Rage Issues of an Aspiring Dragon Slayer
About a week passed since that chair hit my face. For a while there, Spike was still a little upset about me getting a bruise, but I always tried brushing off his concern. Soon enough, we got got back to business as usual, and I finally memorized the Sleep spell. I was relatively glad that I had done so, and it was about time. While I was at it, I managed to get a basic Energy Bolt spell. Non-lethal, and hits like a brick? Sold.
When I wasn't poring over various magic texts, I was settling down with some of Spike's comics. It took him a little while to get used to me reading comics as often as I did, but he was soon playing live and let live about it. Though sometimes, he starts talking to me about them. Which brings me to the conversation we were having about the most important of important things.
"I'm telling you, Zapp totally has a thing for Mistress Mare-velous!" I was, of course, talking about the Power Ponies. In particular, we were discussing the possibility of romantic interest among the team.
"That's ridiculous." Spike dismissed. "Why would Zapp, of all ponies, be into Mistress Mare-velous?"
"Mare-velous is strong, athletic, and good with rope. Of course Zapp would be attracted to her."
"Okay, but what makes you think she has feelings for her? It's not like they ever talk about it."
I took out the fifth issue of the Power Ponies weekly comics and opened it to a particular page. "Look right here." I pointed at a picture of Mare-velous hugging Zapp in gratitude for saving her from some kind of trap. "Look at Zapp's cheeks. She's blushing."
"That doesn't really mean anything. She's smiling too, so it could just be her cheeks reddening from her smile."
I shook my my head. "No way. Look at the next panel. She's staring at Mare-velous with that dreamy look, how can that not be infatuation?"
Spike leaned forward, squinting hard at the picture. "Huh. Okay, that's a little strange. I didn't notice that before."
I nodded my head, affirming my theory. "Told ya there was romance in those comics. While we're at it, I think Radiance and Saddle Rager might have something going on."
Spike frowned at me. "What? That's crazy, Humdrum has a crush on Radiance! It's only recognized as a major aspect of Humdrum's character, so why would they establish his crush only for it to go unfulfilled?"
I shrug. "It opens the story up for some drama later. I can think of plenty of ways they can have Humdrum realize his crush was for nothing. He could start running as a solo hero, he could turn evil, he could let it go; we can go anywhere with this unrequited love."
"That's just sad, though, even for Humdrum. What do you think he'll do if his crush is unrequited?"
"Personally, I favor the Evil Option. I mean, have you seen some of the looks he gets from the Mane-iac? I think they have the potential for an evil super-duo similar to The Joker and Harley Quinn."
"The Joker and Harley Quinn? Who are they?"
Augh! Did I seriously just slip again? Okay, just play it cool. "Nobody. They're just characters from another comic I read once."
"Which comic?"
"I can't remember."
Spike gave me a disappointed look. "Really? You forgot something you read? That's a first for you, Twilight."
I was about to make a snarky remark, but a knock came at the door. I groaned not only at the knocking at the door (to a library take the hint) but at the interruption to our intellectual conversation. And so the interruptions begin.
I opened the door to find a smiling Rarity with saddlebags, unsurprisingly. I almost forgot she was coming by everyday to convince me to wear some makeup and hide my "unsightly" bruise. "Hi, Rarity. Come on in." I stepped aside to allow her access, and I turned to Spike with a grin that was almost sinister. "Check it out, Spike. Rarity came over for a visit! We were just talking about love, isn't that right?"
To my great amusement, Spike blushed. I found out pretty soon after Rarity's daily visits began that dragons could blush, and I was finding any excuse I could to make it happen. It never got old. Spike got flustered, and stammered a "H-hi."
Rarity came in with a happy greeting of her own. "So Twilight, I was thinking you could try one of these exquisite lavender makeup kits. Look, it even comes with matching mascara!" She levitated one of the kits out of her saddlebags to present it to me.
I rolled my eyes at the offer of feminine beauty products. "Rarity, I've told you for the past six days that I have no interest in makeup."
"Please? I just can't stop thinking about that brutish mark that foul avian left on your face!"
