I trotted down the streets of Ponyville one fine morning with saddlebags filled with groceries. Ordering takeout was fine and all, but we had to occasionally get something healthier and cheaper. Actually, I wasn't sure if the fast food places in Ponyville were anything like the ones back home. In my world, fast food was greasy because we often dealt with meat, so would that carry over to exclusively vegetarian meals? I'd have to look that up.
Regardless of my reasoning, I went shopping that day. Needless to say, normal food wasn't the only thing on the shopping list (there was no shopping list, a fact that made Spike roll his eyes). I made sure to grab a few snacks for my own chowing pleasure. After all, I planned to buckle down on my divinations the next day. The combination of Canterlot Chews, Cherry Blossom brand gummies, and orange soda would make for a perfect all-night research binge. Though come to think of it, I was also going to binge on candy and carbonated drinks.
As I walked along with a general plan in mind, I noticed Rarity just down the street. Wouldn't you know it, she was walking in my direction. It wouldn't hurt to have a little mid-morning chat with my friend, so we met in the middle of the marketplace and began to talk.
"Hey Rarity, how's it going?"
"Quite well. I somehow managed to get that colossal order completed." Rarity sighed with relief.
"That's good, though I've been wondering something. Who needed all those gold robes, anyway?"
"A group that called themselves the Association of Glittery Things. I'm not quite sure who they are, but they are apparently a big deal in Canterlot. Not that I've heard of them, so I suppose they must be secretive."
"Sounds like it. So what do they do? Are they wealthy bankers that have parties in hidden locations? Form a congregation of chanting druids for the glory of money?"
Rarity chuckled. "Considering Canterlot nobility, it's probably the latter. So what about you? How was your weekend?"
"Uh, could have been better."
"Really? Were the girls that much trouble?"
I shook my head. "No, but I failed in a little task of mine."
"Oh? What was it you were doing?"
"I was trying to get Fluttershy's kind and patient nature to rub off on me."
Rarity politely held back a snicker. "Really? And how did that work out for you?"
"I swore vengeance on a cockatrice instead."
Rarity tried and failed to hold back a single laugh. "I see. If it went that badly, you must have had a rough time of it."
"You don't know the half of it."
We spoke a little while longer just to catch up after the craziness of the weekend, but things in Ponyville are rarely so peaceful for long. I've learned that there is more than enough chaos to make sure that every day is hectic to some degree, but it can mostly be avoided when you stay inside. We were outside, which meant that the peace and (relative) quiet was as good as over.
I looked across the street through a crowd of shopping ponies to spy a spry Pinkie Pie, merrily skipping by and greeting everyone. Pinkie noticed me and waved enthusiastically. I waved back with Rarity joining in. Nothing too strange; just a few friends acknowledging one another. Then Pinkie's tail shook. When this happened, Pinkie's eyes widened in fright. She took a deep breath.
"TWITCHY TAIL!"
Pinkie's shout halted all activity in the marketplace. For a single moment, nobody moved. Everyone looked at Pinkie for a brief moment as if to process her words.
Then they panicked.
Chilling silence turned into deafening screams of terror as every pony ran away. Some ran into their homes, others ducked under stalls or hopped into trashcans as if to hide from a coming apocalypse. Even Rarity, a drama queen but no less a collected pony, shrieked about Sweetie Belle being at her house and ran off. I figured she meant that Sweetie was in danger of something, but that raised the question of what. Meanwhile, I stood there in a once crowded marketplace as its lifeblood poured in every which direction, once more questioning the sanity of the ponies and whether or not I should go loco as well.
Pinkie Pie was hiding under a bench for some reason, and she was definitely the one I needed to talk to for any of this to make any sense (if there was any sense to begin with). I casually walked over and knelt nearby. I asked the trembling pink pony, "Pinkie, what the hell just happened?"
Pinkie looked up at me with pleading and frightened eyes. "Find cover! Something's about to fall!"
I still didn't get it. What did anything up to now have to do with falling objects? "Okay, how do you know this?"
"Twitchy tail, Twilight! It makes perfect sense!"
"I'd argue about that, but I choose not to." I deadpanned. "Just for the record, please explain this stuff in a format that a logical mind can comprehend, okay?"
Pinkie nodded quickly. "It's my Pinkie Sense! Every time my body twitches or spasms, it means something is about to happen! Twitchy tail means something will fall on somepony!"
