• Published 26th Oct 2014
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My Twilight Facade - axelsempai

Suddenly, I'm Twilight Sparkle and I don't want to be here.

  • ...

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Apples? More Like Asses.

It was two days since that lunch with my friends. I've gotten over it since then, but I haven't left the library. The only contact I've had with ponies has been whenever someone was checking out books. Yes, the salad was nice, thanks for asking.

I was learning as much about magic as I could over the last two days, but let me tell you, nothing curbs your enthusiasm like reading from spell books. I don't mind reading if the subject matter is good, but this was magic I was talking about. Why do you think I hate Harry Potter? It was about wizards being racist and shit! I think. I dunno, I didn't get past the cover.

It was about midday, and my mind was shorting out from another four hour period of binge reading. I marked my page and stared at the wall. Sadly, I wasn't making as much progress as I wanted. While the beginner's book on magic was simple enough for me to breeze right through, this latest tome was giving me trouble for the past three days. Yes, this was the book I was reading right before leaving for lunch that day, and I still wasn't getting very far. I was only twenty pages past the introduction, but I had to reread everything so many times, and cross-reference every term, that I was surprised I managed to get as far as I did. Suddenly, I understood why wizards went to colleges.

Once again, I heard a crunching coming from the kitchen, meaning Spike was trying to sneak another gem into his stomach without me knowing. The dragon still didn't understand that I could hear him eating. As he entered the living room where I was, he noticed quickly that I was watching him. He looked guiltily at me as if I cared. Only one thing bothered me about this. "Hey Spike, where do you keep getting those gems?"

Spike swallowed a mouthful of sapphire and hid the rest behind his back. "Uh, I was finding them... you know, outside?"

"Man, if I could find gems as easily as you, I wouldn't have to work for a living."

Spike gave me another one of those strange looks I was simultaneously nervous about and accustomed to. I know he does that whenever I say something he thinks is strange, but I can never find out what he considers "normal". He followed up his look with the question that was no doubt on his mind for a while. "Hey Twilight, are you feeling okay? You've seemed very... aloof, for the past couple of days."

I raised an eyebrow. "Isn't that a good thing?"

Spike looked at his feet, unsure of his answer. "Well, I guess so. You just seem different, that's all."

While my face was a straight-faced mask, on the inside, I was panicking. This guy was getting dangerously close to figuring out something was wrong. The less questions asked, the better, and now Spike was asking me if my change of behavior is a sign of trouble! Spike was expecting me to respond in some way, but what would I say? I don't know much about my persona aside from a name and a love for books, so I had no idea what a natural response would be. Once again, I hoped something would distract us from the current conversation and save me the trouble.

That's when I noticed the rumbling that was shaking the walls of the library. I looked around, noting how everything was moving around slightly. "What the hell is going on?"

Spike gave me another one of those looks, and looked out a window. I stepped outside to see ponies running around in a panic, screaming about a stampede and barricading themselves indoors. I looked over to see where the "stampede" was coming from, but all I could make out was a large cloud of dust.

I saw Pinkie riding the vibrations from the ground, giggling to herself about how silly her voice sounded. I yelled out to her. "Pinkie, there's a bunch of pissed off somethings-or-other running this way! Get inside!"

By the way she just kept giggling to herself, I guessed she wasn't actually paying any attention to me. I would have pulled her inside, but I remembered her advice to laugh at danger. Then I realized how stupid that advice was during a stampede, so I rushed over to drag her inside. But just when I got close to her, she suddenly stopped in place and stared in awe where the stampede was. I chanced a glance over there in curiosity, seeing that the cloud was pulling away from Ponyville.

Pinkie smiled widely in my face. "Let's go see what's happening!"

Pinkie threw a blind-fold over my eyes, causing me to stagger around in surprise. "Hey, what are you doing?" My question went unanswered as she dragged me along for a few feet.

After only walking a few steps away from the library, Pinkie tore off my blindfold. I instantly noticed that we were standing at the edge of Ponyville, the library was nowhere in sight. I looked at my surroundings with bafflement. "What the hell? How did we get all the way over here?"

Pinkie didn't answer. I sighed, looking over at whatever scene was before me. Sure enough, there was a horde of cows running by, with Applejack up front and corralling them. The stampede was redirected off to Ponyville's side, and the cows stopped just nearby. Now that the danger was over, I took this as my chance to go over and see what this was about.

