//------------------------------//
// Someone Else's Family 
// Story: My Twilight Facade 
// by axelsempai 
//------------------------------//

The train rattled along the tracks at its typical high speed, barreling through the wilderness with very few ponies in tow.  There were only a few who needed to take this route, as there were many others that were far more convenient to reach the more traveled destinations.  If it weren't for those few exceptions and the staff, the train ride would have been eerie and lonesome.

Not that such an atmosphere would have affected me overly much.  Pinkie and I easily snagged a side room that wasn't going to see much use otherwise, and being in the same enclosed space as her was a nice diversion from the empty cars.

I sat across from Pinkie, merely watching bemused at her antics.  She had her face up near the window, looking down the train's path like a dog on a car ride.  I couldn't quite explain why, but I found this to be endlessly amusing to see.

Things were like this for the past couple of hours.  I've noticed a pattern that emerged during all that time:  first, I would chuckle and shake my head at Pinkie's behavior, just admiring the silliness and appreciating what I was seeing.  Then came the second part of the cycle, where my wandering, appreciative eyes trailed along her form to eventually reach her rear end, where she wagged her tail happily.

I then turned my gaze away when I lingered too long.  It was to my own embarrassed admission that I came to appreciate the... finer points of pony anatomy.  It was great, really.  As if my life wasn't hard enough, I now felt sexual attraction to the other ponies, and I couldn't act upon it while I was still with borrowed virginity.

Then, in an effort not to think about the implications of my wandering, perverted eyes, I thought back to how Pinkie behaved a few hours ago.

I found it odd that Pinkie would just drop her anger at me that quickly.  What was it exactly that made her forgive me so easily?  Was it something I said?  Why would that matter?  She caught me in a persistent lie, so she would have been well within her rights to badger me with questions.  She didn't, though.  She just forgave me out of nowhere, presumably because she cared.  Why?  Just because we were friends didn't give me a free pass to abuse her trust like I did.  Well, was currently doing.  She didn't seem to care about that.

And that hug.  I've always liked Pinkie's hugs, but that one felt more emotional than all the others combined.  It felt more welcome.  Needed.  It was like she dispelled a burgeoning coldness spreading through my chest.

All that line of thinking did for me was to confuse me further.  It felt like my emotions were all out of whack when I reached that point, and I only felt more helpless than ever.

But when I looked back to Pinkie Pie, still staring out the window, I relaxed and chuckled at Pinkie's behavior again.  Her smile just put me at ease.

I had to stop this.  If only to prevent my brain from oozing out of my skull, a change was needed.  "So Pinkie, what's your sister like?"

My words brought her out of her canine activity, where she plopped down in her chair with her smile hardly changing a bit.  "She's the greatest older sister in the history of older sisters!  You'd love her!  She's the sweetest, most thoughtful, most expressive pony in all of Equestria!"

"She sounds nice.  I can't wait to meet her."

"It's not just her!"  Pinkie gazed lovingly into the air, mentally picturing the rest of her family.  "There's my sisters Limestone and Marble Pie, who are just the most lovable ponies I know!  There's my mom, who makes the best soup ever, and I can't forget my dad!  He's so supportive!"

"Huh.  It sounds like we're about to see your family."  I noted.

Pinkie nodded.  "Mhm.  They all live on the family rock farm."

"Ah yes, the rock farm."  I still couldn't believe such a thing existed.  "So is this an Apple Family kind of deal, or what's going on?"

"Oh, we've had that grey old farm for generations.  It belongs to my parents, who got it from their parents,  who got it from their parents, who got it from their parents..."

She dragged on for, like, twenty-three generations before she finally reached the end of her spiel.

"...Who got it from their best friend's cousin!  So yeah, we have a lot of history!"

"Er, fascinating."

"Not really!"  She cheered.

I nodded along, at least somewhat glad that she agreed.

A few moments later, a puff of green fire swirled before me, condensing into a scroll that fell to the floor.  "Hey, looks like Spike sent me a letter."  I levitated it up to me and opened it.

"What's it say?"  Pinkie asked, hopping into the seat next to me, leaning against me with her head propped on my shoulder.

I didn't say anything, but I held it up for both of us to read.



Twilight,

We just got back from hanging out with the others.  They're kind of disappointed that you and Pinkie ran off like you did, but they're fine with it.  Especially since I mentioned Pinkie foalnapped you.

I'm more concerned about Shining Armor, though.  He's spent the whole time since you left asking weird questions.  Cadance is trying to get him to have some fun, but he's more interested in hearing more about how you've been acting lately.