I sighed with exasperation. "Pinkie, just because you don't know how your body works doesn't mean that it's premonitory of something. That would be like saying a toilet bowl flushing clockwise is a sign of good fortune: it's nonsen-"
Something splatted against my face. Figures that my rant was interrupted by something seemingly proving me wrong. I opened my eyes and glared at the offending object. Said object croaked. It was a frog. Where did a frog even come from? I looked up to find my answer.
I saw Fluttershy flapping her wings in place, peering down at me apologetically. She had a cart of hopping mad frogs fastened to her, and it made no move to fall down. How was she doing that? How come pegasi were so good at breaking physics apart like a kid with a Transformers toy?
Have you ever had a Transformers toy? Trust me, those things break easily.
"Oh, I'm sorry Twilight!" She called down to me. "I was just helping all these froggies move to Froggy Bottom Bog."
I sighed and levitated the fallen frog up to his brethren. "It's okay; it was just a frog. At least it wasn't an anvil or a grand piano!"
"Were you expecting one of those?"
"No, but I wouldn't be surprised! By the way, are you still able to hang out tonight?"
Fluttershy shook her head. "Sorry, but I need to help these frogs adjust to their new lives in the swamp."
I balked. "That's going to take you all day? What are you doing, helping them one by one?"
"Yes; they each have their own sensibilities!"
I was about to argue, but I trailed a hoof down my face instead. Of course Fluttershy would treat frogs just like anyone else. "Sure, okay. I'll see you later, then!"
"Goodbye, Twilight!" With all her froggy friends accounted for, Fluttershy pulled away towards the Everfree Forest, where I assumed the bog was.
Pinkie crawled out from under the bench with a sigh of relief. "Whew, crisis averted. Twitchy Tail is over, everypony!"
With Pinkie's latest proclamation, every pony emerged from hiding and resumed their daily bustle as if nothing happened.
Looking around at all the people taking this crap for granted, I asked Pinkie "So what's with your Pinkie Sense, anyway? Does it really work so often that everyone takes it like the daily weather?"
"Yep! My Pinkie Sense has been predicting disasters for years!"
I gave it a little thought. Does Pinkie Sense make sense? Well, as far as Pinkie goes, it makes about as much sense as anything else about her. "Sure, of course your body spasms predict the future. I figured you were a telepath, anyways."
Pinkie scrunched up suddenly. She ground her teeth and shook like she was retching. Then she made an unexpected exclamation. "Beep!"
"What was that?"
"Involuntary beeping. Something disappointing must have happened." She explained.
I had a Quirky Eyebrow. Something weird must have happened. "...riiight."
"Mm-hm. So what are you doing tonight?"
"Well, I was going to hang out with Fluttershy, but I guess I don't have any plans now."
"Didn't you say you were trying to get anger management advice from her?"
"Uh, I'm pretty sure I didn't tell you that. Did someone else tell you?"
Pinkie smiled broadly. "Well what are you doing talking to Fluttershy? If you want to stop being angry, then you should talk to the Element of Laughter!" She suddenly leaned in next to me and whispered conspiratorially. "That means me."
"I know you're the Element of Laughter." I deadpanned. "And the point of the exercise was to keep me from getting into fights."
"Happy ponies don't start fights, either! Come on!" She bounced down the street. "Let's go make you the happiest pony who happens to not be me!"
I didn't immediately move to follow her. I knew I should probably accept her offer to help, at least for her sake. Hell, the worst case scenario was me getting burned out from Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie all day. The only other concern I had was whether or not Celestia would be pissed if I went with Pinkie's help instead of seeking Fluttershy's. I dismissed the possibility. I was sure that the princess would be okay with whatever I did, as long as I stopped getting kicked out of local businesses.
When Pinkie stopped to wave me over, I finally ran after her. I had to make a quick stop to drop off my saddlebags, but after that, I was going with Pinkie Pie to wherever she thought best to make me more positive. Whatever the hell that entails.
I followed Pinkie Pie to her chosen destination. I don't know what else I was expecting, but whenever I considered what she thought was "the happiest place ever", I imagined Sugarcube Corner. And wouldn't you know it, that's where we were. The place looked empty, though.
"Huh, I guess Mrs. Cake's tummy is bothering her again. Oh well, that just means it's you and me, Twilight!" Pinkie said, noting its emptiness and trotting inside.
