"Good afternoon ladies and gentlebronies. This is BronyWriter here once again with TD to answer your questions."
"And welcome to 1864."
"W... you know what? Never mind. Should we dive right in?"
"I don't have anything better to do so sure."
"That's the spirit!" BronyWriter takes a large stack of envelopes out of his hoodie pocket. "Question number one for today comes from PVT PartyPooper from inside the hidden temple from the hit TV game show, Legends of the Hidden Temple. He asks which student gives you the most trouble."
TD scratches his head slightly as he contemplates the answer.
"You know, of all ponies it's actually Twist that gives me the most trouble and that was only once. Apparently hay is a more common ingredient than I thought. If Pinkie Pie didn't have that freaky Pinkie Sense of hers then I probably wouldn't be here to answer these questions."
"You're welcome. Okay, moving on we have Flutterguy1337 from a FedEx office in Wisconsin. Not that one, the other one. Flutterguy1337 asks, TD, who do you hate more, the princesses or Blueblood?"
"Ooh, that's a tricky one. I wouldn't say that I hate either one of them, it's just that I strongly disliked them. You know, I have kind of come a long way to getting over what Celestia and Luna did to me so I guess I'd have to go with Blueblood. Still, that guy is awfully fun to make an idiot of."
"You can be too. Our next question comes--"
"Wait, what was that?"
"Nothing. Nothing at all. As I was saying, our next question comes to us courtesy of Valkahike of Odin's court in Valhalla. From what the envelope says, Valkahike is the court jester there every Wednesday and Saturday. Valkahike so cleverly asks, CHOCOLATE OR FUDGE?!"
"You don't have to yell."
"SORRY BUT THAT'S HOW VALKAHIKE ASKED THE QUESTION. CHOCOLATE OR FUDGE?!"
"White chocolate, hot fudge. Next question."
"OUR NEXT QUESTION IS FROM--"
"Seriously, did this person ask by yelling too?"
"Oh... sorry, I was on a roll there. At any rate, our next question comes from Blue Spark of the Barzini Compound, New York. Our deepest condolences go out to Blue Spark's family. Blue Spark asks, TD, if you weren't the only person in Equestria, would you feel better? Or would you try to find a way out faster, depending on who it is?"
"Unless it was my family or somebody like that, faster. With my luck it would be Hitler or Stalin or Terrell Owens."
"Huh... something about that seemed tasteless. Okay, we'll go with it, though. Our next question is from jamofthetoe from a Payless Shoe Store in Montana. No not that one, or that one or that one, but the other one. He asks, TD, if you had the power, would you be a villain in this world?"
"Ah an easy one. Yes, yes I would be. I've heard a lot of stories about Discord and if I had his power, that is the kind of villain that I would be. heck, I'd be that kind of villain on Earth if I had that kind of power."
"As I think we all would. Okay, Light Mask of Earth in the 23 1/2 century asked the next question from the future. Light Mask asks if there was ever a situation that led to the humiliation/embarrassment of you and another pony. Well, I think I'll take this one myself. The answer is yes, yes there was and you can read all about it in an upcoming deleted scene."
"Uh..."
"Next we have a question from Nightmare-Moon from, where else, DA MOOOOOOOOOONNNNAAAAAHHHH! Nightmare-Moon asks you if you had to date either Celestia or Luna which would it be and Nightmare Moon asks me if we can see more of you and Luna interacting/will you ever become friends. For my answer, I can only answer that we'll have to see where the story leads."
"As for me... what is it with the TLuna/CelesTa shipping questions? Why would I want to date either one of them. I will say this again. I. Am. Attracted. To. HUMAN. WOMEN!!!"
"Uh, TD, it's just a hypothetical situation. Just be glad there's no fan art of a TLuna/CelesTa shipping pair. For the sake of argument, though, if they were turned into people but with the exact same personalities, then which would you date?"
"*Sigh*. Fine, I'd date Luna because she's far more down-to Earth and interesting. Are you happy?"
"Oh I'm sure that Nightmare-Moon is very happy. The next question is from. TheLocoPony from That Dark Part of your Subconscious that You Don't Even Know Is There. TheLocoPony asks, what is your favorite Equestrian food?"
"As disastrous as my first attempt at eating them was, I have to admit that Pinkie Pie can make a darned good cupcake."
"How stereotypical of you, TD. That aside, more questions are coming. Our next one is from PrinceDolph of Springfield... uh, I don't know which state, PrinceDolph doesn't say. PrinceDolph asks if your Equestrian experience has made you alter your stance on religion or spirituality at all?"
