"AAAAAAAAAAGH!"
That sums it up pretty well. I could bore you with a bunch of details--how I try to use my wings but fail because I can't tell which way is up, how I might die in two bodies in the same day and who knows if I'll get a third, how I wish I could’ve said goodbye to Beth, and how there's nothing more terrifying than falling from an unknown height in the dark. But the "AAAAAAAAAAGH" is way more effective.
Something hard slams into me. I gasp, thinking it's the ground, but wait--I'm still alive and I feel air rushing past me, just from a different direction. Something is holding me, something warm, and strong.
"Easy there, filly!" a scratchy female voice yells in my ear. "I gotcha."
What did she just call me? Well, whatever. She saved my life so I'll let it slide.
"Are you an angel?" I yell, barely able to hear my own voice as the air whistles past us. She's flying even faster than I was falling earlier!
"Angel? What the heck is that?" she laughs. "Never mind. Let's get back to Cloudsdale where someone can help you find your parents. I'm on duty here, ya know."
Shit. Parents? My mother died years ago and my father lives in Circle Pines. I'm not sure what to say so I just stay quiet. It's actually not a bad feeling, flying through the sky like this...but it's hard to enjoy myself when I don't even know what I am.
I once was found, but now am lost; could see, but now I'm blind.
Some heaven this is.
Pretty soon the flight ends and the non-angel sets me back on another cloud. I hear voices, lots of them in the distance; sounds of people chatting, working, going about their lives. The closer we get to them, the lonelier I feel.
"Okay, kid, just follow me," the non-angel says, and I hear her walking away. That scares me. Whoever this girl is, she's the only one I know in this place and I can't tell where she's going.
"Wait!" I cry out, and for a moment I sound exactly like the little kid I supposedly am. "I can't see you!"
She stops walking. “Come on, I’m standing right here, kid! I've got a rainbow mane, for crying out loud..."
"I'm blind, you jackass!"
"...Oh." She sounds embarrassed. "My bad. Yeah, your eyes do look kinda...funny. Sorry about that. And I'm not a jackass. I'm a pony just like you."
"A...a pony?"
"Yeah. You sure you're all right, kid?"
That's impossible. That's crazy. That...explains a lot.
I clear my throat and try not to sound as confused as I really am. "Um…so is everyone here a pony?"
"Yep. Well, mostly. A few griffons visit here sometimes, but...I don't hang out with them anymore," she quickly changes the subject. "Anyway, if you couldn't tell from the 'most awesome flyer in Equestria' part, I'm Rainbow Dash!"
Rainbow Dash? What kind of a name is that? Damn hippies. Where are we, California? No...she said Cloudsdale. This is no heaven, and it's not the United States either. It’s a totally different world with cities in the sky, no people, and possibly no beer.
It's finally sinking in. I feel like I've been punched in the gut.
"Um...hello?" the "pony" called Rainbow says. "Are you okay? What's your name, anyway?"
I'm starting to sweat. I have two choices: be honest, or pretend to have amnesia so I don't sound totally nuts. I hate lying and this...pony...seems pretty chill, so I tell the truth.
I look up to where I think her face is. "I'm Jay. And I have absolutely no clue where I am."
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"So you've really never heard of me, huh?"
"Nope."
I hear a clink as Rainbow sets her glass back on the table. We're sitting at some sidewalk cafe while I try to get my bearings and explain things, which isn't easy when all she wants to talk about is herself.
"Winner of the Best Young Flyer Competition a few years ago? The only pegasus ever to do a Sonic Rainboom?! Most ponies at least know me from the Weather Squad. I mean, I almost bucked the cloud you were standing on."
So she was the reason I fell! "For the last time, I've never heard of you or your damn Sonic Raincoat!"
"RainBOOM! Geez. You know, you've got a real mouth on you, kid."
"Who are you calling a kid?" I try to sound angry, but this voice wouldn't frighten a bunny rabbit. Do they have bunny rabbits here?
"I'm calling you a kid, kid!" she sounds annoyed. "I still don't know if I should believe you or not...but you sure don't sound like a pony, I'll give you that. You don't even walk like one. You fell down like five times on the way here."
"Like I said, I'm not a pony. At least I wasn't until I woke up this morning." Damn, she's stressing me out. I need a smoke.
Gulping noise. Rainbow is drinking the rest of her beverage--cider, she said. I ordered the same, but haven't touched it. I’m nervous about eating or drinking anything I can’t see. "You know something? You look kinda...familiar. Something about your cutie mark."
