Spike of All Trades

by Ariamaki

Zero Hour: Part 20

Once Spike actually saw the dojo on the other side of town? He realized he had already known about this place! Back when Apple Bloom was first trying to get her Cutie Mark, before she knew him or the other Crusaders? Rainbow Dash had brought her out here to try for various martial arts marks. It had been a swing and a miss in that regard, but Spike still remembered her excitedly talking about the unusual style and decorations of the place long after.

The dojo was constructed out of much darker wood than most buildings in Ponyville and had a nearly flat red tile roof instead of a peaked thatchwork. There were plenty of glass windows and a few doors and panels that had ornately-painted paper replacing the wood. Even from a distance the area smelled of sandalwood and fresh flowing water. Spike decided to let himself in through the front door rather than checking around back first: A more polite sort of approach.

As soon as he crossed over the threshold he could hear the sound of a plucked string instrument coming from further inside, although what caught his attention before that was the pony behind the small desk in the entrance. An older but heavily-built stallion with a pale drab-brown mane and a dusty blue coat, he wasn't familiar to Spike. Checking over his head and using Observe confirmed that he was definitely in the right place.

[The Right Door of the Gate]
Hoof Strike
LV 25

The character sheet showed a pony who was heavily slanted towards Strength and the other physical stats, with only moderate investments in other fields. Most of the details were obscured, even moreso than higher-level ponies like the Ammos. That was an interesting twist. Maybe it was akin to his problem with the Dragon's Mind and high-complexity spells? Just because something had one low-ranking metric didn't mean it was low across the board or very easy to comprehend.

In contrast to his heavy appearance, Hoof Strike's voice was clean and crisp.
"Spike?"

He broke his attention away from the menu screen and nodded.
"That's me! I guess Lyra told you I might be coming?"

The stallion laughed and waved one burly hoof in the air.
"Naw. Just figured this town can't have more than one dragon in it. But if you are here for the mint chip... HEY STRING BEAN!"

The melodious tune floating in from the other room immediately stopped, followed by muffled vulgarity. Hoof Strike just chuckled to himself and gestured towards a nearby paper-screen door.

"Through there: Have fun, sorry in advance if she's mad."

Spike kinda wondered if Hoof should have been apologizing to Lyra for that, but then realized that the stallion probably assumed he was here to spar with her. And maybe he was: Sometimes it was best to learn claws-on, so even if he wasn't sure if he wanted to fight her (or vice versa)? No time like the present to find out!

Lyra (Heartstrings, at the moment) was sitting in the middle of a bamboo-mat floor with a frown and a Lyra-signature strange posture: Flank on the ground, hind legs crossed like a pretzel, barrel and head straight up into the air. An instrument of some kind was resting in the crook of her legs, and she was scowling down at a broken string when Spike first walked in. She started speaking as if she would make like her string and snap. Then when she realized that it was him and not Hoof Strike, both her words and her expression did a 180.

"Do you really have to- Oh~! Hey Spike! Glad you came to see me so soon after our chat. Sup?"

He scratched the fins on the back of his head with one claw, putting on his best sheepish face.
"Uh, kind of a lot. You got time for a long weird conversation?"

"Oh Spike, I know we haven't really gotten to know each other. But I literally have nothing but that. Bonnie would argue that my entire life is pre-booked as 'time for a long weird conversation', and I wouldn't disagree!"

That got him laughing, and he walked over to sit nearby before she stopped him with one hoof.
"Ah! Nope. That's not how things are done here: As much as I wanna clock Hoof upside his head right now, policy is policy, and this one is a good policy. If you wanna talk? At bare minimum, we walk."

Lyra stood up from the floor, setting her temporarily-damaged instrument (some kind of harp, not a lyre, something built for the odd cross-legged way she had been sitting when he walked in) across the room on a bench. Once it lay resting between two dark wooden pillars, she sproing'd up to her hooves in a single smooth motion. The fluidity and speed reminded him a bit of Pinkie Pie, before Lyra started to pace and gestured for him to follow.

"So like, they say that moving can help put your mind in motion? Which means we don't have any kind of normal conversation unless we're also moving. Walking, running, fighting, breaking things down for firewood... Just kinda keeping our hooves busy. You don't have a problem with that?"

"Hah, no: I don't think Twilight would give the same kind of reason for it, but I've followed her with a clipboard taking diction during some truly heinous pacing sessions. Mare nearly dug a hole through the carpet once!"

"Good! Not for the carpet, but whatever. Let's start with walking and see where it goes from there."

They started things smoothly with formal introductions and bits of history: They were both from Canterlot originally, Spike worked with Twilight, Lyra worked on her own, that sort of thing. The Changeling invasion came up briefly, although he almost swallowed those words literally when Lyra took a swing for his head with one hoof. She'd started walking on just her back hooves at some point, now looming over his current frame and serving pot-shots with a smile.

