//------------------------------//
// Midnight 
// Story: My Twilight Facade 
// by axelsempai 
//------------------------------//

Luna trotted into the shared study of the castle, merrily levitating a paper bag behind her.  Celestia set her book down, happy to see her sister.  It was another lovely day as far as the solar princess was concerned.  Ever since her sister's return, life had a shine to it that couldn't fade.  The smile on her lips was unmistakably true.

"Luna, I see you're back from the city."

Luna had no inhibitions from showing her excitement, setting the bag on the table between them.  "Indeed I am, sister!  I have found the most wondrous collection of modern art and literature in the land!"

Celestia recalled Luna's admiration of the fine arts.  Perhaps it was from her own inability with the field, but Luna certainly had an eye for the subtleties that bored Celestia to tears.  Odd how beautiful the night sky could be, all things considered.  "I'm happy to hear that."

Celestia knew what was coming next.  Luna was about to pull some small pieces of art from her bag and show them off one by one with a long-winded explanation as to what each one meant.  It would be boring, but Celestia would patiently listen to it all, just happy to have her sister around once more.

Once Luna pulled out the first magazine, Celestia realized that the subject matter this time was entirely more embarrassing.

As if unaware of what she held in her magic, Luna beamed with complete admiration of the clearly pornographic cover.  "Behold this humble collection of art I'm aware is called 'photography'!  Never before have I seen such fine examples of the equine form!  Well-kept manes!  Their inviting expressions!  Every page I've seen contains the epitome of portrait art!"

Celestia sat in stunned silence, not showing a twitch on her features.  Debate ran through her mind if she should say or do something.  Perhaps she could let her excitable little sister prattle on about something she was both familiar with and entirely clueless about.

On the other hoof, Celestia would rather not sit through Luna's insistent display of ... laundry.

Yes, it was fortunate that she had an easy way out.  "That's great!  Cadence will be coming home tomorrow, so maybe she would like to discuss this with you?"

Luna seemed pleased at the suggestion, and unaware of the obvious misdirection.  "Wonderful idea!  She seems like a mare who appreciates the finer points of equine curvature!"

You have no idea.  Celestia thought bitterly.  While images flashed through her mind of Cadence's wilder years, the solar princess kept a neutral expression that didn't betray the relief she felt at changing the subject.  "Yes, she's found herself a wonderful stallion.  Remember Shining Armor?"

"Oh, the captain you mentioned going on bodyguard duty.  He's with Cadenza?"

"They're actually engaged."

"Good for them.  I shall wish them well."

"Yes, Shining is a lucky stallion.  You can't find a more loving mare than Cadence.  I'm sure they'll do wonderfully."

A guard knocked on the door, and entered with a crisp salute.  "Your highness, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and Captain Shining Armor have arrived at the castle."

Celestia was surprised, suffice to say.  They came back from their vacation earlier than expected.  Not that their early arrival was unwelcome, but she briefly wondered why.  Perhaps it was just Cadence misreading the calendar or something else minor like that.  No cause for concern, in any case.

"I thought you said they wouldn't return until tomorrow?"  Luna asked to clarify.

Celestia just smiled at the news without worry.  "Yes, it looks like you'll get to wish them well sooner than expected."

Shortly thereafter, Cadence and Shining entered the room, the stallion of the couple looking out of sorts.  The pink alicorn was merry, practically gliding inside to hug Celestia.   Neither of the senior alicorns missed the difference in their demeanor.  They held their tongues for the time being.

The young alicorn pulled out of the hug, all smiles.  "I'm back, auntie!"

Celestia returned her smile wholeheartedly.  "Welcome back.  How was your vacation?"

"Great!  We had a lot of fun in Prance."

"Did you take pictures?"

"Lots of them!"

Luna stepped into the conversation, smiling excitedly.  "You have pictures?  I love pictures!  I just purchased a book filled with them!"

Cadence was interested.  "You like pictures, aunt Luna?  What kind?"

"Behold!"  Luna's new favorite magazine flipped towards the pink alicorn in a navy hue.  "Portraits of equine perfection!"

Cadence's eyes widened at the offering.  Much to Celestia's horror, it wasn't embarrassment or terror.  It was enthusiasm.  "You like these, too?  Want to share?"

"You have more?"

"Absolutely!  Wait right here!"

