Four months later…
"And in the first play in overtime, Tim Tebow snapped the ball and promptly threw it to a wide open Demaryus Thomas. After a nifty stiff-arm of Ike Taylor, Thomas broke away for the touchdown, giving the Denver Broncos the fastest overtime win in NFL history, as well as a playoff spot in against New England the following week.”
"Ooh," says the entire class in awe as they scribble down notes. I don't know why, but football is one of their favorite things for me to lecture on. Maybe it's because it's a sport they've never heard of before, but something about it just really caught their interest. Who'da thunk it?
Last week I lectured on the New England Patriots’ nearly undefeated season while this week, I’ve been lecturing on the Denver Broncos and their highly illogical playoff run in 2011, and Cheerilee has requested that I do a follow-up lecture on the effect football has on American culture. I have to admit, I'm kind of excited about that.
"Okay, any questions?"
About half a dozen hooves shoot up into the air. I scan the room and point at Sweetie Belle. "How did Demaryus Thomas get so wide open? Were they expecting Tebow to do a run play or something?"
"Could be," I respond. "It could also be that some defensive players missed their assignments and Thomas and Tebow exploited that."
I scan the room again and point at Scootaloo. "Can you explain Tebowing again?"
And with that, I launch into a long-winded explanation of Tebowing, which the class absolutely eats up. It's pretty fun for me, too, really. Their unbridled enthusiasm has me wondering if I would have gotten this kind of reception to my lessons back on Earth… probably not.
Cheerilee sure has done a good job with most of these kids.
Eventually the bell rings and the students all make a beeline for the door after handing in a stack of papers containing interpretations of American Pie by Don Mclean based on events that happened in Equestria's history. I'm rather looking forward to reading some of them.
As I collect the papers and put them in my ever so trusty computer bag, Cheerilee walks up to me. "Seems like they liked that lesson."
"I don't know what it is, but they love the idea of football."
Cheerilee chuckles. "I suppose they do." There is a moment of slightly awkward silence as I zip up the pack, until she finds a new train of thought, that is. "So... what did happen with the Broncos? Did they end up beating the New England... what was it, Giants?"
"Patriots," I correct. "The New England Patriots and New York Giants. And no, they were blown out. I think it was 45 to 10, or something in that ballpark."
"Oh, well, that's too bad."
I nod in agreement and sling the bag over my shoulder. "Well, I gotta be off. I'll see you next week then."
I move to walk out the door, but Cheerilee's voice stops me. "TD, one thing before you go," she says.
I turn back. "Yeah?"
Cheerilee sighs. She looks uncomfortable. "Please don't take this the wrong way, but I... I'm worried about you, TD," she begins.
She doesn’t have to elaborate; the news of Celestia and me was news for over a week. Her being unable to return me home was one of the highlights.
I try for a smile, but to me, it comes out as a grimace. "I think I've settled into my new life well enough," I respond in a manner that I hope is reassuring.
From the way Cheerilee shakes her head, it fails. "I don’t mean to impose, but I know how much time you're spending at the library pouring over books. Not that I would think anything of that, usually… but you never let anyone know which ones you're looking at. Twilight says you always cover the book you're really reading with another one, and both she and Spike think you check out decoys along with the volumes you're really after."
I raise my eyebrow at this. "Twilight tells you a lot, then."
Cheerilee sighs again. "You're planning something, aren't you?"
I take a small step back at her very accurate guess. Still, she knows, there's no point in lying. "Yeah."
"Would you mind telling me just what it is you plan to do?"
I shake my head. "Sorry, that's classified information."
Cheerilee frowns at my evasiveness. "You do know it would take Twilight all of about two minutes to figure out what it is you're up to, don’t you? The only reason she doesn't pry is because she respects your privacy too much for that."
"Good, then she'll stay out of it." Cheerilee purses her lips, and I think I even see a slight glare appear in her face, so I back off a bit. "Look, I would tell you if I thought it would be beneficial, but I know how you guys are: if you knew what this is about, then you'd never let me go through with it. I promise that, if it doesn't work, then I'll settle down in Ponyville for good. I just want to make sure that I've exhausted all of my options before then, okay?"
Cheerilee ponders my words in silence. "Is it dangerous, this plan of yours?"
"Probably, but not to you guys. I don't see Ponyville getting burned to the ground for it."
Cheerilee glances out the window to the front of the school, where the foals are getting picked up by their parents. "It won't hurt them, will it?"
I close my eyes and rub my temples. "Cheerilee, you guys are the ones keeping me sane. The lessons I teach here are pretty much all the purpose and reason to keep going that I have. If I didn't have you and these kids, I'd have gone nuts a long time ago.
