So much for a peaceful lunch
I just wanted to eat. Cinnamon Swirl had other ideas, though. Even before anypony produced so much as a single lunchtime grape, he started pestering me to go look through my saddlebags. Being the kindly person that I am, I decided that a grumbly tummy could wait a couple minutes while I looked through the supplies that Zecora had been kind enough to give me.
To be bluntly honest, I hadn't exactly paid the closest attention to what she'd given me. That rhyming gets really hypnotic after a while, and I kind of just zoned out.
So, long story short (too late?) I started unpacking everything. Jars and jugs, bottles and philters and little paper envelopes filled with powders, all came out to be stacked on the ground. Lucky for me, Zecora had written handy little notes on each one explaining what it did. In rhyme. That crazy zebra sure loves rhyming!
The last thing I pulled from the bag was a small, fancy red glass bottle. I was about to read the note when something occurred to me.
"Hey, hypothetical question," I asked the impatient filly. "Let's say I do cure you. Are you going to cause any problems for the group, like try to arrest me or anything?"
"I'm outnumbered six to one, and your friends have already proven they'll help you resist, so I don't think I'll be arresting you," he grated, back to the gravel-voice. "I'll do my best to convince you to come back with me quietly, though."
I sighed and said, "Well, that would be annoying." Then I read the label on the bottle.
"Ah, well. No luck. I don't have any poison joke antidote here," I told him, then put on a big smile to try and cheer him up. "You're cuter as a filly, anyway!"
He just stared at me while I put the red bottle back in the bag and then started packing things back in again.
"I don't believe you," he said.
"What?"
"Let me see that last bottle."
"Well, okay, but... I've already got a bunch of stuff packed back in. You really want me to unpack everything again?"
He just stared at me coldly, then marched back to the rest of the group. Fluttershy gave him a sandwich. I shrugged, then got everything packed back up, then joined the group myself to start eating.
After a few minutes, Cinnamon Swirl left to go use "the little filly's bush" (my words, not his). I didn't think anything of it until I heard some noise from behind me a minute later. I turned to see a little filly butt poking out of the top of my saddlebag.
"Hey, what are you doing?" I asked, alarmed.
"I'm using this!" he said, pulling the red bottle out. "I can't stand the thought of being a little filly any more!"
"Hey, that's not..." I said, as he started to crush the bottle he was holding over his head. "Wait! Don't do it!"
"Why not?!" he replied, with a laugh that was a little on the crazy side. "Don't you want me to be cured?"
The liquid inside cascaded over his little filly head, soaking him.
"Because that's not poison joke cure," I said sadly as he coughed and spluttered. "It's a bottle of perfume that Zecora gave me to give to Skyggie as a present."
"What?!" he shrieked, then broke down coughing again. A strong, flowery scent of rose permeated the area, making everypony's eyes water.
"Goodness, that's... quite a lot of scent," Rarity said. "It's... quite lovely. But perhaps we could tone it down a little bit?"
"No problem," I said, then dumped the water bucket over the coughing filly's head.
"H-hey!" he spluttered weakly.
"Nope," I drawled, my eyes still watering from the perfume. "You're gonna need a bath, bud."
Twilight sighed, put her sandwich aside, and wrapped the poor little guy-filly in a telekinetic field, dragging him towards the river. Awkward silence ensued while the rest of us sat in a tight circle, eating our sandwiches and trying desperately to pretend like there wasn't a foul-mouthed filly being repeatedly dunked into the water nearby.
"Sooo," I said. "Great sandwiches. Who made them?"
"Um..." Fluttershy replied, flinching at a particularly inventive string of insults regarding Twilight's appearance. "I made them before we left."
Ah, I thought I detected a slight hint of barnyard.
"Well, they're great!" I said, chewing noisily.
"Ah'll say," Applejack said loudly, managing to (mostly) drown out an expletive-filled tirade on the merits of Twilight's ancestry. "Mighty tasty, Fluttershy. Mighty tasty, indeed."
"Yes, quite-"
"...and can go censored yourself with a censored CACTUS, you censored..." floated across our lunch site.
"-delicious," Rarity finished, lamely.