"No thanks. I like it, it makes me look tough."
"No offense to you, darling, but it looks horrid. I can't let something get in the way of my friends' inner beauty!"
"No offense to your fashion sense, but my inner beauty has more to do with swords and maces. And rings of fire. And other guy things."
Rarity looked bemused. "You do realize that you're a mare, right?"
I groaned again. "Yeah, I get that a lot."
Spike burped loudly and the room was filled with a bright green light. I spun to face Spike who caught a scroll out of the air from a cloud of smoke. "Got a letter from the princess for you, Twilight!" He announced like nothing strange happened.
"Did you just belch a scroll?" I asked.
"Yeah, here you go." He tossed it at me, and I caught it with my hoof. I glanced between it and Spike, wondering if I should be asking more questions about this. I decided against it. I swear, something is going to happen one day that is weird even by Ponyville standards, and I'm going to think nothing of it. I unrolled the scroll to read it.
Dear Twilight, it began.
By now, you may have noticed that column of smoke on the horizon. Smoke? What smoke? I walked over to the window and peeked outside. Instantly, I saw the column of smoke in the letter. Damn, that thing looks ominous. What is it? I continued through the letter.
Have no fear, for it is not a wild fire that will engulf Ponyville. It is merely a dragon sleeping in a nearby mountain cave.
"'Merely a dragon!?'" I yelled in disbelief, startling the other two in the room. "Well what a fucking relief! I can sleep better tonight knowing that there's a dragon filling the sky with choking smoke!"
Spike shifted uncomfortably while I continued reading. However, its snoring is filling the skies of Equestria, and I fear the long-term damage this may cause. I task you and your friends with this important mission: Persuade the dragon to take his nap elsewhere. I am counting on you.
I threw the scroll onto the floor. "Fuck!"
This second outburst startled them again. "What seems to be the problem?" Rarity tentatively asked.
I shook my head angrily. "Oh nothing. It's just that you, me, and the rest of our friends have to scale a mountain and ask a dragon to take a hike, that's all."
Rarity gasped. "Oh my! That seems to be a monumental task for us! Why can't Celestia have the royal guard do this?"
I made an exaggerated shrug. "I dunno. She just up and left us with the job, so it falls on us to save Equestria again. You know, the usual thing."
"Hmm, I suppose this should be easier than dealing with Nightmare Moon. All we have to do is convince him to leave, right?"
I shrugged again. "I guess. I mean, we could bribe him into leaving, and that would make things a lot easier."
Spike looked uncertain about this plan. "Bribery? I dunno, that sounds shady."
I glared offended at Spike. "Hey, I'll have you know that bribery is a legitimate diplomatic strategy!"
Spike held up his hands, trying to defuse the situation. "Okay, fine. What are you going to give him?"
I pondered this. What would a gargantuan, man-eating, sapient greed machine want? I instantly thought of jewelry. Dragons liked shiny stuff, right? "I got it. We'll give him loads of money and jewels. With such an offering, he'll do exactly as we ask."
"Well personally, I'd rather try flattery, but we can do it your way." Rarity conceded. "You go tell our friends what's happening, and I'll go get ready."
We nodded in agreement and went our separate ways.
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I found the others near town hall, and told them what was happening. Since we were the ones who had to deal with the dragon, I asked them to get supplies and be ready at the base of the mountain. They all agreed to go on another adventure with me (with the possible exception of Fluttershy, it's always hard to tell with her). We split up and I returned to the library. With a little help from Spike, I gathered everything I would need: one saddlebag filled with mountain climbing gear including a grappling hook (that we have for unknown reasons), the other saddlebag filled with bits and extra gems, and a sandwich for if I get hungry.
We met up near the mountain, each member of my party wearing saddlebags with the exception of the pegasi. Made sense, since they would need their wings to fly. With all of us gathered, I would explain what my plan was. "Alright girls, here's the plan. We're just going to go up this mountain to the cave with smoke coming out of it. There's a dragon in there, so we'll need to convince him to go somewhere else. I'm going to try bribing him with valuables, but we might need to have some backup plans if my offering is insufficient. And this time, I think we should avoid fighting."