When you get back, be careful.

By the way, when are you coming back?

-Spike



"Aw, sounds like somepony cares about you!"  Pinkie cooed, nuzzling closer into me.

Yeah, wasn't that great.

We rode the train for a few minutes longer before we made our stop in Rockville.  Yes, as creative as the name "Ponyville" was, I think they topped themselves with this one.  Every building in town looked like a rejected background piece from the Flintstones, with rocks and stones being the chief building material used here.  Even the signs were just slabs of rocks with images carved out of them.

The place was real quiet, too.  The ponies marching around town barely looked in our direction.  They weren't smiling or really chatting, or anything.  Hell, all the colors here were muted, and it wasn't the late hour that did it.  This place was freakin' dismal.  No wonder why a pony as cheerful as Pinkie moved away.

Pinkie hopped along cheerfully despite the depressing atmosphere, leading me to the opposite side of town.  It only got more depressing when the landscape somehow became more barren.  Rocks spanned the horizon in heaps beyond comprehension.  Only dead trees broke the monotony of rocks and barren earth, and that was no consolation whatsoever.

My companion didn't seem to mind.  If anything, she was only getting more excited, each hop marked with a tremble at the apex.  In my mind, I figured we would find an oasis or something, some kind of lush paradise with vivid greens and bright rainbows shining over waterfalls.  There could be no other explanation of why Pinkie was so excited for our destination.

Pinkie suddenly stopped in front of me, spinning her head about like a periscope.  Suddenly, she locked onto a figure to the side of our path and crouched low.  She crept behind a pile of rocks and spied her quarry facing away from us.  Naturally, I did no such thing, merely following her out in the open.

We stopped around twenty feet away.  A dark grey mare was idly stacking rocks like all the others, not aware of the two behind her.  I glanced at Pinkie to see what she was doing, and I figured I knew what.

Pinkie wiggled her rump in the air, and pounced with a great horizontal leap that nopony else could match.  "Surprise!"

She landed right on top of the poor pony, startling her and smooshing her prone.  "Agh!  Dang it, Pinkie!"

"Surprise!  I came back!"

"I know!"  She shot back.

I kept my distance from this.  The other pony seemed pretty angry, and I didn't wanna get caught up in it.  So I hung back and watched as things continued.

Pinkie got off the other mare and scooped her up for a big hug.  "Oh, it's so good to see you again!"

The other pony laughed, seemingly dropping her anger.  "Okay okay, it's good to see you, too."  Pinkie set her back down, so she could turn and face her sister properly.  "It's been too long."

"I know, right?  And I didn't come alone!"  Pinkie zoomed right next to me, startling me, and zoomed right back to her sister with me in tow.  "This here is Twilight Sparkle, and she's best pony!"

"That's uh... debatable."  I said.

"Hee hee!  So modest!"  Finishing her giggles, Pinkie hopped next to her sister and wrapped a foreleg around her.  "And this is Limestone Pie!  She's the oldest of my sisters, and she's great with logistics!"

"Cool."  I held out a hoof to shake.  "It's good to meet you, Limestone."

Limestone was not nearly as pleased to meet me as I was of her.  She glared hard into me, narrowing her eyes dangerously and said, "Don't touch Holder's Boulder."

"Oh, uh... ah."  My head craned around to look for whatever boulder she was talking about.  "Which one's that?"

"The big one."  She replied testily.

I found the big one in the distance.  Was there a story on why is looked like an egg?  "Somehow, I think I can manage that."

"Good, so leave it alone!"

I returned her glare bemusedly.  "Fine, I will."

"Then do it!"

"I will, what else do you want from me?"

We held each other's gazes for a short while.  Limestone finally relaxed somewhat and nodded in satisfaction.  "Alright, good talk."

Wait, did we just bond?

Pinkie squealed and pulled us all together for a group hug.  "My sister and my best friend are getting along!"

Limestone growled a bit at the forceful embrace, but I was considerably less upset.  I lightly shook my head in amusement at the whole situation.  Pinkie was certainly enjoying herself, so I guess I was doing alright.

She dropped her loving grip on us, which Limestone took as her opportunity to spring back in anger.  Pinkie didn't notice or possibly care, and hopped off in a direction.  "Come on, Star!  We're going to see my parents!"

I shrugged at Limestone.  "See ya around."

"Yeah."  She replied distantly.

