Ration of Fashion Passion
The front door slammed shut. The time was perfect for Spike to begin his investigation.
"Twilight's" odd behavior was glaringly obvious now. The whole time at breakfast, she kept offering to cook some strange food items. Bacon? Ha! As if there was any such thing! It was probably some kind of monster snack. Busted, imposter!
Now that the imposter left to spend some quality time with her "friends", that left Spike on his own to look around for clues. As the real Twilight taught him, you must gather evidence before you can prove something. Spike knew Twilight was missing; he just needed to prove it.
He began his search in the most likely place to find evidence: the bedroom. The imposter didn't leave anything out in the library's main floor that he knew of, which left the bedroom as the better alternative. Spike scanned his eyes over the bedroom. Twilight's bed wasn't made. This should have been one of Spike's first clues that Twilight was fake. That bed hasn't been made one single time since arriving in Ponyville. The real Twilight would never leave something so messy; unless she was stressed out over something. This Twilight never seemed to stress over anything, so that explanation was insufficient.
Spike would've loved to use this as proof, but he knew circumstantial evidence when he saw it. Twilight always told him that circumstantial evidence was useless at proving something.
Now that he thought about it, Twilight taught him a lot of "useless" things that were coming in handy today.
Spike skipped past the beds and went straight for the desk. It was bare, with the exception of a few spell books on top. Nothing about them was too strange, except for the possible fact that they were about transmutations. Didn't this Twilight clone say that her specialization was transmutations? That was obviously wrong. The real Twilight was gifted in enchantment. Strike two, buddy.
While that information on specialties was noteworthy, the books themselves weren't the kind of proof he needed. He rummaged through the shelves on the desk. It didn't take him long to find something interesting, as the desk didn't store any massive amounts of notes that one would expect. There was only one conspicuous paper in the top shelf with a list of spells.
Sleep (enchantment)
Energy Bolt (evocation)
Ignite (evocation)
Lock (abjuration)
Least Object Calling (conjuration)
Flight (transmutation)
Enlarge Object (transmutation)
Shrink Object (Note: Very Important!)
Modify Color (transmutation)
Locate Gems (divination)
Spike thought back to the day before the Young Fliers Competition, remembering that Twilight first learned the Flight spell at that time. Come to think of it, Twilight had been learning the last four spells on the list for the past two days. Could this be a list of all the new spells Twilight was learning, or the list of all the spells that the imposter knew? Spike would have to keep this document in mind.
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How do I get myself into these situations?
Rarity told me to meet her at this particular address so we could "spend some time together". She never told me where the address would lead me, but once I got there, I think I knew why that was.
It was the spa. Goddammit, Rarity.
Well, I couldn't just leave now that I was here, right? Besides, I told her that I'd come, so I might as well stay. I went inside, entering into the waiting room. Behind the counter on the far side of the room was who I assumed to be a staff member, and sitting on a little sofa was a pony I was not expecting to see: Fluttershy.
The ringing of the door bell got her attention as I entered, and she looked up from the magazine she was reading. "Oh, hello Twilight. Are you here for a spa day, too?"
"Apparently." I grumbled in response. I didn't see Rarity anywhere, so I sat across from Fluttershy. "I didn't take you for the spa type."
"Rarity talked me into it one day. I've been going to the spa with her every week since then."
Lovely. So Rarity was trying to get me into going to the spa every week, too? This trip was going to be a disaster. Keeping me from moping, Fluttershy spoke up with another question. "Are you going to be joining us?"
"I guess, since Rarity wanted me to come with her. So the three of us will all be together?"
Fluttershy nodded. "I'm sure you'll love it."
Right. The entrance bell chimed again, this time by a hurried Rarity. She skid to a halt right beside Fluttershy. I was more distracted by the feathery green hat she wore than by how rushed she was. Believe me, it was an awful hat. "I'm so sorry for my tardiness." She said. She looked at me and smiled. "Ah, I see you decided to come."
I narrowed my eyes at her. "You tricked me into coming here." I accused.
"A lady does not deceive with mere trickery." She denied in a haughty tone.
"Call it what you will, but you still brought me here. I've even told you why I don't like this girly stuff. Remember? At the sleepover?"
Rarity adopted a smug look. "You told me to treat you like any of my friends, and I like to treat my friends to an evening at the spa."
I silently fumed at her rebuttal, but I couldn't exactly argue with that. "...You're lucky that you are one of the five people who can talk me into these things."
"I'm sure you'll love it." She replied, turning to the pony behind the counter. "The usual, plus one!"
The mare gasped in excitement and scampered to the back. While I was worried about what the "usual" was and how it could audibly excite someone, my worry was interrupted by the pony returning with three fuzzy white robes and a pink towel. She handed one off to me, and I just stared uncertainly at it.
"You're supposed to put it on." Rarity helpfully told me.
"Yeah, I kinda figured as much." I blandly retorted. With a small twist in my facial features, I gingerly put on the robe. I had to admit, it was a very comfortable robe. If I could ever find one that didn't have pink on it, I'd likely wear one at home. Not that I'd say that to Rarity; I was still dead set on hating the spa.