At a loss for words, we just sat idly by until an obviously angry Twilight returned, dumping a wet and sullen Cinnamon Swirl at our hooves.
"Eat!" she said, levitating a sandwich into the filly's mouth. "Use that mouth of yours for something other than filth."
Cinnamon Swirl pulled the sandwich out, and his lungs inflated mightily, no doubt getting ready for another tirade demonstrating the many inventive ways you can use swear words to describe a pony.
"It's either the sandwich," Twilight said, darkly, cutting him off, "or this bar of soap."
The filly regarded the bar of soap hanging in Twilight's magical grasp, then looked back at the mare scowling at him. He deflated, and chose the wiser and tastier option.
With two of our members furious with each other, lunch proceeded awkwardly and quickly. We got packed back up, I harnessed Dashie up (lucky mare slept through the whole thing) and we got on our way again.
I won't bore you with the details of the rest of the journey out of the forest. I think the Everfree was aware of the fact that the five mares I was traveling with represented the most flank-kicking concentration of awesome in all of Equestria, and decided not to mess with us any further.
On the far side of the Everfree was rocks and plains. Dusty plains stretching off as far as the eye could see, with nothing but a single small mountain in the distance. It was a weird-looking mountain, thrusting up out of the ground like an accusing finger pointing at the sky, tall and narrow and completely out of place in that otherwise flat and dusty plain.
"The Traveler's Spire," Twilight said, tucking her map away with a look of satisfaction. "Skyggie's castle should be at the base of that. We should be there before noon tomorrow."
"Can't we keep going?" I asked. "I mean, it's right there! We could reach it tonight!"
"The sun's already settin'" Applejack pointed out. "an' that's a fair distance away, still. We ain't gonna reach it until near-mornin' even if we walk all night. Ah'd rather be rested when we face... whatever we're facing when we get there."
"I quite agree," Rarity added. "My hooves are just aching from all this walking. A rest would be most welcome."
We opted to stay near the Everfree, with its abundant sources of firewood and water, setting up camp just outside of the treeline. We soon had a fire going, and we were sitting around, mainly being quiet. Twilight and Cinnamon Swirl were still not on speaking terms, and their sullenness more or less infected the entire group with a lack-of-good-times.
"Say, why don't I tell you all a little bit more about me?" I suggested, trying to break the tension. "I can tell you about my college days, or some of the things I got up to as a kid, or..."
I trailed off, looking around warily.
"What's up, Pinks?" Applejack asked.
"It's just... every time I try to tell you guys about my past, something weird seems to happen. I guess I'm just expecting something to leap out of the Everfree and attack us, or something."
"That's just coincidence," Twilight said shortly, obviously still crabby from being called a censored daughter of a censored manticore earlier. "I think we should learn more about you."
"Okay," I said, tempting fate. "Well, how to start? I was born on a cold winter's day..."
"Blugh?!" Came a voice from behind me, and I sighed. "Get offa me, you crazy licorice!"
"Dash is awake," I pointed out needlessly.
We spent a little time getting the woozy pegasus back on her hooves. The first thing she did was excuse herself and stagger drunkenly off to a nearby bush to "take care of some business." She returned a minute later, obviously much more coherent.
"That's better," she said happily. "We got anything to eat? Hey, what smells like flowers?"
Cinnamon Swirl just glared at her while Fluttershy passed some food over to her.
"Pinkie Guy here was going to tell us her... his story," Twilight said, smiling a little at the joke name. Ugh.
"Awefum," Dash mumbled around a mouth full of sandwich. "G'fer it."
I sighed, then tried again. And, my goodness, I actually managed to talk! I won't bore you guys with the details of my life, but I told the ponies a lot about what it was like to grow up as a human. Of course, me being me, I couldn't help but recount some of my more... interesting adventures. I may or may not have embellished. Honestly, I can't remember if I did or not, I was so caught up in the story telling.
For example: "We were so sure that it was a killer bear or a maniac axe-killer on the loose, that we just started running," I said at one point, relating a story of backyard camping gone awry. Every single pony, even Cinnamon Swirl, was staring at me with wide eyes as I talked. "We got back to the porch, hit the light... and scared the dickens out of the raccoon that was tearing apart our cooler."
