Nothing to Fear (But Me)
"...and when their leader agreed to go on a date with Celestia, he was nice enough to call off his troops. The invasion ended when they went on their first date."
I rubbed my eyes out of unbelieving frustration at the story I could barely wrap my head around. "That shouldn't have worked."
"Would you prefer it if my story had us storming their spaceship and destroying it from within?" Luna asked.
"Yes, anything but that fruity power of love crap."
"Well, our sister does prefer romance to battle."
"Pfft, what a weirdo." I said. "I'd much rather fight someone than kiss them."
"We pity whomever desires you as a mate."
"No no no," I corrected. "I just meant that I don't really want to get into any relationships. It's just not my thing."
"So you prefer fighting. Do you like it?"
"Fighting? Yeah."
"So do we. What do you like about fighting the most? I like the rush of a good aerial bombardment."
"I like the feeling of a good punch to the mouth." I stated with a light swing of my fist. "When you connect with their face, you can feel their teeth rattle and dig into your fist. It hurts, but it's just so satisfying."
"Hah! We have to admit to liking that feeling as well! What about you, sir Spike? Is there something you like about battles?"
Spike, walking slightly behind us, shrugged with disinterest. "Never been in a fight."
"'Tis a shame; fighting is much fun."
Looking between us, Spike sighed. "Everypony I know is psycho."
"Psycho, or living on the edge?" I asked. "I'd argue the latter."
"Nothing says sanity like fighting griffins over birthday candles." Spike snarked.
"Heh, guilty as charged!"
Luna and I shared a bit of a laugh at that, but my laughter was cut short when I tripped over a pony bowing to Luna. My face slammed into the ground before I could even react. I pushed myself up and glared at the prone pony. "Hey, watch where you face-plant! People are walking here!"
While the bowing pony paid me no attention, Spike smiled patronizingly at me. "Did somepony hurt themselves?"
"Shut up, Spike." I got up and rubbed the sore spot on my face. "God, that's like the fifth time that's happened."
"'Tis a common annoyance when dealing with the peasantry." Luna lamented.
"I don't think it's nice to say 'peasantry'."
"Then what is the proper modern terminology?"
"I dunno, I haven't put much thought into it."
Luna sighed and looked around the street. Nopony was willing to meet her gaze, for every pony she even came close to looking at dropped down into an awkward bow. "We think it would be best to find something to do with haste. All this bowing is making us nervous. How far until we reach our destination?"
"I still don't have a destination in mind."
Luna's expression soured. "You mean to tell us that you haven't thought of anything after an entire hour?"
"Hey, you're the one who was distracting me with war stories! I was too busy with the mental image of Celestia boning aliens to think of what ponies do for fun around here."
"You asked!"
I rolled my eyes in preparation for another retort, but Pinkie Pie was trotting down the street with her posse of children in tow. She caught my attention with her cheerful calls. Buckets and pails filled with candy hung around every limb, one was even impressively hanging onto the little hook of her mane. "Hey Twilight, good news! Ever since I changed costumes, stallions have been giving me a lot more candy!"
As Pinkie got closer, I realized that she had her eyes closed in that often whimsical way ponies like to do. This had the side-effect of her not noticing anything as she approached, so she walked right up to me effectively blind. Impressive that she didn't trip over any of the ponies still hanging around.
"Hey, that's great." I complimented. "Looks like your last minute changing did some good."
"Definitely!" Pinkie finally opened her eyes and smiled up at me with all the innocence ponies her age shouldn't have. She turned her head and saw Luna for the first time.
I quickly took notice of this being their first formal meeting. "Ah, Pinkie, this is Princess Luna, as I'm sure you know. Luna, this is Pinkie Pie. Pinkie is weird."
"Truly?" Luna said curiously.
Pinkie didn't move. My initial thought was that she zoned out, but she was clearly thinking very hard. It was as if she was working on some kind of conundrum of great importance.
Then she figured on an answer.
Her answer was screaming.
"AAAAAAAGH! NIGHTMARE MOON! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"
Pinkie sprinted off into the distance, leaving behind a long trail of assorted candies. The foals joined in and ran off after Pinkie, followed shortly by every pony else. All was chaos for a brief minute, then all became silence.
I looked around, noting the deserted streets. "Damn, now that's crowd control."