"Yeah, that's gotta be a change of pace for you!" Rainbow snarked. I shook my head with a chuckle.
Applejack looked up to the top of the mountain. "It looks mighty chilly up there."
"Good thing I brought my scarf." Rarity pulled out a striped pink scarf and wrapped it around herself. Pinkie stared at the scarf in awe. What can I say? It was pink. It wasn't my kind of thing.
Rainbow, ever the heckler, joked about the scarf. "Yeah, that'll keep nice and cozy."
Trying to get everyone on track, I spoke up. "We should get going. We're not in any hurry, but the sooner we do this the better."
Someone was mumbling something, but I ignored it. If it was important, they would have spoken up. I waved for everyone to follow me, and we were on our way. Rainbow hovered next to me and whispered into my ear. "Do you think it's a good idea to bring Fluttershy along? She's scared of her own shadow."
"Think of her as a last resort." I said. "I saw her tame a manticore. A dragon shouldn't be too much trouble for her."
"If you say so."
We walked casually along the path to the mountain. Rainbow suggested we scale the side of it, but I said "fuck that" with a little chiding from Rarity. There was a convenient path leading further up the mountain, and why wouldn't we use that? Always take the easy way forward.
So we traveled further up the mountain along the long, winding path. Rainbow was getting impatient, since she could have just flown straight to the top, but we managed to convince her to stick with us. As an incentive to stick around, we made light conversation. We didn't talk about much, really. Goofy stories, celebrity gossip, failed attempts at making tabletop roleplaying games, stuff like that. Though, Rainbow was particularly obsessed with the Wonderbolts. I wonder if that's going to be a problem. This would have been fine, if it weren't for the dragon's snoring always interrupting me. Always me, never someone else. I think this dragon hates me, and we haven't even met.
At the end of the path, there was a small gap between two different portions of the mountain. It wasn't that big, but it was narrow enough that we had to go one at a time. The girls and I didn't really think about it too much, but when I looked back, I found Fluttershy cowering from the gap. "Fluttershy, what's the hold up? It's your turn to jump!"
"But it's so wide! And we're up so high!"
I facehoofed for the first time that day. "Oh my God." I looked up at Rainbow. "Is it even possible for a pegasus to get acrophobia?"
"Isn't that the one with spiders?"
"No, that's arachnophobia. Acrophobia is the fear of heights."
"...You're making that up."
I shook my head in frustration. "Ugh, this is such bullshit." I grabbed Fluttershy in my levitation and carried her over. She thrashed about in fear, but I kept my straining focus on getting her across. Finally, I set her down across the gap and released my magic. "Problem solved. Let's continue."
I got some funny looks from my friends, but I shrugged it off. We were making progress, weren't we? We carried on, but I failed to realize how shaken Fluttershy was.
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"...and I said 'oatmeal? Are you crazy?'" Pinkie giggled at her anecdote, while the others visibly suppressed groans.
I was the only one to voice some kind of opinion about it. "It's interesting how often you get to use that phrase in your life." I commented with deadpan sarcasm.
"I know, isn't it just the greatest?" Naturally, Pinkie missed my sarcasm by a mile.
"Are we almost there, yet? I'm falling asleep over here." Rainbow complained.
"Sorry Rainbow, but you know as well as I that traveling is the worst part of any adventure." I said.
"Ugh. I just wish something exciting happened." She pouted.
There was a cracking noise above us. We all looked up where we heard the noise, and we couldn't help but notice that there were an awful lot of cracks in the cliff face. "Uh, Twi? Is this an avalanche zone?" Applejack asked.
"Uh, is it?"
Applejack shot me a panicked glare. "Did ya forget to bring a map of this here mountain?"
I returned the glare, adding confusion to the mix. "Wait, we map mountains, now?"
"Girls, please!" Rarity whisper-shouted, interrupting us. "Keep it down! We wouldn't want our voices to start an avalanche on us, now would we?"
I chuckled. "Aw, don't worry about it. None of us have voices loud enough to start an avalanche. That's just a myth." A loud snore from the dragon tore through the mountain, causing a few loose rocks to tumble down. "Though we stand to benefit greatly by moving quickly. Let's hurry." I added nervously.