To my surprise, I overheard Applejack having a conversation with the cows. I knew ponies could talk, but cows took me off guard. "Oh my! Begging your pardon, Applejack, but Mooriella here saw one of those nasty snakes." Said one of the cows. Her statement startled some of the others, but fortunately, they didn't start another riot. "It just gave us the willies, don'tcha know."

...Okay, I now no longer regret eating so many cheeseburgers.

Applejack was far more forgiving than I was. "Ah completely understand. Just try to steer clear of Ponyville, next time."

With that, Applejack ran off. Stopping on top of a hill, she reared up for a "Yeehaw!", and galloped off into the sunset like a badass cowgirl. Except, it was the middle of the day, so there was no sunset. Oh well, it was still cool to see.

The mayor, who I suspected was leaving behind paperwork in the Town Hall, trotted nearby to the gathered crowd. Staring off into the distance where Applejack ran, she stammered her praise. "That was just... just..."

"Appletastic!" Pinkie finished for her, but I doubt that was what the mayor was going to say.

"Uh, sure." The mayor coughed into a hoof. "Anyway, we must do something to thank Applejack for single-hoofedly saving the town."

"Ooh, I know!" Pinkie exclaimed. We all stared at her, expecting an answer. She sat still, unmoving for a few long seconds before she merrily trotted back into town.

The others shrugged and went about their business. I ran after Pinkie. "Wait Pinkie, I still want to know. When you blindfolded me, how did you get me over here so fast?"

Pinkie smiled at me. "If I told you that, then it wouldn't be a secret!" She began hopping instead of trotting.

I stared at her for a long moment of confusion. "...What?"

Later that evening, the mayor spoke to me in a conversation that I will summarize thusly:

"Would you like to say a few words before we give Applejack a huge-ass trophy for saving the town?"

"Sure, whatever."

So the next day, I sat around the front of town hall while ponies were decorating. Even though we just had the Summer Sun Celebration a few days ago, everyone was very excited for today. Everyone pitched in for decoration, except for myself. I was busy with something a little more important, in that I still had my personal assignment to do. Sure, I had to make a speech before Applejack got her trophy, but I was a tad bit more worried about getting better at magic. The only progress I made was realizing that I was reading an advanced spell book which was far above my level of understanding.

My friends and I sans Applejack met up just before my scheduled speech. It was the lack of the farmer's presence that had us together. I looked all around. "Where's Applejack?"

"I haven't seen her since the stampede." Rainbow admitted.

"Huh. I know if I were being celebrated for my heroics, I wouldn't want to miss my party."

"Yeah, right?" Rainbow grinned in agreement. "There's no way Applejack would miss this! She'll be here."

I looked back to the stage where I would be speaking, seeing the massive crowd gathered before it. It was time for me to make my epic speech, so I dismissed myself and climbed up to the podium.

The crowd looked up at me, anticipating my speech. Some people would probably wonder why I didn't bring any flash cards with notes on them. Well, that's because I didn't need any. Oratory was my specialty, and I went in ready to improvise some grand address to make Applejack sound totally kickass.

I smiled at the crowd, ready to speak my words. "Hello, everyone. Today, we have gathered to honor the best among us. This mare has saved our town from certain disaster for the second time in five days. This honorable and unswerving individual-"

My speech was interrupted by an ecstatic Rainbow Dash, who pushed me aside to take over. "Did you see Applejack's moves out there? What an athlete! This week, she's gonna help me with my new flying trick, and I know it's gonna be so awesome." Her voice dropped to what I can only describe as a squee.

See, things like this are exactly why I prefer to improvise my presentations. Without some long-winded plan to follow to the dot, I could incorporate this unexpected interruption into my speech. And who said politics was hard? I pushed my way to the podium, if only to get my spotlight back. "You see? Who else but Applejack would spend her free time helping people with their aerial acrobatics?"

As proud of myself as I was for my quick thinking, Pinkie pushed me into Rainbow. It must have been comical to see me squished between two mares like that, but I found it to be a bit annoying. Pinkie used her interruption for an important announcement. "This week, I get to run Sugarcube Corner for the first time!"

"Thanks for the relevant information, Pinkie. Does this have anything to do with Applejack?" I asked, still wedged between the two.

Pinkie bopped her head, as if just remembering something. "Oh yeah! Applejack was going to help me! That's why we're giving away free samples!"

The crowd cheered uproariously at that.