There's a snarky voice in my head that would like to say I like where this is going, but I chose to ignore it. I followed her inside. "So what are we doing here? I wouldn't mind a cookie or something, but I doubt that's what we're here for."
"We're going to the basement!"
I looked at her as if she was as weird as she actually was. "What's so great about the basement?"
Pinkie giggled. "The Cakes don't go down there, anymore. Ever since I came here, I was in charge of the basement's inventory, and they never go down there to see what I stash there! I can do whatever I want in the basement!"
"Uh huh. So what are are we going to do there?"
"We're gonna talk!'
There was a brief pause in our conversation during which I hoped Pinkie would elaborate. She didn't. That left me to make my own conclusion, and I thought of the Circle from That 70's Show. "So we're going to get high and talk about random stuff?"
Pinkie giggled again. "Oh Twilight, you're so silly! Ponies don't get high in basements; they get lower!" She pushed past a door beyond the front counter and stepped down the stairs.
I rolled my eyes and followed. The stairway was so dark, that I could barely see the wooden steps leading down into an uncharacteristically mundane masonry room. At least I assumed the rest of the basement looked like the floor, because I couldn't see past the foot of the staircase. Pinkie disappeared into the darkness, but I could still hear her hoofsteps going just a bit further in.
I lit up my horn for a light spell, but the click of a lamp beat me to the punch. It was a black lamp hanging from the ceiling by a chain, shining a narrow conical field of light onto Pinkie Pie and a flat red sofa below, revealing nothing else in the room. The sofa was sloped, as if it was intended for naps instead of sitting. Pinkie stood at the head of the sofa and motioned to it. "Go ahead and lie down."
I looked between her and the sofa with a shrug. Hey, might as well. I lied on the sofa, placing my head on its slight incline. Oh yeah, it felt pretty good. "Alright, what's next?"
Pinkie turned and dragged a big red chair from out of the darkness. "Okie doki, now you just need to tell me your problems!"
I examined my surroundings once more. A sofa made for lying down, a big chair positioned by my head, and a helpful pony? "This is a psychiatry session, isn't it?"
"Yep!" Pinkie looked all around as if she was checking through a checklist of half-remembered psychiatry. "Oh, I know what I forgot!"
Zooming like the Roadrunner, Pinkie ran all around me in a haze. I couldn't follow her movements, so I didn't even try. She finally stopped, and stood over me to admire her handiwork. I slowly realized she was looking over me, so I looked down at myself. Odd, how did Pinkie strap me to the sofa without me feeling a thing? That was a pretty amazing, if nonsensical, skill.
Wait a minute... "Pinkie? Why did you bind me to the sofa?"
Pinkie shrugged. "Hey, it's what my psychologist did."
"Your psychologist did this? Wait, don't you mean psychiatrist?"
"Yeah, she said something about me being 'Obnoxious', but I've always been Pinkie Pie. I don't even know anypony named Obnoxious."
I looked up at Pinkie and wondered what significance that held. Whatever, this is Pinkie Pie we're talking about. She's a little weird. That being said, I figured it wouldn't hurt to joke around. "So I'm tied up in your basement now? You know, there's a voice in my head that wants to say I like where this is going, but I try to ignore it."
Pinkie stood over me and leaned down intently, leaving us face to face. "You can hear the voices, too?"
I was taken aback by Pinkie's insinuation that she heard voices. "Uh, no?"
Pinkie backed away with a pout. "Aw, I was really hoping there was another pony that could hear them. We could've had an invisible tea party, which is the best kind of tea party!"
"So... you are taking medicine for them, right?"
"Yeah, I do."
"And that stops them from talking, right?" I asked hopefully.
"Nah, they don't stop talking; they just start saying nice things."
With no further hesitation, I untied myself with my telekinesis and shot up to a sitting position. "Uh, if it's all the same to you, I'd rather not be bound to a chair."
Pinkie shrugged her indifference. "If you say so. Now, let's delve deep into your psyche and figure out what's troubling you."
Okay, so Pinkie really was playing psychiatrist. Might as well play along. "Sure thing; what do you think is the cause of my distress, doc?"
Pinkie giggled. "You called me a doctor! I don't even have a medical license!" Another giggle. "Right, this looks like the symptoms of childhood trauma!"