While Limestone got back to stacking rocks for no discernible reason, Pinkie led me away to that lush paradise I figured would be somewhere around here.

It turns out there was no such place around here.  Our destination all this time was a forgettable farmhouse in the middle of nowhere interesting with little more than a silo to mark it as any different than anything else in this depressing town.  It made me wonder how Pinkie could have possibly became the chipper, happy mare she was today when growing up around such dismally stimulating surroundings.  I thought that maybe her parents would be wild party animals like her, since that was all I could think of.

It was time to find out, for we stopped in front of the door.  Pinkie knocked melodically on the door, crafting a glorious composition with only her hooves.  Before Grammy awards could be tossed her way, the pony on the other side rudely interrupted her work by casually opening the door.  The mare beyond the doorway was a perpetually weary and stone-faced ashen mare with her mane tied into an old-fashioned bun.

"Mom!"  Pinkie rushed forward, startling the mare with a sudden hug.

"Pinkie, thou hast returned.  Such a surprise."  She had a ghost of a smile, in that no such thing existed.  Still, the modicum of excitement in her voice could be faintly heard, it just didn't externalize properly.

"Yep!  And I brought a fantastic friend!"  Pinkie stood next to me and elbowed me lightly.  "Say hi!"

"Hey, I'm Twilight Sparkle.  It's nice to meet you..."  I greeted leadingly.

"Cloudy Quartz, wife of Igneous Rock Pie and mother of Maud, Limestone, Pinkamena, and Marble Pie."

I nodded at the greeting.  "That's great.  I-"

Pinkie hopped forward, manically smiling and spinning her tail like a rotary blade.  "I'll go find dad!"

She bounded once, clearing the doorway, and bounded once more to the side and into an adjacent room.  Neither of us said anything about Pinkie's erratic behavior.  I suppose we all were used to it.

"Thou art Pinkamena's friend from Ponyville."  Cloudy clarified.

"That's correct."

She said nothing further.  We both stood there staring at each other in silence.  It was awkward, but neither of us made a move to end it.

Pinkie came back, pushing another pony into my field of view.  This stallion was an earthen brown pony with really long, grey sideburns trailing down past his hat.  I'm not sure what kind of hat you would call it.  Amish hat?  American Gothic hat?  He had a collar, no shirt to go with it, and a boring grey tie down over his chest.

His gaze, a constantly stern glare, bore into me as if a father were assessing a child.  "So thou art the pony Pinkamena brought."

Oh my God, everypony here was some shade of dull.  I meant no offense to the Pie family, but comparing them to Pinkie was like comparing apples and oranges.  I saw no resemblance.  "And I guess you are Pinkie's father?"

"Truly.  I am Igneous Rock Pie,  son of Feldspar Granite Pie."

"I'm Twilight Sparkle, student of Princess Celestia and little else of import."

Pinkie hopped right past us, halting our conversation just long enough to watch her hopping off in a random direction.

"You are the student of our fair princess?"

"Yeah, though it really just boils down to me doing whatever she tells me to and learning some cheesy moral lesson she thinks is important."

"You should be proud of the honor."  Cloudy stated matter-of-factly.

"I guess I am.  I'm really more glad of the fringe benefits, though."

"What kind of benefits hold thine interest?"  Igneous asked curiously.

"Well, I get to meet ponies like your daughter."

He pursed his lips together in consideration.  Cloudy, too, regarded my words carefully.  With the way they were acting, it was as if they had doubts about me.

Doubts that they didn't get to voice before Pinkie pushed another pony to my side.  She dug her hooves into the ground, violet eyes dilated in abject terror for me.  This second grey mare clearly didn't want to meet me, but her wild sister held her in place.

"Say hi, Marble!"  She pushed.

The frightened pony said nothing, but she managed to circle around Pinkie and hide behind her.

"Huh, this seems familiar."  I noted dryly.

"Oh, don't be too upset!  She's not scared of you!"

Another set of tremulous bout of shivers proved her wrong.

"I'll take your word for it.  Regardless, I'm Twilight Sparkle and I won't do anything to hurt you or anyone associated with Pinkie Pie."

"M-mhm."

What was that?  Was Marble trying to say something, or was that it?

"Sounds like progress to me!  Who wants snacks?"  Pinkie jubilantly ignored her.

Were we ignoring Marble now?

"It hast been too long since we've partaken in thy confections."  Was Igneous's bland reply.

Okay, we were ignoring Marble.