Luna frowned deeply. "Yes. Truly nopony could have fled in fear any faster than they have."
Luna's frown concerned me. "Well, at least nopony is incessantly bowing to you. That's progress, right?"
Luna sagged her head. "We had hoped we could mingle in Ponyville without anypony bringing up Nightmare Moon. It would seem that some ponies still remember."
I remembered how we first met Luna when she was using that name. You couldn't blame her for wanting to forget that. "Yeah, it's too bad."
"We don't want our ponies to fear us, yet this happens." She sighed dejectedly. "We fear too many ponies still hold that against us."
"Right, because they're idiots." I said matter-of-factly.
Luna shot me a curious look. "Excuse us?"
"Listen," I began. "When we first met at the Summer Sun Celebration, we had a rough start. Out of any pony in Ponyville, I was the one with the most experience with you. I was the one who faced danger from your traps and risked injury upon our confrontation. I have the most reason out of any pony to hold a grudge, yet I don't. We became friends despite that stuff. If I can like you after all that, then no one has an excuse to wish you ill. Anyone who does is not important enough to have an opinion."
After a moment of absorbing the speech, Luna smiled. "Thank you for your words of consolation. It is good to hear how you feel about us, even considering our actions towards you."
"Not a problem."
Spike crossed his arms almost confrontationally. "What about Pinkie? Isn't she your friend? You just kinda threw her under the wagon."
"I know Pinkie well enough to know that she doesn't scare that easily." I said. "I don't know what caused that extreme reaction of hers, but I'll talk to her about it later. For now, we actually need to do something fun for this holiday."
"Excellent thinking, Twilight!" Luna exclaimed. "Do you have an idea now?"
"...no." I admitted pitifully.
Before Luna could say anything about that, Spike sighed and pointed down the street. "How about those?"
We turned to see what he meant and were struck with awe. I bobbed my head with appreciation; Luna ooh-ed. Who wouldn't recognize this sweet taste of medieval weaponry? A heavy wooden frame was rooted into the ground on a pivot (an unusual modification for this particular piece of tech), the device's arm pulled way back for easy access to its bucket. A lever was on its side, no doubt as a firing mechanism. This, my friends, was a goddamn Catapult.
"Oh, yeah."
"This must be twice the fun of any other activity." Luna agreed upon closer examination.
I brushed a hand over the extended arm, looking over the catapult with much interest. I whistled with appreciation. "Now this is one sexy siege engine. If ever there was a girl for me, it would be this one."
Spike deadpanned. "You're in love with a catapult?"
"I'd send you the wedding invitations, but tomorrow seems like short notice." I joked.
Luna laughed. "You have good taste, Twilight Sparkle!"
I looked around for some kind of attendant. "Someone's gotta be supervising these things. Is there someone who can give us some ground rules, or can we go hog wild?"
"Ah wish ya wouldn't." Spoke a familiar southern girl.
I looked past the catapult and saw my good friend Applejack dressed as a scarecrow. "AJ! Good to see you! I take it you are looking over these things?"
"Sure am. Wanna give 'er a whirl?" She asked, though you could tell she already knew the answer.
"Yes I do. What's our payload?"
"Just load up one o' them pumpkins over there and aim fer the target over there." Applejack instructed, pointing out both a pile of pumpkins and the targets.
I levitated one of the pumpkins onto the bucket with giddy glee. Luna stepped up next to me as I grabbed hold of the lever. Before I could let 'er loose, Applejack finally noticed Luna. I don't know how you could miss seeing an alicorn as prominent as Luna. Maybe because the catapult was between them until now? Whatever the case, Applejack was willing and able to make a big deal out of it. "P-Princess Luna?"
"Yes, good evening." Luna greeted.
"Er, howdy." Applejack grabbed me by the collar and pulled me down to whisper. "Ah think you should let the princess go first."
"What? No way, I got here first!" I whispered right back.
"But she's a princess, Twi!"
"And I'm Gives-No-Fucks, Argonian herald of Black Marsh. What's your point?"
"Because she's a princess! You have to let her do it!"
Luna interrupted our hushed conversation. "Can we pull the lever now? I eagerly await the splatter of our veggie artillery."
"Go ahead, the honor's all yours." I said to her. I turned to Applejack with a glare. "Happy now?"
"Very much so." Applejack said.