Just as we picked up the pace, one rock too many fell out of place, and an avalanche started for real. The mountainside rumbled with falling stones and boulders, and we broke into gallops to get out there as soon as possible. We each jumped out of the way of boulders crashing down, trying without avail to escape the area of effect. I was in a bit of a panic, myself. I narrowly avoided one boulder after another, but I soon found myself trapped in place with a boulder falling right for me. In a panic, I grabbed the boulder in my levitation and directed it towards one of the boulders around me. Fortunately, both boulders smashed into pieces, pelting me with the rock fragments, and I took that opportunity to run away from a boulder that nearly crushed me.
With what remained of my luck, I just escaped the avalanche and found my friends waiting for me. The avalanche died down, but our path was covered in rocks. We all took a moment to catch out breath. "Everyone okay?" I asked.
Rarity gasped at me. "Twilight! You've been cut!"
When Rarity said that, I noticed that my forehead stung. I brushed my hoof on my head and felt a slight dampness there. I brought back my hoof to see it was slightly red. I was certainly in no danger, as the bleeding was no worse than cutting oneself on accident when shaving. This would also make for a cool story to tell folks back in town, but the fact remains that I got hurt (in a body that I don't own) because of a dragon's negligence. I glared up where I supposed the dragon was. I swear, if dragons didn't scare the piss outta me...
"Um, Twilight?"
Rarity's voice brought me out of my revenge fantasy. "Oh, sorry about that. I'll be fine. Let's just get rid of this dragon, already."
We climbed over the rubble, with Fluttershy in the back. When we peaked over the other side of the rubble, Fluttershy slipped and slid into the rest of us. I groaned. I couldn't wait until this adventure was over with.
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Finally, we arrived at the cavern entrance from where the smoke was emerging. I couldn't say I was glad, because I just wanted the dragon to leave, already. Too bad that I was the one who had to do something about it. We were doing alright, and spirits were relatively high among my friends. All things considered, we could be doing worse.
I looked into the cave, but it was too dark to see anything inside. There was no doubt that the dragon was inside, but I couldn't see him from here. "Well, the bastard's got to be in here."
"Language." Rarity chided.
"Nuh uh, that son of a bitch cut my face. I apologize for nothing." I growled. Rarity and the others recoiled from my growling rage. "Let's just get this over with. Fluttershy, I think I'm gonna need your help."
Fluttershy squeaked in surprise. "M-me?"
"Yeah. You have an uncanny ability to reason with unreasonably dangerous monsters. I think you have the best shot at calming down a waking dragon."
"Uhm, I... I'm not going."
I turned to Fluttershy in shock. "What do you mean you're not going? The whole reason we came up here was to confront this dragon about his snoring!"
Fluttershy shrunk back from my yelling. "I'm scared."
I stared at Fluttershy, letting the news sink in. You've got to be kidding. "But you've calmed down a manticore. Calming dangerous creatures is what you do."
"Not dragons! They're big, they have big teeth, and sharp scales, and big horns, and can eat a whole pony in one bite!" Fluttershy dropped to the ground and began shivering in fear, just thinking about it.
I stared perplexed at the quivering mare. "If you're so scared of dragons, then why did you want to come along?"
"I didn't. I was too scared to speak up."
The others groaned at that, but her statement confused me. As scared of the dragon as she is, something scared her into silence earlier. I sat in front of her, which startled her. "Fluttershy, why were you scared? It couldn't have been the dragon itself, since it was so far away. So what kept you from speaking up?"
Fluttershy stared at the ground, contemplating on her answer, while I silently waited for her answer. "...You did."
I leaned forward, sure that I heard her incorrectly. "I'm sorry? Did you just say that I scared you?"
Fluttershy meekly nodded. "You're scary. You were so mean to that poor manticore in the forest and you're almost always angry at something. You yell a lot, and get into fights. I think you have more in common with Gilda than any of us."