"It is nearly time for supper.  Marble, please retrieve thy sister from the fields."  Cloudy ordered, going back inside to finish preparing the meal.

Everypony broke off then.  Marble scampered off into the fields, clearly glad to avoid another moment around me, while Igneous and Pinkie went inside.  I glanced back at the retreating Marble, noting how she broke into a sprint a ways off, and shook my head.  With little else to do, I found myself following Pinkie down a gray, lifeless hallway leading to the dining room.

A large wooden table dominated the room, holding its dominance in the very center.  There were no chairs.  No tablecloth.  No salt.  No pepper.  No assortment of candy or any other kind of decoration.  The rest of the room wasn't quite as barren, but no less dull.  Monochrome pictures of foliage and hills adorned the walls in less than breathtaking beauty, and cabinets sat against the walls for hopefully festive reasons.

Pinkie took her spot at the table, trotting in place before smiling at me.  Only her eyes communicated a message to me, presumably asking me why I wasn't moving to stand at the table with her.  What she didn't understand was that I didn't want to stand during dinner time.

Magic flowed through my horn, lavender energy filling the room with light.  Pinkie could barely voice her fascination with my spellcraft before it flashed, adding tasteful wooden chairs to the room's decor.  Pinkie looked around at the new additions, not quite sure how to react.  She raised an inquisitive brow my way, to which I just shrugged.  I took the seat next to her, and she sat in her chair after a shrug of her own.

The rest of the family piled in themselves, everypony stopping in the doorway to curiously examine the chairs of my creation.  Unused to the presence of chairs in their dining room, they wordlessly asked Pinkie what the deal was with their eyes.  Pinkie shrugged my way.  I gestured invitingly to the table.

They sat hesitantly at the table, watching each other all the while to make sure nopony fell or felt an electric shock, or something.  Marble was especially hesitant, tapping the seat experimentally a few times without moving to sit.  She did eventually, but mostly because the others already did so.

I rolled my eyes at the whole ordeal.  Surely they couldn't be so old fashioned and traditionalist that chairs were objects of fascination.

The whole family, plus one, sat in silence.  I looked around at the room's occupants, expecting conversation or something.  Everypony was still, except for Pinkie bobbing in her chair with a big smile.

"So, uh, what do you all do around here?"  I prodded, trying to fill the silence.

"I run the farm."  Limestone replied curtly.

"I cook and clean."  Cloudy said.

Igneous barely looked at me in response.  "I push the rocks."

Marble whimpered.

I slumped in my chair.  This was impossible.

Pinkie didn't agree with my assessment, however.  "This is great!  The best family in the whole world getting along with the best pony in the whole world!"

I'm not sure I'd say that.  Not that I had the opportunity to, since we heard the front door open.  This prompted an excited gasp from Pinkie, jumping from her chair.  "That's her!"  She rushed out of the room without further explanation.

"Who?"  I asked.

"Maud."

Limestone's answer brought to mind the last sister I had yet to meet.  I couldn't see how Pinkie was related to these ponies, but maybe this last one would be different.  Unlike the others, she would be more like Pinkie; bouncy and excited, rambling and appearing without reason.  She would be full of life and leave me speechless.

Pinkie stepped into view.  "Twilight Sparkle, prepare to meet the greatest older sister who isn't Limestone.  The one, the only Maud Pie!"  She stepped away from the doorway and her final sister stepped forward.

My expectations were completely wrong.  Maud Pie turned out to be another grey mare with a dull expression.  Like, really dull.  Her face was completely impassive.  Everything about her was bland.  Neither her flat purple mane or her dull blue frock was set to impress.

I was stunned by her appearance, but still did my best to make a good impression.  "Uh, hey.  It's nice to meet you."

"Hi."

I smiled and nodded.  Nothing here was as I expected.  Pinkie's entire family was some variation of bland or inconsiderate.  Their home was devoid of color and nothing around here could even charitably be considered fun.  By all reckoning, nothing that left this place should have held more than a passing interest.

But we have Pinkie Pie, defying all the odds.  She left Rockville like a rocket, leaving an unforgettable impact upon the lives of those she meets.  She was a mare of unparalleled vibrancy and joy.  It was as if the entire universe set aside its procedures to let this ray of sunshine through and make the world a happier place.

I caught myself staring at Pinkie Pie all of a sudden.  She noticed, too, and lidded her eyes playfully at me.  I smiled sheepishly and turned back to the rest of the family.

