Spike of All Trades

by Ariamaki

One if By Land: Part 18

"Observe."

Matching his hopes, Spike didn't just get a truncated bit of detail, but full-blown true-blue character sheets for both mares. It would take a bit of time and (externally) conversation in order to actually grasp it all without just staring at thin air, but he could multitask with the best of them!

"Pleased to meet you both! I'm Spike, the dragon, as you might have guessed."

Ardor's reply was enthusiastic, her voice surprisingly strong and mature, very deep for a mare.
"Naturally! We would hardly be citizens if we didn't recognize Equestria's sole dragon."

Lilac's tone was far drier and had a high lilt, and he noticed she wasn't even looking his direction.
"Of course we hardly are citizens regardless but that's for different reasons."

"Shush, Lolly. Never mind my companion: I'm sure it would be more polite to say forgive her, but I am also pretty sure that forgiving her never works."

Everypony else in the room chuckled at that: The guards probably because they appreciated the jab, but Spike laughed after he heard the older (maybe?) mare's nickname for her friend.
"I thought I recognized you: Can I guess that Fluttershy's told you two plenty about me already?"

Ardor clapped her hooves together with a grin.
"Yes! We've spoken a bit about your recent studies too, no details of course, but she did mention you were very interested in my work. I'm flattered by the way."

"Personally I think she's leaving out a lot of critical details like always, but we're good at reading between the lines."

He bit back a response, figuring that she was probably just trying to bait out a response. 'Disruptive guidance' kinda implied as much, and he wasn't exactly unfamiliar with the idea. Pinkie Pie did it all the time even if she didn't name it as such: Rattling somepony and knocking them off their current train of thought could help provide a new perspective once they got it back on the rails. As for why Lilac was so hostile about it... Well everypony's got their own methods, right?

"But social connections aside, I was told we'd be coming to the Palace today to discuss your part in Twilight Sparkle's current research into our... fields of expertise?"

"By which she means both of us being way too obsessed with the Princesses and anything related to their aspects."

Ardor shot her companion a dirty look.
"Really?"

Lilac flicked her mane at the other mare's face in response
"You brought me outside this early, you reap what you sow."

Spike let their argument continue in the background while he thought about those stats.

Ardor's spread made a lot of sense for a pegasus magical researcher who tried to use her existing talents to branch out: A strong mind and an extremely adaptable body, but not much attention paid to raw power or sustaining it. The poor Luck was less clear-cut, but wasn't anywhere near as bad as Applebloom's deficit had been. All in all she was clearly well-suited to her chosen career and could probably handle herself very well in a race with anypony save a Wonderbolt.

Meanwhile Lilac was scary. Even if he buffed up she'd be able to take him on in a close-quarters fight with Strength like that, and she had the Vitality to keep chugging for a while. Most concerning was that she now took second place for the highest Intelligence he'd ever seen, behind Twilight of course. Significantly solid Luck rounded out a strong package, although in practice she might be held back by her lack of flexibility, and her Wisdom... well, he was seeing the results right now.

Once there was a gap in the slowly-brewing shouting match between the two mares (he could tell it was friendly from their smiles and bearing, but it was still kinda funny) he interjected again.

"I really do have to thank you both again for showing up on such short notice: Given what you said about yourself in your dust jacket blurb, I can't imagine you're in Canterlot often or for long."

The larger mare rolled her eyes.
"Oh, the publisher keeps me from updating that: Have to maintain the appearances and all. I do technically still call Cloudsdale home, but only in that my family is there. I operate out of Canterlot these days, and my travels have been getting shorter and shorter."

"If only because she won't let us do anything interesting lately."

The last chunk of their character sheets was identical, shared between them: The history block wasn't visible at all, but the Skills section...

Ardor flapped a wing out as if trying to swat her friend, although it fell far short.
"Would it kill you to be slightly less... yourself?"

"Literally speaking, yes: If I weren't myself then who exactly would I be? Entry-level philosophy student bait aside, as far as I am concerned the real Lilac would be dead then."

"Oh my sweet Celestia, please Lilac, we are not trying to start a fight today."

The smaller mare smirked and giggled to herself before leaning back in her chair.
"Aren't we?"