I stood up straight and got into place to watch the launch. Luna pulled the lever and activated the catapult. The catapult threw the pumpkin into the air for some impressive airtime before it splat against the target. Chunks of pumpkin went everywhere. The strike left a conspicuous orange stain on the target to mark our accuracy.
I bobbed my head with appreciation once more. "Ha ha! Catapults rule!"
Luna expressed her joy with laughter. "Ha ha, this is much fun! Let's load another!" Luna levitated over another pumpkin.
I scratched my chin with thought. "What if we launched other things instead?"
Luna halted the loading of the catapult. Spike, Luna and I shared looks.
"Ahm not sure if ah should be stoppin' ya." Applejack stated.
The watermelon plopped into the bucket. "It's not like this is any worse than using pumpkins." I pointed out.
"Ah guess."
What's the first thing you think of when you think of fruit violence? If you give a man a katana, he'll chop up some watermelon with the grace of a shadow warrior. That's what we were thinking when we were given a catapult, only larger and messier. Cooler, too.
I pulled the lever this time (cause I wasn't about to let someone's social standing get in the way of my fun a second time). The watermelon sailed into the air like a mortar shell and impacted upon the target like one. It made a satisfying splat.
"BOOM! Is it just me, or was that better when the flying chunks are red?"
"Yeah, that was pretty cool." Spike admitted with a chuckle.
"As incredible as that was, we cannot help but think of the potential in this activity." Luna declared. "Perhaps we need to expand our options?"
We dumped a fourth bucket of cherries into the catapult. Applejack didn't have anything to say this time. We started drawing a crowd by this point, but it was only about twenty ponies wanting to watch our cherry slaughter.
I hefted Spike next to the lever. "Honor's all yours, Spike."
With a gleeful grin, Spike pulled the lever. About a hundred cherries were set loose, scattering in the air for a devastating area of effect. Those cherries didn't just hit the target; they hit everything around the target. It was a fruity blood bath.
"We should probably keep in mind that many smaller projectiles would make for good anti-infantry ammunition." Luna noted gladly.
"Alright, ah gotta step in. Who gave ya that apple?"
We rolled a truly gargantuan apple into the catapult's bucket. That thing fit perfectly. I smiled slyly. "We found someone who was willing to make a... trade."
[Somewhere at Sweet Apple Acres, Big McIntosh trotted merrily to a secret hiding spot. He hugged his new doll tightly, giving it a loving nuzzle. "Ah love you, Smarty Pants."]
"Well, ah suppose if ya bartered for it..."
"Precisely!" Luna interjected. "Now for the shooting!"
She hastily pulled the lever. That apple tore right through the target like a boulder. It might have broken just beyond it, but we couldn't be sure.
"Damn, that was one sturdy apple!" I commended.
"Yep; best apples in all Equestria." AJ boasted.
"No doubt." Luna added. "And with that, We believe we have done the best we can. That apple also doubled as a large rock for our purposes!"
"Yeah, there are other places for us to raise a little hell." I agreed. I looked around us. The crowd had gotten bigger since our last projectiles. "Oh, 'sup? Enjoy the show?"
There were some mumbled yeses and nods.
I turned to Luna with a smile. "Hey Luna, these ponies enjoyed the show!"
Luna sized up the crowd that was just standing there. I think our little showing caught them off guard enough for them to relax. "Truly? That's marvelous!"
Luna's smile at that moment was a glorious sight. I had assumed that she would be upset the entire night if we didn't find a welcome distraction, but it turned out that our distraction solved her problem. Luna smiled upon her subjects, and her subjects weren't screaming for their lives. It was great progress.
I didn't realize that a storm cloud was pushed above the crowd until its thunder shook the air. The loud boom startled me, but it did much more to the skittish ponies of Ponyville. Turns out loud noises scared them so much that they all erupted into panicked chaos trying to clear out again. Directionless ponies were shoving their way past each other, every single one of them fighting to go anywhere that wasn't there.
The last pony eventually left to my narrow, disbelieving glare. Raspy laughter sounded from the cloud above. I looked up at the laughing pony, her rainbow mane identifying her under her Shadowbolt costume. "Did you see that? Hee hee hyah ha! I've never scared that many ponies before!" She flew off with a few more chuckles in search of more ponies to frighten.
I glared after her with a static shrug. "What the hell, man?" I asked after a pony who couldn't hear me.