The spa pony led us to a wooden room, and closed the door behind us. Rarity and Fluttershy sat on the room's benches, so I followed them. I wondered what this room could be for, before the room's temperature went up. Steam filled the room, which I found worrying, but it didn't seem to bother anyone else. I kept my mouth shut on the matter, though I glowered at the steam.
"You would not believe what happened to me on my way here." Rarity said. Good, something to distract me from getting steamed like a vegetable.
"What happened? Nothing bad, I hope." Fluttershy asked.
"On the contrary. Who should stop me on my way here, other than the famed Photo Finish?"
Photo Finish was a name, right? It was hard to tell for me at times. I swear I met a pony named Sunset Eclipse, and I didn't know what to think of it. Fluttershy asked for clarification before I could.
"Photo Finish is the most famous fashion photographer in all of Equestria. It turns out that she was greatly impressed by my work on Sapphire Shores' outfits, so she came to see me!" Rarity squeed. "And she especially loved my hat!"
My God, there are ponies who are into that kind of craptastic headwear? I sure hope I never meet this "Photo Finish". I made sure to keep this sentiment to myself, instead complimenting Rarity's good fortune. "Nice. I'm sure this will set you up for quite a while."
"Indeed, it shall. But I'll need a model." Rarity eyed me questioningly.
"Oh, hell no. You're not tricking me into modelling. It's bad enough you brought me here."
"Aren't you enjoying the sauna?" She asked.
Well, now that she mentioned it, I realized I was sweating my theoretical balls off. "It's too hot in here."
Rarity deadpanned. "It's a sauna. It's supposed to be hot."
"Yeah, and I don't like it."
Rarity sighed. "Fine, I won't force you into modelling. Besides, I need somepony with the utmost beauty and grace. No offense to you, darling, but you have too much in common with Rainbow Dash or Applejack to make for a good model."
"And thank God for that."
"I need somepony with elegance and poise." She turned to Fluttershy. "Like you, Fluttershy."
Fluttershy shrunk down a little. "Um... I don't know..."
"Please? I would mean so much to me!" Rarity pleaded.
"I'm flattered, but..."
"Please?"
"But there has to be somepony more qualified..."
"Please?"
"Somepony more comfortable in the spotlight?"
Ugh, this was getting nowhere. I might as well intervene, if it means one less problem to deal with later. "Don't worry about it, Fluttershy. We'll be there to support you the whole time." As long as I'm not the model.
Fluttershy looked between myself and Rarity, visibly gaining confidence from two of her friends. "Okay, I'll do it. For you, Rarity. I won't let either of you down."
I pumped a hoof triumphantly. "'Atta girl!"
Rarity briefly hugged Fluttershy in gratitude. "Thank you so much! You're the best friend a pony could ask for!"
Whew, that was a close one. I wiped some sweat off of my head with relief, but the heat of the sauna made it return just as fast. Or maybe it was just the humidity caking me with moisture. It was hard to tell, really. It's not like I know anything about saunas.
Soon enough, our time in the sauna was over, and it was time for facials. Rarity and I got mud masks covering our faces, with the cucumber slices over our eyes. It was just like at the sleepover, during which I remember not really minding it all that much. It was a lot like wearing a regular mask, only without eyeholes and it makes you feel pretty.
Not that I really like that, or anything.
Rarity and Fluttershy spoke about celebrities and fashion and that kind of thing. Well, it was mostly Rarity doing the talking, as I doubted Fluttershy read any gossip magazines like Rarity did. Strange, it seemed to me like Rarity was spreading the same gossip as at the sleepover, with a few names replaced. I think her gossip mags might run on pre-generated stories. Hell, that's what ESPN does back home.
Next, we were seated onto some kind of chairs I couldn't see (cucumber slices, remember). I heard a slight scraping noise from Rarity that I couldn't rightly identify. At least, not until a spa pony scraped a file onto my horn. I gasped and recoiled away from the sudden sensation. As the scraping from Rarity continued, I figured it was in my best interest to just let it happen. As the file rubbed against my horn, I remembered the last time I rubbed something on my horn. Much like back then, it was slightly euphoric. I decided that I liked this, but that didn't mean I liked being here. Rubbing my horn was one thing, but the spa was another.
Then the massages began. Look, I got a massage before back when I was a human. It was one of the most painfully awkward moments of my life. I wasn't sure if it was because the masseuse was a novice, but I was more stressed leaving than when I was going in. But these ponies. Oh man, their hooves were magic, and I didn't really care about my phrasing at the time. With one little twist of the hoof, I went limp with bliss. I was dead to the world, and I didn't care. Just the way she used her hooves kept my mind locked down with pleasant strokes. It was heavenly.
I'm not sure if the massages made me more accepting of things or not, but the mud baths were next, and I didn't mind those either. I was already so relaxed, that I didn't feel like getting worked up over anything. Not like I would, anyways. The mud bath was just like wallowing in a cozy little pool, just while wrapped up in seaweed. I didn't question it.
Did you know that a pony's hooves are quite sensitive? I discovered that first-hand when I stepped on a tack a while ago. When we soaked our hooves in bubbling water though, it was something of a benefit. I discovered firsthand just how nice it felt, though we had to remain standing for it.
As we left the spa, I had a satisfied grin on my face. When Fluttershy said "What a wonderful way to spend an afternoon", I nodded in agreement.
