so buff?"

I looked over the guy one more time, getting a real good look. As I thought, I had no idea who he was. He was pretty cute, though. Hell, I'm not even attracted to ponies, and seeing this guy made something in me feel warm and tingly. I shrugged nervously at his question. "About the time we stopped seeing each other, I guess."

The mystery stallion nodded. "It's definitely paid off. By the way, guess who else is here?"

I pretended to be excited about the reveal, as opposed to the dread I felt. He stepped aside and revealed a pink alicorn. Seriously, another alicorn? Where did she even come from, and how come I never heard about her? I could have sworn there was just the two, and this pretty little number shows up out of nowhere, with a sparkling smile and excited pink eyes. And with that gold regalia of hers, she was definitely a third princess. Just my luck that Twilight had close ties with all three of the most powerful ponies in the land, and most likely to crucify me hilariously if my act went wrong.

I smiled away my thoughts and pretended to know who she was. "Oh my God, I can't believe it!"

The anonymous alicorn stepped forward and giggled. "It's been so long, Twilight!" She leaned down to my level. "Ready?"

"Uh..."

Before I could ask, she launched right into "it". "Sunshine sunshine," She chanted, prancing in place. "Ladybugs awake!" She lied down and covered her eyes with her hooves, popping them off like she was playing peek-a-boo. "Clap your hooves," She did so. "And do a little shake!" She punctuated the ritual with a shake of her rear.

I looked her up and down, trying to make sense of it. "What the hell was that?"

Her smile diminished a bit at the question. "Oh, you don't remember our hoofshake? It's funny, we used to do it every time we saw each other."

Crap, she was really familiar with Twilight. "Sorry, I guess I just haven't been thinking about it. I just remember how much... fun we had together?"

"I'm just glad you haven't forgotten about me!" She said with a laugh. I joined in with a more wry sense of humor. "So, can we come in?"

"Sure," I cleared the way for these two complete strangers to enter my home. I shot one last look around outside to see if Spike got turned around or something. No such luck; I was on my own.

The stallion scanned the room. "So, this is your library, huh? I have to say, this looks like your kind of paradise." His gaze stopped upon my shrine to Beifong. "Uh, what's that?"

"You like it? I made it when I tried my hoof at sculpting."

"It looks very nice." The mare complimented. "I think you did a marvelous job."

"Thanks, it's pretty easy to do when you have magic. Anyway, you two want to take a seat while I grab some some drinks? We got all kinds of stuff."

"Can I get a tea?" The alicorn asked.

"Water will be fine for me." The stallion said.

"Gotcha."

While they sat themselves, I went into the kitchen to fix some tea. I went through the motions, not really paying attention, since I was more focused on coming up with some kind of plan. These two ponies would catch on if I wasn't careful. If only there was some way to get their names and relations, then things would get a lot easier.

As I set the water on the stove, a bag rustled on the table behind me. I saw Pinkie Pie, once more sneaking into my kitchen with no obvious point of entry, with an energy drink can. She was pouring a bag of sugar into it with a funnel.

Pinkie smiled and waved enthusiastically. "Good morning, Twilight!"

I eyed the bag of sugar ruefully, now understanding where it's all been going. "Good morning. Having a jump start to your day?"

"Yep! How did you know I jumped out of bed this morning?"

"I'm a good guesser. In any case, I trust you're doing okay?"

"Yep yep! The Cakes are letting me have a day to myself so the Missus can see the doctor about her tummy again, so I figured that I can spend the day on the smartest pony in Ponyville! Hi, smartest pony!" She greeted again.

"Well, if you want to waste your day, that's your prerogative." I joked.

"Aw, my day is never wasted with you!" She hopped right over the kitchen table in one bound, clattering her funnel and an empty bag of sugar onto the floor. She landed with impossible grace, only pausing in midair to down her energy drink in one gulp and pat me on the shoulder.

"Always an optimist." I remarked gladly. The teabag was set into the water, doing whatever teabags do in hot water. Seep? Yeah, let's go with that.

"So what are you going to do today?" Pinkie hunched over, tail twirling above her excitedly.

This was actually perfect. With Pinkie here with nothing to do, she could be the savior I needed to get through this meeting with Twilight's lost friends. If I could get her to introduce herself to those two in the living room, I could get their names and pretend everything was fine!

"Actually, I have some company over. They're new in town, and I'm sure they would love to meet you."

Pinkie gasped dramatically. "New ponies? I love new ponies!"

"Great, they're in the other room!" I stood next to the kitchen door and pushed it open. "After you."

She darted outside faster than my eyes could follow. Only peering into the other room helped me find her again, where she was hopping around the two confused ponies. "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh! She was right! New ponies!"

The stallion watched the peppy pony warily. "What the- who is this?"

"A good friend of mine." I answered as I entered. "Don't mind her behavior too much."

Pinkie wrapped a hoof around both of them, bringing them in for one-legged hugs that pressed their cheeks together. "You know what I do for new ponies in town?"

"Suffocate them?" Was the stallion's strangled response.

"We party!" Pinkie corrected in a burst of sudden confetti.

The alicorn, pulling away from the hug, giggled at the excited antics. "So Twilight, aren't you going to introduce us?"

"Of course." I claimed, stepping in to put my hoof around Pinkie. "This is my dear friend Pinkie Pie. She's the partiest pony in Ponyville."

"Nice to meet you!" Pinkie greeted. "And I'm super-duperly positively positive that you'll meet lots of friends in Ponyville!"

The stallion chuckled nervously. I can't imagine why, it's just Pinkie Pie. "Well, it's nice to meet you."

They all looked to me expectantly. I waved off their expectations with smooth misdirection. "I think you all should introduce yourselves. You should get to know each other, after all."

The alicorn nodded at the sentiment. "That's a good idea, Twilight." She brought her full attention on Pinkie in an introductory manner. "I'm Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, but you can call me Cadence. I was Twilight's foalsitter even back before she entered into Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns."

Pinkie beamed at the news. "You foalsat Twilight? That's so adorable! I can't wait to hear all kinds of cute stories about it!"

I wasn't too upset about the possibility of Twilight's embarrassing foalhood memories getting leaked. Why would I? It's not like they were mine. Still, this was some cause for concern, considering she was supposed to be the one who supervised me for the greater portion of my life. It goes without saying how nervous that made me.

It only got worse. The stallion brought a hoof to his chest as he introduced himself as well. "And my name's Shining Armor, Twilight's older brother. I'm a guard at the palace, and officially, I'm Cadence's personal bodyguard."

The climate in the library grew ten times thicker than a clear atmosphere has any right to be. Silence reigned more supreme than any monarch, and all was still. In the corner of my eyes, for I was too scared to move them, I examined Pinkie Pie. There was something dark about her. It was a seething, writhing mass that my mortal eyes should not have been able to see. I saw incalculable rage struggling to bubble to the surface, but any outside observer would just see Pinkie Pie sitting perfectly still with a stony smile.

With arduous, monotonous speed, Pinkie's haunting smile and dull eyes bore into me with the strength greater than any drill. "Brother, you say. That's interesting. Hey Twilight, could I speak with you for a moment?"

I rattled in place. Under her withering stare, and the mounting confusion in the pair before us, my fate was certain. I'd be lucky to live past noon.

Strangely, hearing that Shining Armor was my brother made the warm, tingly part of me wither and die.

Author's Note:

I'm back.

Squee? :unsuresweetie:

Something short to help me get back into things.

PreviousChapters Next