Maud walked to the spot I presume she usually sits at dinner time, so I popped up a chair for her.  She looked at me with that stony gaze that betrayed nothing.  I motioned to the chair, but she didn't budge.  I motioned harder, and still nothing.  In a last bid to get her to move, I waved my hooves over my head and threw them at the chair.  Finally, she elected to take a seat.

Cloudy Quartz set the table with boring food items.  Each pony had a small brown loaf of bread and a bowl of water I could only call a mud puddle with rocks in it.  This wasn't what I would call a meal.  Maybe an especially miserable side dish, but not much of a main course.  And there was a whole big pot of stew on the table, just in case I couldn't get enough liquid misery.

"So, uh, do we eat the rocks, or are they just flavoring?"  I couldn't help but ask.

Everypony, sans Pinkie, looked at me like I was an idiot.

I sighed.  "Never mind."

I took the spoon and scooped up a rock, brown water dripping out and rippling the remaining soup.  This rock wasn't giving me anything to look forward to.  There was no way to tell if it was flavored or anything.  Was it softened?  Is it even edible?  I took a breath to calm and reassure myself, offered a silent prayer, and took a bite.

Absolute fucking agony.  It literally tasted like mud.  Worst of all was the rock, which was just an ordinary rock.  My jaw was somehow able to crunch it apart without my teeth shattering.  Each chew was done with a grimace of pain and disgust.

Everypony watched me eating, oddly.  Their judging gazes unnerved me for the entire bowl, after which I suppressed my urge to vomit.

While I breathed heavier from the experience, Limestone elected to ask me a question.  "So what do you think?"

I evened my breathing and looked directly in her eyes.  "It was the worst thing I've ever had to eat, and my life is infinitely shorter for having done that to myself.  In other words, may I have some more?"

Unfelt tension left the room.  Cloudy Quartz smiled for the first time I've seen and happily refilled my bowl.  Everypony finally joined the meal, eating their nasty soup for themselves.  They didn't seem to mind the taste.

"How didst thou meet our daughter?"  Igneous asked, starting actual mealtime conversation.

Ah yes, my first day in Equestria.  I remembered it well, and very fondly.  "Well, I first arrived in Ponyville for the Summer Sun Celebration.  Pinkie was the first pony I ever met.  I greeted her, and she gasped loudly, running away.  She broke into my house later that day."

Pinkie pouted in protest.  "I was throwing you a party!"

"Yeah, but you broke into my house to do it."

She waved a hoof dismissively.  "Aw, it's not like you were using it, yet."

"And that's why I'm not angry about it."

"Really?"  Pinkie leaned in as to emphasize her point.  "Are you sure it wasn't because of your cute new party-throwing friend?"

"Well... I guess."

Pinkie's family shared looks with each other.  While I wondered why, Pinkie herself smiled at the half-compliment with a squee and shoved her face in the bowl before her.

"Dost thou get along well?"  Cloudy asked.

"Yeah.  I mean, she can be a hoof-full at first, but she's real sweet when you get used to her."

"You got used to her?"  Limestone asked incredulously.

"Yeah, she's not the incomprehensible enigma that ponies think she is.  She's not really any stranger than your average pony."

Pinkie's head shot out of the bowl, screams muffled by a rock too large for her mouth and two smaller rocks plugging up her nostrils.  Reaching around her flailing hooves, I smacked her in the back of the head calmly, popping the rocks out of her face holes.

"Thank you!"  She shoved her face back in the bowl.

Igneous wiped his mouth with a handkerchief or some other such cloth, eying the two of us closely.  "It is good that you get along.  Very well, one might say."

"One would, yeah."

He hummed thoughtfully, but I could only imagine why.

"So..."  I began nervously.  "Maud, I noticed that you were a bit later than everypony else.  Were you in a distant part of the field?"

"I was at school."

"Oh, cool.  What're you learning?"

"Rocks."

My interest died a little early.  "Rocks, huh.  You mean like the rock cycle and stuff?"

Er, I'll have to be honest with you right here.  I'm going to skip over about five minutes of what Maud said.  It was a lot of talk about "strata this"  and "sediment layer that".  It went right over my head.  If you're really interested in rocks, go crack open a geology textbook.

So she concludes.  "- And our next assignment will be about mountain formations, which we learned..."

"Right, tectonic shift, or whatever."  I interrupted.  "Listen, do you like board games?"

She blinked blankly.  "Not really."

"Ah, roleplaying games?"

"No."

Oh come on!  What kind of college student doesn't like roleplaying?  Sorry, she's a "rock college student".  Same difference.  "Card games?"