Rarity smiled at me. "So I take it you enjoyed yourself?"
"Yeah, it was amaz-" I stopped when I realized what I was about to say. Rarity had that smug look again, and I narrowed my eyes. "It was pretty good."
"Mhmm. I told you you would like it."
"...You win this time, Rarity." I growled. I had to admit, she was completely right.
"So, same time next week?"
More than a little flustered and trying to maintain my masculinity with great futility, I reluctantly nodded. My cheeks blushed in embarrassment without my permission. The traitors.
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I wondered if I did anything to alienate Spike. I knew the answer was obvious, but I wanted to know what it was. All through the morning and the previous night, Spike looked awfully angry with me. I asked him about his constant glaring, but he brushed it off by saying that he was looking just past me. I didn't buy it, as he was obviously glaring at me.
So the library was sufficiently uncomfortable. I was glad that I had an excuse to leave that morning, otherwise Spike would stare at me all day. Unfortunately, when I told him that I was going to Rarity's, he insisted on joining me. I wasn't about to argue, but I really wished he would stay behind. He predictably glared at me the whole walk.
Since Fluttershy was modelling Rarity's outfits, she stood up on the Boutique's platform. Rarity was frantically digging around her workspace for accessories or whatever goes with dresses, Spike busied himself with helping Rarity, and I sat there as "moral support".
I couldn't tell you why, but Pinkie decided to come along. She just showed up and bounced around the Boutique, idly humming and casually finding things that Rarity needed. I'd question why she was here, but Pinkie's motivations rarely make sense, so I kept quiet on that regard.
I was less quiet about the outfit Fluttershy was wearing. "Are you sure this stuff is actually popular?" I only asked because I was wary of this purple and pink monstrosity Rarity forced upon Fluttershy. I get the sparkling purple cloth and the fuzzy pink trim, but what was with the pink scales? That just seemed excessive to me, but not as excessive as the feathery pink hat that was somehow more monstrous than Rarity's last feathery cap. The feathers were everywhere. It was less fashion, and more of a silent cry for help, but only for birds.
"Of course this is popular!" Rarity proclaimed. "Photo Finish loved the feathered hat, so there shall be feathers! Ooh, speaking of which, I need more feathers!"
Pinkie merrily trotted over with a basket of feathers, holding them out in her mouth. Rarity levitated a few more of the pink feathers, and arranged them in Fluttershy's hat. Fluttershy winced, as if the feathers poked her in the head. It was hard to tell, since all the other feathers were in the way.
Rarity pondered over the outfit some more. "Hmm. Oh, more sequins!"
Spike brought her the basket of sequins with a lovestruck face that made me roll my eyes. Rarity didn't even pay him any attention, focusing on levitating the sequins onto the outfit. She looked over the outfit, but found it lacking. "And more ribbons!"
Spike hopped onto Fluttershy and placed some bows on Fluttershy's hat. "Wait, less ribbons!" Rarity called. Spike took them off, but Rarity was still unsatisfied. "Wait, no, more ribbons!" Spike replaced them, much to Fluttershy's growing frustration.
I decided to step in, even if I thought my fashion advice would be ignored (for good reason, I suppose). "I think the outfit is gaudy even without the ribbons."
Rarity blinked at my statement, and looked over the dress. "I suppose you're right. It could still use a little work, though. Pincushion!"
Spike hopped off of Fluttershy and raced to Rarity's side. I didn't notice before, but Spike had a multitude of needles in his back. I winced as Rarity levitated a few of them out without even considering Spike, who had to have been in great pain.
While Rarity used the needles to do something, I kept my focus on Spike backpedaling towards me and Pinkie. "Doesn't that hurt?" I asked.
Spike got up to his feet with a confident smile. "Thick scales. I don't feel a thing." His smile turn lovey-dovey. "Besides, even if it did, it would be worth it just for her."
"If it hurts, you could probably just have carried an actual pincushion."
Spike glared at me, though I couldn't tell if this was because of whatever was bothering him before or me ruining his romantic fantasies with logic. He turned to Pinkie. "Hey Pinkie, can I tell you a secret?"
Pinkie gasped, and nodded solemnly. "Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye." She recited with gestures. I didn't get it.
Spike whispered into Pinkie's ear, making extra sure I couldn't hear what the big secret is. Whatever, it's only fair that he has a one considering my big secret. Still, I wondered what he could have whispered that made Pinkie gasp even more loudly than before.
"Don't you worry, Spike! I won't tell a soul!" Pinkie promised.
The door bell chimed to signal someone entering the store. Not that it was necessary, considering the door slammed open. And even if there was no sound at all, our attention still would have been on the showy appearance of a light cyan mare with a white mane styled like a bowl. With her big purple shades and that zebra-like outfit, she commanded all the attention in the room. I almost didn't notice that she had some ponies with her. "I, Photo Finish, have arrived!" She announced in a thick German accent.
Seriously, a German accent. Does Equestria even have Germans? Well, I would have to try finding out. Rarity tried buttering up the famed Photo Finish, but she walked right past Rarity without another word. So I approached her. "Entschuldigen Sie, sprechen Sie Deutsch?" Yeah, I might know a little German.