Rainbow Dash snorted. "A raccoon? You guys freaked out about a raccoon?"
"Hey, when it's that dark out, a raccoon sounds huge. Our imaginations did the rest!"
It was a lame story, the story of how my brothers and I nearly peed ourselves with fright after having our cooler viciously assaulted by a raccoon, but it broke some of the tension.
I continued on, sensing approval from the ponies around me as I related story after story from my childhood, many of them ending up with me being injured in some way.
It occurred to me, as I was talking, how crazy it all had to sound to outsiders, even though a lot of it made sense at the time. Rainbow hooted with laughter at the story of me jumping off of a roof with a super-hero cape made out of a bath towel (broken wrist and one cracked rib). Applejack enjoyed the story of the time I visited a cousin's farm and decided to take a tractor (having to take a brief moment to explain what a tractor was) for a spin, only to end up with it sideways in a ditch and me covered with... well, the ditch in question was used to dispose of cow manure. I'd ended up with a cracked collarbone on that one.
"See, there are worse things to be covered with than perfume," I informed Cinnamon Swirl with a wink. In spite of himself, he snorted with laughter, then glowered at me as if I'd tricked him into enjoying himself for my own nefarious purposes.
I talked for a a while, reliving my life. It felt... good. It reminded me of who I really was, under all the pink. My nostalgia prompted other pony's nostalgia, and the others started talking, too. I was fascinated. I mean, I knew a lot about these guys from the show, but there's so much we don't know about them.
I was in total geek heaven listening to them talk. I can't even tell you guys! The stories were amazing, and I really wish I could remember them all, I really do.
Like, for example, how Fluttershy had gotten a job as a waitress when she first came to Ponyville. Apparently, she was walking to her first table to take their order, walked right past them, and then just kept on going until she was out the door and on the outskirts of town.
Or how Applejack once got stuck in a well when she was a filly. Not because she fell into it, but because a couple of fillies from her school had convinced her that there was a sack of bits at the bottom of it.
Or how Twilight had miscast a spell and accidentally summoned a horrendous creature from another dimension, all teeth and claws, which Celestia then subdued and now keeps as a pet. Apparently, she calls him "Fluffy-kins".
Or Rarity, who tripped over a fold in the carpet at her own cuteceanera and fell face-first into the cake. "And there I was, without even a conveniently-placed obnoxious prince to shake it off onto," she said, laughing in an extremely infectious way.
Rainbow Dash refused to admit any misadventures, but Fluttershy helpfully supplied the time that she got mixed up during a flight exam. Even though she completed the course in record time, her score had to be thrown out... because she went around the track the wrong way.
"Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up," she said. "At least the name 'Wrong-way Dash' didn't stick."
"Only because 'Rainbow Crash' sounds better," Fluttershy said, the barest hint of smugness in her voice. When Rainbow Dash looked at her with amazement for her unexpected snarkiness, she replied by saying, "You shouldn't have told them that I used to wear braces."
Even Cinnamon Swirl eventually defrosted enough to relate a story about his colt-hood. Apparently, he decided to become a police officer after somepony stole his backpack from school. Not a funny story, like the rest, but it was still nice to have our floral-smelling filly mascot joining in the conversation.
Eventually, it was time to turn in. Twilight and Rainbow Dash took the first watch, Rarity and Fluttershy would take the last, which meant that I'd have to get woken up in the middle of the night with Applejack, in order to keep an eye on things. Cinnamon Swirl, the lucky dog, got to stay in Fluttershy's tent, since we were pretty sure he wouldn't run away, and he was small enough to fit inside a single-pony tent with her.
As we were settling down to get some sleep, Applejack turned to me.
"That was a nice piece o' work," she said approvingly.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Getting us all talking, by talking about yourself. It's been kind of a rough trip, and tempers were gettin' on the short side. Ah think things are better, now."
"Well, I really just wanted to finally share my story," I admitted. "The whole 'opening up and sharing' thing that everypony else did was a nice, but unintended, side effect."
"Honest and humble, too," Applejack said, chuckling. "Ah want my own Pinkie Pie back, but... Well, shucks. Ah reckon' Ah'll miss you when you're gone."
That was a shot straight to the heart, I can tell you. Totally unexpected, extremely touching... I blinked back happy tears for a minute.