"No."

"Books?"

"Yes."

A smile crept onto my face at the prospect of progress.  "Cool, what kind of books?"

"Poems."

"You like poetry?  I guess that's pretty neat."

"Mmm."

I frowned instantly.  Could you blame me?  I thought she would elaborate.

Limestone was kind enough to keep the silence last long enough for it to get awkward, so she waved a spoon at me accusingly.  "What about you?  What do you do for a living?"

"I'm a librarian, mostly.  I spend most of my time surrounded by books."

"What do you mean by 'mostly'?"  She pressed.

"I go outside."  I answered by way of deadpan.

"You sound suspicious.  Right, Marble?"

Right next to Limestone, Marble jumped at the attention she got and nodded uncertainly.  She continued to sip at her soup quietly.

We ate in silence for a bit longer.  I lost my appetite by the third bowl, but these other ponies just kept trucking for a few bowls longer.  Finally, Pinkie suggested something that could revive my shriveling stomach.  "Hey, how about we have some muffins?  I know you all love my muffins!"

"Yeah we do!"  I cheered.

"Great!"  She declared without input from the others.  "I'll go make some now!  Besides, I have a Pinkie Feeling that everypony wants to talk to you!"

I watched her hop out of the room, bewildered.  Just like she said, her family crowded around me with hateful glares.  I leaned away from them and pondered what I could have possibly done to anger them this time.

Igneous slammed his hooves on the table.  "State thine intentions with our daughter!"

"What?"

"What have you been doing with her?  I bet something deviant!"  Limestone pressed firmly against my skull.

"I don't know what you ponies are talking about.  The absolute worst thing that happened between us was when she tied me up in her basement."

Cloudy gasped dramatically.  "W-w-what?  So soon?"

"Does she taste like cotton candy?"  Maud asked sedately.  We all faced her oddly.  All she could say to explain was, "She probably tastes like cotton candy."

"What the heck is wrong with you ponies?  You act like there's something going on between me and Pinkie!"

Everypony shared a look.  "Isn't there?"

"No."  I roundly denied.  "We have a perfectly normal friendship.  She makes me laugh, and she likes me for some reason.  That's it."

"Now, when you say she 'likes' you..."  Limestone began.

"Friends."  I answered more harshly.  "You make it sound like we're-"   Now realizing what was happening, I grasped at the sudden ache in my chest.  "Ah, jeez!  How could you think that?  Why would Pinkie ever look at me like that?  Just because Pinkie is a little hyperactive doesn't mean she's fucking crazy!"

"What dost thou..."

I held up a hoof to interrupt Igneous.  "I'm going to stop you right there.  Pinkie is a great mare.  She may be easy enough to amuse, but even she has her standards.  She doesn't think of me that way.  End of discussion."

Pinkie popped her head into the room.  "Hay, is the bestest family ever getting along with the bestest girlfriend ever?"

In sudden contrast to the earlier tone, I smiled and waved like nothing happened.  "We're all good here!"

"Great!  Try not to mope too much out there!"  She disappeared once again.

"See?  She thinks I'm depressing!  There's no way she thinks of me as anything other than a friend."

They looked awkward all of a sudden.  They clearly wanted to say something, but they knew they couldn't refute my logic.  A depressing silence fell over the dining room for the next minute and a half until Pinkie came back with dessert, plopping it all on the table.  "What'd I miss?"

"Not much.  Your family is just crazier than you, is all."

Pinkie giggled.  "Silly Twiley, nopony's crazier than me!"

"Mhm."  I took a bite of the muffin, which was deliciously peanut butter flavored.  "Now this is good food.  You've really outdone yourself."

She smiled warmly at my compliment.  "Thank you."





It was getting late in the night by this point.  The sky was already dark and Luna's moon gently gazed upon the earth below.  Meanwhile, I was losing my fifth consecutive game of checkers against Limestone.  We played the game with rocks as the pieces; grey for her, darker grey for me.  This mare was really kicking my ass.

I hovered my hoof over my last remaining rock, looking for any way I could move forward without losing it.  I could certainly move it to the left and last one turn longer, but it would still get creamed by her king-ed rock, which we drew a crown on.  I was going to lose.  With no other option, I had to forfeit.

My horn lit up in frustration and set all the rocks on fire.

Slightly shocked, Limestone stared at the flames dancing upon the rocks.  "The rocks are on fire."

"I know."

"Rocks shouldn't be flammable."