I looked at Rainbow, who was still up on stage with us for some reason. "Uh, Rainbow? Why are you still up here?" I whispered.

"I just wanted to talk about my trick." She admitted.

I stared at her for a bit, just to let her know how poorly timed she was, and pushed both mares away. "Great. Any more Applejack related news I should know about? Anyone?" I looked around. Fluttershy looked like she wanted to say something, but she thought better of it when I looked at her.

The mayor walked up to me, and stared at me with an expecting smile. I slowly turned to face her, entering a staring contest with her. I was going to stare at her until she told me what she wanted. I had to admit, the crowd was being very patient with us. We sat there for a whole ten seconds before the mayor finally ended the silence. "Are you finished with your speech?"

"Well I am, now." I nearly grumbled. Yeah, just like every presentation, my speech was interrupted by everybody. I'd better cut my losses. I just hopped off the stage, letting the mayor take over the podium.

"And so, with no further ado, it is my privilege to give the prize, Pony of Ponyville Award, to our beloved guest of honor, a pony of the utmost trustworthiness, reliability, and integrity. Ponyville's most capable and dependable friend: Applejack!"

The mayor presented the huge trophy from out of nowhere. I had to admit, it was incredible how quickly they had this trophy prepared. Either they made this thing the other day, or they just had a spare one lying around. I wonder which one it was? Was I impressed by their industrialism or their fore-sight?

Either way, the trophy was being presented for Applejack to claim. Except, Applejack was nowhere to be seen. Poor Spike was cheering even though everyone went quiet. I patted him on the shoulder. "Dude, relax."

Spike gave me another look. To her credit, Applejack did show, but she was in a miserable state. She was stumbling around through the crowd with her eyes half closed. She may have stepped on a few tails on her way through, but she eventually climbed up to the stage. She took the podium, and I just realized how awful she looked.

"Thank you kindly fer this here... award thingy." She slurred. She yawned loudly and looked into the base. "It's so bright and shiny and, heh, heh heh, ah sure do look funny, heh." She leaned in and out from the trophy, giggling and making silly noises. Pinkie soon joined her, both enjoying themselves way too much.

What surprised me was that no one wanted to interrupt this. Sure, a grand speech from one of Equestria's saviors? Can't let that finish. Applejack and Pinkie making silly noises at a trophy? Oh well, let them have their fun.

What finally did interrupt them was Applejack suddenly dropping into sleep. The audience looked amongst itself as if they would find someone who understood what was happening in the crowd. Applejack shook herself awake. "Well, ah'd better git goin'. Thanks again fer the award." She bit onto a handle of the trophy, and dragged it away.

When she was out of sight, the crowd dispersed. All that remained of the crowd was me and my friends. "Was it just me, or was Applejack plastered?" I asked.

"Nah, Applejack's not that much of a lightweight. She seemed more tired to me." Said Rainbow.

"Let's not forget messy." Rarity added. She noticed us rolling our eyes. "Well, did you see her mane?"

"She seemed fine to me." Pinkie then resumed woo-ing into the air like she was the Nature Boy.

Ignoring Pinkie, because she never makes sense, I sighed. "You think I should go check up on her?"

"Better you than me, I suppose," said Rarity.

I figured as much.

Searching Sweet Apple Acres didn't take very long. Applejack was a little ways in, but I noticed that there was no one else outside to help her with the harvesting. Odd, where were all the ponies I met before the Summer Sun Celebration?

I approached Applejack, who nodded off again. I stood in front of her, debating whether or not I should wake her. After all, she looked pretty tired, and I wouldn't want anyone to mess with my sleep. My considerations were for naught when Applejack shook herself awake. At first, she was glaring at me as if she was ready to attack, but she settled down into what could only be called irritation. "Oh, it's just you."

Huh, how rude. I would have asked what her problem with me was, but she looked like she had her own problems. "Sorry for dropping by unannounced. I just stopped by to see if everything is all right."

Without so much as eye-contact, Applejack walked sluggishly to a nearby tree. "Ah'm fine, so thanks fer comin'. You can go now."

Geez, what was with Applejack's cold shoulder? I followed her, scrutinizing her. Her sluggish gait was definitely due to no small amount of fatigue. "Applejack, you're exhausted. Have you been getting enough sleep?"

Applejack weakly bucked a tree, dropping the apples into buckets. "Ah'm gettin' all the sleep ah need."