"... wow, that's a deep one. Uh, I'd say no because I still believe that what I believe about that stuff on Earth is true on Earth and that when I get back there it'll be true again. Is it true in Equestria? I don't know, I haven't really asked them that much about it. They do seem to acknowledge a creator but I'm not sure if they believe that it's Fausticorn or not. I'd have to ask them about it."
"Tactfully played, my friend. Okay, the next question comes to us from Uberpwnage50 of Diggilo, Cotornet, a planet far beyond known space. He asks what happened at the spa. I think I need to take that one too and say that I will answer that in a deleted scene."
"These deleted scenes make me worry."
"But they shouldn't. Okay, our next one is from lamphobic of inside The Great Lamp Warehouse in Boise, New Yarkeie. He asks if you would ever forgive Luna if she apologized and if you could ever be friends."
"Well I wouldn't join the NLR if that's what you're wondering. I do know that people get mad if you insult their precious Woona so that's something. That aside, she did apologize if you recall correctly and I wasn't too keen in the idea of forgiving her. Lately, though, I've been working on letting it go."
"That's admirable if I do say so myself. Okay, next goes to General Darth from the deck of the Starship Enterprise. Darth asks if who is your least hated pony."
"LIke I already said, the CMC probably fall under that."
"That's right. Okay, next we have HeimoBauss of 'the space between spaces and the time between time' who is asking you to elaborate on what you told the D.O.R.K.S. Once again I must answer this in that I am announcing a sequel for that chapter based on wildly popular demand. I hope you like what we have to come up with. So, that brings us to our next question for you, TD, from BLTmunch of Paris, England who asks you what would be your choice occupation if you weren't a teacher."
"Well, I have always kind of wanted to be a famous film critic. I did minor in film in college and I think that would be a really fun job."
"It could be, I suppose. You could take up the new mantle of the Nostalgia Critic (rest in peace) and be funny like he was!"
"Well I don't know if I--"
"Our next question comes from Blue Spark again. This one, uniquely so, is for me. He is asking me what the inspiration was for this story of yours. Well, to that I answer that I was sitting in jury duty, having received my summons a few months prior, and I was waiting for them to actually tell us if we were going to sit on a jury or not (we didn't end up sitting on a jury because, long story short, the government doesn't always work right) and I was passing the time away just thinking about my stories. I think I had finished The Secret Life of Rarity, which is still my favorite story of mine, by that point and I was thinking about another big project. It was months ago so I don't completely remember what caused it, but I remember thinking up the idea for a HiE story and wanting the human to be a really sarcastic guy that the ponies wouldn't know what to think of. The very first line that I thought up in my head was, as I'm sure you can imagine, "I walked up to Celestia and punched her in the face". Coming up with that line sold it for me and I just had to write the story. I did not expect the huge positive reaction that it got and I'm very thankful for it. Does that answer your question?"
"I'm sure it does. Next one."
"Okay, only a few more to go. The next one is from Flutterguy1337 again. Flutterguy1337 asks, are you a spy? "
TD contemplates the question for a second before muttering something in a strangely French accent. Before BronyWriter can react, TD pulls out a butterfly knife and bolts to the door. Sadly for him, the door opens and Francois the velociraptor butler bursts through wearing a red fireproof suit and holding a flamethrower. TD squeaks in terror and sits back down on the chair.
"You 'ave won zis round, Francois, but I will ultimately be victorious!""
"...what just happened? Eh, I guess it doesn't matter. Anyway, the next question is from ResidentZeldaBau5z again. He asks "if you could drink condensed and concentrated Rule 63 dimension essence that would turn you into a girl, would you? Also, side question- would you rather be half timelord or be a descendant of the First Link?""
"Number one, absolutely not. I like being a boy. I couldn't do all of that pregnancy stuff and there's too many hormones with girls. Testosterone FTW!"
"Er..."
"For the second one, I'd be half-timelord so I could find a Tardis and freaking go home."
"Of course you would. It all comes down to that for you, doesn't it?"
"Don't look at me, I'm just the character. You're the actual author."
"Well, yes. Anyway, our final question is from metalhead623 from haven City. You know, I think he's lying about that. Anyway, he asks what kind of things you've seen on your journey so far."
"To which we both respond, check out the sequel which will be here whenever his freaking pre-readers get the first two chapters back to him."
"Indeed that is true. Well, that's all the questions we have for today. Coming up next are some more deleted scenes and hopefully the sequel gets here soon. I can't promise that because I can't control my pre-readers. Also check out my upcoming Chengar Qordath approved addition to the Winningverse: The Attempts at Winning by an Animal Caretaker. It should be out decently soon. Until then, goodnight and have a merry Christmas!"
"Isn't it more PC to say 'Happy Holidays?"
"You know as much as I do how much I hate being PC."
"Well, who can argue with that?"