"I'm well aware."

The rest of the family stared in silent terror, not sure if the flaming rocks would spread to the rest of the floor.  Moments later, the flames died out and they breathed a sigh of relief.

Limestone's smugness was belittled only by my impotent rage.  "You suck at this game, Twilight."

"Screw you, Limerock."

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

"I will fucking grab your face, and peel you like an orange!"

Our bickering didn't go much further, as Cloudy glanced at the clock.  "Oh my, where hast the time flown?  We must sleep for tomorrow morn."

Distracted as I was with my recent defeats, Pinkie was the one to voice my concern.  "So where will Twilight sleep?  Can she sleep in my room?"

Igneous looked between the two of us, likely remembering the conversation we had earlier.  "Hmm, I suppose so."

"Yay!"  Pinkie squeezed me at the triumphant news.  "This will be so great!  Me and the brightest star in the galaxy sleeping in the same room!  I'm so excited!  We can braid each others manes, share spooky stories, snuggle-"

I vaguely caught on that last one.  "Wait, wha-"

"-ooooor... other things."  She waggled her eyebrows at me.

Newly alarmed, Igneous pushed the two of us apart.  "Twilight shall sleep in another room!"

I tried to say my piece.  "What the hell-"

"Oh c'mon!"  Pinkie whined.  "What's the big deal?"

"I was not born last century, young'un!"  Igneous argued.

"But I don't want Twiley to sleep on the couch!"

"She has no choice!"

I still tried to butt in.  "I have plenty of choices, actually."

Pinkie and her dad continued as if I had no input.  "It's not like I'd do anything to her."

"I know better than that, and I will not allow such bestial behavior in this house!"

I interrupted more insistingly, this time.  "You know what?  I'll just sleep outside.  I can summon my own bed and walls, so I don't have to deal with all this."

This killed the argument, but Pinkie was still upset.  "Aw, don't be like that!  You shouldn't have to leave the house because of us!"

"No no, I insist.  I'm used to my own bed, anyway, and I can't just switch to a couch on a whim."

"But why do you have to go outside?"

Limestone scoffed.  "Maybe she needs to shed her skin like a snake because she's really a bug monster."

This irked me.  "You got something to say, Limestone?"

"Bug.  Monster."

I grit my teeth at the insult.  "You know what, I've had enough of your crap!"

"Really?  You seemed into it a few minutes ago."

"Well, I'm pissed off."

She stepped forward in a challenging manner.  "Say it to my face."

I stepped right up to her and shoved my face into hers.  "You piss me off."

We held our ground against each other, neither willing to back off.  Our rage clashed in a deafening haze that silenced our spectators.  We held until one would lose face.

Not changing her expression one bit, Limestone leaned back and tilted her held as if in appraisal.  "My room.  Now."

Before I could ask what she meant, Igneous screamed.  "NO!"  He shoved us apart with great urgency, facing me with some kind of desperation.  "YOU SLEEP OUTSIDE!"

I fell back out of confusion at the sudden turn of events.  My mind caught up eventually, so I stepped back to the front door.  "Alright, goodnight, everypony."

I entered the darkness of the night with the house closed behind me.  I muttered about their insanity and got to work on my temporary room.  Light from my horn illuminated my workspace, lavender energy replacing the cold blackness.  Stone walls erected from the rocky earth.  A solid pane of rock floated to the top of the makeshift walls, and another pulse of energy sealed it all together.  A beam of purple cut out a rectangular opening, and a flash created hinges for a door.

My magic pulled the door open easily enough, so I stepped inside and summoned a small orb of light.  For the next couple of minutes, that orb would hover above like a lamp.  A bigger flash of light brought my bed inside.  I couldn't resist a smile, seeing what my power could accomplish.  It wouldn't be too much longer until much bigger, flashier things would become trivial for me.

The door to my stone cabin opened behind me, granting access to Pinkie Pie coming in to check on me.  "Hay, Twilight."

"Pinkie."  I greeted sedately.

"So how did you like my family?  Pretty cool, huh?"

I shrugged.  "I guess.  Limestone's kind of infuriating, and I don't know what to make of Maud, but I suppose your family is... welcoming.  So why are you out here?"

She grinned slyly.  "My parents think I'm saying good night.  Really, I just couldn't stand thinking you were sleeping alone."

"I don't see why, considering I do it all the time."

"You have Spike to keep you company, and that's usually enough.  He's not here, so it falls on me."  