"What?" I balked incredulously. "You came to that diagnosis awfully fast! You didn't even ask me anything!"
"Oh, whoops! I'm forgetting lots of procedure!" Pinkie lightly bonked her head.
"Let me guess, that's what your psychologist did?"
"Pretty much."
I rolled my eyes. Some doctors in Equestria, I swear. "Right, well this is the part where you dig information out of my head."
"Won't I need a shovel for that?"
I sighed. "Not unless you have a mop, too. Look, how about I just skip to the part where I just start talking about myself and you pretend to take notes?"
"Okie Doki Loki!" Pinkie fished out a notepad and a pencil, opened the notebook, and immediately scribbled something down.
"You're already writing? What notes could you possibly have to write this early?"
"I'm drawing you with whipped cream on your horn! See?" Pinkie held out the notepad. Indeed, there was a crude outline of me with something foamy dripping down the front of my horn and onto my cheek.
"Uh... huh." I was wondering what should bother me more: that Pinkie only scribbled for a couple of seconds and still made something recognizable, or that her picture looked so risque. "I'm just going to start talking now."
"And I'll be here listening!" Pinkie resumed intently scribbling in her notebook.
I rolled my eyes once more, and began my tale. "So, I'm Twilight Sparkle."
"But I already know who you are." Pinkie interrupted.
I sighed again. "It's just how the first session starts. I'm doing it for posterity."
Pinkie only looked more confused. "Posterity? What do butts have to do with this?"
I looked up to the ceiling to see if God would explain why he was tormenting me so. He chose this time to be silent. "You're thinking of 'posterior', Pinkie. Posterity means for future generations, but for now, we can deduce that I meant for the benefit of future sessions with Doctor Pie, amateur psychiatrist."
"Oh, okay. Please continue."
"Right. So I come from..." I trailed off for a moment to recall what my "childhood" was like. A lot of it would have to be guesswork, since I didn't do much digging on Twilight's past. "...Canterlot, where I was born into a modest family." Next up, I was going to just sprinkle in a little truth and hope it didn't bite me in the ass. "My dad was an office guy; I didn't really know what he did. Mom was a teacher. She taught math to middle-schoolers, and came home smelling like peaches and alcohol. I guess she's where I got my taste for the stuff." I chuckled.
"Any brothers or sisters?" Pinkie asked.
Again, I was starting to regret focusing on expanding my arcane power instead of learning about who Twilight was. I just had to hope for the best. Hopefully the lack of contact from any siblings meant she had none, just like me. Then again, I haven't received any messages from my supposed parents either, and I doubted Twilight is an orphan. "No, I'm an only child."
Pinkie moaned sympathetically. "Sounds lonely, to me."
"I don't get lonely." I informed. "My only company for a long time was from bottles and books, yet I've never felt the sting of loneliness before."
"Didn't you have any friends at all?"
I shook my head. "No, didn't need 'em. Unlike everyone else, I was well enough on my own that I didn't need them cluttering my life."
Pinkie lowered her notebook. She was getting very concerned, all of a sudden. "You didn't want friends at all?"
"Look," I said, leaning forward and gesturing with my hooves like they were hands. "I'm an individual. A strong individual. The very last thing I needed was a bunch of people telling me to be less like me, and more like them. I choose for myself who I want to be, and I don't take crap from the posers around me. They didn't interest me and they weren't interested in me, so I was a loner." I rationalized.
"But you must have at least tried. Living life without friends is like life on a rock farm."
"... A rock farm?"
"Yeah."
"What's a rock farm? Isn't that basically a quarry?"
"No, we grew rocks and pushed them to the edge of the farm."
I had a couple of questions. How do you grow rocks? Is there a special kind of plant for rocks? Can you grow minerals? I went for the route of least resistance. "Then what?"
"Then we grow more rocks."
I scratched my ear as if my confusion was caused by a buildup of earwax. "Then what do you do with the rocks?"
"We push them."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"... Okay, I'll look it up later. What was your question again?"
"Did you ever try to make friends?" Pinkie rephrased.
"Right, right. Yeah, I've tried before. It didn't go so well."
"Well, what happened?"
I sighed and rubbed my head. "Let me preface by saying how much I've heard about friendship before I went to school. I've read many comics and instructional guides on friendship. They had a lot of advice, and I followed all of it: show interest in their likes, smile and be polite, and all that crap. It seemed to work. The first couple of kids actually talked to me and were really nice."