"And how much is that? Seven to eight hours is the minimum to avoid the effects of sleep-deprivation, and you still look like you need to catch a few winks."

Applejack was getting frustrated with my insistence. "Four's plenty fer me. Can ya go now?"

I narrowed my eyes, digging further into her situation despite her growing anger. "Is there a reason you're losing sleep?"

Applejack rubbed her eyes and glared at me. "If ya must know, ah have a lot of work to do. Speakin' of which, ah should get back to it. Hint hint."

"First of all, I was never in your way, feel free to buck trees while we talk. Second, why are you working all alone? Don't you have any relatives or farmhands around?"

Applejack raised an eyebrow at me. "Farm-what now?"

I sighed. "Helpers. Don't you have anyone that can help you?"

Applejack obviously took offense to this, getting right in my face. "Ah don't need help! Ah can do this on my own!"

I returned her glare, taking a step away so I could have some of my space back. "I'm not arguing that you can't. What I'm saying is that working alone is hurting you! Get some help, you can hardly think straight."

"Ah'm fine! Why don't you and yer twin sister git on out of here so ah can go back to work without yer fussin'?"

I looked around for who my "twin sister" was, but we were alone in the fields. I figured she was seeing double, something that only drunk or tired people do. Instead of pointing out the obvious, my best option was to get back to my own work. "Okay, fine. But before I leave, I want you to do some thinking, if your mind is even in enough shape to do so. How long will you have to treat yourself like this before you realize how pointless it is?" I turned away from her. "My offer to help is still on the table."

Applejack grunted in response. I sighed, leaving her and the farm behind. The only farewell I got was the sound of trees and buckets getting kicked.

I fell back onto a chair in my library, a cup of water in my hooves. I was a bit aggravated after speaking to Applejack, but at the same time I was thoughtful.

Spike came down the stairs and saw me. "Hey Twilight. How's Applejack doing?"

I was quiet for a moment before answering. "Spike, did I do anything since arriving in Ponyville that might upset anyone?"

Spike was understandably silent at the question. After all, when a slightly angry woman asks a loaded question like that, it's never a good thing. "Uh, well... no?"

While Spike was expecting some kind of outburst, I was still lost in thought. "Hmm. Then that begs the question of why Applejack hates me."

Spike was taken aback by my calm statement. "Hates you? But you're friends!"

I took a nonchalant sip of water. "So why was Applejack so rude to me? Despite being in way over her head, she refused my help. Maybe we're not as good friends as we think we are?"

Spike stared at me with the same expression one has when expecting a train crashing into a broken car on the tracks. However, whatever he was expecting wasn't happening, and he realized that after about a minute of waiting. While I was still thinking, Spike aired his concerns. "Uh, are you okay?"

I eyed him curiously. "I feel fine, why?"

Spike scratched his head nervously. "Well, you're thinking that Applejack might not be your friend anymore, so I thought you were... you know."

"Know what?"

"Freaking out."

I chuckled at Spike. Man, what kind of worry-wart was he living with that freaks out over the barest of complications? "Don't worry, man. I'm far from losing myself. On the contrary, I'm in full control of the situation."

Spike sighed with relief, but then he perked right up with another problem. "Oh no, you're not going to use your magic to fix this, are you?"

I did a double-take at him. "What? Fuck no, I'm not using magic!" Spike took a step back at my outburst while I regained my composure. He looked more confused than anything else, though. "No, if Applejack wants to work alone, then she will. I'll let her work herself to the bone before I intervene. By that point, if she doesn't outright come to me for help, then she'll at least be more accepting of the idea."

"So, your plan is waiting?"

"Pretty much."

The next day, I was reading another, easier book on magic. This was more complicated stuff than basic levitation, but easier than the last book. Now I was getting into the basics of more complicated spells, like dweomers and equations. Just my luck that magic is more like algebra than art.

I heard the familiar sound of a turning page across the room. This wasn't just some book I heard, I knew it was from either a magazine or a comic. Curiosity piqued, figuring that Spike wouldn't be reading a magazine, I saw Spike reading some colorful comic book.

I put aside my spell book to find one of Spike's comics. I went upstairs, because I knew we kept additional books up there and there were no comics on the main floor. Searching among the books we kept up there, I found the first issue of Power Ponies. I briefly wondered if they were anything like my world's Power Rangers. I figured I was going to read this, instead. Sure, I had a moral obligation to learn magic, but I could probably spare a day, right?


