• Published 2nd May 2021
  • 4,885 Views, 752 Comments

The Iron Chancellor - Radical Centrist



Otto Von Bismarck (Unifier of Germany) and Paul Mauser (Inventor of the standard issued rifle of Germany) are thrown into a post-Windigo Equestria as Griffons. How will the early-medieval civilisations change with these Victorian era imperialists?

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Cutie marks are common with free time

"How ya hanging squirt?" Nina nudged Green, who was standing next to her, on top of the railings leading down the hatch. It had been several hours since their departure following the river, and the pony seemed conflicted in being overly grateful or extremely concerned. Sure, they were heading to their parents now, but they might have done something drastic to find them back. Green hated it, but he had to hope that their parents had given up on them.

"Still concerned huh? I got to say, you ponies are the easiest to read." Nina chuckled, as Green seemed offended, but embarrassed at the same time, which was somehow being perfectly displayed by his facial expressions.

"Maybe read the books you brought with you with Little, it will distract you for the duration of our travel." Nina pointed downwards, gesturing Green to drop.

"I guess..." Green slowly descended from the hatch, but before fully entering the interior, he turned back up to meet Ninas' eyes. "Thank you... For everything you have done and will do..." He stated with conviction, and filly retreated from the hatch.

Nina, after making sure Green was gone looked beyond the horizon and said; "Atta boy..."


"A-Pe-Pe-L-E," Little spelled out loud, which made Harold cringe due to the mispronunciation.

"It's 'P' not 'Pe'" Harold corrected, as he leaned over to see Little looking at a picture of an apple.

"Z-E-B-R-A!" Little said, which made Harold nod in approval. "Ha-O-U-Ss" Little said confused, as she couldn't find the 'Ha' letter anywhere in the book. She also knew that there was an 'E' at the end, making her pronunciation wrong.

"Harold, you might want to stop babysitting and look forward," Albert said whilst leaning forward and zooming into the distance with his eyes.

"What is it?" Harold pushed up a flap and scanned the horizon.

"Right in front. Everyone get on this," the rest of the crew followed, Jack looking through the sight and Nina popping out the hatch.

They spotted a large mound in front of them, an unnatural feature in the present terrain, and for some reason it was unsettling.

"What? It's just a pack a lot dirt." Gelde dismissed, and relaxed.

"Why is it there though?" Albert pondered, "What could have made a mound like that?"

"I don't think that's a mound..." Harold evaluated, as it was too round to be formed naturally.

"It's moving..." Nina realised, as the mound was rising and falling like it was breathing. "Put down the flaps!" Nina acted quickly and shut the hatch immediately, her crew did as ordered, but was confused by the sudden tension.

The ground began to shake, however, the tanks' weight held it down firmly and prevented it from being flung like the dirt around them. The mound before them exploded with bits of rocks and soil, and from within a giant worm emerged with teeth that lined its entire throat.

"AHHHHH! WHAT IS THAT THING?!" Harold screamed, retracting from his seat and away from the sight.

The worm coiled mid-air and looked to lunge at the foreign object that had entered its range. The worm hesitated at first, as its usual prey of vibrant colours was replaced by a metallic-bland box. The vibrations from the object made the worm think it was a large wagon carrying delectable prey, but the thing before it was nothing like it. Normally he would let bizarre things pass, but he had been starving for a meal. Normally thirsty ponies and griffons would go near the river to drink or collect water, but lately, he had sensed no prey for a long time. This was its lucky break and was relieved to sense fear radiating from the object, as it could smell the unmistakable sweat of terror.

Green looked terrified by the surrounding tension, but Little broke down in tears. Gelde scrambled to his seat whilst Jack held onto the turret, trying not to fall from the shaking. Albert immediately stomped the brakes and began reversing. Harold lunged back forward to mount the machine gun and Nina peered at the gaps on the closed hatch to order the gunner.

The crews' discipline held firm, despite Harolds' momentary panic, and began to aim at the lunging worm.

"ANYTIME NOW JACK! IT'S GONNA GET US!" Albert shouted, still reversing futilely away from the approaching worm.

"THE LOUDER YOU SHOUT, THE SLOWER I'LL GO!" Jack frustratingly barked back, Gelde at her side with a shell ready to load immediately after firing. Jack began to centre the crosshair on the worms' gaping mouth, which was so large that she could see the stomach pass the rows of teeth.