OK, there was bait and then there was stuff too good not to take: Spike had to jump on that.
"Well hey, all that aside? You two do seem like you might be qualified to help me with what I'm working on."

Ardor winced. That had hit the mark dead on, and Lilac turned her gaze to him slowly.

"Seem? Might? HELP? If I didn't know any better I'd call that a challenge or even an insult."

He raised one claw up over the table and breathed a wave of green fire across the tips.
"I mean somepony was just talking about trying to start a fight..."

For a little extra emphasis, he slipped into the 'spirit of battle' with his Nascent Combat Discipline. The reactions were all immediate and honestly hilarious: Gibbous and Zenith had both been staying out of the argument between the two mares, quietly talking to themselves on the side. They sprang to attention instantly once they felt the change in the air. Lilac Lack started laughing even more as if it were some kind of joke, and Ardor Ray...

Ardor looked at him coldly for the first time, slowly settling into a smile with a wicked edge to it.
"So it's like that, is it Mr. Dragon?"

Spike shrugged.
"I mean I don't think we're supposed to actually fight in here, but I definitely recognize that we might have common ground to work from. Aren't professionals supposed to do trust-building exercises during meetings like this?"

The guards cleared their throats and stood up. Gibbous spoke for them both as they quickly made their way towards the exit.
"We're just going to keep an eye out for disruptions on the outside of this room, where there's a wall in between us and whatever happens next, yeah? Yeah. Bye!"

Zenith, however, got in the last word before the door slammed shut behind them.
"Plausible deniability if anything gets broken. I trust you all to avoid permanent injuries."

Ardor and Lilac exchanged an extremely brief glance before looking back to him. He watched with a fascinated hum as both of them tensed briefly, closing their eyes... When they opened them again he caught the slightest glimpse of a change in the colors, perhaps reflections from the light? The bigger and more obvious change was in the tone of the room, suddenly torn between an oppressive heat on one side and a deathly chill on the other, with him caught in the middle.

Over the heads of both mares, he was almost glad to see something unrecognizable again: It was always good to learn things, even if it had to be the hard way.

Spike heaved out a sigh, entirely for show.
"So yeah, I guess that is half of what I want to ask... But the other half is about the Benedictions. How do we want to handle this?"

Lilac licked her lips in a truly unsettling way, staring at him in an entirely different way than the few and brief glances from before.
"If I had my say of things I'd give up a bit of information for each hit you could take before I beat you into the floor."

Ardor's appearance was far more aloof, almost as if the two of them had changed personalities. But instead of a bitter cold distance, this was a haughty and regal authority.
"Since you do not have your say of things, I propose we take the path that minimizes damage to the castle we both so dearly adore."

"If only you'd stop dressing up your obsession in such pretty words, maybe I'd stop mocking it."

"And if only you'd have good ideas maybe I would actually listen to them for once in my whole life."

Spike raised both of his hands in the silence that followed.
"Don't look at me! I didn't even know Princess Celestia was going to be getting outsiders involved, much less two... esteemed persons like yourselves."

The pair laughed at that, Ardor's giggle strangely high and sharp while Lilac's chuckles were low and throaty. The earth pony turned her gaze back onto him, staring, until she heaved her own sigh.

"Big questions for a whelp your age. I know Sparkle hatched you, so you can't have been around long enough to know about any of this stuff first-hoof. Why the sudden interest? And no, unlike my stellar companion I do not buy that Ms. Twilight's suddenly developed a new avenue of research."

He took a little offense at the jab about his age... but only a little. She was right after all.
"Well you can tell I do have my own experience with half of it. As for the other question, let's just call it... aspirational. I've got Princess Celestia's backing for it. I mean, she wouldn't have sent for you two otherwise right?"

Ardor went to agree with him, already nodding before she spoke, until Lilac cut them both off.
"HAH, experience. If I called that little bit of presence 'experience' then I'd be ashamed of myself. I would answer any question you asked about the Benedictions if you could actually impress me..."

She left that statement hanging, seeing no need to elaborate. Spike wouldn't have expected any less from a pony who specialized in 'disruptive guidance'. It meant she was probably trying to help even if she went about it in a pretty... well, disruptive way.