- Member Since 30th Jun, 2013
- offline last seen Yesterday
Coronet the lesser
"Writing is easy. All you do is stare at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead." ~Gene Fowler
Coronet the lesser
Joined 30th Jun, 2013 ·
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A last Cruelty.
MAKE Twilight kill her.
Why must we leave this story as a decision for the audience?
Very nicely done
10964575
So everybody can have it as grimdark or as sunshine as they want.
A life in chains is no life at all. Death before disgrace.
Edit: besides, "conceive to bring harm"? what does that mean? Assault, psychological turmoil, gaslighting, distressing truths, making a filly sad because you don't like the color of her bow? If she can't even conceive of doing something that might harm someone she'd be at the mercy of those around her! That spell would core out her soul in the process of erasing every part of her that identifies or seeks advantage or opportunity, the choice is death or death.
Edited edit: come to think of it, considering that she would (rightfully) think of this geas as slavery of the worst sort, and further factoring the existential danger it presents to her mind and soul, that self-defense clause might just instantly short the whole thing out. That'd be amusing.
Last thought: involuntary lichdom, or just dying and being revived, or possibly even just being "legally dead" for a few moments, would also free her.
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I like to think a part of the reason the story is a drama is that the decision is unknown. It heightens the tension related to Chrysalis’s conflict within herself. I also like to think It’s the perspective of wider world seeping in, outside of Twilight and Chrysalis who would actually know her fate?
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Thank you!
The “conceive of” bit gets to me. You can’t really expect Chrysalis not to spend time contemplating taking down Equestria in the initial days after her release. How she’d rule it or go about it. It’s one thing to bind her actions, but it seems like a bridge too far to bind her thoughts. She might be more amenable to taking the oath if Twilight’s terms left her room to have her little revenge fantasies.
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This is partly my legal background accidentally slipping through. I probably should have phrased it as conspire instead. The oath would not bind her thoughts but rather to her physical and spoken actions. The reason I used conceive was to cover the base with regards to Chrysalis using a third party to enact her revenge. People forget for the purpose of this story, Chrysalis is a dangerous narcissistic megalomaniac. She'll try and find loopholes.
Harm in this instance would not be something as mundane as shouting or insulting at someone, harm is a far more damaging action such as gaslighting or psychological torture as you mentioned. Once again this is to prevent Chrysalis using her voice to bypass the stone.
Also self-preservation has broad meaning towards her own well-being.
Edit: I'll probably consider making a change with regards to conceive as conspire better reflects the intention of the text.
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There is no practical way any sort of geas actually works out unless it actually works based on intent rather than wording as there's too many edge cases.
Otherwise she seems to be making a bigger deal out of this than it is, equestria isn't the world and everyone isn't equestrias friend or ally so she can just leave equestria and go do whatever she wants, she can take over some other country or whatever.
Personally i'd have liked to have both endings.
Ending 1. Chrysalis insults twilight stating she'd rather be dead than give up on revenge and twilight says something about she's sorry she feels that way and kills her on the spot.
Ending 2. Chrysalis takes the oath and walks out the door and we time skip to her at doughnut joes a few days later lamenting about how everything's changed, everyone she ever knew is dead and she can't even think about revenge and donut joe the 7th is just like "there there everything will be alright" and chrysalis is just sitting there wailing into her coffee.
Bonus ending. Chrysalis takes the oath and walks out the door and we time skip to her a few years later instructing her new army on how they are going to take over "country name here" by invading during the wedding of "character name here" and "2nd character name here" maybe she wins and gets most everything she ever wanted or maybe history repeats and someone else gives her a stern talking to.
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And here we discover the wonderful world of intent in contract-drafting. Interpretation is such a subtle thing, and that's just with us sticking to a literal reading of the text. If the geas is literal, then it's adressance to "Queen Chrysalis, queen of the Changelings" may cause issue in the event that she sheds that identity. Or to put it another way, if she somehow lost her memory and took the name Lucky Cricket or summat, would the geas follow? And then there's all the loopholes one might or might not ferret out of the rest of the wording.
On the other hand, if it is intent based, then whose intent governs the spell? Chrysalis? Twilight? A neutral third party? The geas itself? One man's harm is another's entertainment, I don't like leaving such things open to interpretation.
I liked this even though I don't like the ending. To me it's like those choose your own adventure books where I always got the bad ending. I'd like to think Chrysalis chose Life. Because where there's life there is Hope. I'd have preferred her to come to the right conclusion without coercion because she isn't stupid. Still, I liked your story and its execution even if it's open ended. Have a like and a favorite because it does make you think and consider what would Chrysalis do in this instance/reality/section of the multiverse?
Chrysalis is best villain. I honestly wish she had gotten a warrior's death. She earned it after that final lunge.
A situation for which there quite literally are no good solutions.
Perhaps oddly, there is a part of me that can't help but see this as a commentary on the present process on much of the world, or at least in the United States: Either you die, you remain incarcerated forever, or you rejoin society with the exercise of your rights permanently interfered with.
Chrissy kinda dumb. I came up with several potential ways to bypass the geas while reading this but she’d really rather be that stubborn huh
Decently written, but I really dislike "and the reader must decide how it ends" type of stories.
"Frodo stood over the fiery mouth of Mount Doom, torn between wearing the One Ring and destroying it. Suddenly his grimace turned into a smile, he knew what to do. The End."