“I’d never do anything to hurt your or them intentionally if I could help it at all. In fact, I'd do anything to help you."
Starting with the weekly two thousand bits that are “mysteriously” put in the bank account I created by an "unknown royal source”, all of which ends up being anonymously donated to the school. I can take care of myself well enough to not need the Princesses’ table scraps.
I kind of want to walk out, but I imagine my fellow teacher has more to say from the way she’s looking at me. As it turns out, I'm correct. "I don't suppose I can talk you out of whatever it is you're doing," she states.
I shake my head no. "Like I said, if it doesn't work, then I'll settle down here, because I'll know beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is no way back home. It won't hurt anybody if I have my way, but it might be unavoidable. I can promise no physical harm, though."
Cheerilee huffs for the third time. "Very well, then. You are an adult and capable of making your own decisions. If it doesn't hurt anypony, then I don't suppose I have the ground to stop you."
"Thank you," I reply. "Have a good day."
"Same to you," she says without enthusiasm.
With that, I turn around and walk out of the schoolhouse. When I’m outside and the sun hits my face, I let out a breath, waving to a few kids as I head off in the direction of the library.
So, the ponies are getting suspicious. Well, Twilight is anyways, but it’s all the same: if Twilight is suspicious, then she is going to tell other ponies. Heck, she already told Cheerilee, the odds that she hasn't told at least the rest of the mane six is slim to none. Well, if they suspect something, let them try to solve the puzzle. It’s not like they have enough pieces anyway.
Within a minute or so of me knocking on the door of the library, Twilight opens the door. She smiles when she sees me, but with the info I got a bit ago, I can now tell that there is a hint of unease behind that grin. She really has her ears raised, in a proverbial sense.
"Hello, Twilight."
"Hey, TD." She moves aside and I walk into the tree. “How was class today?”
"Pretty good," I shrug. "I taught them about the Denver Broncos today."
"That's a sports team, right?"
"Football, or American football, to be more specific."
Twilight teleports away without warning, but she is right back in a flash with her notebook and quill, already jotting down what I suspect is 'Denver Broncos', if what she is mouthing as the quill moves on the paper is any indication.
I move over to a nearby desk and place four books I had on my satchel down on the desk to return to the library. One is on carpentry, one on ancient minotaur tribes, and the third is about Star Swirl the Bearded. The final book is a recent addition to Twilight's library: a book on the Crystal Empire.
True to Cheerilee's guess, there are only one or two that I really need out of those.
Speaking of her, I know she is right: Twilight isn’t stupid, she’s gonna figure out what I'm up to eventually, and if there is anyone that would go to the lengths of telling even the Princesses if it would stop me, it’s this mare. I might as well keep it a secret as long as I can.
Twilight walks up behind me and uses her magic to place the books in their correct places. As she does it, she gives me a slightly suspicious look. I divert my eyes back over to the numerous bookshelves that make up the place. Pretty much everything I need, I’ve already read, but…
"TD?" she says, derailing my train of thought.
"Yeah?" I ask as I shake myself out of my thoughtful moment.
"Is there something you need?"
I scan the library, trying to figure out what sections I need to browse to at the same time throw Twilight off my trail and move close to the section that concerns me.
Having said that, I'm not terribly sure how much more preparation I'm going to need.
An idea pops into my head, and, with a gigantic grin, I pull out a notebook and write down on it. Twilight sees my behavior and gives a small smirk. “You remembered something else?" she questions.
I nod and put the notebook back in my bag.
"What was it this time?" she prods.
"I just remembered some more of the story for Knights of the Old Republic."
"The… what did you call it, ‘video game’?"
"That's the one!"
Over the past four months, I got it in my head to buy a metric ton of notebooks – or at least 138, which I think is enough –, and whenever I remember something from Earth, be it a movie quote, a song lyric, a historical event or even a memory of mine, I write it down. I spent a whole month and a half writing down every detail of the movies still on my computer, and even collaborated with a local musician to write down pretty much every detail of my music that I could tell.
Twilight would give her left front hoof to get the remaining three on them.
As the notebook goes back in my backpack, I resume staring at the rows of books. I... I can't find anything else relevant to my plan right now. I pull another notebook out, this one with the list of books that I think I'll need to begin my plan. Then, I notice something that I hadn't before: all of the books on all of the subjects I wanted and are available here have all been crossed off.
Okay, then, maybe I'm ready to begin after all.