Just as Jack had the perfect shot, Harold sabotaged it by riddling the worm with holes from his machine gun, which made the worm recoil and clench its maw. Jack realised the shot was ruined, but she had already pulled the trigger. The turret roared.

The tank suddenly became covered in blood, the sound of blood and teeth splattering on the tank like hail. Nina cringed in her observation, as the glass that lined the gaps on the hatch became unusable by the blood covering it.

A chunk of the worms' neck underneath its mouth was blown off into bits of meat and teeth, which landed in the nearby river and lined the ground around it. The worm still frailed in the air, as the muscle began to stretch erratically even in its death, its head limped backwards, the remaining threads of tissue from the neck preventing its decapitation.

Another roar from the turret echoed, as Jack fired off another round blind, which finally ripped off the head of the worm in a shower of blood. The headless worm then plummeted backwards, its exposed neck spilling warm blood into the nearby river.

After a long period of silence, Nina opened the hatch to observe any damages to the tank. She cringed again when the blood from the hatch dripped onto her head.

"Ewwww..." Nina shivered, "Thank God I wasn't wearing my hat" She thought, as she had given it to Little to calm her down, but the oversized hat acted more like a blanket to her small frame.

"Nina! Close that hatch now! The blood is going to leak through!" Albert warned, which made Nina close the hatch.

"We're going to have to wash the tank... Thank God we have a river nearby." Jack said, rising from her seat.

"Wait, wait, wait, don't try to divert the attention, Jack!" Gelde angrily held Jack down.

"What? What's wrong?" Jack became confused, as she was pressed onto his seat.

"Don't try to act confused! You know what you did!" Gelde accused,

"What did I... Ohhhhh... The no cleanup promise..." Jack realised, "Ughh... Fine, I'll clean up for you." Jack didn't really mind doing extra work, but couldn't believe how petty Gelde was.

"No! Not that! You shouted!" Gelde pointed at Jack to draw everyone attention, but they had all already left to clean the tank, which only left Green and Little with them, but the ponies ignored them, too invested in the book.

"What..?" Jack muttered in bewilderment.

"You can't even squeak properly! But you just shouted!" Gelde looked betrayed,

"Yes, so?" Jack asked boredly.

"YES SO?! YOU WERE SHYER THEN A MOUSE IN THE BARRACKS!" Gelde stomped the ground angrily, as he remembered a time when he had to speak on Jacks' behalf multiple times.

"Well... This isn't the barracks and you all know me, so there's nothing to get wrong." Jack shrugged, as he was only 'shy' when talking to superiors or strangers.

Gelde leaned back, and begin to think. "So... I won't need to speak for you?" He hoped.

Jack pointed her claws together in shame and blushed heavily, looking away. "" Sorry... But no..."

Gelde deflated in annoyance and whacked his head against the turret whilst groaning, which created a slight bump on his head. "Urgh..." He muttered, half pain and half tiredness.

"Oi! Get your lazy ass out here and help us!" Albert screamed down the hatch, which made Green and Little tilt their heads in confusement.

"Ass?" Green asked out loud,

"Another word for flank," Jack answered, and promptly climbed out the tank. Gelde begrudgingly followed, his head still visibly bumped.


"A small question Jack," Gelde asked, grabbing another chunk of cloud and descending it.

"Is this another stupid question?" Jack amusingly asked, grabbing clouds and dropping them as well. "You have to learn to think before talking Gelde." She instructed.

"Why do you have a guys' name?" Gelde asked, which made Jack freeze immediately and stop working.

Jacks' eyes visibly shrank as if recalling a past trauma, which made Gelde retract in surprise and guilt.

"Oh! Sorry, did I hit a cord?" Gelde asked worryingly and stopped working to support Jack with a claw.

"No, no... It's fine. Even I don't know the answer to your question..." Jack resumed, breaking out of her trance. "Maybe they wanted a boy and named me before I was born, or was just not creative..."

"Bad parents huh?" Gelde let go of Jack, resuming his work.

"... What brought this on?" Jack asked Gelde, as she continued working as well.

"Glad you asked, 'cause back when I joined and saw your name as my bunkmate, I was scared that you'll beat me up!" Gelde narrated, which made Jack slightly cringe.

"Why would I beat you up?" Jack asked hesitantly,

"Look, I was frail and 'Jack' sounds like a tough-guy name, anyways! My parents had always told me that gifts would disarm bullies! So I prepared a cake to befriend him!- or in this case- her!" Gelde continued,

"Oh yeah... You tripped and hit me with the cake jerk!" Jack crossed her arms and glared at Gelde, who simply rubbed his neck in embarrassment.

