Spike of All Trades

by Ariamaki

Zero Hour: Part 2

Author's Note:

Chapter 83
Zero Hour: Part 2
- OR -
Luna Leaves Little Leeway

[La Lune]
Luna
LV ???

WELP that raised an uncomfortable number of questions. In a rare event ever since his power came to be, Spike was stunned silent. At least until that very same pony interrupted his racing thoughts.

"Nephew, art thou ill?"

"N-no! Just uh... Kinda surprised by something. I can tell you all about it later: Maybe in a letter?"

A letter would be their default form of communication, of course: Adding the 'maybe' implied, at least he hoped it implied, discussing the question of her Level in a dream visit. What he didn't expect was for Luna to take an entirely different tack: She turned and looked to Arcane and Piercing instead.

"May I take the liberty of silencing the room?"

The withering stare the unicorn Night Guard shot her boss was so strong it nearly peeled the moisture off of Spike's scales.
"You insisted you didn't need to bother when you came here with direct orders, but now you want to opt for privacy? Not my place to question I guess: Fire away."

Rarity seemed vaguely scandalized that her Aunt was backtalking the Princess, but she didn't get a chance to question it as Luna was already casting her spell. Spike immediately kicked on Dragon's Mind to attempt to figure something out, but no dice: Just like with Rarity's most complex attack the other day, his MP crashed out within seconds of trying to parse the advanced magic.

"There! Quite secure if I were to be asked. Now, shall I restart explaining from the top?"

That finally got Rarity's voice back in action, as she tried to figure out her place in this.
"I, um, that is... Should we be here for this? I try not to stick my muzzle into their work when possible, after all."

"Miss Rarity, I did choose to include you in this conversation with deliberate intention. Although you are free to leave if you do not feel comfortable."

"No no! Just... asking."

"Thank you for being willing to ask: I do not wish to make you displeased. I merely concluded, upon yours and Spike's arrival, that perhaps I may be able to solve several problems at the same time tonight."

From the sharp intake of breath across the desk, he assumed either Arcane or Piercing had just figured out what she meant by that: Which put them well ahead of Spike himself. He was willing to hazard a guess on part of it, though... Maybe it was the buffed Intelligence talking? Either that or he was just being hopeful, thinking back to his wishful daydreams as a hatchling.

"You have direct orders for your Night Guards, and you're OK with Rarity and me hearing about it. So it probably involves something in or around Ponyville that isn't too risky or secret. And the second half, solving multiple problems at once... You think I, or both of us, could help with what they're doing somehow?"

Luna's smile was broad and genuine, and she pulled him forward with one wing once he finished.
"As I said before, my most singular and favorite nephew, you really are my kin: Correct on both counts."

It was kind of funny: Earlier in the week, he had gone out of his way to tell all of Twilight's friends about his Gamer abilities. That had been intended to get it out of the way and keep him from wasting time and attention telling anypony on the night of her big reveal. But now it looked like he was going to be telling the story again before the night was out regardless.

- - - - [SOME TIME LATER] - - - -

His explanation of The Gamer was met with stoic faces from both Ammos: Unsurprisingly, maybe. They had been telling him about ponies they knew with strange personal magic previously. That meant the idea of a dragon with an even weirder magic portfolio? Probably not a big shocker. On top of the general explanation of his abilities, he covered the current short-lived growth benefits (but not their origin, of course) which had brought him to the Arcade tonight to begin with.

Luna's generally affable expression grew even more obviously happy when he mentioned those buffs, so he had a feeling her plan was bolstered by that fact. At the same time, Rarity looked contemplative over the information... Maybe she was ascribing her earlier burst of inspiration to the effects? He didn't think it was so cut and dry, but they'd probably have to discuss that later.

Arcane sighed.
"So that's why you were so confident you could learn attack magic from me, huh?"

He sighed and scratched the fins behind his head.
"Yeah... And I made a breakthrough on that earlier! Next time should go way more smoothly."

"It has also had some interesting effects on how quickly he can communicate with my sister and I: Would you care to demonstrate, Spike?"

The fact that she was asking him to demonstrate this now meant it would probably be useful for her plan... Which made him even more excited about the prospect. He closed his eyes (almost entirely for show) and jotted down a quick letter through the system before mentally hitting the 'Send' button.

Before his eyes were even open again, a puff of green fire had produced a scroll directly above Luna's muzzle. Spike almost never got to see his own sending ability from this side of things, and now he wondered if any of his previous packages had bonked Princess Celestia on the snoot... Thankfully the Gamer's Mind kept him from cracking up at the mental image.

Both of the Ammos were clearly surprised at the quick missive. And while Piercing looked more intrigued than anything, his wife? Arcane had a dour frown and raised brows, looking at Luna with her muzzle wrinkled. She questioned Luna, and her line of questioning confirmed Spike's hope / suspicion.
"You want us to bring him along as a relay for information?"

Luna scoffed as she unfurled the scroll and looked it over, covering her mouth with a hoof.
"Of course not!"

"Fair enough. Pardon me for sus-"

"I want one of you to bring Spike along as the primary actor in the operation. The other can just stay here: Arcane, perhaps? You and Rarity could join me for an impromptu, as they say, 'Girl's Night' to pass the time!"