"Thanks, Applejack," I said, choking with emotion. "I'll miss you guys, too, of course. Maybe Pinkie would be interested in a time-share option, so I can come to visit!"
I said it jokingly, because I was pretty sure it wouldn't be possible. AJ laughed, saying, "Well, that may be. As long as y'all don't make us sit through one of them gol-durned three hour time share lectures!"
I laughed too, snuggling into my blankets as I did so.
"Good night, Applejack," I said. "I'll see you in a few hours."
"'Night, Pinks," AJ said, getting under her own covers. I was just drifting off to sleep when she said, "An', can ya do me one little favor?"
"Sure, AJ. What's up?"
"Ya kinda woke me up last night, what with yer snorin'. Can you try to keep it down tonight?"
"Sure, I... Wait, what?"
There followed a brief but lively pillow fight, both of us trying not to giggle and failing utterly, until Twilight poked her head into our tent (she got a wayward pillow to the face for her troubles) to ask us to please keep it down.
We stopped, calling a truce, and now it's time I got some sleep. I'll pick this up again in the morning.
'Night!
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Ta-daa!
I've mentioned this in a post on Sunflower, but I'm in the process of moving. That's why my updates have been a little slow, and why I may not be able to get to more updates soon. But things are going to get a lot more fun with this story in a little bit.
Also, here's a pony-maker picture of Doctor Needles, aka Dr. Creepy-face McLiar-pants:
i1167.photobucket.com/albums/q624/Hoopy_McGee/DoctorNeedles-aka-DrCreepy-pantsMcLiar-face-1.jpg
(that's a needle cutie mark, by the way)
He's not even wearing pants.
Crazy Pinkie-guy!
Still awsome
hey Author, do you know how many more chapters this has to go?
just curious...
Another 2 great chapters!
Blimey, how do you even get a needle cutie mark? Actually, I don't think I want to know.
1195683
I was originally thinking this would only take me 8 chapters or so to tell the story. So, I'm obviously not that good at estimating that kind of thing
At a guess... I'd say maybe four more? But don't hold me to that
1195597
So he's "Needle Butt" both because of his cutie mark, AND because he like to poke people in the butt with needles? Dude.
Also, will Pinkie be sleepwalking tonight, with her personality?
That was fun. I'd like another.
For the past 36 hours, not a single one of the 50+ stories I've been tracking have updated.
My reaction...
After re-reading "that lone wolf stuff," I refresh the page with 6 chaps waiting for me.
My reaction?
YEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1195708
Yeah strange day ...
Nothing I track on any site besides this Story updated today
1195708 I know that feel bro
This story is both adorable and hilarious
One question....Will we ever learn his name?.....At the end maybe? This be drivin me to insanity, help a brotha out
And to think, earlier I was complaining about how this story hasn't updated in...
FOREVERRRRRRRRRR!!!
But seriously, I love the twists and turns this story has gone down.
Keep it up!
Dawwww
Not just one, but two more chapters? Yay!
Geek heaven? You bet your sweet bippy we'd all love to sit around a campfire and swap stories with them ponies.
Of course, we'd prefer to do it at least as our proper gender. 
Anyway, good stuffs, man. Keep up the good work, dance the dance of doom, all that hullabaloo.
1195597
Oh that bastard stole Faust's good looks!
No one that evil should have good looks.
Ha ha, that was cute. Wonder why nopony realizes who the EOH are. That's kind of a big thing to not know.
When they get Pinkie Pie back it would be funny if she went on a crazy adventure like Pinkie Guy did.
I sincerely wish you make a wrong estimate again, and continue the story beyond your projected 4 chapters.
The chapter itself is really sweet with the story telling and all but something that is piquing my curiosity is will we ever see or learn more about Mr. Fluffy-kins?
Death claw from FO:3/NV?
Huh, so I am partly right about my theory with the protagonist. He does seem like the adventurous type. While that makes him more like Dash than Pinkie, he seems to be prone to joke around and do crazy things if his current attitude and childhood is any indication. If I hear that he likes to throw parties, then it's pretty clear why he was chosen to replace Pinkie instead of another pony!