"That doesn't sound so bad." Pinkie commented hopefully.
I raised a hoof, motioning that she wait a moment before reaching conclusions. "At first. We played ball games and stuff, generally having a good time, but one day, I walked around a corner and I overheard them talking about me behind my back. They didn't have anything nice to say about me when I couldn't look 'em in the face, and believe me, they said some nasty things. Afterwards, I basically told them that they could suck it, and I spent the rest of the school year sitting in the back corner and reading where no one would bother me."
Pinkie faltered a bit, thinking of something encouraging to say. "Oh, that's pretty bad. But that was just one time, right?"
I motioned for her patience one more time. "The next school year, I didn't even get as far as a second sentence before they started calling me names. I didn't know it at the time, but those kids were already friends from the last school year, and they didn't take to well to an outsider trying to barge in. They picked on me for any detail they found, screwed around with my stuff when I wasn't looking, and blamed everything they ever did on me. The teacher, gullible prick that he was, ate up their accusations like a dog from its dish. I got held back that year for disciplinary issues alone, all because five people were too stubborn to talk to the new kid and the teacher was an ass-sac."
Pinkie winced at the increased intensity of my words. "That's even worse."
"Yeah, and after that, I just stopped trying. The next school year was a very positive experience for me. I didn't talk to anyone, I had a lot of free time to myself, and no one stopped me from doing whatever I wanted, so long as I did it alone. It was a cool year. Year after that, bullies started getting physical, so I got physical right back. A few broken noses and bruised faces were enough to keep them from fucking with me any further, and scared off anyone else from wanting to even look at me funny. I felt accomplished. Sure, I had a few disciplinary troubles for it, but I've never liked authority after first grade. They're blind, misguided idiots when they're not complete assholes, but their inattentive nature made me good at working in the shadows. They never turn around, so their backs made easy blind spots to exploit. Things got pretty quiet for the rest of my school life, until we eventually got to where we are now."
Pinkie's lip twitched deciding between a tentative smile or a sympathetic frown. "Wow, that's... unhappy. Where do I even start?"
I shrugged. "Start wherever."
"Okay... so how do you feel about Princess Celestia?"
I honestly pondered how to answer that question. Celestia was an authority, sure, but she was actually pretty nice. From what I could tell, Equestria flourished under her care and became a paradise. "Celestia is a good leader, unlike most. She seems to care, which would explain how spontaneous musical numbers are so common. If she were a tyrant, she would have outlawed that kind of thing to keep her subjects in line."
"How did you become her student, anyway? I didn't think the princess would have wanted to teach somepony with a violent history."
This required a little thought. Pinkie was right to assume the princess would reject a guy like me, but how could I convince her otherwise? "I guess she just saw something in me. Maybe she saw a hidden power or thought my guile would be a good fit for politics. Who's to say what her motivations were?"
Pinkie hummed thoughtfully. "I see. So you must have come out of your shell at some point, right? You wouldn't be so good at talking if you didn't."
"That's an easy one. Every time I bantered with someone was like a little practice session for me. I found out what makes someone angry and what makes them happy. It's just a matter of word choice and spontaneity."
"So you've spent your life pushing ponies away with your speaking skills?"
"Only when they were talking trash. I may not have wanted to make any friends, but that's no reason to be a dick."
Pinkie looked down at her discarded notebook in thought. "Okay, well at least I know what your problem is."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah, you're still upset about the colts and fillies that didn't like you."
I conceded with a casual shrug. "Yeah, I'll admit that I'm still bitter."
"But where does that leave us?"
"Us? You mean the two of us?"
"No, me and the girls; Rarity, Rainbow, Fluttershy, and Applejack."
"Oh. Well, you don't need to worry about me treating you all any differently. You're the first actual friends I've ever had."
Pinkie broke out a smile. "So you don't hold any illie-willies against us for being your friends when you didn't want any?"
I stifled a dismissive chuckle. "If by 'illie-willies' you mean 'ill will', then no. You five are the happiest accidents I've ever had. I'm glad I have the five of you for however long."
Pinkie frowned with concern again. "Wait, you're not going away, are you?"
"Huh? What gave you that impression?"
"Just now, you said you had us 'for however long'. Does that mean you're leaving?"