Slowly, almost ceremonially, I flip the notebook shut and place it back inside my bag. "TD?" says Twilight with a hint of worry. "Are you okay?"
"It’s time." I don’t even notice I’m whispering to myself. “I think I’m ready."
I may not have taken note of what I’m doing, but the same can’t be said for the unicorn next to me. "Time? Time for what?"
A gigantic smile crosses my face. Oh yeah, this feels good. Scary as heck, but good. The knowledge that this just might kill me is intimidating, but I can't pass it up.
"TD?” Twilight insists. “What's going on? What are you thinking?"
"I'm sorry, but I have to go do the thing at the place," I say cryptically. It's an excuse that Rarity uses all the time, and Twilight thinks it’s annoying as heck. Maybe that’s why I grew so fond of it.
"TD, that's not very nice. Can you just tell me what you're up to?"
Gosh, I get tired of telling them no. "No can do, Twilight. I would if I could, but I can't, so I won't.”
Twilight growls in frustration. Then, she slams the library door shut and the locks click into place. "TD, we need to talk."
Not again! "Twilight–"
"TD, just listen."
I'm not gonna get out of this one so easily, am I?
The unicorn looks up at me for a few seconds, doubtlessly trying to figure out what to say. She's been trying to convince me to spill the beans for the entire past month, and since I haven't given even a single clue, I imagine she's trying to change up her tactics so as to not be repetitive. In the end, though, she just sighs and sits down on the floor. "TD, we're worried about you," she opens the dialogue, looking up into my eyes.
"I know. You keep telling me that."
"We mean it, TD. I am worried. Rarity is worried. Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie… even Rainbow Dash is worried about you. Listen, we already know you’re planning something behind Princess Celestia’s back. We’re just concerned that this idea you have… that it’s a dangerous one, you know?"
“You know as much as me that I do plan on staying alive and well, don’t you?” I deadpan. “We’ve been through this already, Twilight.”
"I know," she says very softly. "I just feel that whatever you’re planning will get you hurt regardless of what you want."
"Well what do you want me to do then?" I ask her a little more sharply than I intend to. "I’m not gonna accept this. There are other things I can look up out there, other options to be explored.” I drop a good thirty decibels as I say, “Celestia was a fat load of wasted time already."
"TD, I completely understand that you want to go home,” she says placatingly. “If I was in your position, I don’t think I would wish anything else either. But if it really was impossible, then I'd eventually accept what life had dealt me and move on.” She stands up and moves closer. “Clinging onto a dream that can't happen is just gonna hurt you in the end."
"Look, Twilight, I agree with you. And I Pinkie Promise that this is my last effort and if it doesn't work then I'll just settle down here. But I am not going to roll over like a dog until every last possibility in the world has been explored."
There is a pause in the conversation as a sigh escapes my lips. "Look, I have to be honest with you: what I'm trying may very well get me killed. I hope it doesn't, but it might." Twilight pales, but I hold up a hand before she can object. "But! If things do come to that, then I'll at least be able to meet my fate knowing that I tried.” I look at my feet with my arms crossed. “At least I gosh darn tried my best."
Seconds later, Twilight closes her eyes and shakes her head. "I don't suppose I can stop you," she mutters.
"No. No, you can't."
With that, I show myself to the front door. Before I walk through the archway, I hear a quiet and obviously pained ‘Good luck’.
Way to make me feel bad, Twilight.
Still, as I leave the library, knowing that this is my last week of preparation before I go, a feeling of elation fills me up. The unknown aspect of what I'm about to do is so exceptionally exciting to me, I find myself literally skipping down the street. However, as the townsponies look at the happy human prancing along his way, I realize that I still need to work on being careful with what I say.
Or rather, what I sing. See, the pegasi scheduled a slight drizzle today, and so I'm getting slightly wet. Combine that with how happy I'm feeling, and you get…
"I'm siiiiingin' in the rain,
just siiiingin' in the rain!
What a glorious feelin'
I'm haaaappy again!
I'm laughin' at clouds so dark up above,
the sun's in my heart and I'm ready for love!
Let the stormy clouds chase, everyone from the place!
Come on with the rain I've a smile on my face!
I walk down the lane, with a happy refrain,
Now I'm singin' just singin' in the rain!"
It's supposed to end there – I mean, I certainly don't know any more of the words.
But, as it turns out...
"He's singin' in the rain," sings Rarity, who is passing by me with an umbrella on her back.
"He's singin' in the rain!" sings Pinkie Pie, who has just popped out of a nearby mailbox.
… uh oh. I just started a big musical number, didn't I?