I took it all in with a mix of shock and confusion. Fluttershy's mention of the manticore as "poor" aside, I had no idea that I was doing so much to intimidate her. So much so, that she was comparing me to Gilda, of all people. While I wanted to correct her on that point, I knew that wouldn't be doing me any favors. Fluttershy was distressed, and I needed to do something about. After all, I was the reason for her distress. "Do you really think I'm that bad?"
Fluttershy nodded, still avoiding eye contact.
I sighed. I put a reassuring hoof on her shoulder, and she initially tried to back away. She stopped, though, when she noticed how remorseful I looked. "Fluttershy, I don't mean to scare you. I'll be the first to admit that I have some anger issues. Hell, I've gotten into trouble because of it, many times. I come across as very aggressive, and I realize that, but I didn't realize that it was pushing away one of my friends. I'm sorry, Fluttershy. I want us to get along, but I know that I can't let my temper get the better of me if we are to continue being friends." Fluttershy looked up at me, and for the first time since we met, she looked into my eyes. "If I promise to control myself, will you give me another chance to show that I can be a friend you want?"
Fluttershy stared into my eyes for what seemed like a long time, before she gave me a little smile. "Okay." She said in what could almost charitably be called a normal speaking voice. "If you say you want to be my friend, then that's good enough for me."
We stood up, and I smiled back at her. "So, are we good?" She nodded in response. "Good. From now on, please speak up when you have a concern. I don't want to ask anything of you that you're not comfortable with, okay?"
"Okay. If I have any problems, I'll talk to you."
I nodded in affirmation, and smiled. "Good. I'm glad we had this talk." I turned back to the dragon's cave. "It's time we convinced this dragon to sleep somewhere else. What do you say, Fluttershy? Do you want to come inside with me, and speak with it?"
Fluttershy shrank back, but much less than last time. "Um, sorry, but I'd rather not. I'm still scared."
"I understand. I'll be right back, hopefully with news of my success." With that, I stepped into the darkness of the dragon's lair.
My eyes adjusted to the darkness, and I could see within the cave. Smoke constricted my view, but it did nothing to keep me from seeing the massive pile of treasure. This hoard was excessive, I mean damn. Dunes of gold coins filled the chamber with their brilliance, jewelry sparkled enticingly, and I swore there were more treasure chests than there were ponies! There was even a glowing sword sticking out of the hoard! It took every ounce of self control I had to resist the urge to grab some of it. Surely the dragon wouldn't miss just one treasure chest filled with gold and jewelry, right? Wait, no, stop! Focus! I had to get rid of the dragon first.
Loot then, right?
Speaking of the mighty beast, the dragon itself was lounging upon the bulk of his hoard. Fluttershy undersold just how big this guy was. Even when sleeping and reclining, he still towered over me. His head was taller than I was, and that was disregarding the rest of him. The dragon lazily scratched his belly with its massive red claws, and placed it back on its resting place. Though with the sheer size and strength of the beast, it released a shockwave the nearly sent me to the floor. I regained my balance and got closer to the dragon, suddenly wary of how insignificant I really was.
"Uh, excuse me." I yelled over his snoring. The dragon stirred and grouchily glared at me with piercing yellow eyes. I shivered from the intimidating stare of his massive eyes. "Sorry to wake you, but your snoring is covering Equestria in smoke. More power to you for taking a nap, but we only ask that you do it where your smoke won't damage Equestria's ecosystem." I poured out the saddlebag filled with money onto the floor in front of me. "In exchange for you finding a new place to rest, I offer this modest pile of gold, composed of three hundred pieces."
The dragon looked over the bits, and dragged it over to him with one of his massive claws. I took this a good sign, especially so when he stretched. But then he plopped right back down on his hoard and blew at me. The breath threw me across the chamber, and I tumbled out of the cave. My friends approached me. "So, is he leaving now?" Rainbow asked.
I looked back into the cave, and saw the dragion smirking before my eyes readjusted to the light. It was that day I learned that rage was stronger than fear. "That son of a bitch! He took my money!" I jumped up from my landing spot and stomped towards the dragon's lair.
