After countless years, Queen Chrysalis is freed from her stony prison to a much changed future. Confronted by an old foe who proposes a deal guaranteeing her a new life, Chrysalis faces an impossible choice:

Her freedom or her pride.

*Set many years after the epilogue of FIM*

Whenever Time Turner touches a pony, he knows how and when they are going to die.

This makes living a regular life rather difficult.

After learning how to drink, you do a bit too much of it, for you mostly do it alone.

Pain built from guilt is reduced by punishment.

There are many ways to deal with the pain from the punishment that comes from a drink. One can squeeze their eyes and clench their claws and shake through the shudders of alcoholic intensity. Or one exhales the punishment as it comes up, concentrating it out.

And that trick applies to more than just drinking.

After years of being the runt of the litter (despite having no siblings), Spike finally comes into his own and starts to grow up and mature. The result is a unique bit of magic all his own, or so the theory goes: He awakens one morning to find words hanging overhead that call him [The Gamer], along with powers that let him 'live life as though it were a game'.

How he decides to handle all of this, and where things go from there? That would be a spoiler, and you all know how we feel about spoilers around here...

Frequently asked questions will be answered from time to time, and those answers linked here for the curious:
The First FAQ

READ THIS INSTEAD

Has been republished ((again)) so I can submit other stories without waiting for the dreaded approval waiting time. Or I'm delusional, and that's not a thing. I was not. It really does work like that.

If you want to know why it was originally taken down, read the blog. ((Also my profile's comments. This shit is cringe))

244 likes 17 dislikes before the shameful snap I made ratings visible again 'cause ppl are still reading this for some reason.

New story of similar theme coming soon, so hold 'yer horses. But this time without the cringe. Hopefully.

Takes place in an alternate universe where princess Platinum, commander Hurricane and chancellor Puddinghead begrudgingly works together in threat of annihilation by the windigos to form Equestria without their advisor's intervention. However, not everything is sunshine and rainbows, as the desperate union continues to be plagued by ethnic strife between the three tribes, and constant border raids/skirmishes from their new neighbours begin to breed a culture of mistrust and paranoia.

One such raiders were the 'savage' eastern griffons; whose origins were hidden by the impassable eastern mountain ranges which cut the Equus continent into two. Wild tales and speculations came out of the mysterious eastern lands, as even the coasts were lined with mountains; seemingly to protect its vast riches from outsiders. Little did they know, the eastern lands did not hold vast riches nor fertile lands, but was a chaotic and violent collection of warlords, counties, dukedoms and kingdoms; all fighting for so long to the point that their original casus belli had been lost or forgotten due to time.

There was no creature in Equestria who could stabilise the isolated region; many griffons having fallen attempting to unite the vast lands. Luckily, the next ones wouldn't be Equestrian. (Yeah, you know where this is going)

Enter Bismarck and Mauser; the former having been forced into retirement by the boisterous Kaiser Wilhelm II, and the latter continuing to refine his rifle designs, and eventually witnessing his Gewehr 98 becoming the standard issued German rifle. The latter was a realist and an extremely gifted statesman; whilst the former was an inventor whose name would label the infamous "Mauser" small-arms company.

Can they unite the fractured eastern lands? Can they create a unifying identity to rally the apethtic citizenry? Can they fix the agricultural and economic strife? Can they turn their divided lands into a unified superpower? Of course they can.

* Erwin Rommel (Griffon)
* Winston Churchill (Changeling)
* Franklin D Roosevelt (Changeling)
* Queen Victoria (Changeling)

Disclaimer: First time writing. Writing on a phone. Harsh criticism is fine, just don't be unreasonable. Historical accuracy is thrown out the window to fit the narrative. Realism is also thrown out the window (goodbye immersion). Totally not a Gary Stu story with all the modern weapons (pretty much just a 'civilised' vs 'uncivilised' situation). The pony civilisation is not a fairy tale utopia. Lots of death. Research_all and add_equipment are used liberally. Victoria 2 (and hopefully soon Victoria 3) are referenced frequently (mostly in comments).

Cover art link: https://commons.m.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Otto_von_Bismarck_by_N.Repik.jpg
(The image is free to use, and requires no permission nor request to use) (If you're a dum-dum and asking if I made the cover art, "ofc I didn't make the covert art.")

Featured 06/27/21 ("The world must've gone terribly wrong for something like this to happen...")

TTS Reading of the entire fiction: Courtesy of the FanFiction Reader on Youtube.

Character List: Courtesy of TruthHut (A work in progress)

Handy is not a happy man at the best of times.

He was even less happy to find himself in an alien world that offended the very laws of physics and got injured for his own stubborn refusal to accept the obvious path fate had apparently laid out for him.

For his trouble he is now on a journey, with the long term goal of finding his way back home, only to find himself involved in plots and machinations so far above his head and cares that he quickly becomes a pawn in a game played by powers who care not for his well-being.