Luna sighed with agitation. "Oh, our mistake. We had assumed they were ready to accept us, but that is obviously not the case."
I growled with my own agitation, as I just got Luna to stop worrying about this. Thoughts of revenge against Rainbow Dash could wait, because I needed to console our princess. Again. "Don't worry about it, Luna. They were just scared of that lightning."
Luna just looked at me. "Do you really think that?"
"I do. Ponies are easily frightened, especially by loud noises. These ponies'll run from the most innocuous of things."
Spike crossed his arms at me again. "Takes one to know one, right?"
"Well I'm not a pony right now, am I?" I asked with a sideways glare.
Luna hung her head. "Even so, We still cannot get over seeing our subjects running in fear. It's far too... familiar of a sight."
"You mean your time as Nightmare Moon." I assumed.
"It is a time we regret." Luna simply said. "We wish not to relive those days."
"Hey, no one's honestly holding them against you." I assured her. "It's all in the past now."
"Yet its effects still linger in the present." Luna argued. She sighed. "Perhaps we should be reminded of our mistakes. We have done much damage in our time as the Nightmare; we must not forget."
"That was a long time ago. You've made your amends, so it's time to move on."
Luna gazed hard into my eyes. There was no hostility, only heavy inspection. "Is there anything you regret, Twilight Sparkle?"
I held back a wince, but couldn't hide a deepening frown. "Yeah."
"Has making amends done anything to make you feel better about your mistake?"
I looked away. Luna didn't realize it, but she hit me pretty close. I haven't yet made my amends, and my actions still bled to that day. "...No. The wounds are still pretty fresh."
"Then you understand that no matter what we do, we always live with our actions."
I stood silent. There wasn't much I could say. What she said was ultimately true, and I couldn't argue.
Luna took my silence to mean our conversation had ended. "Perhaps it was a mistake to explore the town. We..." Luna's mouth twitched, as if struggling with some grammatical choice. "I think it would be best to have a calm evening indoors."
She didn't refer to herself in third person, which must have had some significance that was lost on me. I took it as a good sign. "You know what, yeah. Being outdoors kind of sucks. We should just stay in the library tonight."
"Lead the way, Twilight Sparkle."
I did so, for I wasn't really feeling it anymore. Adventure was overrated; I'd rather relax with a friend.
When we got back to the library with Luna, I stored my costume in the basement and reversed my transformation. Luna and Spike settled into some seats in the main room. I popped into the kitchen and returned with glasses of soda for the two of them. Glasses passed out, I levitated a book out of a shelf to retrieve a bottle I stashed back there.
"You hid alcohol behind a book?" Luna asked.
"Sure did." I placed the bottle on the floor and cast a spell on it. The glass misted up with frost.
"Weren't you worried somepony would find it when they borrow a book?"
"Nah, no one ever checks out Mathematical Calculations in the Application of Ritualistic Magic. It might as well be a book I own myself."
"I see. You've been keeping good track of which books are used."
I shrugged nonchalantly. "Not hard to do when it's literally your only responsibility." I took a sip of Mighty Mack's. Frosty.
I took a seat with them. I noticed Spike was giving both Luna and myself a few looks. He did that on our way back as well, but I couldn't exactly tell what it was he was doing. Drawing a connection maybe? It was hard to say.
Luna caught my attention with a little conversation, effectively distracting me from my concern with Spike for the time being. "So you haven't done much decorating for the holiday."
"Yeah, we haven't really bothered with that. Personally, I prefer to decorate my space with personal items. Take that statue in the corner for instance; I made that myself and I keep it around because I think it looks cool."
Luna turned to view the statue I mentioned. "Ah yes, a statue of a human. I take it you are fascinated by the species?"
"You could say that. I like the bipedal body structure, partly because it allows the use of two limbs for locomotion, reserving the others for manipulating the environment."
"And the other part?"
"It makes me feel tall."
Luna laughed at that. "I understand that sentiment well. Tell me, are you taller than my sister in that form?"
"Not quite. She's about my height."
"Truly a shame. I would love to stand over my sister. I would be the little sister no longer!"
I chuckled. "Well, you'd probably be a little taller than me if you had a human form. Wanna find out?"
"You can give me a human form? Interesting." Luna stood up. "I would like to see what it's like."