"Uh, okay.  If you want to sleep in here, I can't really stop you.  Need me to summon an extra bed for you, or can you smuggle something out?"

Pinkie mock shivered at the chill in the air.  "Actually, it's kind of chilly!  How about we share your bed?"

"No, it's alright, I can summon a radiator.  Let me just..."  I lit my horn, bringing to my mind the exact sequences I needed to summon the needed item.

Without warning, Pinkie flicked my horn.  I gasped and held my horn at the sharp pain, the spell lost in my mind.  I stared at her, seeing if she would elaborate on her actions, but she just smiled at me like nothing happened.

I sighed.  "Alright, I guess we're sharing the bed."

"Okie doki loki!"  She hopped right in my bed, shimmying under the covers to find the best spot to sleep with me.  Her smile in my direction beckoned for me, inviting me to share the space.

I hesitated, but only for a moment.  Unless I wanted to sleep in the house after all, I had little choice but to sleep in the same bed as a pony whose ass I earlier stared at.  I resolved myself in the end, and shifted beside her.

We laid in the bed side by side, awkwardly, if you asked me.  My gaze bore into the ceiling as the light faded away, leaving two friends under the covers in the bed of a house that wasn't really a house in the middle of nowhere in the dark.  What could I say about this predicament?  I've never slept with anyone before, and I never thought I would.  I was unprepared for this situation, and it made me feel too nervous to relax.

Pinkie shifted her position and pressed right up into me, hooves wrapped around my barrel and a satisfied sigh leaving her nose.  This did little to ease my nerves.

What was I supposed to do here?  I held a hoof over hers, wondering if I was making the right decision.  My hoof softly pressed into hers, and she made no move against it.  I lifted my other leg to wrap around her, holding the two of us together.  She nuzzled closer with her head in the crook of my neck, so I must have been doing it right.

We held still for a while after that.  A pleasant warmth spread through the covers that chilly night, making me comfortable despite everything.  Even having a pony pressed so firmly against me was welcoming.  It felt nice.  My heavy eyes closed of their own accord, and I easily relaxed into a peaceful rest.





It felt cold in my room.  Light seeped in through the cracks of the door and had an uncomfortable draft, but the most noticeable detail was the thing that was missing.  I turned to look beside me, but nopony was there.  I was alone.

I sat up groggily.  The previous night was the most comfortable I've been in a long time.  It astounded me what the addition of a pony could do.  Despite the frosty air, it was as warm as a rock lying in the sun.  After the day I had before, I couldn't ask for a better way to end it.  I was sorely tempted to thank Pinkie for comforting me, but she seemed to have ditched me.  It's a shame, I wanted to see her once more but now she's...

Fuck, it's cold!  I wrapped myself in the blanket as tight as I could.  Jesus, why does Autumn have to be cold?  Can't it be warm all the time?  Now I didn't want to get up.  I'd have to brave the perilous chill of the great outdoors (or cast a cold resistance ward).

I whined silently.  The day just barely started and I wasn't too happy about it.  But why was I so upset that Pinkie wasn't here?  That goes for a lot of days, but it bothered me most this time.  I wondered why.

Then Pinkie slammed the door open, shocking me from my wistful thinking.  "Wakey wakey, Twiley!"

"P-Pinkie?"

She trotted merrily to my side and ripped me from the bed to squeeze me in a hug that would shatter lesser ponies.  "Good morning, sleepy head!  Our train doesn't arrive until the afternoon, so we still have the whole day to enjoy ourselves!"

Despite being forcefully subjected to the cold, Pinkie's forceful affection kept me warm.  It was an odd feeling, and I couldn't help but wonder why I felt that way.

She dropped me back on the mattress and skipped to the door.  "I'm cooking breakfast, so you'd better hurry up and get some while it's hot!"

She left the door open, light shining in blinding fashion to mark her exit.  But I was focused more on my senses, and particularly why I suddenly felt cold, again.  There was a distinct pattern, I was sure.  I felt warm and comfy when Pinkie was here, then she left and I felt cold because of the morning chill, then Pinkie came by and made me warm again...

I was coming to a conclusion, but I didn't like it.  I refused to acknowledge it, but it kept invading my thoughts like a bothersome fly.  I couldn't avoid it.  I couldn't deny how I felt, what she made me feel.

This only sent the chill deeper down my spine.  I curled up beneath the covers, reluctant to face the day with shivering not born of cold.  I wanted to cry at the injustice of it all.

I had feelings for Pinkie Pie.