"Yeah... Sorry about that... But I never got to ask, why'd you cry so hard?" Gelde asked casually, not knowing that he had just reignited Jacks' trauma.

"..." Jack remained quiet, contemplating if she should tell or not, whilst working faster to distract herself from the tension.

"I mean... If you don't want to tell, I underst-" But then, Gelde was suddenly cut off by Jacks' sad reply.

"-Bullies..." Jack vulnerably muttered, beaks starting to twitch slightly.

"Bullies? Oh! Making fun of your name! Want me to knock their teeth out?" Gelde jokingly offered, cracking his claws.

"... It's not only that... But my parents as well..." Jack sank into one of the clouds, sprawling herself onto its soft surface.

"... What about your parents?" Gelde flew over and lied next to Jack, both now looking up into the sky.

"... They except so much from me... I just want it to stop..." Jack said, holding back tears.

"What...? Why?" Gelde rose and looked at Jacks' trembling eyes.

"I'm the eldest, with no brothers carrying the prestige of Moritz." Jack solemnly stated, eyes closed with tears leaking.

"Holy shit." Gelde retracted, "MORITZ?! THE NOBLE FAMILY?! WHY IS SHE IN A LOWLY TANK SQUAD?!" Gelde screamed internally, as the Moritz nobility and many others were created by Emperor Bismarck to facilitate professionalism, prestige and honour into German society, rewarding brilliant generals and industrialists with noble titles to immortalise and push their descendants into success. "W-why can't they y'know pop out more?" Gelde bit his tongue, as he implied Jack was replaceable, which meant he just insulted a noble.

"They tried. 11 of them were busts. They changed my name afterwards." Jack muttered depressingly, still facing the sky.

"... Why didn't you tell us this?" Gelde asked the limp griffon. "Why... Didn't you tell me?" Gelde asked as if hurt.

"What do you care? Nobody cares..." Jack said, wiping away her tears poorly with her limp arms.

"But... I'm your friend!" Gelde reasoned,

"Friend?! BUT YOU HATE ME! You always groan and sigh whenever I'm around! You never listen to what I say! You only care about yourself!" Jack rebutted furiously, spinning herself up and lunging at Gelde with surprising speed.

Gelde and Jack rolled on the cloud, Gelde having blocked her lunge. "STOP! I don't hate you, Jack!" Gelde pleaded as he grappled Jack and held her on the ground, using his weight and arms to hold her down.

"YES, YOU DO! WHO CAN LIKE A SHY DISSAPOINTMENT LIKE ME?!" Jack cried even louder but was unheard by the crew below, due to their altitude.

"YOU AREN'T A DISSAPOINTMENT!" Gelde shouted at Jacks' face, and slapped her, shutting her up.

"I never hated you, Jack, if I did, I would have left ages ago, leaving to join another squad. I listen to what you say, but I don't fix them because it makes you talk! I remember a time when you couldn't even correct me when I wore my shirt backwards! I care about you! I groan and sigh because it makes you feel better about yourself! Opens you up more to our crew! I- I love you..." Gelde released Jack and became surprised as to what he let slip.

"You... Love me?" Jack asked in disbelief, her arms still firmly stapled in the cloud.

"YES! I love you so much to that point of self-neglect! I love everything about you goddammit! I LOVE Y- MFFFF!" Geldes' wide-open beak was suddenly invaded by the griffonesses' tongue, and their beaks met. Just as fast as it did, it departed, and Gelde stood frozen, still standing over the kisser.

"My name was Jill if you're wondering." The griffon formerly known as Jack said, pecking Geldes' face one last time before diving into the cloud, leaving Gelde standing over a hole in the cloud.

Geldes' face began to blush a heavy red, as he began to process what had happened. When he finally did, he looked back down to see Ja- I mean Jill had disappeared. "I got her mom... I got her... He thought, as he had fulfilled the promise which he made to his mom during her final moments. Gelde began to tear up but was still heavily blushing.


"Soooo... You're Jill now?" Albert asked whilst wiping the drivers' sight.

"I was always Jill, so no." Jill corrected, retrieving several buckets of paint from the tank.

"Okay, how bout' Jill-turned-Jack-turned-Jill?" Albert smugly replied, which made Jill scoff in his childishness. "... What are you doing with the paint though? Also why was it in the tank?!" Albert worryingly asked as it was forbidden for common soldiers to decorate their tanks, which was reserved for the aces or nobility to distinguish themselves out from the common soldiery.