"Alright, I'll go get you a towel." I trotted up the stairs to find the bathroom.
"Um, why would I need a towel?" Luna asked.
"Just roll with it." Spike suggested. "She very adamant about covering up."
Luna presumably raised a curious eyebrow at that. "Is that why she wears those strange clothes of hers?"
"Yep."
I returned shortly with the towel in my magic and handed it over. Luna silently questioned why this was necessary, but she went with it and wrapped it around herself. My horn glowed with the requisite energy and did its work upon Luna. Her form shifted into the taller humanoid shape to which I'm familiar.
She swayed in her seat from a lack of balance. She caught herself on an armrest and took a moment to look over her changes. She wiggled her fingers experimentally, watching them with curiosity. "Intriguing. These extremities are much easier to move than I thought."
"Yeah, you get used to them. Now let's try standing; we wanted to see how tall you are."
With a nod, she unsteadily rose to her feet. She was a lot taller than me at the moment, but if I had to judge, I'd say she was the taller human. "Congratulations, you are at least taller than me."
"Ha, that's great! For once in my life, I am bigger than Celestia!" Luna began to laugh, but it was cut short when my spell lost power. She tumbled onto her back with a thud. "Ow! What the- Twilight, what happened?"
"Sorry, I only used enough power for the spell to last for two minutes."
Luna glared. "Why would you only use so little? I wanted to surprise my sister!"
"I could have used more, but you know, effort."
Luna's glared hardened. "You're too lazy for your own good."
"I used to get that a lot."
"Yeah, sure you did." Spike mumbled.
I glanced at him, but made no other move to acknowledge his statement. I used my levitation to help Luna to her hooves.
We decided shortly afterwards that a little game of Candyland would be a good way to pass the time. Does it take any imagination to know how this turned out for me? I lost in as spectacular a fashion as always. We used this time to catch up on current events, which went pretty well. Spike and I didn't do much that was interesting the past couple of days, so it was mostly Luna who had things to say about life in the castle. Some of the guards were apparently getting romantically involved to everyone's glee. Guess they all knew about it before they did. That was silly; how could other people know these two would be a couple before they knew themselves? How unrealistic, yet it happened. Glad I'd never have to deal with this stuff.
I drew a movement card, which depicted a single yellow square. I sighed with frustration and moved a single space on the board. For the tenth time in a row. Spike and Luna were so far ahead of me that the only way I could win was if I could cheat without getting caught. I wasn't about to take my chances, though. Luna doesn't strike me as the kind of pony who would take that lightly.
"Nice draw." Spike sarcastically complimented. "Maybe you'll get an orange square next."
As that meant I would only move one space again, this was clearly an insult. "Ha ha ha." I laughed flatly. "I hope you choke in the peanut forest, you marshmellow-roasting douche kazoo."
Luna laughed. "You have a way with words."
"Thanks, I need to have some kind of advantage." I thanked irritably.
Luna drew a card and smiled. "Well your advantage was for naught!" She moved her piece and counted along. "One, two, three, victory! Huzzah!"
Spike and I threw up our arms in dismay. "Aw!"
"Oh well, I wasn't going to win, anyway." I added.
"You never do." Spike said with a devious smile.
"I'm just in a rut. I'll win someday." I vowed.
With our game settled, I levitated every piece and card back into the box. I cast an easy conjuration spell and displaced it back where it belonged. At least, I think I did. I couldn't exactly see where it ended up, so it could have been in the ocean for all I knew.
"That was a surprisingly fun game." Luna said. "I'm glad we played it."
"So now what?" I asked, leaning back.
"We could play Dungeon Keeper." Spike suggested.
What, you mean that old computer game from the 90's? I didn't say anything to that effect, but I looked to Luna. "Sounds good to me. What do you think?"
"A game with that name must be pretty exciting. I say to bring it out!"
I unleashed another burst of magic and summoned the box from the basement. Thanks to magic, I didn't have to walk all the way to the basement to get stuff. Thanks, Conjuration!
We were halfway prepared to play the game, cards everywhere and board nearly set, when there was a knocking at the door. I stopped and looked at the door with hesitation. "Aw man, I hope that isn't a group of trick-or-treaters."
"It's a little past ten; I doubt anypony would let their foals stay out this late." Spike said.
"Yeah, but I still don't wanna answer the door." I gestured Spike towards the door. "You do it."