Piercing's stiff upper lip cracked with a suppressed chuckle, and even Rarity reacted with... well, it definitely wasn't shock or anger. Pride, maybe? He could get behind that. But Arcane, she was far far less pleased.
"Really, Princess? I could absolutely understand having a relay for short coded messages, but you're telling me to sit around chit-chatting with you while we send an inexperienced civilian with a niche ability-"

The alicorn cut her subject off, not with a verbal disruption, but by flipping the sheet of paper around. Spike had to admit he was extremely happy with how his Gamer powers meshed in this particular case: After picking up Photographic Speedreading the other day, his ability to transcribe text had approached instant speed, as if he were printing his System's menus and his thoughts directly from a game's screen.

So where Arcane had probably expected to see a short message of a few words? The parchment actually held Spike's entire character sheet (buttons and all) plus a transcription of the sentences they had exchanged moments before. For a kicker, the conversation made each speaker clear with matching fonts and colors: He'd expanded his inventory of inks during one of his previous shopping trips, and was glad to see the experiment pay off now.

"...OK, even with that level of communications, isn't this classed as a significant danger? The Guard doesn't deputize random ponies these days, especially not without endurance training."

"No risk at all, if I were to be asked. The biological differences of ponies and dragons aside... Spike, what's the worst injury you've suffered since 'becoming' The Gamer? I admit to being curious regardless, since I very much doubt I have heard all of your stories just yet."

Hrm. That was actually a pretty good question.
"Worst injury? Uhh... In terms of severity I'm going to say it's a tie between the first time I lit my entire mana system on fire or one of the times Sweetie Belle cut my arms off."

Rarity's ensuing screech was absolutely worth revealing that one: He'd have to apologize to Sweetie later, given that her sister was probably going to talk her ear off in the near future.
"ONE of the times? Arms PLURAL!?"

"What can I say, for somepony who can't cook very well she's really adept with a kitchen knife. Oooh actually I wonder if I could get her to help me with mise en place next time?"

"I... Hrmf. HRMF I say."

Even as Rarity scoffed, Arcane held up her hooves in defeat. Spike did notice she was also sneaking peeks at his shoulders to make sure they were still attached.
"Alright, alright: Point conceded. He'll come back from a mission of this grade safely even if you sent him alone. And I guess I don't really object on any serious grounds, apart from making certain that you are certain. It's just... Why not send all three of us, if you're looking to take advantage of his 'bonus time' or whatever?"

This time the Princess took her time considering the objection. Eventually her horn lit and traced a few graceful arcs through the air. The magical clouds came together into a set of basic charts: One had three lines and the other two. On both, one green line started far lower than the others, and made a sharp rise over the course of the graph. The main difference was that on the three-line chart, that line's rise was significantly constrained, as if the other two were pushing it down with their stature alone. Despite that, the other lines underwent no change in either chart.

"Division of labor and division of experience: From the conversations I have already had with young Spike in the past, it seems his power operates off of extremely game-like logic. Even if he did the entirety of the work? I fear the mere presence of multiple sources of strong backup would have a negative impact, leeching potential benefits away to little gain. And as you said, this task is not at all on the riskier side: What better time to introduce a squire to the field?"

"...Fine. Minimal objections retracted, do what you want. I guess I'd be glad to entertain you and Rares in their absence. Pierce, you haven't put a single word in edgewise yet. Thoughts?"

The pegasus finally stepped forward with a smile, although that seemingly-friendly expression had the edge of an experienced drill commander.
"Mostly just... pleasantly surprised: Once we moved out here I thought I wouldn't have the chance to train up a new cadet anytime soon. What's your combat experience like, Spike?"

Comments

[RP422]

I had a feeling that the "Chop Spike's arms off" bit would come back eventually. Glad the callback ended up being this glorious.

[DarkDMan]

First trainer has been found!
Now grind it for 5 times, daily!

[falconstrings]

and here we go~ Gaming Cadet Spike reporting for duty

[falconstrings]

Fantastic chapter

[Booster Spice]

Luna is really going to find teeth for the mill she is is about to grind Spike with?

Heading into the Everfree to open the route to The Castle Of The Two Sisters fully?

[Spellflame]

That title sounds important

[kitsune119]

Love this story i just wish the chapters were longer, like at least 3 thousand words

[Herald of Opera]

10676110
It's one of many fancy terms for midnight, and how it shows up on digital clocks. Since that's close enough to the current time in-universe, I didn't bother looking further.

[EnderHooves]

10676068
He doesn't have enough gold. Make sure the trainer is his companion so he can just have the gold back from their inventory. (Thanks Faendal.)

[DarkDMan]

10676347

[HB_DS2013]

Oh boy. Spike is going to have the kiss the pacifist run goodbye.

[Frazzle2Dazzle]

The pegasus finally stepped forward with a smile, although that seemingly-friendly expression had the edge of an experienced drill commander. "Mostly just... pleasantly surprised: Once we moved out here I thought I wouldn't have the chance to train up a new cadet anytime soon. What's your combat experience like, Spike?"

Why do I hear boss music?

[Moonlit_Stardust]

What's your combat experience like, Spike?"

Depending on where this is in the timeline? He is in for a surprise. Not many people can say have fought or distracted Big Bads and lived to tell the tale, much less be granted the title of “Hero” and all the benefits that come with such a high Noble title.

10676578

I know right, my playlist started playing L-Trains Daybreaker Boogie as I hit that sentence XD

[TheraseVoidCaller]

Princess Celestia on the snoot

Spike's Gamer's mind prevented him from laughing at the mental image, but not me

[Black--Soul]

10701045
Boop that snoot = Cute
Letter booping ponys on the snoot on a regular basis?
= Absolutely priceless

[Black--Soul]

Time to get seriouse, kill or be killed. Even if the enemy will scream for nerfs and calling hax