I sighed. I wasn't going to have much of an off-day, was I?

I opened the glass door to the balcony, where I found the source of the noise: a dazed Rainbow Dash. She was hanging limp on the railing, so it looked like she crashed directly onto it. It was a painful looking scene.

At first, I thought nothing of it. She "lands forcefully" all the time, so I had no reason to worry. "Hey Rainbow. Are you okay?"

To my surprise, she didn't hop up and start making some excuse for crashing. She almost inaudibly groaned and looked up at me. "I'll be fine. But you should go see Applejack again. She's out of it." And with that, Rainbow's head drooped.

With hardly a thought, I levitated her off the railing. She didn't move much. She passed out.

With a small growl, I placed her in my bed, pulling the covers over her. Fortunately, she was still breathing as well as ever. That didn't change the fact that Rainbow was injured.

Spike opened the door to the room, to see me glaring at a sleeping Rainbow Dash. "What's she doing in your bed?"

The last thing Rainbow mentioned before passing out was Applejack. With that, everything was clear. I turned to Spike. "Go get Rarity and tell her to go to Sweet Apple Acres. It's time we had a chat with Applejack."

I stomped by Spike with a determined frown. Spike didn't like my expression, and spoke up. "Wait, why? I thought you were going to wait?"

I stopped and gave him one look that repelled any further arguments. "I don't know what happened, but it's clear that Applejack has hurt another one of my friends." I started forward onto my destination. "The time for waiting is over. I refuse to sit idly while someone hurts my friends."

I first stopped by Sugarcube Corner, for I had a single errand there. I entered the bakery to find Pinkie Pie speaking with the store owners.

"Now Pinkie, we're only going to be gone for two days, so you only have to run the Corner like we taught you." Lectured a light blue mare I didn't recognize.

"Okie Doki, Mrs. Cake!" Pinkie chirped.

"I think she get's it, Honeybun." Said a yellow stallion, who I presumed to be Mr. Cake.

When Mrs. Cake turned to nod at her husband, she noticed me. "Oh, I'm sorry, but we're closed today."

I shook off their concern. "Just as well, since I'm only here for that Pie." I pointed at Pinkie.

Pinkie jumped in front of me, practically getting in my face. "Heya Twilight! What's down?"

What's down? Is she trying to say "what's up" but differently? Ugh, whatever, I barely have time for this. "Hey, Pinkie. We're gonna need your help. Could you go get Fluttershy? I want to gather all the girls at Sweet Apple Acres so we can help Applejack. By the way, I don't think Applejack will be in any shape to help you tomorrow."

Pinkie pouted. "Aw, then who's gonna help me run Sugarcube Corner?"

"I will, so don't worry, I've got your back."

Pinkie brightened up instantly. "Oh boy! It'll be great baking with you! I'll go get Fluttershy!" Pinkie lunged into the back.

The Cakes glanced at each other, and turned to me. Mr. Cake coughed nervously into a hoof. "So you're Twilight? The one who hit a 'big, scary monster' in the private parts?"

Yeah, I think I'll just beat a hasty retreat.

I marched through Sweet Apple Acres in search of my quarry. Finding her was as easy as following the sound of weak kicks connecting onto trees. There she was, shaking her head in a daze as if she recently hit her head on something.

"Applejack, we need to talk." I approached her, but she didn't notice my approach until she looked right at me.

"Oh, hey Twilight." She drawled. She still didn't sound happy to see me.

I disregarded her disregard for my feelings. I increased my volume, since it seemed that she didn't hear me before. "Applejack, we need to talk!"

"What was that about beanstalks?" She yelled.

Oh, come on! That wasn't even close to what I said! Fine, I'll just enunciate my words very loudly. "Applejack! We! Need! To! Talk!"

"Ohhhh, well why didn't you say so?"

Grr, this pony will be the end of me! "You! Need! Help!"

"Like hay Ah do!"

"Your! Actions! Are! Affecting! Everyone! Around you!"

"No they ain't! Ah'm doing fine!"

"No! You're! Not! You! Look! Like! Hell!"

"Why are you bein' so nasty?"

"You! First!"

Applejack was about to respond, but she noticed the girls coming from behind me. When they joined us, each of them questioning what was happening. "Why are they here?" Applejack asked.

"This! Is! An! Intervention! We! Brought! All! Your! Friends!"

"Then where's Rainbow?" She asked.