Photo Finish stared at me for a moment. "Vat is dis mare babbling?"
"Ah, my mistake. I thought you spoke German." I apologized, stepping aside.
Photo Finish shook her head. "Enough distractions! We begin... NOW!"
From out of fucking nowhere, a huge-ass camera was just thrown in front of her. With a bit of last-minute advice from Rarity and a reassuring smile from myself, the Photo Shoot began. Rarity gestured for Fluttershy to make a certain pose, but when Fluttershy mimicked the pose, Photo Finish yelled "No!" Strangely enough, when Fluttershy shrank down into a more submissive posture, Photo Finish voiced her approval and snapped a shot.
It went on like this for a bit. Fluttershy would strike a pose, get shot down, cower, and get a picture taken. After only four pictures, Photo Finish put away the camera. "ENOUGH!" With that, she ran off.
Watching her leave, I tilted my head. "She's done already? She only took four pictures."
Fluttershy lowered her head apologetically. "I'm so sorry, I tried my best."
Rarity sighed. "That's okay, it's not your fault. The headdress is too big and the cape had too much sparkle. I can't believe I ever thought that I could impress her."
Before the depressing atmosphere could get too heavy, Photo Finish slammed back into the room. "It seems that I, Photo Finish, have found the next fashion star here in Ponyville."
Rarity gasped. "Really?"
"Yes, really. And I, Photo Finish, am going to help her to shine all over Eqvestria. Tomorrow a photo shoot in the park. I go!" She ran off again. That seems like a habit of hers.
Rarity giggled with glee. "Did you hear that? I am going to 'shine all over Equestria'!"
"Oh Rarity, I was so worried I'd ruined everything." Fluttershy said with relief.
"Yeah, congratulations on your success!" I applauded.
Rarity smiled wide. "Thank you all for your help! I knew Fluttershy was perfect!" Her smile broadened, and she giggled and hopped in place with excitement.
Pinkie hopped beside her. "Oh my gosh! This is so amazing!" She stopped bouncing with widened eyes. "We should have a party!"
I raised a phantom glass at that proclamation. "I second that notion!"
Pinkie didn't need further prompting. "Woohoo! Party at my place!" She cheered, running off in a blur.
We all chuckled and agreed to prepare for the incoming party. While Spike and I left for the library (Spike going back to his glaring), Fluttershy and Rarity stayed behind to put away that outfit. Hopefully never to be seen again.
I couldn't help but think that something was wrong.
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I stretched awake from another good night's sleep. I hopped off the bed and bounded down the stairs. Spike was cooking something on the stove, and we both nodded our morning greetings. The morning paper was already inside, so I sat down to read it.
Not much in the way of headlines. "Celestia Guzzles Tea At Conference" doesn't exactly inspire much confidence in the day's news, you know? I flipped through the paper for anything of interest, and I certainly found that. Page four had the article about the new "fashion star" that Photo Finish had found in Ponyville. I read through the article knowing most of the details already, but I got stuck on the star's name.
"What the hell? Why is Fluttershy mentioned in the article? Shouldn't it be Rarity?"
Spike walked over in that chef's hat of his, apparently having finished cooking already. "What's this about Rarity?"
I elaborated. "It says here that Photo Finish's new star is Fluttershy!"
Spike gawked. "Fluttershy? What happened to Rarity?"
"Rarity's not even in the article. She's not even listed as an acquaintance to Fluttershy!"
Spike snatched away the paper and scanned the story. "This can't be right. Fluttershy doesn't even like the spotlight!"
I reclined into my chair thoughtfully. "We should have gone to that second photo shoot yesterday. That would've cleared things up."
"Well? Let's go!"
I looked quizzically at Spike. "Go where? Back in time? I don't think that's possible."
"No, to Rarity's! We can just ask her!" Spike yelled.
"Oh right, that would be easier, huh?" Spike glared in response, and I sighed. "All right, let's go."
Forgetting about breakfast, we went over to Carousel Boutique. I knocked on the door, but there was no answer. I knocked again, but there was still only silence.
"You know you can just walk in, right Twilight?" Pinkie asked beside me, pointing out the Open sign.
While Spike jumped with fright, I looked over to my suddenly appearing friend with dullness. "You know, I'm not as surprised about you suddenly popping up as I should be."
Pinkie tilted her head at me. "Why would you be surprised to see me?"
I nodded. "Exactly." I pushed the door open and went inside, the other two following me. "Though I have to ask why you're here in the first place."
"That's easy." Pinkie replied. "I read this morning's paper, and the story it told about Photo Finish didn't sound right to me, so I came here to check up with Rarity." She noticed the incredulous looks we were giving her. "What?"
"You read the paper?" I asked.
"Well, yeah. How else would I know about current events?"
"We just assumed you kind of... knew." Spike answered.
"But that doesn't even make any sense!"
I shook my head in bemusement, but I chose not to voice how frankly incredible it was that Pinkie would consider something nonsensical. Spike wisely made the same decision. We all resumed our previous task of finding Rarity, which wasn't hard when we heard a buzzing and clicking in one of the back rooms of the store. We entered the room to find the seamstress working on a nondescript black cloak. She didn't turn to face us.