I slapped a hoof to my head. I got careless again, and let another bit of information slip. It was a pain, but I had to explain myself. "Okay, you got me. I'm not going to be in Ponyville for too long. I plan on leaving as soon as I can."
"But why?" Pinkie asked. "You said yourself that you're happy here, and that you have friends! How can you leave us behind?
"True, I have friends here that I actually care about. Believe me, no one is more apprehensive of leaving than I am, but I don't really have a choice. I don't want to leave, but I have to."
Pinkie's voice grew more worried and pleading. "But why? I don't want you to go! You actually listen to me! Unlike most ponies, you don't run away when I say something spooky!"
"Well, in my defense, I thought running away from you earlier would have just offended you, and you would have hunted me down and put me into pies or something."
Pinkie looked at me like I was crazy. "Pies? Why would I do pies when cupcakes are so much better?"
"Cupcakes are messy and impractical." I explained. "At least with pie, you have all this space to bake my insides."
"Oh yeah." Pinkie said, acknowledging a good idea when she heard one. "What about eclairs? Those can hold stuff, too!'
"Yeah, but I only see that working with stallions, and I doubt my horn would be big enough to hold much."
"What if I used intestines?"
I thought about it. "Yeah, that could work. I have to wonder if blood makes a good replacement for batter, because if it does, you could make muffins."
"Yeah, that would be interesting. See?" Pinkie gestured her hooves between us. "We're actually having a conversation about this! Anypony else would have awkwardly changed the subject!"
"Hmm, I guess so." I conceded. "I know what it's like to have things to say, but not having anyone who will listen."
"And when were you planning on telling us about your mystery trip? We would have missed you if you didn't say goodbye!"
I hung my head. "I wasn't planning on telling anyone. I don't want to rile you up with something like that."
"But we would miss you!" Pinkie argued. "We like you, Twilight, and we don't want to say goodbye!"
If only it were as simple as doing nothing. I wasn't going to say any more to Pinkie on that subject, but I knew my departure would be best with little fanfare, not to mention that there was a replacement waiting and ready for her return. "I'm sorry, but I'll have to leave at some point, and the earlier, the better."
"But why do you have to leave? Why can't you stay?"
"I have to leave because it's the right thing to do. I can't say why, just that it is."
Pinkie stared into my eyes with thought. "It's because of your secret, isn't it?"
"Yeah." Pinkie started tearing up out of guilt, and I waved my arms at her to hastily explain. "Wait, it's not your fault! I know you feel bad about the last time I tried to confess, but that's not the problem!" I let out a breath and calmly resumed. "It has nothing to do with how I feel about the five of you or how I think you'll react to the truth; it's the truth itself that compels me. I need to leave, and I've come to that conclusion months ago."
"You can't say why?"
"No, I'm sorry."
"And I can't convince you to stay?"
"I'm afraid not. You may not understand why just yet, but it's for the best."
Pinkie's gaze fell to the floor. I felt like a hole opened up in my stomach. It's never easy to tell your friends that you aren't long for the world, even if you're a bit ambiguous about it. I basically just told her that I was going to abandon my friends, so of course I felt like a right bastard. What could I say after that? Is there any easy way to reconcile with someone you've just upset?
I wasn't given a lot of time to think about it, for Pinkie looked back up to me with steel in her eyes and a determined smile on her face. "Well, if you won't be staying in Ponyville, then I'll just have to spend more time with you now!"
I was a bit taken aback by Pinkie's sudden turn around, but no less pleased. "Really?"
"Yeppers! You won't be around forever, so that means our time together right now is a lot more valuable!" Pinkie hopped next to me and grabbed me tight. "And no matter what, we'll always be friends! Pinkie Promise!"
I managed a half smile and hugged her back. "Yeah, I promise we'll always be friends."
Pinkie pushed away with an eager smile. "I got it! Let's go get some cupcakes! I know a place that makes the best cakes in town!"
I chuckled wryly. "Let me guess, Sugarcube Corner?"
"Yep! Their food is amazing! Let's go before a line forms up!" Pinkie bounded towards and up the stairs before I could say anything.
Not that I would have said anything against getting cupcakes, but there wasn't likely going to be a line since the store was closed. I held back on that and followed behind her. "So I suppose we're going to be spending more time together?"