My friends held me back, rightfully fearing my safety. "Calm down, Twilight. There ain't no use fightin' a critter that big!" Applejack warned, trying her best to defuse my explosive rage.
"Fuck that, I know dragons can be killed! I'm going to slay him, rip off his head, stuff it, and mount it in town hall so that future generations will know WHAT HAPPENS TO PEOPLE WHO FUCK WITH ME!"
Fluttershy instantly retreated from me, choosing to hide behind a rock. Applejack got into my face. "Calm down." She commanded.
"But he took my money!"
"Ah know, but you have to control yerself. Ain't this the kind of thing you said you would keep under control? Yer scarin' Fluttershy again."
My face face contorted with frustration, and I blew out a hefty sigh. "Fine, I'll just let off some steam out here. Good luck with the dragon."
The others let me go, and true to my word, I stayed out of the cave. I paced back and forth along the wall, letting my frustrations out in a more productive way than fighting a titanic red monstrosity.
I wasn't paying much attention to what everyone else was doing. I think Rarity went in next, trying to charm the dragon. That failed, since she was trying to get to his treasure. Pinkie went in after her, but that failed even faster. Rainbow was next, but this time things went even worse. Rainbow was flung out of the cave, colliding with the others. Now it was personal. This asshole was attacking my friends, so it was time to skin this lizard.
I knew I had little means to fight the dragon, but I did remember seeing a sword in the cave. I ran into the cave, bypassing the dragon who was chasing after my friends. I got to the sword, but I needed my hooves to run. With no other option, I grabbed it with my magic, and ran back to the dragon. The others were huddled together in fear, while the dragon loomed over them. Using a rock as a platform, I took a mighty leap, and let loose a heroic battlecry of "DRAG-ON SLAY-ER!" as I grabbed ahold of the glowing blade with my hooves, turning it over to stab into the beast.
Sure, I hit the dragon. The sword even cut into the scales like butter. However, I failed to consider that the dragon's scales were thicker than the blade's length, so it did no damage. Even if the sword breached its skin, that leaves me with giving it a paper cut on the only part of its body I could reach: its ass.
So I stabbed into the scales of the dragon's ass-cheek, and the sword got stuck. I hung there by the hilt of the sword, feeling rather embarrassed. The dragon peered at me looking unamused. I also learned that day that dragons had prehensile tails, which he used to flick me into another rock. It was such a powerful blow, that the rock I collided with split in half. It was rather fortunate that the rock was there, as I would have been flung off the mountain otherwise.
Behind that very rock was my timid friend, Fluttershy. I couldn't immediately tell, since I was writhing in pain with my eyes shut, but Fluttershy was pissed. She flew right up to the dragon and chewed him out for what felt like ten minutes (because of my pain or not is up for debate). I wasn't really paying attention, not after that awesome blow I took, but I caught a few words. She called him a bully, she extracted an apology, and she even reduced the fucker to tears! If I wasn't moaning like a zombie, I would have been laughing.
Fluttershy sure sent him packing. He flew off to find a better place to sleep, and we finally completed our mission. Fluttershy came over to make sure I was okay, and we got ready to head back home. But before we left, I noticed a sword sticking out of the ground. It was the glowing sword that I used earlier! You know I took that with me. That dragon stole my money, but I stole his awesome sword.
Applejack was nice enough to support me as we made our way home.
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Along the way to Ponyville, I limbered up enough to walk myself. Arriving back in town was a huge relief to us. Pegasi from around town cleared up whatever smoke still remained, and everything was back to normal.
We went back to the library, where I hung my new sword on the wall in the bedroom. Spike was relieved that he no longer had to look after some annoying as fuck rabbit, and even more so when he saw me return. Fluttershy was still with us, which was the perfect opportunity for me to talk to her.
"Thanks again for everything you've done, Fluttershy." I said.
"You're welcome. I'll gladly be brave for my friends." We smiled at each other. It was good to hear that she acknowledged me as her friend.
"So I guess you learned something for your friendship reports, huh Twilight?" Spike asked.
I looked over at Spike with confusion. "My what?"
"Your friendship reports. You know, the ones you have to send to Princess Celestia about what you learn of friendship?"