"So, how'd it go with Photo Finish?" Pinkie asked.
Rarity sighed dejectedly. "It didn't go. It turns out she was interested in Fluttershy, not me."
I rubbed my chin with a hoof in thought about this. It just didn't make any sense. Photo Finish was looking for a star, and approached Rarity about it. When she took pictures of Fluttershy in that outfit, why wasn't she impressed with Rarity's work on the clothes? Maybe it wasn't that she was looking for a designer. After all, what would a photographer need with a seamstress? Oh lord, it was so obvious! Photo Finish was looking for a model the whole time! Rarity would have had more success if she modeled her own clothing!
I growled and shook away my frustration. "Damn. I'm sorry it didn't work out for you. Are you okay?"
Rarity removed the cloak from the sewing machine and held it up for inspection. "If you don't mind, I'd rather be alone right now." She donned the cloak with the hood over her head.
Uhhh, I take that as a no? Still, I couldn't just force myself to comfort someone who'd rather not have my company. "If you say so. C'mon guys, let's give Rarity her space."
Pinkie and I turned to leave, but I stopped when I noticed Spike going the other way. I levitated him to my side and I glared interrogatively. "What are you doing?"
Spike crossed his arms defensively. "What? You don't think Rarity meant alone alone, do you?"
Pinkie and I both glared at Spike disappointedly. "Spike, just respect her wishes, okay?"
"Fine."
I put him down, and we walked out of Carousel Boutique together. Spike was glaring at me with increased intensity now, but I tried to ignore it. "So, maybe we should talk to Fluttershy?"
"We can't do that." Pinkie rejected. "Fluttershy is up in Canterlot for a photo shoot."
"Geez, another one? What are we possibly going to do about this if we can't see Fluttershy, and Rarity wants to be alone?"
Pinkie thought long and hard about this. "... Get milkshakes?"
Well, that was as good a suggestion as any.
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The next morning, I finished cleaning the dishes after breakfast. Spike went off to do whatever he's been doing in the bedroom lately. I wasn't about to ask him what he was doing, but it couldn't have been too important. I sat down in the living room and picked up the morning paper.
Celestia Found Wearing Lampshade. Fashion Statement or Clever Allegory?
Once again, the headlines weren't very inspiring. I skipped through the mostly uninteresting filler to find anything noteworthy. I didn't find an article this time, but I did find the picture of a familiar face. Why was there a perfume advertisement starring Fluttershy? Didn't she just become a model yesterday?
I shook it off and finished my paper. I was going out for a run, so I left a note for Spike and left. I was about to pass by Applejack's apple stand on my way to Whitetail Woods, but I stopped to stare at the advertisement with Fluttershy on it, smiling with a basket of apples.
My curiosity getting the better of me, I approached Applejack. "What's with the Fluttershy ad?"
"Oh, howdy Twi." She greeted. "Yeah, Fluttershy became real famous alla' sudden. So ah decided to get a celebrity endorsement!"
"What? How did Fluttershy become an overnight celebrity?"
Applejack shrugged. "I dunno. I don't understand them High Society Types. Still, it's good fer business."
I nodded acceptance of the response, but was still disappointed by the lack of answers. I looked up and did a double take upon seeing Rainbow Dash pulling a banner ad across the sky, this time of Fluttershy drinking carrot juice. "A flying banner ad!?" I yelled with incredulity. It was the only flying banner ad I've ever seen, and it just so happened to star Fluttershy.
I cut my gaping short with a shake of my head. I briskly walked away, just attributing Fluttershy's recent fame on being a local thing. That was all it was. There was no way that Fluttershy was famous all across Equestria.
I went to pass by a magazine stall, but I stopped to admire what happened to the usually clean space. Magazines were discarded all over the place, and the mare manning the stall was grumbling, picking them up. I sympathsized, so I offered to help and picked up a few magazines.
Guess who was on the cover. That's right, Fluttershy. These weren't even small time magazines, either. I know for a fact that there aren't any big time publishers in Ponyville, and the only printing presses in town were used for newspapers. No, these magazines had to have been made in fucking Canterlot, distrubuted across all of Equestria. Every single magazine cover featured some variation of Fluttershy cowering in front of the camera. Somehow, Fluttershy became on overnight fashion icon.
I looked up to the sky. "How did this happen?" I asked the heavens, as if I expected an answer.
Aside from the curious look from the clerk, I got no response. I was left to just assume an explanation and just roll with it. Fuck it, right? It's not like I'll get an answer that makes any sense anyways. Perhaps Fluttershy was really pretty by pony standards. Alternatively, things could work a lot faster in Equestria than I'm used to. Let's hope it's the former, because I'm not used to dealing with the latter. I'd really like to take things slowly, and a skewed perception of time would ruin that.
Though it would explain why something big happens every week.
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The week passed by with me seeing Fluttershy more each day than I ever have for the past three months. Whether it was on posters, newspaper advertisements, or having her burst into the library to evade rabid fans, I've had a very Fluttershy week.
But that's enough about my friend dropping by all the time without warning. Today was the day that I would be meeting her and Rarity at the spa. I sat alone in the spa waiting room, kicking back and waiting for both of them, who I was sure would have been here by now. I got bored with the waiting, but magazines were the only things there to distract me. I wasn't about to read fashion mags, no matter how many Fluttershys were on the cover.