"That's the plan!" Pinkie declared waiting on me at the top of the stairs. "I just know that you'll have such a good time that you'll never forget about us!"
I made a good show of smiling, but I suspected that she just let on more than she intended. I figured she wanted to make good with me and convince me to say, but I politely let it be. What's important was that we were going to have a good time together for as long as that would last.
As Pinkie stood in front of the counter, hopping back and forth to essentially take her own order, I stood aside and let it all sink in. My energetic friend was going to be around a lot more, and I liked that. It warms the heart to think that my friend wanted to make more of an effort to stand beside me.
Though I had to wonder about myself. I've been here for many months now, but how much of a friend have I really been? Was it enough to be around and do favors? Pinkie said my friends would miss me when I left, but how true was that?
I shook it off before Pinkie noticed my gloomy thinking. It would have to be enough. I'll make damn sure that Twilight has the best friends she possibly can before I leave. At least with Pinkie Pie, I know she'll be in good hooves.
I'm still waiting for real twi to meet fake twi.
Pinkie and Twilight bonded pretty well. And she was pretty understanding too. I really want to know what the end goal for the wizard was now... and about a dozen other things. Including what rock farms do. If only there were someone around who knew...
Well nuts.
Rock farming isn't really all that mysterious. You gather all the rocks from the surface of a field and sell them. You wait for a while, then gather the rocks that now sit on the surface of the field. Rocks appearing on the surface 'as if they grew from the ground' is nothing new.
Now why they aren't bothering to dig on those rock farms to reach the rocks beneath the surface is a good question.
6275820 How is that going to work?
6275976 Magic, obviously.
6275976 Fake twilight actually succeeding in getting real twi, and the two having a bizarre talk about their respected worlds.
6276006 Let's put a twist on HIE and have Twilight come stumbling out of the Everfree in his body.
(S)he just made a paper trail that Spike can use against her in the future.
Pinkie will be HURT when big brother shows up.
6276016 Oh, that would be awesome! I wish I thought of that!
6275910 actually i think rock farms are how Dragons get so many gems to eat
i mean they eat gems spike alone has probably eaten millions of dollars in the stuff and having a entire RACE of them? no. the only way i see that working is if earth ponys found a way to use magic to literally grow gems for dragons to eat
6276037
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo..........
6276060
Or they simply mine them. The caves under Canterlot are a canon example that mining occurs/has occurred.
You also can literally grow crystals. For all we know adding magic makes this occur much faster. However, we have no evidence this is a practical method.
Or you can simply harvest the rocks as they appear on the topsoil. Which would be rock farming.
6275820
That might never happen, would it work into the story or would it 'stretch' the story out of shape?
What about the hydra? Fluttershy is all alone at Froggy Bottom Bog.
I know too, they ........................................rocks
6276118 *Gulp*
I hope the Real Twi is ok wherever she is.
She said she's an only child. Shit.
I really like this character's personality type. Plus the fact that the other characters are displaying realistic reactions to it makes this one of my favorite stories so far. Thumbs up to you sir
6276203 Exactly! It's hydra snack time!
Will Twilight ever meet Twilight?
6276372
6276372 We'll see soon when Shining Armor meets Pinkie Pie!!
yeeeaaah i suddenly want Cadance to help Rainbow Dash with Twilight, i want a little bit more of that Twilight X Rainbow stuff, that was in this fanfiction right?
i still hope she doesn´t go, or at least get´s her own Pony Body, don´t exaxtly want her to be a Human again, just don´t feel like i would need a Human in this story. However i really don´t like those storys, where the Characters have to go back, and are never able to visit their own friends again, already had that in an anime, and that guy even ignored what happened.
That. Was. Beautiful.
I was like On NO! then when I realized which episode this is.
a bit early there aren't you Twiclone
Wait a sec I we would see the party cave early with the whole basement thing.
OH GOD! PINKEMENA!
The backstory.
ALL THIS TIME AND YOU DIDN'T BRUSH UP ON TWILIGHT'S HISTORY!?
Yeah Twiclone we don't get the rock farm thing either.
Oh PINKIE! *rolls eyes* (YOU NEED AN EYE ROLL EMOTE HERE!
Is it wrong for me to have wanted to see Twiclone get WileY Coyoted?
6276622
Chomp Chomp the Hydra
6276037 or we find out he's dead and is given another body so Twily goes back to hers thus he stays in Ponyville with his friends and Celestia gets her student back.