I scoured my mind for any reference to when I might have first heard about them. I just then realized that I was supposed to be writing those since I first moved to Ponyville.
"Oh shit!" I ran upstairs to begin writing, leaving Spike and Fluttershy to their bewilderment.
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Twilight you might need anger management training and probably sword wielding practice (also good chapter so far)
I was wondering about the reports.
I think forgetting about the friendship reports may turn out to be one of "Twilight"'s luckiest breaks yet: I'm sure Spike will be relieved to see Twilight finally panicking about something again.
Yay!
Ah finally, friendship reports.
I haven't read this chapter yet, but I felt I should point out something:
There are eight instances total of faulty BBCode appearing in the text of this chapter.
Friendship Report time!
*stares at blank paper while sweating like a pig*
Again with the swearing.. he's also addicted to drinks (booze/beer) and cigarettes and crap like that. Why do I have to live on this stupid planet. And I'm being serious right now.
Wish it would've been me stuck in Equestria
I lost it, this is hilarious. Twilight has a good angry voice too.
6102801 Then write a story about it.
If it was me I would be singing the Skyrim theme and "The Dragonborn Comes"
Meanwhile in Canterlot
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6351327
LMAO I've never seen this one before. Too funny.
I thought Twilight was going to kick the dragon in the balls or something like she did with the manticore. That could have been a really funny running joke with this story. Especially when Discord shows up lol.
images.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=http%3A%2F%2Fderpicdn.net%2Fimg%2Fview%2F2014%2F3%2F14%2F575318__safe_solo_twilight%2Bsparkle_animated_upvotes%2Bgalore_bipedal_fighting_artist-colon-rouletteobsidian_punching.gif&f=1
The dude who replaced Twilight has quite the temper.
Perhaps that's why the "eastern European guy in Liberty City" went quiet: he switched places with a purple pony in another dimension.
6592187
And...as far as I'm concerned, this is now canon.
I would even go as far and say there could be a Romance too!
6592187 Is that a reference to Niko Bellic? XD
6592187 Referencing a reference. 10/10
6079496
I'll admit that I don't much care for the rage-addiction aspect of the personality, and the over-cursing start to annoy me after a bit as well, but we WERE WARNED in the story's description before we even clicked chapter one. I'll prolly keep rreading anyway because the story amuses me so far, but if it really bothers you THAT MUCH, why not just....ya know, stop reading it?
Though seeing as you made that post WEEKS ago, you prolly did.
Dang, why do I always find fics after they've been running for months and months?
Oh well, more to read and less to wait for.
6079496 My good sir, not everyone(And by that I mean the majority of people aren't) are upright citizens who drink modestly and abstain from cigarettes. Quite a few drink heavily and smoke quite a bit, to say him, a random person, is like every other HiE(Meaning goodie-two-shoes) is stereotyping.
Coming from a guy that swears a lot, this guy swears like there is no fucking tomorrow.
7985695
Plot twist, the lesson he actually needs to learn top be sent back is stop swearing,
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Oh fuck the hell yes. That's a badass Twilight Sparkle gif.
como no ofrece descripción voy a imaginar la espada mas genial que pueda
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But anger management he needs. A lot of it.
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I see your months and raise you half a decade.
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Ditto
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Too bad I can’t see it
Oh Spike... If only you were part of the MLP Writing staff.
they were unfriendshippable dicks to gilda and what would spike say if he knew twilight tried to stab a dragon without him. friendship is ganging up to ostracize that one minority girl we dont like from our clique, show her for trying to maintain a friendship after rainbow transferred to a better neighborhood
The phrasing is shady but theres nothing about shady about just payin' a dragon to nap elsewhere(because his smoke is a environmental hazard)
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She broke Pinkie's property, constantly berated her, elbow'd spike....her yelling at pinkie for presumably settting up a shit-ton of pranks I can understand, but the shit before that...
She's not just the poor sad odd man out that got abandoned by her friend, shes a bit of a dick that refused to try to get along with anyone but her original friend, and got given the opportunity to make amends before choosing to give up due to pride.