"Excuse me, miss. Are you waiting for Rarity?" Asked a staff member who I didn't notice approaching.
"Yeah. What's up?"
"Miss Rarity is already inside. You may meet her now, if you wish."
Huh, so Rarity was already here? I guess I got here later than I thought. I thanked the pony, and she led me back into a room with a huge hot tub in it. Rarity was already soaking in the tub with one of those towels wrapped around her head. I slipped into the hot water and relaxed. "Hello Rarity, how have you been?"
Rarity sighed sadly, which I didn't take as a good sign. "Peachy. I take it Fluttershy is too busy with her career to spend any time with us?" I didn't like the sneer she used when she said "career".
I wasn't about to let Fluttershy take that kind of talk, so I came up with an excuse for her. "I doubt she's doing it on purpose. Celebrities usually get tied up with crap they don't want to do."
"I suppose. Now if only that fame were short lived." She seethed.
I raised an eyebrow at the curious bout of ire. "I take it you don't like Fluttershy's popularity?"
Rarity nodded unenthusiastically. "Will you Pinkie Promise to keep this a secret?"
I leaned my head back in consideration of her phrase. "...You mean a Pinkie Swear?"
"No, a Pinkie Promise. It's a special kind of promise."
"Then how is it any different from a normal promise?"
"Breaking a promise is bad, but breaking a Pinkie Promise is the fastest way to lose a friend's trust..."
The bucket of sponges erupted with pink as the Pink Mare of Chaos (or at least her head) shot up out of the bucket, scaring the bejeezus out of me. "FOREVER!" I stared at her, watching as she slowly sunk down into the bucket, and finally disappeared.
"And presumably, I would have to answer to Pinkie Pie?" I asked.
"That's certainly possible. I haven't broken a Pinkie Promise myself." Rarity answered.
I nodded. "Okay. I Pinkie Promise not to tell a soul about how you feel regarding Fluttershy's popularity."
"Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye." She chanted and gestured.
"What the hell was that?"
"It's a Pinkie Promise."
"Do I have to do all of that?"
She nodded the affirmative, and I rolled my eyes. "Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye." I recited, performing the motions. "Alright, so what's the deal?"
Rarity looked down at the water, as if in shame. "I guess I'm just jealous. I should be happy for her, but I can't help but feel that she stole my spotlight." She sighed, and lifted a hoof out of the water to inspect it. "Ugh, my hooves are getting pruney! I'd best get going. Sorry to leave so soon, darling."
I waved nonchalantly at her. "It's okay, I understand. You have a good day."
Rarity climbed out of the hot tub and walked out of the room. Now that I was alone, I reclined as comfortably as I could in the water and relaxed. I let the water melt away my concerns, and I enjoyed the water as best as I possibly could.
At least until a few minutes later, when Fluttershy ran in frantically. "Rarity! I'm so sorry I'm..." Fluttershy stopped when she saw me all alone in the tub. "Oh, I missed her, didn't I?"
I nodded sympathetically. "Yeah, you did. Sorry."
Fluttershy's face contorted into an uncommon rage. "Oh, I'm so frustrated! I could just kick something!" She bucked the bucket of sponges, but her kick hardly even made it tilt. I mean wow, that kick was so pathetic that it retroactively erased three martial arts movies.
"So, did that help any?"
Fluttershy sighed. "No. Can I tell you something?"
"Sure, go ahead."
"Promise not to tell Rarity?"
"Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye."
Fluttershy smirked at the confidence the Pinkie Promise inspired, but she frowned once more. "I hate being a model. All the attention I'm getting is just awful. I'm only modelling because Rarity wants me to."
I arched my eyebrows in surprise when I heard that. I would have told her about how Rarity felt, except I promised not to. That, and I was certain I could see a pair of blue eyes glaring at me from the bucket of sponges, just daring me to break my promise. "So you're only modelling because you feel that you'll let Rarity down if you quit?"
Fluttershy nodded. "She would be devastated if I didn't let my talent 'shine all across Equestria'." I chuckled dismissively at that. "What are you laughing about?"
"Nothing. Hey, by the way, I think you should talk to Rarity about how you feel."
Fluttershy quickly shook her head. "Oh no, I couldn't do that! I couldn't bear to see how disappointed she will be!"
I smirked confidently. "I wouldn't be too sure about that. After all, I'm sure she would understand completely if you told her."
Fluttershy scuffed a hoof on the floor unsurely. "I don't know..."
I sidled over to her and placed a hoof on her shoulder. I could worry about getting her shoulder wet later. "Look, we can go talk to her now. All you have to do is tell her how you feel about modelling. From there, the ball is in her court. Trust me, she will respect whatever decision you make."
Fluttershy nodded, but uncertainty was clear on her face. "Okay, if you say so."
I patted her shoulder reassuringly. "Don't worry, she's your friend. She'll support you no matter what."
Fluttershy stood a little straighter, demonstrating her growing confidence. "Okay. You're right, I should tell her. Thank you, Twilight." Fluttershy walked to the exit, determined to speak her mind.