With that, Cadence left the room in a hurry, eager to share her own collection.  Shining Armor stared at the far corner of the room, hoping that avoiding eye contact would hide his embarrassment.  Celestia shared the poor stallion's pain;  Luna was simply giddy.  Still, it was up to her to keep the conversation alive.

"So you came back earlier than we thought."  Celestia began.  "Weren't you going to spend a few days in Ponyville with Twilight?"

Shining's gaze met hers, but he didn't brighten in the slightest.  "That was the plan, but Twilight wasn't there."

"I see.  Did she leave Ponyville?"

Shining shook his head, exasperation showing clearly.  "I don't know who that mare was, but it wasn't Twilight."

Celestia felt a familiar pang of dread, knowing full well what the problem was.  "If this is about her changes, then I'm sure she told you all about it."

He scoffed.  "Yeah, she's pretty good at deflecting suspicion.  I would've fell for it, too, had Sweetie Drops not informed me of her more radical changes."

In an instant, the mood of the room shifted.  Everypony here knew who Sweetie Drops was, and anything she said couldn't be ignored.  Celestia prepared herself to hear something important.  However, she noted that Luna seemed annoyed at the news.  Perhaps she just didn't want to hear any neigh-saying about her friend.

"If Sweetie Drops had information on Twilight this whole time, then why didn't she tell me directly beforehoof?"  Celestia asked.

"She didn't say, but she insists that she's aware of Twilight's identity."

Her voice dry and unconvinced, Luna questioned the captain.  "Is this about her being an 'impostor'?"

Shining didn't show it, but he felt less certain that this conversation would go how he would hope.  Nonetheless, he persevered.  "She is an impostor.  I know my sister."

"And yet this supposed impostor almost fooled you."  Luna pointed out.

While she could understand Luna's reluctance to hear or speak ill of her only friend outside the castle, Celestia felt she needed to reinsert herself into the questioning before they could give the captain a fair chance.  "I'm afraid Luna is correct.  You said it was Agent Drops who ultimately convinced you, yes?  Then this isn't your own observation.  There's also the small matter that Spike spoke to me of this as well, yet I see nothing objectionable about Twilight or her change in behavior."

"I've known Twilight longer than Spike."

"He lives with her."

He winced, but pressed forward.  "There's no way that Twilight could have changed that much in less than a year.  She's never been active, yet she's suddenly become a gym freak?  That makes no sense.  Neither does her anger or how often she drinks.  She's never been one to make stashes or stockpile games, either."

"It just sounds like she's taken to expanding her interests since she made friends.  This is another topic I've discussed with Spike, yet he no longer seems to suspect Twilight."

"I think he's just gotten used to it.  I'm sure if we saw their behavior now when nopony is looking, we'll see just how different she really is."

Luna wasn't impressed or pleased.  "You mean to say we should spy on them directly, with Celestia's Scrying?"

"It would prove me right."

Celestia already grew impatient with this argument.  Since it meant ending this fast, she summoned a small hoof mirror hovering before the three of them.  "I'm only willing to do this one last time because I know Twilight will forgive me when I tell her next time we meet.  I'm hoping this will be the last I hear of Twilight being an impostor.  Am I clear?"

Shining nodded solemnly.  This would be his only chance to have the princess on his side.  "I understand."

"Fine then.  I too am eager to see Twilight prove her innocence."  Luna agreed.

With everypony in agreement, she lit her horn and the mirror's sheen morphed into a one-way view port.  Miles away, and shown on their screen, they saw the lavender impostor holding a set of cards before her.



Her face showed a clear mix of anger and fatigue.  Multiple times, she moved a hoof towards one of her cards, looked at the table, and thought better of it.

A long half-minute passed before Spike's voice sounded from off the screen, arrogance tinting his tone.  "You know, it probably doesn't matter which card you use next."

"Shut it."  Twilight shot venomously.  In her frustration, she quickly threw down a card and glared hard past the mirror's edge.  "There, happy now?"

"Totally!"  A card flipped onto the table.  "And now my green magic takes over the field, nullifying your black magic.  All I have to do now is get my dryads to attack and you'll lose in two turns."

Twilight, doing her best impression of a teapot ready to burst, seethed through her deck, and threw her cards across the room.  "This game sucks!"

"Hey, you're the one who wanted to fight me.  Don't blame the game for your mistakes."  Spike taunted fearlessly.