Not to be outdone, he slowly stretched and grew with the Hoard's power until he matched her new height eye to eye. That got an appreciative whistle out of Lyra, paired with another jab to his gut. He focused entirely on defense while she told him about the events of 'that day', both of them smiling despite the dark topic and the action. This kinda reminded him of training with the Crusaders or hitting the Arcade with Pinkie in a weird way, so he just took it in stride as they talked.

Over the course of a few minutes they'd laid out most of their obvious getting-to-know-you history, and Spike started to segue into the reason he'd come here. Lyra got the near-unabridged version of his Gamer history, partly because he was here seeking help and partly because of the constant excited glint of curiosity in her eyes. She ate up everything he had to say like an Apple hitting the pie table at a reunion, peppering him with questions and attacks in equal measure. Turned out she had actually saved her big questions for last.

"...So yeah, that's basically how it all went down, and why I came to you for advice."

"Neat! Not even sarcastically, that whole situation is very interesting. I suppose you're taking it well, psychologically?"

"Uhh... Yeah? Mostly. Been trying to keep that sort of out-of-sight out-of-mind when possible."

"Mmmh, I totally get that. Me and Bonnie do the exact same thing when our, uh, respective work environments get us down."

"Glad to hear that I'm coping in a healthy way."

"Ohohhoho no, I never said that. Never said not that, either. You know. And you feel alright about all the creatures you had to kill?"

"I mean, an infestation is an infestation, right? They're threatening the Dogs out there, and if I had to put the two sides onto scale pans... The ones I can talk to definitely outweigh the bugs."

"No objections here: Especially not after the wedding! Although those were bugs you can also talk to, so I dunno. Never did get to figure out anything about how they work: Do you think Chrysalis is eusocial?"

"I seriously have no idea how you and Twilight haven't done more stuff together."

"Mostly the constant bickering and arguments. I lean into the human stuff extra hard around her because I know she gets huffy about it. It's fun! For me."

"Well don't let me stop you: If it were really bad I'd have heard her complaining after work, and you're not on The List."

"Speaking of which, you know anything about humans? Swear this is relevant and not just me pulling a fast one."

"Only about as much as I've picked up from your library visits and a few comic book storylines."

"Alright, let's wind down a bit then: I'm gonna start gesturing when I talk for sure, and I don't wanna accidentally bop you."

"...Accidentally? I could have sworn this was a deliberate bopping session."

"Correction, accidentally bop you too hard."

"Bopping's inevitable then? That tracks, actually."

Lyra laughed as she stepped back and away, gesturing for Spike to follow. Out through the training room doors was not another hallway as he expected, but an interior garden of sorts. A wizened tree arched and bent over a field of small flowers and wild grasses, while a stone path led between its shadow and a pagoda. One corner of the space contained a wide field of plain white sand and a wooden tool of some kind... He vaguely recognized this layout from things he had read, but it didn't seem to be their destination.

His guide kept walking and he followed, matching her pace even as he reduced his size back to the new normal. She wasn't talking as they moved, so he took the time to settle and relax. Sparring her had been a much smoother and more casual experience than the legitimate fight with Bruxis or the more scientific and calculated duel with Twilight. It would be nice to find more partners in the future for that kind of thing. Then he could get his experience to be both deep and wide!

Author's Note:

Chapter 101
Zero Hour: Part 20
- OR -
Walk and Wallop

Comments

[Booster Spice]

This dojo would be where Applebloom got her Gi and belt? Dash got hers here, or elsewhere and just keeps up with regular visits here?

No Equestria Girls mirror adventures for a looong time if any otherwise Spike wouldve at least glitched on the human question? After all, he hasnt reached enough level or skills to be offered a selection, textual or graphical, or morphological forms Horde etc could take him, unless it required Changeling subsumption of particualr amounts or boss levels?

Lyra is all now, First, we walk.

Zen, action.

[Black--Soul]

"Bopping's inevitable then? That tracks, actually."

Looking booping on the snoot?

How mutch time did they spend? What left of the bonus?

So Lyra is kinda trolling Bon Bon with the human stuff?

[WiseIdiot]

You know this is the only story in my favorites that still updates with any sort of regularity?

Thanks for that.

[Frazzle2Dazzle]

10864763
I mean, I know that she’s freaked out by Bugbears, but I don’t know the reasoning behind her caution.

[Quirky View]

10866750
Oh man, my tracking's got nearly a hundred stories an only 3 or 4 update regularly, it's nice to have something I enjoy reading regularly update.

[Nolysar]

10866913
If I remember correctly, it was something about how she was the one to originally send it to tartarus, and so now it's coming back for revenge.

[Frazzle2Dazzle]

10868159
Gotcha, thanks.

[Black--Soul]

I can see Lyra go all handy over humans when they go over her and become all hoovsies with her