"Wait, I wanna come with you!" I hopped out of the tub, splashing water all over the floor. I slipped onto my face, allowing Fluttershy to leave the room before I could catch up. I growled at the wet floor, and grabbed a towel to quickly dry off.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
You know, I've always suspected that the ponies of Equestria were inattentive. On occasion, I would notice things to which they would be completely oblivious. Maybe I'd see a subtle twitch in one's facial features that betrays their emotions. Other times I would see a squirrel laughing maniacally while hoisting an acorn in full view of everyone, and I would be the only one who's not shocked to see someone struck by a rogue acorn.
My suspicions have been confirmed, because I joined Fluttershy out of the spa, who wore a disguise. Said disguise was a green bonnet and a wide-rimmed pair of blue sunglasses. Even the merest glance in her direction would be enough to identify her, which is why I was a bit anxious, since I thought she would be mobbed by adoring fans again. Imagine my surprise when nothing of the sort happened. No one paid her any mind, allowing us to waltz on by without harassment.
Thoughts about the possible applications of this observation aside, we entered Carousel Boutique without a problem. Fluttershy removed her "disguise" and Rarity was quick to greet us. "Welcome to Carousel Boutique!" Then she actually opened her eyes to see us. "Oh, hello Twilight. Fluttershy."
Speaking of things I noticed, Rarity couldn't hide that tinge of sadness when she mentioned Fluttershy. I nodded my greeting and lightly prodded Fluttershy to indicate that she should speak. She jumped a little, and lowered her head. I rolled my eyes now that Fluttershy lost all her confidence from before, and so I tried to ease my way into it. "Hello again, Rarity. I managed to bring the Equestria-wide famous model, Fluttershy, to spend some time with us."
Rarity chuckled uneasily. "So you have. So, Fluttershy, how has the modelling been?"
Fluttershy glanced at me, wordlessly asking me if she should go through with it. I nodded reassuringly. She took a deep breath. "Terrible."
The answer shocked Rarity, who visibly recoiled. "'Terrible'? What makes you say that?"
And with that prompting, Fluttershy unloaded. "I hate being a model. I hate being the center of attention all the time. The photo shoots are long and uncomfortable, and I hardly have time to myself anymore. I just want to quit."
Rarity stepped up to Fluttershy and lowered her head sympathetically. "You hate modelling? Then why haven't you quit, yet?"
Fluttershy turned her head slightly away from Rarity, as if to avoid looking her in the eye. "I was afraid you would be mad with me if I didn't 'shine all across Equestria'."
The room was quiet for a brief moment. "Actually, I have a confession as well." Rarity announced. "I was jealous of your modelling career. I didn't want to tell you, because I thought you would consider me to be a bad friend."
Fluttershy gasped. "I would never consider you a bad friend!"
"I know that now." Rarity smiled almost pitifully. "If only we had been more open with each other, then we wouldn't have gone this long being miserable."
Fluttershy smiled back at Rarity. "I promise to never keep a secret like that again."
"Me too." Rarity concurred.
"Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye." They both chanted in unison, which broke down into giggles and grateful hugs.
Ah, problem solved. Indeed, there is a great lesson to be learned here. Airing out their concerns have brought them closer together. The bonds of trust have grown stronger now that they have opened up to each other, and from now on, they shall be even better friends than before. And to think, all of their recent problems were caused by... secrets.
They revealed their secrets to each other, and it brought them closer. They weren't upset in the slightest. No, they were hugging it out! There was no doubt in my mind that they would be more honest with each other now.
Would this work for me? I've been keeping a very big secret from them; it's only right that they should know. After all, Fluttershy and Rarity revealed the truth, and look at how happy they were as a result! Then again, my secret is great deal bigger in magnitude. But it's not like I'm not trying. Could they understand...?
"You know Twilight, just because you don't like girly things doesn't mean you have to act repulsed by a show of affection."
Rarity's voice shook me out of my thoughts, and it was only then that I realized that I was looking off to the side with a look of consideration that could be interpreted as anger. I shook my head in response. "No, it's not that. I'm just... lost in thought."
"Are you okay?" Fluttershy asked.
"Yeah, I'm fine." I walked to the door and held onto the handle. "I hope you don't mind, but I'd better get going. I have a lot to do."
Rarity waved kindly. "Don't let us keep you, darling. Have a wonderful day."
"You too." I said, and I left the building. I walked down the street deep in thought. Was the time right to bring it all to light, or was secrecy really my best bet? That's what I had to consider.
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I'm procrastinating right now by reading this.
i still hope he can stay in Equestria, with Twilights Body, or he get´s his own pony body.
Good chapter, i think new Twilight would have shorten the episode a few minutes right?
I wanted so say that it would be maybe funny to see some Stallions, maybe even just teens, which hit on new Twilight and Rainbow drove them away afterwards. To be honest that was just a thought that depend on the fact, if you should make a slow Rainbow and Twilight romance, as well as how you would write such a scene.
I just hope the story goes as long as possible, you would have 4 seasons so far to use.
Good job, befor i say anything weird i go to bed, i am not that bright that late in the Night.
5569278 I'd only go with that after the truth is revealed. It's shouldn't be too much longer. Spike is already working on it and Human Twilight has been lucky that Celestia hasn't been around much.
Ouch, burn.