Quite like his life back on Earth if you think about it.

Needless to say, Handy does not care for any of it. He is much more preoccupied with the more immediate and pressing mundane concerns of day to day life a human needs to worry about while in Equestria.

Obtaining a new pair of shoes for example.

All this and one almighty hangover, what's the worst that could happen?

Rated teen for harsh language and minor violence

Proofread by JBL, Jude and Usurper

"In the beginning, there was nothing but all encompassing darkness that claimed all of existence within the void.
Yet even in this darkness, there was light.
A single speck of light that defied the shadows and slowly grew to encompass the known universe, bringing light to a once dark and dreary realm.
The being had wrested control from the void, yet it was not content.
With its power, it created the stars and planets that dot the seemingly infinite expanse of the universe.
This, was how the universe had truly come to be."
Creation of the universe according to the Church of Primis
Long ago, before the times of the princess's, the world stood divided. The father of the universe saw the hatred between the races of the planet, and sought to rectify his mistake of abandoning his creation, choosing to live amongst them once more.
This is where our story begins.

*Tags will be added as needed, or when the story. calls for it.*

Been featured like seven times now...wow, that's awesome, didn't think I'd even get it once.

This story is a sequel to I Am (No) God: Month 0

The Summer Sun Celebration 1000-Year Anniversary - an event that would forever change all of Equestria, as six average mares would soon become the heroes of Equestria... Except it isn't about them; this story resolves around a stallion who was present for such an event but not only had a role in it... but just... "appeared".

Destiny is a fickle thing, many believe fate happens, things happen... Some say there's a greater force in play that does the slightest actions to change our lives... So what happens when that very power is living just down the road.

Story Theme Song/Arc 1 OP: Don't Stop
Arc 2 OP: The Shield and the Sword

Timeline: https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/825197/i-am-no-god-timeline

Story Artwork: https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/894389/iang-art

Character Bios: (Direct Link) https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Rug4oFgvLCnZxrghCkOe389k3ty5gXa481jWj1SkXqY/edit?usp=sharing
(Blog Link) https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/900300/iang-update-data-inanis

Story Chronology: https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/1004596/iang-story-chronology

Updates: (08-24-18) Holy banana shakes, its only been seven hours and already this story got twelve likes, several people already added into their favorites, and I haven't even got to reach the third chapter... Who are you people and where is my usual readers?
(08-24-18) I GOT FEATURED! YEEEAAAHAAHAHAHA! And I whole lotta favorites, and one watch too; thank yeah all for enjoying this story!
Update (03-12-18) The new cover of IANG
(07-16-20) DAMN! WE GOT FEATURED AGAIN! Only took two bloody years and we got featured a second time!
(01-13-23) Ay yo shite! I got featured a third time after only posting my latest chapter, and the date too though could not have made it even better! HILARIOUS!
(11-24-23) Wow, I posted what is equivalent to a mini-chapter, and somehow I got featured... not going to lie, but whenever I seem to get back to posing is when I get featured... this needs some experimenting later.)
(04-11-24) Ohhh featured again, Noice.

Milestone: (25-08-18) 1000+ Total Views
(25-08-18) 50+ Total Likes - Just what the heck people, you're all making my heart beat more than usual, and I'm getting the shakes! THE SHAKES!
(02-09-18) 1000+ Views of the old original first chapter
(20-09-18) YES YEEEES YEAAAAAAS *kicks boombox to play music* 100 likes baby! *insane evil laughter*
(??-11-18) Reached 1000+ Views of the current first chapter... don't know what date, but yeah
(14?maybe-11-18) HOLY SNAP, I got to pay better attention... welp reached over 100+ likes, oh and reached 5000+ Total Views too
(25-05-19) Over 10,000+ Total Views, another record breaker!
(01-11-19) 15,000+ Total Views, let's keep wracking up that number even further!
(09-12-19) 200+ Likes, now we should reach 300.
(31-01-20) 18,000+ Total Views, WOOHOO!
(21-03-20) 20,000+ Total Views, awesome!
(16-09-20) 30,000+ Total Views, WE GETTING HIGHER AND HIGHER NOW!
(02-01-21) 35,000+ Total Views, the first milestone record for 2021! LET'S REACH 40,000!
(30-03-21) AH FREAKING YES! 40,000+ Total Views in just two months from the last milestone! GO BEYOND, 50K TOTAL VIEWS!
(29-05-21) 5,000+ Views on the first chapter, we've come a long way since then
(13-11-21) So I was a tad busy, but now I got the chance to check - WE REACHED 300+ Likes, GO BEYOND!
(03-02-22) By the deities, we've reached 50,000+ Total Views! Can we reach 75,000+ and BEYOND!?
(17-09-23) 75,000+ TOTAL VIEWS! TIME WE REACHED 100k!