Twilight's teeth ground together with a force equivalent to plate tectonics.  "I'm gonna kill you in your sleep."  She took a calming breath and stepped away from the table.  "I'm getting a drink."

She pulled a book from a bookshelf and looked behind it.  Confused, she pulled out another book, and then another.  She levitated the entire row of books, apparently not seeing what should have been there.  "Hey Spike, what happened to the stash I kept back here?"

"Shining Armor found it last night.  He said something about how I shouldn't be living here where alcohol is within my reach and poured it down the drain."

She spun on her hooves and yelled with shock.  "He poured out two liters of rum? That dick!  Next time I see him, I'll rip off his head, shove it down his throat hole, and make him shit out his own fucking skull!"





Shining Armor turned to Celestia, asking the obvious question.  "You don't honestly think that's Twilight, do you?"

Celestia sighed, knowing that there was no escaping it this time.  "No, I don't.  The real Twilight wouldn't threaten her own brother like that."

"So we're going to arrest this impostor, right?"  Shining asked, hope filling his eyes.

"Not yet."  Celestia halted Shining Armor's opposition with a raised hoof.  "I know, you want Twilight back.  So do I, but we can't be rash about this.  This mare is corrupted by dark magic, and any overt action on our part risks great collateral damage."

"But if she's using dark magic, then we need to act fast!  Get magic nullifiers and lots of unicorns to surround her before she even knows what's happening!"

"No, Shining Armor, it's too risky.  We don't know what we're dealing with.  If she could replace Twilight and establish a life in Ponyville, then it's likely that she has allies.  It's not just hidden forces we need to worry about, either.  We might have to face the possibility of her friends taking her side in any conflict."

"If they side with her over you, then they must be brainwashed.  Let's just get them treated in that case."

"Agent Drops has been spying on her for a while, now.  If that was the case, we'd already know.  It's more likely that the impostor made genuine relationships among the townsponies.  Any act of aggression on our part would simply hurt our own standing in the nation."

"Then what are we going to do?  We can't do nothing!"

"We have to move in secret.  Hide this information from everypony but those involved.  Right now, we need to keep everything quiet and only move when every possibility has been covered."

"How about luring her somewhere secluded?  We could get Cadence or Spike to take her to a field somewhere, or even in a forest."

"We shouldn't include Cadence unless we have to.  Whatever we plan must be kept between the smallest number of ponies possible."  Celestia concluded.

"Right, she did take the impostor's side earlier.  I don't think we can convince her easily.  So we get Spike?"

"No, he's been living with her for months, now.  He's the most likely to be compromised ever since the impostor learned from me of his suspicions.  We should rely on Sweetie Drops to keep an eye on her before we make any movements."

With that, the two came to a conclusion:  wait and see what happens.  Surely the scrutiny from their best spy would reveal something they could use.  They nodded their confirmation to the plan.  Still, Celestia thought there was one more voice they needed.  She turned to Luna once more, finding her sister staring blankly between them.

Celestia took a tone of worry for her sister.  "Luna, are you alright?"

Luna snapped back into attention.  "Huh?  Did you say something?"

"I asked if you were alright."

Luna nodded.  "Yes, I'm fine.  Just thinking."

"Thinking about what we need to do about Twilight?"

Luna nodded again, albeit shakier.  "Yes, I think your current plan sounds good.  In fact, it sounds like you have it covered.  I'll leave you to it."  Luna took hasty steps to leave, obviously distressed.  She was already outside before Celestia could ask any further.

Celestia frowned, knowing why Luna left so abruptly.  "I'm sorry, Shining Armor, but Luna isn't taking this very well.  I believe she likes this impostor of ours."

It took all of his willpower to suppress a huff.  "We have to deal with that impostor sooner or later.  I just hope she can see that."

Celestia felt torn in two directions.  She needed to find some way to balance this, neither losing the captain's trust or her sister's.  Truthfully, this "wait and see" strategy was the best she could do for now.  She needed more information herself if she was going to find some solution for everypony.

And honestly, she liked this impostor as well.

Further deliberation was halted when the door slammed open with an ecstatic Cadence practically floating inside.  Copious magazines and books surrounded her in a glowing blue wall of debauchery.  She scanned the room, slightly disappointed that she couldn't find Luna anywhere.  Her smile ticked back up when she leveled her gaze upon the only ones left.  "Well, since aunt Luna isn't here, I guess it's just us!"