Jill simply grinned at this, and ignored him, landing next to the guns' turrets to begin painting.

"Ja- I mean Jill, I know we're outside the militarys' jurisdiction, but returning with permanent paint on our tank might get us sacked. I mean, I know our chances are slim but this seems a little too early." Nina said as Jill began to grab the brushes to decorate the turrets.

Jill simply grinned at her too and stood on top of the tank as if to perform. "Tell me, Nina on who the rules apply to." Jill playfully asked.

"You mean... The decoration rules? Then I guess the titless soldiers." Nina answered, which made Jills' smile grow larger.

"Then we are safe," Jill stated, which made everyone except Gelde confused.

"She's the eldest of the Mortiz nobility, with no sons," Gelde said with a shrug, but inside he was trying not to squeal giddily like a child being with a celebrity.

Everyone froze, (except Green and Little who are still trying to learn) and looked at Gelde, then Jill, then Gelde again.

"N-n-nobility?! For this long?!" Harold squeaked,

"MORITZ?!" Nina screamed, she had heard of their exploits in a siege once, and their reputation, just like all the other nobility was legendary.

"... I don't believe you..." Albert said sceptically, as who wouldn't be suspicious if someone said a shy, withdrawn corporal who manned an unnamed tank crew was a noble.

Jill simply puffed her chests in pride and withdrew a badge of the Moritz nobility from under her coat to the griffons before her.

Harold fainted, Ninas' eyes twitched in disbelief, Gelde chucked by their reactions whilst Albert raised an eye.

"Impressive..." Albert determined, whilst scratching the underneath of his beak.

"Oh dang! How am I supposed to ask them what to put now!" Jill pouted.


"Why can't we go outside and look?" Little complained to Green, as they were told by the griffons to stay to not be 'grossed out'.

"We might vomit seeing... That thing... Outside, especially by the amount of blood everywhere..." Green told Little. He was no stranger to blood, having seen ponies cut themselves or packs of timberwolves abduct even the stallions into the bushes, only to be discovered later, only bones remaining with the trail soaked with blood. It made him shudder slightly.

"I guess... At least we got these books with us!" Little shook her book, which was a quarter done. The two ponies were learning pretty quickly, especially with 5 guardians nearby who were willing to teach them.

They both now knew the basics, however had some difficulties in grabbing their pencils with their hooves. When they tried to use their mouth, the griffons freaked out and told them it was 'unhygienic' and 'improper' to use pencils like that, so they kept using their hooves. It took ages, but they finally got used to it, able to write properly and in cursives as well.

"Green? Little? Could I ask you something?" Jill popped down from the hatch and asked the immersed ponies.

"Mhmm?" Little hummed in acknowledgment, whilst Green nodded.

"We are thinking of decorating and naming our tank while we make food, any suggestions?" Jill asked,

"Decorating?" Green and Little asked and looked at each other. "We never had the time to decorate anything..." Green thought, as he remembered how every minute was a life-and-death struggle. "I always wanted to decorate things!" Little squeed mentally, and wore a wide grin which made Jill smile in return.

"It doesn't have to be pretty, just do whatever you want." Jill ensured, "Better yet if it looks terrible, it could piss lieutenant Dickhead off. Jill thought, chuckling to herself. "Come on, you can get out now."

Both ponies climbed out, the smell of blown bits and blood still present, which made them both cringe. However, the carcass of the worm had been pushed by the crew into the river downstream, and the water from the rain clouds had washed up all the blood nearby. However, there were still some noticeable red smudges in the grass remaining.

"Here are your tools, every colour of paint if you mix them correctly, all different sizes of brush, so you can decorate with your hearts' content!" Jill announced happily, "So you ponies get busy while we make us all food." Jill flew off, joining her crew nearby the river, leaving the two ponies starting at the open buckets and brushes.

"Just like that? They really don't care how much we mess this up?" Green asked in disbelief, as at one point, they could have fun and decorate, but the responsibility of the task was terrifying.

"She did it didn't have to be pretty!" Little enthusiastically relayed, grabbing a giant brush and dipping it into the paint, splattering some onto her as well.

Green tried to tell her to slow down, but Little had already begun coating the tank with paint, at which point he shrugged and grabbed a smaller brush, filling in any gaps which Little missed.

"Are you sure those kids are up to it?" A worried Harold asked Jill,

"Yeah, I don't want my tank screwed" Nina concurred, glaring at Jill.