"What a glorious feelin' he's happy again!" Yeah, that last verse was the entire town. Most windows and doors are open, and a good portion of those that were in a position to get close have lined up behind me.
Gosh darn it, TD, you have to be more careful than that.
I stop skipping and singing, but the ponies don’t. They've started up some big song and dance number, perfectly in tune and perfectly choreographed like always. Since no one’s noticed that I stopped contributing to the scene, I skip town fast.
I enter my house after a two minute walk – mind you, without crossing the path of a single pony; I guess the musical attracted all of them – and put my computer bag on the recently repaired table. Grabbing a pencil, I walk up to the calendar and circle a date: April 28th, one week from today. That should give me time to get everything together and still get one last lecture in. I really like those kids.
Not that thinking about how they’ll feel after I’m gone is going to stop me… though it’s the thought that comes by far the closest to doing it.
I put the calendar down and walk back over to the pack. If I'm going to enact my plan, then I should have the papers graded before. Plus, I really want to see what they've come up with.
I am about to begin grading Diamond Tiara's paper when I hear a loud knock on my door. I grit my teeth slightly; if I know ponies, they know I'm in here. With a sigh I cap the pen and open the door.
I yelp when the entire town, headed by Pinkie Pie and Rarity, shows up beyond the doorway, all of them looking expectantly at me with gigantic grins on their faces. "What are you all..." I sputter before it hits me. "Oh, you're here about the song thing.
“Uh... now I'm singin', just singin', in the raaaain."
That last stanza does the trick, and everypony immediately disperses to go back to whatever it was that they were doing. The weird part is, they're all completely silent about it.
Twilight was right: everypony in this town is crazy.
* * * *
One week later
My alarm clock beeps right next to my head. I’m even quicker to slam it down than usual; I don't want anyone possibly watching to know that I'm awake.
Why would anybody be watching? Well, call it a hunch. Not only that, but Pinkie Pie isn't very subtle.
The clock reads 3:43 AM. Good, I’m on time.
I silently get out of bed and put on the clothes I set apart for today, noting that this particular set just happens to be the first one Rarity made for me. Not very good memories from it, but it’s in the past now. Quietly, I stack two gigantic boxes filled up with my notebooks, one on top of the other, and put them next to the door. I have to drop them off before I begin and I want to know where they are.
Next, I grab a large backpack that I had made for me. I feel how heavy it is with everything that I need, but not so heavy that I'll get tired of carrying it too soon. Good. It was a good idea to pack last night; it saved me a few precious minutes already. Finally, I clip a water bottle to the backpack and grab Reginald from where it is leaning on the table. I slide the stick through a strap that I had put on it and tighten it so that it won't slide out.
Let me see: all I need has been packed already, there’s nothing in the fridge that could go bad… Yeah, I am ready.
Wow, this is exciting and scary at the same time. I'm doing it. I'm really, really doing it, at last.
When I open the door, I have to stifle a yelp as I see a large pink tent right at my doorstep. Like I said, Pinkie Pie isn't very subtle. However, the contingency plan of coming out so late at night works like a charm: even Pinkie on sugar can’t stay awake past 3 in the morning, and, due to said sugar, when she crashes, she crashes hard.
I can hear a cute snoring coming from inside – yeah, she’s out like a spent candle.
I grab the two boxes and slowly, taking care of looking left, right, and up for possible insomniac pegasi, I pick up the boxes and, stopping just for the little time it takes to lock the door, I abandon the house.
The only sounds I can hear on the four minute trek to the library are my breathing and my footsteps. When I arrive, I place the boxes down, one on top of the other, next to the door.
Before I leave, I do something. I can only hope it will soften the blow a little.
I straighten back up and adjust the backpack over my shoulder, then I open up a side pocket and take out a flashlight and a compass, as well as a map.
What am I doing? Well, I'm getting out of Equestria. I'm leaving Ponyville behind and, though I am set on fulfilling that Pinkie promise I made Twilight should I fail, I am hopefully not coming back.
There are others out there. Other races, other beings, other chances at me getting home. I am going to travel across the world and see what there is to see, to find even the slimmest of chances of returning to Earth. The odds of success are, admittedly, very, very, low, but it’s as I told Twilight: if I fail, then at least I tried.
Taking Reginald out of the strap once I reach the outskirts of Ponyville, I begin my long journey out of Equestria.
* * * *
A nightly breeze gently rustles the leaves of the tree that makes up Ponyville’s library. A piece of paper squeezed between the boxes at the front door billows along with the leaves, the words written on it flickering in and out of view of a static observer as the sheet moves.
‘Thanks for everything.’