Celestia gulped loudly.  Shining visibly sweated.





Harsh winds blasted desert ash against my face, buffeting my steady advance up the stone steps.  Broken corpses lay behind me as the sole proof of the resistance I faced on my way forward.  Sixteen dead men in raiding gear told a gruesome tale, warning the remaining bandits that I wasn't someone to fuck with.  Retreating footsteps from cowards was the only companion I had left, though I didn't feel a thing besides burning anger.

I had all the time in the world now that I was here.  Beyond the stone doors atop the stairs was my goal.  Just one shitbag left to kill, then I'd see her again.  It was so close that I felt I could take my time.

Pulling a cloth out of my denim vest's pocket, I wiped some blood splatter off my dull grey shoulder pads to restore a small sense of cleanliness.  Fruitless, I figured, but I just had the urge to do so.  Besides, if my girl really was in the base, then I wanted to look my best as I killed the son of a bitch who took her.  To that end, I wiped my face of sweat and other people's blood and tossed the rag.  No need to feel guilty about littering since the bombs dropped and all.

The massive stone doors stood before me, tall and strong, barring my entry.  It would normally take a team of twenty men to pull them open, but I didn't bring any friends.  I raised my hand to the doors as if to demand they halt, and pushed.  Unnatural strength blasted the doors off the frame, toppling the mighty barrier like it was Styrofoam.

I glared within the chamber of columns, and I quickly found what I was looking for.  Atop yet more stairs was an ancient throne, crumbling with age and neglect.  A powerful man sat on the throne, unimpressed with my entrance and amused that I returned.  This gay clown looking bastard had the audacity to wear a cape with a formal suit (a blue suit, no less!).  Lines of red makeup made his face look like a contour map, neatly covering the scars he got from when his daddy beat him before the war.  If I didn't kill him here, I'd be adding a few more.

But beside him was a manacled woman of unparalleled beauty.  Her bouncy, curly hair didn't lose one bit of its luster since I last saw it, like a plush cloud of cotton candy from the fair.  Her hopeful blue eyes filled my spirit with happiness that reflected from her smile.  Though her forelegs were bound above her, she still clapped in excitement and hollered her support.

Pinkie Pie yelled and rattled her chains with exuberant applause.  "Woo, Twiley!  You go girl!"

I flashed her a quick smirk, just to let her know I appreciated it.  But then my gaze turned to the asshole beside her.  I wasn't smiling anymore.

He brought his hands together, slowly and sarcastically, as if in condescending critique of my presence.  "Well done, hero.  You've killed countless men just to save one girl.  I hope you're proud of yourself."

I scoffed.  "I didn't kill anyone.  All I did was take out the trash."

The bastard actually smiled at that, like he was amused by the deaths of his minions.  "Yes, even you can make short work of low-grade degenerates.  But as we've seen before, you always fall short when someone more worthwhile takes what he deserves."

"You don't deserve anything but a slow death, clown boy, and I'm here to deliver."

His haughty laughter filled the room, taking a year off my smile's lifespan.  "Really?  I don't remember calling for a freak show."  He stood from the throne, dark and gaudy cape flapping in the wind.  I guess he thought he looked badass.

"You didn't have to.  You look enough like a side-show circus attraction that you only need to look in a mirror."

Slow, plodding steps down to my level went with an increasingly crooked grin.  "Such words.  Truly, the only thing slower than your wit is your fist."

"The only thing that saved you last time was my conscience.  Now that I've crawled out of hell for a rematch, you'll see how much of a handicap that was."

More derisive chuckling, as if that wasn't getting tiresome already.  "Are you sure it wasn't your ridiculous love for that obnoxious mare that held you back?  Your misplaced sentimentality for a pretty face is your true weakness.  You should know that a woman like her is useful for little more than breeding."

I gnashed my teeth as he finally stood in front of me.  Nothing but a few dozen inches between my hands and his throat.  "You should know that her love is what kept me alive."

He wasn't moved by the sentiment.  "It won't do you any good, hero.  You'll die a miserable death in front of a worthless love.  You were a fool to challenge me twice."

"My magic is invincible.  You'll see firsthand why stealing my girl was your last mistake."