"You do it." Spike argued.
"But then I'd have to get up and greet them at the door! I was getting complacent in my motionless state at this table."
"Such laziness in my friends." Luna lamented. She opened the door slightly with her magic and crossed her forelegs. "You're welcome."
"Yeah, thanks."
A pink bundle of energy in the form of Pinkie Pie kicked the door and stepped in before it could shut in her face. She was wearing her serious face. "I'm here to take your virginity and chew bubblegum. And I'm all out of gum."
I rolled my eyes. "Pfft, nice reference to They Live in 2015."
Pinkie tilted her head questioningly. "Wait, I thought I was referencing Duke Nukem."
"Who's Duke Nukem?" I asked.
Pinkie shrugged.
I shook my head. "Whatever, you can cool it with your act; we stopped celebrating Nightmare Night in here hours ago."
"Oh, okay." She took a moment to process that. "Why?"
I looked back at Luna, who was affected by recent events the most, but she was in disguise. I assume she meant to keep others from getting scared of her again, but all she was wearing was a fake mustache. I dunno, it might work. This is Pinkie Pie we're talking about. "Well, my friend was feeling a little down, so we retired within my library to wind down."
Pinkie hopped past me and right in Luna's face. "I'm sorry you feel down, Miss Mystery Mare, but you'll be a lot happier with lots of friends! Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie!"
"Er, I'm Moonbeam." Luna greeted.
"Welcome to Ponyville, Moonbeam! Why so down?" Pinkie asked with concern and head-aching suddenness.
Rather than having Luna be put on the spot, I decided to cut in. "I was talking about Luna. Luna was the one feeling down."
"Oh." Pinkie removed herself from Luna's vicinity, so we could have a more comfortable conversation. "What was wrong with Princess Luna?"
"Well, ponies kept compulsively bowing to her and making her uncomfortable. Then ponies started running from her when they saw her. That, when added with the screams to her face about Nightmare Moon, soured her opinion of the holiday. So we came back here and hung out for a while."
Pinkie scratched the back of her head nervously. "You were talking about me, weren't you?"
"Yeah, you were kind of the one screaming."
Her gaze drifted to the floor. "Oh, that's bad."
I patted her shoulder reassuringly. "If it makes you feel any better, she was feeling better when she..." I narrowed my eyes at disguised Luna. "...left."
Pinkie didn't catch on to my suspicions, so she settled on feeling a little relieved. Not by much, though. "That does make me feel a little better."
"Why'd you do that, anyway?"
Pinkie lowered her gaze again. "It's Nightmare Night; It's the time of year where everypony can have fun being scared and scaring others! I thought she would have a lot of fun if everypony got really scared of her."
I nodded in recognition and put a foreleg over her shoulders. "Look, Nightmare Moon is a pretty sore spot for Luna. Fear is just not something she wants to inspire. Maybe next year we could try to scare her instead?"
"Okay." Pinkie straightened herself. "Do you think I should tell her I'm sorry?"
"I'd say so."
"Alrighty then!" Pinkie trotted backwards to the door. "What kind of cake do you think she likes?"
I looked to Luna for an answer. "What do you think, Moonbeam?"
"Chocolate. With vanilla frosting!" She exclaimed, already excited by the thought of her apology cake.
"Right, what she said."
"Okie-doki! Thanks for the suggestions!" She hopped back out the still open door. "Bye bye!"
We waved as she left. I levitated the door shut and turned back to the table and its occupants. Luna had a cupcake with a single candle lit on it before her. Luna examined the cupcake while prying off her mustache. "Has this always been here?"
"Nah, Pinkie probably left it there when she was here." I answered.
Luna picked it up with uncertainty. "Are you sure? I don't remember her putting it here."
"Yeah, she does that."
Luna gave it a bit more thought, but mentally shrugged and bit the cupcake. "Mmm, this is good." She took another, more gleeful bite. "So, I was thinking."
"Always a good sign." I joked.
Luna glared playfully and continued. "As I was saying, the major reason ponies have been nervous around me is because I'm royalty, yes?"
"Sure."
"Well, if they saw not Princess Luna, but another common pony, they wouldn't be so nervous right?"
"I don't like where this is going, but yes."
"So what if I created a disguise with which I could assimilate into the public? I could mingle among the ponies with none of them the wiser!"