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I can understand why people dislike the ending. I knew I couldn't really satisfy both sides of the argument. My intention was to illustrate Chrysalis coming to terms with the death of her ambitions and her own unenviable situation.
I think had I wrote either ending for Chrysalis it would have felt relatively anti-climatic. The drama comes from the tension of not knowing because both arguments have their merits and I'm glad people are coming to their own views on that, because it helps the reader conceptualize how they would react in Chrysalis's place. Glad you enjoyed it though!
Damnit, a one shot actually made it into y five star list. Sigh
This is went I don’t read one shots, because eventually I found something I’l like, like this, I like it, then I suffer know it’s the end with nothing else ahead.
Whhy?! Why must you make this story so good ?
I liked the story and I liked the ending, but I can see where people have problems with the Geas - like Wishes, they're really hard to construct without being open to lots of loopholes and reinterpretation.
sadge
10965372
Meh.
Whether you realize this or not, this is also generated from your legal background.
Offer debate and guidance, but ultimately - someone else, whether judge or jury - makes the actual decision...
Alright "story" for what it was, but a piece without an ending is no story.
Still. I'll give it a like.
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I mean the story does have an ending, it may not be one you like and I don’t answer every question but it does have an ending. Cliffhangers do exist. Thanks for the like!
Cliffhangers indicate a continuation of a story, not the end.
Hope you improve, Keep writing!
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Thanks!
Chrysalis is a creature of pride. And a prideful person knows it's better to die on there feet then live on ones knees.
Season 9 was trash, especially the finale. Fanfics about it won't make it better.
Full credit to you, the thought of her end being the death of her race and their history is legitimately the only thing I can see giving Chrysalis pause.
She either had Twilight execute her, or took the oath and then promptly ended her life on her own terms.
the story has an interesting concept, but a disappointing ending. It's not even about the fact that the reader has to think out the ending himself (I really don't like such stories without a logical end), here the situation itself seems sad and hopeless. I don't see a happy ending.
Chrysalis lost everything she had, she now has nothing, most of those whom she hated are also most likely dead, she does not know what she is giving up because she does not know another way of life, and this oath takes away the last thing she has left - "freedom will ".
Even if she would agree to the deal, this Reformation would not be her deliberate choice and you cannot call it a happy life. (However, it would be interesting to see how Chrysalis would try to find loopholes to break the chains of the contract).
So, in my opinion, most likely Chrysalis will refuse to take an oath that will either lead to the execution of Chrysalis, or it will be turned to stone again and this story will repeat itself.
I love it!
Hm Chrys has just to start being creative in what is a menace to her...
Like Florence Ambrose says in Freefall a perfectly functional Three Laws robot can attack a human if this human is a danger to other humans... and a human is using air that lung compromised humans desperately needs...
Twilight: "You never change."
Surprise, surprise: people turned into stone or trapped in small cages in Tartarus don't have much room to improve.
This is why I hate Twilight! She doesn't spare anyone unless they agree to follow her standards! In this story, she didn't wanted to set Chryssie free, she only released her from the statue because she wanted to enslave her and brainwash her with friendship like she did to Sunset Shimmer, and that makes Twilight a hypocrite AND a tyrant! She was no different than Celestia!
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I would say that she gave her a choice. That is far more than what a tyrant would give someone.
11125839
I'm impressed. It takes above average amounts of troll power to victimize a criminal of Chryssi's caliber.
"Swear not to deliberately bring harm to others and you may walk free." Surely the one demanding such an unreasonable oath is the true villain here^^.
Hmmm ... sacrifice her pride and hatred for the unknown or pick the option she knows would hurt Twi to some extent and go out as a proud queen ...
I think regardless of how torn she seems for a moment there, her personality heavily favors one of the possible outcomes.
Edit: I just realized during my re-read, there isn't any proof for Twilight's explanation/justification. Yes, we know that she is absolutely capable of killing a villain without hesitation or remorse, the threat isn't empty per se, but there's no proof that this really is the bug queen's final hearing.
(Twi would also be the first to point out the difference between not saving the Storm King, killing Sombra in a direct confrontation between mages ... and executing a prisoner)
The transcripts may not be completely fake but they could still be heavily edited. And what is more likely: Chryssie conveniently suppressing her own memories out of denial? Completely? Every time? ... or Twilight erasing those memories? Chryssie is dangerous, no question; but without a hive, as a single individual, she is far less of a threat to Equestria as a whole than Starlight was. A villain who turned out to be redeemable and became not only her first protegee but even one of her closest friends. Twi can be extremely stubborn. She believes in the scientific method, she believes in the value of statistics. The bug refusing her offer once is statistically irrelevant and Twi knows from experience how a single detail can change a situation, a person's outlook, fate and even history itself.
This might be Chryssie's personal reformation 'time-loop' and Twi is the one looking for the missing piece that'll let her break free. The open death threat might just be one data point on Twi's mental clipboard.
I'm not saying this is the ideal approach. There's clearly an element of cruelty to what I now believe Twi is doing here; in addition to the already questionable morality and effectiveness of petrification.
I'm just saying I don't believe she intends to end Chryssie, even if she does choose dying with dignity over getting defanged. Or this is the end of that process and Twi is dead serious after all. Who knows. That's the ugly beauty of open ended stories.