There was a wild glint in his eyes, growing through our confrontation and reaching its zenith.  His stance widened, pulling his left foot back and right hand up, fingers straight and perpendicular to his palm.  Some bullshit martial arts pose.  "A fool like you deserves to lose everything.  Who could blame a thief for striking such an easy target?"

"Yeah, your mom's an easy target."

His grin fell immediately, disappointed.  "Hm, yes, very mature."

"Blah blah blah, you're all talk."  I intoned impatiently.  "Just throw a punch, you pussy."

"Very well, you'll die to my signature style!  Behold the Mountain Crane Rock Splitting Fist!"

He shot his hand towards my throat, his fingers ram-rod straight and set to cut right through my windpipe.  It was a scary style that indeed cut through damn near anything.  His hand cut through the air like a dagger in the night and neared me swiftly.  Just a few milliseconds stood between me and an agonizing death.

It all seemed hopeless until my hand shot up and pushed his fingers apart.  Before he could even react, I had my fingers grip his hand like a shackle.  His face dropped that manic glee in favor of the best "oh shit"  look of fear I've ever seen.  The tables were turned, and I pushed forward.

Figuratively, and literally.  I twisted his wrist back, forcing him to his knees.  My other hand balled into a fist and went right up into the side of his head.  It wasn't the hardest blow I could've delivered, but it still sent him rolling a couple of feet away from me.

He stopped his rolling on his feet, crouched for recovery and stunned at the difference in my power.  "W-what is this?  How could you stop my Boulder Cutter Blade so easily?  What martial art have you learned to get such power?"

I cracked my knuckles in promise of a thorough ass beating.  "Martial arts are for pussies.  I'm just gonna kick your ass."

I saw his life flash before his eyes as he realized how much of his worthless life he wasted on training some stupid bird punch.  He didn't give in, though.  He jumped through the air for one last attack on me, trying his pointless finger-poke attack, only now he's slightly above me.

I threw a punch with my fist colliding with his.  The fingers snapped and caved , followed by his arm, his shoulder, and finally his chest.  My attack blew him into a pillar, shattering both it and his body.  Rubble and dust fell around him while he could barely manage to cough.

My echoing footfalls approached him.  My enemy sputtered and coughed, blood spurting out of his gurgling throat.  This fight was already over.  I stood above him, victorious as I was in all things.  A smile graced my face, like a demon basking upon a flame-wreathed rock.  I extended my hand in his direction, lavender light coating it like poison on an arrow.

"Like a bitch."

His head exploded like a hammered tomato, giving the floor a nice shade of crimson for an otherwise dreary room.  It felt good, not gonna lie.  As I turned to my darling Pinkie, I realized it was gonna feel that much better.

I stood before her, both of us smiling at our successful reunion.  "Sorry for the wait."

"That's okay, I knew you'd come for me."  She sounded so enthused to see me again that I felt a soaring in my heart.

"Always for you, beautiful."  I came closer to her, reaching my hands for the shackles above her.  "Now, let's just get these off."

"Wait!"

I stopped, may face pleasantly close to hers.  "What?"

Her smile turned sly.  "Leave them on."

"Uh, okay."

"Now come closer."

I felt a lot warmer all of a sudden.  "Okay."

I inched closer to her, Pinkie biting her lip all the while.  She had a plan for me, that much I could see.  Perhaps this was my "reward".  Wasn't about to argue with that.  Her eyes closed as I approached, muzzle drifting forward to meet me.  My eyes closed as well, leaving only the anticipation I felt as my guide.  Centimeters separated us.  Ours lips closed ever closer, tantalizingly slowly.

A flash of light and power caught my attention behind me.  I pulled away from Pinkie and whirled about to face this new intruder.  Magic flowed through my hands promising swift annihilation for the son of a bitch who interrupted my kiss, but it quickly died when I saw who it was.

"Oh, Luna, I didn't expect to see you so soon."

Princess Luna seemed baffled.  "Pardon?"

"Yeah, I though you were looking for Celestia in City G.  Did ya hit a dead end?"

"Uh, I already know where my sister is."

"Nice, does this mean you're gonna rebuild Equestria?"

The hamster wheel in Luna's head struggled to spin.  "But Equestria is fine."

Meanwhile, my wheel's hamster was missing.  "How is Equestria fine after, like, ten thousand nuclear missiles?"

"What's a nuclear missile?"