"It's a little short-sighted, if you ask me."
Luna paused and regarded me critically. "Please explain."
"Listen, there are a couple of pitfalls when living under a false identity that you'll never be prepared for. For starters, you'll have to be on your guard for every second you spend around everyone. It would get tiring and stressful. Then you'll have a few hangups about how often you need to lie about yourself. If you ever decide that you should come clean to your friends, you have to hope that they'll be forgiving. If they're not, they'll never forgive you. Even if they do accept you after all the acting, you'll have to live knowing that they'll never fully trust you. And after all that, you'll come to realize that they never liked you. They liked the act you put on, and any change from what they consider the norm will turn a few heads. So no, Luna, I don't like this idea. The nervous ponies and the incessant bowing would be preferable to a lifetime of lies and regret."
Luna let out an impressed breath. "That's a very thorough examination."
"I've had a lot of time to think about it." I explained. "You know, since I have little else to do." I hastily added.
"I see. Then I shall take your advice. It was a silly idea, anyway." She resumed eating her cupcake without a further word on the subject.
We finished setting up the game board to continue our board game marathon. Being one of those game that required one to control the entire board, I elected to run the game while Spike and Luna competed. I was fine with being in a position where I wouldn't be forced to lose because I can't roll higher than a three, and the two of them were equally matched in skill in the first place. I wasn't about to let this night be ruined by a little philosophic self-examination. I ran things intent on having a good time.
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The build up is killing me!! Get to the big reveal! I wanna see her friends' reactions, especially Celestia's!!! (Still a great story and definitely one of my utmost favorites)
Pretty good chapter! I really want to know what was the deal with Hu-Twilight scrying herself in the mirror! Is Hu-twi just twilight with messed up memories or are Hu-Twi and Twilight's souls fused or something weird like that! I am anxiously waiting the next update.
Did Spike invite Shining over for a visit yet?
6773719 I think he did, but Shining's abroad in Prance or something with Cadence.
Glad too see the chapter loving the Luna+Twilight friendship can't wait to see what you have planned next, Thanks for Writing!
Honestly, I really hope the main character doesn't just get forgiven. Lying to their friends and the friends and family members of the actual Twilight is bad enough, but it's understandable. But after the whole Spike finding out thing, the more the main character deliberately makes Spike out to be paranoid and crazy to the people he trusts the more I start to dislike Not-Twilight.
But at the same time I still doubt Celestia actually believed Not-Twilight. If she did then, well, that's kind of very, very out of character for her.
That was indeed a very thorough examination of the subject Twilight...
Ignore the people bugging you to reveal the truth. Do it when you think the story calls for it. I'm enjoying every bit of it regardless.
Fine job author.
He's in a corner
still a bit miffed you put Nightmare night BEFORE Discord.
AND DARN YOU BIG MAC!
6773822
Or perhaps she's just rolling with it?
Pinkie seems to have a thing for "Twilight" and the friendship with Luna is deepening as well.
As for a big reveal, I kind of hope it doesn't happen. In a lot of ways "Twilight" has been a better Twilight than the original article, although the thing Spike has done with Armor and Cadance will throw a monkey wrench in things.
I'm surprised that Spike had absolutely no reaction when the pony that he suspects to be an imposter went on a long, thorough explanation on the downsides of using a false identity.
Subtlety, thy name is not axelsempai.
Rocks fall, everyone dies
These are the things we must learn in this world
FM Twi doesn't seem to be in love with anyone, even if Pinkie Pie is trying to seduce her it seems.
Is also nice how Luna and her are best friends.
Also she is not even trying to pretend to be a pony with all that human slang, is she trying to get caught.
Sorry if it is getting old, but I would prefer him being a Pony once again, it should start to be weird for her friends again, that it seems he would ignore his pony self so much.
I think I only don´t like her being a Human because of how this story started, I don´t mind to have anthros, or a real Human that much.
Kind of a pity that Twilight didn't talk about her anger management and how Celestia wants her to stop fighting. Would have made for an interesting topic, since I would have loved to get Luna's opinion on Twilight's scuffles!
And thus cannister and grapeshot were born.
Twilight and Luna seem perfect for each other. Twiluna in the future?
And here we have an idiot who doesn't know what slang means.
Pony Slang= Everypony, anypony, Ladies and gentlecolts.