Cupcakes references, Feels, and an excuse to comment on rock farming? What else could ask from a chapter?
Interestingly you can substitute blood for eggs in any baked goods as an alternative binding agent.
Anyways nice chapter
So has Twilight been running around in his body the entire time he's been in hers?
Crack lab? You can produce some real good rocks there...
A rock farm is where they grow the world's freshest new musicians, obviously.
Reading this chapter makes that idea that Twiliclone is an alternate personality of the real Twilight really compelling
Am I the only one here hoping that imposter Twi doesn't get caught? I love the little errors in information too much for him to suddenly break down and confess.
She mentioned liking books... and being lonely and trying to make friends using advice for books...
She is becoming more and more like Twilight Sparkle as time passes.
The thing is, her friends will probably come to the conclusion that she is a compulsory liar if they ever compare notes.
And she is actually expending time with her friends!
Who is next, Rarity?
I liked this chapter it made me feel happy
surely it would not have been difficult for false twi to check some of her past to not get in contradiction
6276672
That's kind of a running joke at my house since my name is almost exactly the same as Will Robinson. I'm Will Rosser.
6276118
She will either stare it down since she just had the cockatrice episode or run away and ask Rainbow Dash for help. Also FH Twi has done things to boost Fluttershy confidence, so I think she will be okay.
so I see everyoone is referring to our protagonist as female...despite him actually being a man? and there's nothing to suggest he's stopped identifying as man. I just find that interesting.
also note I read all of the narration in a male voice.
Guy is lucky that he don't know Pinkamena fanon, otherwise Pinkie Pie speaking in Luna pattern (we, our) would frightened him like nothing before. Also Pinkamena sayed, that she like him and don't want to loose him. Anybody who hurt our Twilight must pray, that Pinkie Pie don't forget about her medicines, or she may try some Twilight cooking suggestions.
Edit: My mistake Pinkie We was about Mane 5 . My reading with understanding suck.
Never, huh? We'll see about that...
*gets out torture utensils*
6275845
Don't worry, I'll get it out of him...
6276112
Precious stones take ages to form; that would be unsustainable even for a handful of dragons and if you remember the great dragon migration episode there clearly are.a lot more than a handful.
6278096
I said that using magic to accelerate the growing process might be possible, but we have never been shown evidence this exists. Thus while it could be possible, we have no reason to believe it is.
Rocks appearing on the surface due to erosion/uplift/particle diffusion, while not expressly shown in the show AFAIK, should still happen due to wind and water still existing, uplift could actually be debated but is still likely, and gravity still existing. Thus we have no reason to believe that rocks won't rise to the surface like they do on earth.
Now how the amount of gems required for dragons is supplied could be through a variety of ways. Gems have to come from either an artificial or a natural source. While being able to artificially create gems would explain how they are able to produce the gems dragons require, we again have no evidence that this is done or even possible. Natural gems must be either collected or mined. The mines beneath Canterlot and Rarity herself point towards mining being the source. Collecting or farming the rocks off the surface is vastly inferior in yield to shaft mining we know is also used, but might be seen as more environmentally friendly (believable from what we've seen in the show).
Either way, Equestria can either accelerate the growth of crystals (or do it artificially) and/or has a much much larger reserve of crystals and a consequently massive mining industry.
Another enjoyable chapter. Good work.
6278218
Spike alone eats handfuls at a time. An adult could probably eat kilos! Even with Equestria’s (frankly ludicrous) supply of gemstones… a few thousand dragons can consume a staggering 1.095 kilotons per year. No reserve, no matter how large, is going to survive that rate of depletion while still being so easy to obtain that you can find them by the cartful just outside of town. Ergo, precious gems are not produced at a natural pace — it’s sped up by alternate laws of physics, magic, or pony intervention.
How the hell all of this plays out with the depleted¹ crystal mine under Canterlot is a mystery, and by “mystery” I mean it’s just another oversight by the show’s writers.
¹ Don’t say it isn’t; if it weren’t depleted it wouldn’t be abandoned and it can’t be unstable unless Celestia is supremely irresponsible.
6276699 I never said anything about pairing Twiliclone and Rainbow.
6279144
I agree it's ludicrous, but we haven't been shown anything to refute mining and have been shown several things to support it.
This chapter made me sad in the good way.