The howling wind ceased its bellyaching as time came to a halt.  Pieces of reality and logic filtered into my brain as a conclusion took form.  I turned to Pinkie, then to Luna.

"This is a dream, isn't it?"

My eyes opened, seeing the ceiling of my house.  What a weird dream.

I turned my head to the side, finding Luna staring at me.  How long was she here?  Looking past her, I noticed that my balcony door was open.  I'd normally think nothing of it, if only I wasn't sure that I locked that door just last night.

"Sorry for waking you.  I know how lightly you sleep."  Luna whispered.

I sat up a groan, facing the princess with a heavier kind of morning grogginess.  "You just woke me up at the good part."

She lowered her head.  "I'm sorry."

"It's okay.  I'm sure I'll have another opportunity sometime."  I shifted around to face her more directly.  "So what's up?"

"I was wandering if you would like to spend some time together with me."  She added almost desperately.  "Please?"

Even as sleepy as I was, I noticed that hitch in her voice.  If I cared about her friendship, I couldn't say no.  "Alright, sounds like fun.  Good thing I have a spell for this."

Light pulsed through my horn and into my body.  Fatigue left me like a swift eviction, and I felt ready for another day in an instant.  I got out of bed like I had a full night's rest, surprising Luna with my sudden vigor.

"You have a spell that wards off sleep?"

I made way to the bathroom, grabbing a brush and getting my mane into order.  "Yeah, but I can't use it too often.  It only makes you ignore drowsiness, not immune."

"So when the spell's effects run out..."

"Yeah, I feel the cumulative strain of multiple days without rest.  I'll be fine as long as it's just for tonight."

"It's a good thing you conveniently have such a spell."

I flashed her a wry smile on my way outside the bathroom.  "I'm friends with the night princess.  It pays to be prepared."

Judging by the smile she gave me in return, she appreciated my effort on being ready for her.  I guess All-Nighter was a good idea for a spell, after all.

After a few moments of discussion, we decided to spend this night at the arcade again.  It wasn't difficult to get there, since I was better prepared for this.  We didn't get lost, and the darkened streets didn't turn us around.  All in all, the trip itself barely warranted a mention, if not for the fact that I noticed a sullenness in Luna's demeanor.  Something was definitely wrong, and I doubted she was simply lonely.

We walked inside to find the same stallion as before manning the counter with his ever-bored expression quickly morphing into shock.

"P-princess!"  He hit his head on the counter in an attempt to bow, quickly taking a step back to do it properly.

"Are you going to do that every time we come here?"  I asked.

He said nothing.  Guess he didn't care about my opinion one way or another.  Asshole.

"Can we get some drinks?"  Luna asked politely.

"Right away!"  The guy quickly responded.  His service was swift, and our soda were before us before we could blink.

"Thank you."  As we left the counter, I realized he didn't charge us.  Traveling with a princess had its perks.

We took our spots at a machine and put in the bits.  We did the whole shebang, pushing buttons and wiggling joysticks, but I honestly can't remember what we played that day.  There was this feeling over us like a heavy weight bearing down.  Barely halfway through the first screen, and the coin dropped when Luna spoke.

"So I have this friend..."

Aw, crap.  There were only so many ways this was gonna go.

"And she's hiding a big secret."

"Well, we've all got skeletons in our closets."  I remarked.

"Some skeletons are bigger than others."  She shot back.

"Are we talking pony sized or manticore or...?"

"Manticore sized.  Maybe dragon."

I let that one settle for a moment, only button mashing filling the air for the duration.  "So, bad."

"Yes."

"What kind of secret?  Is your friend a closet lesbian, or something?"

"She's not who she says she is."

I think my character died, because I momentarily forgot how to push buttons.  Happens to the best of us, right?  "Whoops, there goes another bit."  I plopped in another coin and played like nothing happened.  "So what are you thinking of this friend?"

"She means the world to me.  I don't want anything to happen to this mare, but I fear it's inevitable.  Powerful ponies know the truth, and they are going to act."

Well shit, that's ominous.  I sure hope her friend can figure something out.

...

...

Wait, nopony talks about a friend like this unless...

I turned my eyes to Luna, finding her staring at me with heavy dread.  If I wasn't so sure that she was my friend, I would have had chills at that moment.  This wasn't a social chat or a plea for advice.  This was a warning.

"I hope my friend is ready for trouble."