"She's! Sleeping! Off! An! Injury! You! Gave! Her!"

Applejack's eyes widened at my proclamation. "What? Ah didn't hurt her! Ah couldn't have!"

"Well! You! Did! She! Said! So! Herself! Before! She! Passed! Out!"

Applejack finally felt her fatigue getting to her, and she plopped onto the ground. "No way..."

I stepped closer, placing a supportive hoof on her shoulder. "Your! Actions! Are! Hurting! Your! Friends! While! You! Can! Do! It! On! Your! Own! It's! Not! Worth! The! Cost!"

"So ah actually got Rainbow hurt?" Applejack looked around the dirt in silence for a few moments, then looked up at us. "Maybe ah have been workin' too hard. Twilight? Girls? Do ya think you could help me out?"

The others nodded their agreement, while I spoke aloud for them. "What are friends for?"

"Uh, come again?"

Ugh. "What. Are. Friends. For?"

"Oh. Thanks."

The girls and I were spotting for Applejack while she got some sleep. Fluttershy was placing apples in buckets, Rarity was using magic to harvest trees faster, which left Pinkie and I to carry loads of apples back to storage. With the four of us working together like this, we were getting everything done faster than Applejack did on her own. With all of us working together, we weren't getting tired any time soon, either. All in all, helping Applejack was the best thing to happen to her all week.

She woke up eventually, and came outside to see the day's work was almost done already. When I saw her, I also saw an opportunity to get to the bottom of a concern I've had for a little while. Pinkie was kind enough to take over the hauling alone, allowing me to talk with Applejack. She still looked tired and awful, but she was much better than she was earlier.

"Hey Applejack, you feeling alright?"

Applejack nodded with a smile. "Yeah. Thanks fer talkin' sense into me. Ah can only imagine how badly ah would've messed up at Sugarcube Corner."

I chuckled politely. "Yeah, that could have been a disaster. Anyway, I wanted to talk to you."

"What about?"

I dropped any pretense that this was going to be a light conversation. This was a discussion. "Applejack, how do you feel about me?"

Applejack suddenly went tense. "What do you mean? Yer a good friend."

I wasn't buying that crap. "Don't play with me. You were awfully rude to me, and I doubt your fatigue had anything to do with it. So, what's the problem?"

Applejack wasn't very keen on keeping eye-contact anymore. She was trying to avoid the question. "Ah don't wanna talk about it after what you just did to help. It wouldn't be right."

"No. You're going to tell me what I'm doing to upset you. If we are going to be friends, then we have to be able to speak our minds. So what is it?"

Applejack sighed in resignation. "Fine. You wanna know what my problem is, then ah'll tell you." She looked me right in the eye, and spoke as plain as day. "Yer a snake."

My brow straightened at the statement. She came up with that answer awfully fast. "Could you explain?"

Applejack nodded solemnly. "You refuse to tell us the truth about yourself. Ah'm still not sure whether yer from Fillydelphia or Canterlot, or even if you know about yourself as well as you say you do. Worst of all, you made Rarity go crazy on poor Rainbow about her darned dresses. Ah think she was askin' you about tryin' on some dresses and you turned her over to one of yer friends instead of dealin' with her yourself, right?" I nodded the affirmative, but my frown only deepened. "Yeah, that's what ah thought. Yer a lyin', deceivin', snake. That's why ah don't like you."

I looked down, having the courtesy to look ashamed of my deception until now. After a moment of silence, I looked back up to her. "You're right. I'm sorry that I haven't been the best friend that I could be."

Applejack smiled expectantly. "So you're gonna tell us about yourself for real, now?"

Applejack didn't realize just how deep those words just cut into me. While she just saw a tiny wince, she could be assured that she struck me to the core. "I'm sorry, but I can't do that. There are just some things that I'm not ready to reveal."

Applejack didn't bother hiding how disappointed she was. "Ah see."

I sighed. "I hope we can still be friends, despite me not wanting to talk too much about myself."

Applejack gave it a moment of consideration, and finally sighed. "Ah don't like it. But ah suppose ah can't force you to do something you're not comfortable with. Sure, we're still friends."

Applejack and I shared what's called a "brohoof". I may not be as honest as I wanted to be to the friends that deserve it, but I swore that I would be the best friend I could be.

Author's Note:

Tricky question: Is the chapter title referring to the main character being a lying prick, or Applejack being a rude bitch? You decide!

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