5570077
If we're lucky, maybe she took out the karate kid sequels.
When will next update be?
5584260
I believe I can have it up by the end of the week. Maybe around Friday.
5584373
yay!
5585704 what I don't understand is with who?
"Never procrastinate" I'll get on that later.
I dunno if telling world work or not. On one Hoof, only Spike and Celestia ever knew the real Twilight, in the other... it could go really wrong.
Well... this sure is a way to "watch" some episodes without sitting on a couch for longer than 20 minutes. All the better.
5761774 I'm convinced he's just making it worse the more he prolongs it.
Because the more they ask, the more false or 'adjusted' information he has to feed them, and his lies stack up.
That can affect his friends more and more.
The mane 5 may not mind as much, since they never actually met the real Twilight. Perhaps Dash and AJ will get angry the most with him, but it will definitely be a hard blow to their trust in him, not to mention that they might not believe him at first, thinking he's gone crazy or so.
What will be most worry some is Spike's reaction and Celestia's.
And it can only get worse the longer he waits.
Spike is already suspicious of him, if he confronts him about his lies, and he is still not telling him everything,then Spike will just go and write a letter to the princess telling her about it, then she'll come over and possibly use a lie detection spell on him, or ask questions only Twilight should know the answers too.
If he's still denying it then, finding some excuses, and Celestia makes sure she is right, then he is in for some harsh interrogation, if not punishment.
Her student vanished after all, and someone else was taking her place, plus he didn't tell them anything about it for such a long time.
Luna would that be worth an arrest.
Although Celestia might be more benevolent and composed... the reactions can vary here, also depending on the availability of lie detectors.
On one hand, she can be pretty understanding for his situation, and his fears about telling her and the others, he got there on 'accident' anyway, so she may not harshly chew him out, relenting from any kind of punishment, it definitely suits her image.
But on the other hand, as I explained above, he did make himself lawfully guilty of 'identity theft' (<- a real crime), in every sense of the words, plus 'lying to the crown', which can be interpreted as 'high treason'.
Keep in mind, he also faked documents by signing them with Twilight's name, may it be the letters to the princess, or the library's checkbook. "I couldn't tell you, because was afraid" doesn't warrant his behavior and actions.
And the real Twilight Sparkle is still gone, possibly kidnapped, Celestia's most precious student, and Spike's foster mother/sis. Considering their close relation, this is a fatal blow on Celestia's and Spike's mentality. It may evaporate Celestia's composed and understanding attitude.
Since he didn't tell the truth for so long, whether Celestia finds out by others, or he finally tells her himself, that isn't going to help his case much. He still went on with identity theft and lying to the crown for a long span of time, instead of telling them all, including the princess, what was going on, at the very least after Luna's cleansing from the Nightmare.
The more he prolongs it, the heavier his guilt gets, until the point where he most definitely must answer for his crimes, in court, to Celestia. He is already guilty of at least two heavy crimes.
Not to mention, if Celestia cannot use a lie detector spell, she can hardly trust any word he says, since it can all be just a very professional act. If magic depends on the soul, then his aura is definitely different, giving Celestia the wrong impression, should she check on that.
He might as well be a changeling, having spirited away her student, or any kind of other shapeshifter.
Imagine how pissed she'd get on that thought.
Coming out with the truth himself, can at least show he is willing to redeem himself, and cooperate. An inch of goodness, Celestia most definitely will favor and embrace.
But if he doesn't tell her and is 'revealed' instead, his cover all blown, then may the sun show mercy, it won't be anything but pretty.
First fic I have read, where the German sentence was correct!
Seriously, false grammar happens more often than you think.
i suggest that you edit that part with the german launage agin there are a few errors
Kudos and bravo for:
Celestia Found Wearing Lampshade. Fashion Statement or Clever Allegory?
Wittiest line I've read today!
7013517 hornjobs confirm
Parry the Platypus, is that you?
9103989
They made reference to him in different episode, with Pinkie as one
And today's chapter was brought to you by the letter P for procrastination
To imply a steam room/sauna is girly pisses on the entire Finnish ethnicity and especially (somewhat ironically) their soldiers. I love it. I also love how MC is apparently well-read in Earth stuff - it makes this even funnier.
>Bacon? Ha! As if there was any such thing! It was probably some kind of monster snack
Oh, yeah, right. They’re doing secretarial work on the apple ranch. Come on. They’re sausage fattener, why else with anyone employ pigs.
Pig cheese? Pig wool?
Pigs are expensive, pink and annoying, but they are also delicious, which is why we breed so many of them. There might be more polar bears left if more people wanted one for breakfast.
"Where are the pigs daddy?" "In the zoo. More mushroom risotto anyone?" Oh, no, not so caring now, face it. You want the hound of species to extinction, me – I just want to eat some meat.
What do the pony's pets eat?
to be fair, it technically *is* some kind of monster snack
_______________________________________________________________
>A lady does not deceive with mere trickery." She denied in a haughty tone.
the proper term is ILLUSION. tricks are something a whore does for money...[looks at equestria] ...or...candy?
edit: and then we get to the horn polishing happy ending, apparently this is a full service spa, trick was the right word.
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is a zebraprint blouse themlp version of blackface?