I make a face. "Cutie mark?"
"...You don't know what your cutie mark is?"
"Nope. Never heard of it."
"You've gotta be kidding! Somepony must have told you about cutie marks. How can you have one and not know about it? That's, like, everything! Your special talent!"
I scowl in her direction. "For the last time, I'm not a pony."
She sighs. "Right. Whatever you say, Jay. I can see you're gonna need some help. Let's haul our flanks over to the Weather Office so I can ask for the rest of the day off."
Just as long as she doesn't let go of my hand. I mean, hoof.
We walk through streets of clouds for what seems like forever. This is a big city, but Rainbow Dash knows it like the back of her hoof. She tries to describe different things as we pass by them, but she keeps saying stuff like "look over there" and "hey, see that?" and that really doesn't help me. After a while she starts talking about this book series I've never heard of, so I filter her out and start listening to the noises around me. There's a lot of stuff going on, that's for sure: flapping wings, muffled steps, and voices everywhere.
"Ditzy!" A gruff voice says to my left. "Did you mix up Cloudsdale's mail with Ponyville's again?!"
"I just don't know what went wrong." A female pony replies.
There's a strange whooshing sound to my right. I ask Rainbow what it is and she says some ponies are building a new house out of clouds. When I ask how that's possible, she just says it's complicated. But I guess if clouds are solid enough to stand on in this crazy world, you could use them for building materials too.
Finally we get to the Weather Office, and that's where all the trouble starts.
"Okay, we're here, squirt," Rainbow says. "Look over there and--"
"Blind, Rainbow."
"Sorry. Um, about 20 strides ahead at 12 o'clock is the Weather Office. That's where us Pegasi make most of the weather in Equestria, 'cause we're just that awesome. And at 3 o'clock, you'll see--"
"No, I won't."
"Sorry. At 3 o'clock, same distance, we've got the Cloudsdale Memorial Garden where they have statues of some really cool Pegasi who came before us."
"Like a cemetery?"
"Nah. You can't bury ponies in clouds. They tried it a long time ago, but...it didn't work out. Come on.” She leads me closer to where the statues are. “This big, tough-looking soldier in front of us is Commander Hurricane. He founded Cloudsdale a long time ago. Next to him there's Private Pansy, Hurricane's subordinate. Not quite as awesome as Hurricane, but pretty cool. Then the next statue...is..." She trails off.
I cast an uncertain look in her direction.
"NO. WAY." Rainbow sounds awestruck. "You can't...I mean...that's so not possible!"
"What are you talking about?"
"I knew I recognized you! The statue...you...it's totally you! The legendary weather pony? Creator of snowflakes?! Princess Luna's best friend? Omigosh omigosh omigosh omigosh..." She sounds like she's seen a celebrity. Or a ghost. Or the ghost of a celebrity.
"All right, all right, get a grip! So what if I look like her?" I cringe a little as Rainbow frantically examines me--squeezing my face in her hooves, ruffling my hair and tail, rubbing my leg... "Hey, watch it!"
Rainbow is talking a mile a minute now. "You don't just look like her, you have the same cutie mark! No two ponies ever have the same cutie mark unless they're siblings sometimes, and she--I mean, you didn't have any!"
“How do you know?”
“Are you kidding? We learned all about you in flight school! Okay, so I forgot like 99% of it, but…”
I feel the fur on the back of my neck starting to stand up. “Who?”
She answers quietly, like she’s finally noticing how freaked out I am. “Snowdrop.”
I freeze and stare into space. Cue the flashback...
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She's there. Same place she is every morning, on her hands and knees in the garden. I stand in the doorway, wincing from a bad hangover, and watch as she tucks a dozen new plants into the dewy soil.
She always had such gentle hands.
"What do you plant those things for, anyway?" I mumble. They're funny-looking flowers, small and white and droopy.
"I like the way they grow," she says brightly. "My mother planted these every year at our house. Do you know what she used to tell us about them?"
I suppress a groan. It's too early for a story about my mother-in-law.
"She would say 'girls, these are very special flowers. They're not like the sunflowers, who always gaze up at the sky. They look down, to protect their faces from the sun and wait for the night.'"
“Sounds pretty silly to me,” I rub my eyes and yawn.
She sighs and continues planting while I watch.
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"Snowdrop? Um...Jay? Hello! Can you hear me?" Rainbow is saying.
I can, but just barely. I'm lost in the past and trying to wrap my head around what this means. Because I know it means something.
Goddamn it Beth. Even here, I can't get away from you.