Human slang= Everyone, anyone, ladies and gentlemen.
You never disappoint.
Thank you.
6773822
Well... sorta ironically, how neoTwilight treats Spike is pretty good, except for the making him out to be insane and paranoid. He identified him as Twilight's family, and treats him accordingly. Spike is a family member first to neoTwilight (although in practice this is probably more like bro style friendship), rather than an assistant first like with normal Twilight.
When Spike isn't being suspicious, they have a pretty good rapport. Spike seemed to really like the catapult, for example.
But... even if everything came clear, and neoTwilight was wrong that anyone'd want to hurt him or realTwilight, I think Spike might (and should) have a hard time forgiving him.
6774864 Would have done without the name calling, but sure why not?
6773625 Not a huge fan of drama, but I'm hoping (sort of, hopefully doesn't happen) that neo-twi gets romantically involved before the reveal happens.
YESSH!! MOAR!!!
Wait, Spike overheard that spiel at the end, right? That's going to need to come up again.
But you're not putting on an act. You're lying about your name and that's about it. I mean, it's a huge lie, absolutely, but you've also consistently acted in whatever way came naturally to you, without regard for whether it was an accurate impersonation of Twilight or not. You could have spent your time learning as much about what Twilight was like as possible, and then acting that way, but you haven't. You've always shown them your real personality, and that's exactly who they've come to like.
"Ah wish ya wouldn't," spoke a familiar southern girl. (Said-tag: comma)
target over there," Applejack instructed,
the honor's all yours," I said
ammunition," Luna noted
Equestria," AJ boasted.
"No doubt," Luna added, "And
(And so on)
She's very
with which I'm familiar.
Luna's glare hardened.
6774864
Not really? I'd say ‘dialect’ if pushed. There is, of course, a significant difference: anyone/anybody still linguistically works with nonhumans, while everypony doesn't include, say, Spike.
And humans used the term man or men when talking about humans in general for ages.
I laughed my arse off when I read that. A totally doable Argonian name, too!
I read this at a time when I badly needed a laugh. Thank you.
I really hope there are actual consequences when the facade finally ends. I know this story is a comedy, not a drama, but all the same if the truth comes out and the ponies take it well and there are no hard feelings it would be so anti-climatic.
It only makes sense to me that our protagonist should have his work cut out for him keeping his friendships alive through such a reveal.
Well, that was fun, but I'm kinda disappointed by the lack of further interactions with Rainbow Dash. It was looking like things could get very interesting there after their last talk so I was really hoping she would get roped into this chapter, especially given that I expected this Twilight's rough edges to make her more inclined to help with the pranking.
6779392 First, that is English, not all languages. Second, that does not apply to all forms of the identifiers with words like "you" and "they" being fully gender neutral. Third, the correct English grammar for persons of unknown gender or without gender (this is not restricted to humans, any thinking being such as a pony, alien, or true AI qualifies which is where you get the possibility of no gender) is to use the masculine forms (he) because there are no dedicated gender-neutral personal forms and it is both grammatically incorrect and highly offensive to use the non-person forms (it) to describe a person.
!?
!?!?
!?!?!?
Is it just me, or did twilight just tell luna something that would tip the scales against her?
6806971
*Hades explodes*
6777537 yah but he has had to omit key details about himself either way, and he still feels that way regardless of whether or not its true.
6774184 well 1) presumably straight presumably male 2) human, thus no attraction to Pinkie who is non-human
6773892 but that's still veyr unfair to the real twiligth and ehr parents, and unfair to our protagonist who shoudl have a chance of living his normal life
6833888
Fm Twi is acting more and more like a bachelor version of the real Twilight.
6774864 And here we have an idiot, who doesn't know what speciesism means...
Speciesist words: anypony, everypony, somepony, etc.
Non-speciesist words: everyone, anyone, someone, etc.
About time I see a Skyrim joke
XD!!!!!!
XD!!!!!!
The funniest Skyrim reference ever!
First thought of fruit violence is fruit ninja???.....
Guess I'm showing my age thinking of Gallagher.
8879111
She didnt know Duke Nukem, i almost felt depressed about my age right then.
Firstly, based protag has watched They Live.
Second, he doesn't know a referance! Nice. I haven't seen a isekai/ self-insert fic where the protagonist doesn't know a reference.