"I'm sure they will be fine," Jill assured her crew. "BURN! BURN! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Gelde bonked Jills' head and glared at her.

"What?" Jill asked Gelde confused.

"You know what you did," Gelde affirmed, which made Jill pout.


"Alright... A little more detail on the windigo..." Green evaluated, after stepping backwards to check his work. The two ponies were so immersed in their painting that they did not realise their immense progress or how much of a masterpiece their work was. What they had created was an artwork that depicted the windigos and earth ponies clashing, the sides being split vertically, with the pony side facing away the turret and the windigos coming from the turret. It was only possible through the foreign paint and impeccable brushes.

"Alright ponies! Dinners' rea- Woah..." Harold recoiled, dropping immediately to the ground to marvel at their work. "H-how? What? Huh?!" Harold attempted to figure out how the ponies were able to do it so fast, he reminded himself that magic existed but it still made no sense.

Green waved a hoof over his eyes, which was still glued on the details of the artwork, "I think we broke him." Green told Little, who also joined Green in waving at his eyes.

"Who wants some delicious worm soup~?" Gelde jokingly mused, pushing a trolley up the small incline to present to the ponies. "...Seriously? No reactions? What ar-," Gelde stood, also frozen looking at the tank, going through the same reaction as Harold did. This was allowed up by Nina and Jill, except the former looked ecstatic and the latter disappointed at first, but then both decreased into the same state as Harold and Gelde.

"Why'd you guys stop? Is the tank a mess or something?" Albert appeared, but instead of looking forward, he looked back first to look at his crews' expressions. Then traced their view to the painted tank. "Woah, that's pretty cool." He remarked, "Y'know I had little faith in you ponies, but you are looking to be fine artists!" Albert said, completely undeterred unlike the rest of his crew, which made the ponies stare in disbelief at the unreactive griffon. "Also, what's on your flank?" Albert pointed at the Greens' flank, which now had an artists' palette with the three primary colours splotched on it and Littles' flank which had a French Bonnet and a brush that had strokes of the rainbow.

"OUR CUTIE MARKS!" The ponies both squealed excitedly, and began jumping around wildly in celebration, which finally snapped the crews' trance.

"Your cutie- what now?" Albert asked boredly, playing with his claws.

"WE GOT ONE! WE GOT ONE!" Green and Little both bounced around the griffons happily, quickly accelerating into impossible speeds, which made the crew dizzy as their eyes failed to lock onto them.

"Hang on." Both ponies suddenly stopped, throwing dirt everywhere, making the griffons cough as it entered their lungs.

"The brush and colours we get, but what are these?" Green pointed at the palette whilst Little pointed at the Bonnet and they both began examining each other's cutie marks.

"Green, you have a palette, which is something an artist uses to hold colours. Little, you have a Bonnet, which is something an artist wears... For some reason, I don't know but our Emperors told us to put it into our etiquettes." Albert shrugged, still wondering why their artists had to wear bonnets.

"*cough* *cough* hang- *cough* on! First off, what in Tartarus is a cutie mark?!" Harold demanded, still coughing up dirt.

"Oo! Oo! I know! I know! It's supposed to show our destiny! And our special talent!" Little enthusiastically explained, remembering what their elder had told them what cutie marks were. But from what they had heard, they were extremely rare, and most ponies would die not finding them. Except for the unicorns, who had ample time to figure out their marks and fate were, but it wasn't all good, as some who discovered a useless cutie mark would be cast out of their family and labelled a disgrace.

"That's... Confusing... But knowing your fate? Isn't that uncomfortable to know? Wouldn't you want to be free to do whatever you want?" Jill asked,

"We can still do anything else, but it just lets us save time in improving our talents instead of something we are bad at." Green explained, which got an understanding nod from all griffons.

"But... How'd you do it so fast?!" Nina asked in disbelief, finally getting around to the question.

The two ponies just shrugged, "Magic I guess?"

Ninas' eyes twitched once more but quickly broke away from a trance via a sigh of disappointment. "It's with the hooves all over again..." She thought.

"Oi! Food's getting cold! Eat while it's still hot!" Albert shouted, already near the pot and ready to fill bowls. The crew hurried, but let the ponies eat first.



They fed them meat

Author's Note:

A shitty romance with two characters that I haven't developed in the story. So if you're confused and not invested in Jills' and Geldes' relationship, I'm not mad. (Cause I'm not interested either)

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