Honestly, I partly thought the mares would probably be more like "I hope this will be over soon." It's nice to see they really do tolerate and appreciate his company, especially how AJ expressed it.
Hopefully, Pinkie is doing okay too. I guess we'll see what she's going through when they meet Skyggie. Please don't be in jail, an asylum, or anything like that Pinkie!
In a day of shortskirtsandexplosions, some good old-fashioned Pinkie Pie-style comedy is greatly appreciated!
I got to laugh before I cry my eyes out from Background Pony update and the 7 other Skirts fics published today.
So, thank ya kindly sir for the double update!
Something to read! FINALLY.
okay serious question is needle butt a morphine addict
Anyone else feeling that the "Good Doctor" ought to be fed to a dragon ... who needs to vomit really, really, really hard?
One of my favorites fics finally got an update, sadly I read it very fast but that's don't mean that I didn't enjoyed it.
But I have a question, those "Fluffy-kins" are Deathclaws from Fallout???
Awesome, thank you for the wonderful chapters, I love your tiny stories for the mane 5 to go through as kids, those were hilarious.
1195597So wait, his special talent is heroin? GENIUS!
I saw that there was a great big story to read and I was like
and then I started reading it and I was like 
and then I had a few more times when I went 
and then you told the part about Cinnamon Swirl and I got all 
again and now I ran out of finished story so I'm getting 
so I hope you put up some more before I get 
.
Awww, that was cuuuute xD
This is becoming a very entertaining story but I cannot accept such use of "guys" period.
Amazing job. I would like to see more of Terrace and Dr. Needlebutt
have I praised my love of this story recently?
No?
Well then, I love this story.
Oh you
They must be very sleepy, cuz it's WAY past morning.
Not bad.
This reminds me. I need to get to sleep too.
1195693 I know that feeling. I'm trying to estimate the ending for my story since I recently figured out how events will go. My estimation? Between four and ten chapters.
Saw it on the featured bar for the second time, thought, "no way this can be good."
Now it's 3:30 AM. What can I say, I was wrong!
"you finally admitted a mistake!"
That's right Flutters, I sure did.
That was amazing breather chapter for Pinkie Guy there and to remember everything about himself as he told his story to the mane cast, however, I feel for him that he'll ever meet them again when this is all over. It's even more sad that the stories that the mane cast told him will probably not be canon when the show continues or changes things in the past because he is in one of the many alternate realities of the pony world. It just sucks so much that an adventure like that for him is ending, but at least he'll get his body back and he gets to be the lucky bronies to even hang out with the ponies even if he had to hijacked one of them. ^^;
1195597 He looks like an infidel, we need to do something about that. Like make him blue or wearing a straight jacket without the straps.
Like this guy but ponified.
th03.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2012/151/d/c/dead_space_2___dr_foster_by_mrgameboy2011-d51qxlo.png
Would it be possible to read about Pinkie's misadventures on Earth (assuming that is what is really happening) ?
encrypted-tbn1.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQvB-DI8GvuREsSFEl5uK_RpJTR2VPpDW0VC7qZMYrPr-VDQLJJ
Loving the story, I really hope it has a happy ending.
But seriously, the first five chapters...I didn't laugh, smile, get angry or even upset.
I was depressed. The entire time.
If it were me, I'd probably do most of the same things. But as we all know, this isn't real.
...Right?
This story; I like it.
Did any of those stories you told actually or did you just make them up?
well i guess if anypony could get that timeshare thing to work out, it would be pinkie.
also, applejackxpinkieguy=otp
Braces filly Fluttershy if best Fluttershy.
th01.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2012/228/e/e/flutterbraces_by_fimvisible-d5baksk.png
It would be a cool twist if that is really Pinkie Pie.
1199426 That is adorable.
Pinkie-Guy is starting to act less like Pinkie Pie. But this story is still really funny.
1200916 meta fics are banned dude this needs to be taken out -_-
Needs more Cinnamon Swirl :u
Keep it up, I already can't look forward to the next chapter~
QUOTE: Or how Twilight had miscast a spell and accidentally summoned a horrendous creature from another dimension, all teeth and claws, which Celestia then subdued and now keeps as a pet. Apparently, she calls him "Fluffy-kins".