Yeah, that... That was a character sheet.
Absorbing that information slowly, his eyes chanced upon a few 'tabs' of several other windows attached to this one, with names like INVENTORY and SKILLS. For now, he focused on what was in front of him: Six stats, most of which he recognized even by abbreviation: It wasn't quite the Ogres and Oubliettes set, but he figured it out. Next to those were buttons to raise them, a button to confirm the change, and buttons to undo mistakes before confirming... So any decision made here was probably permanent. Not that he had any 'points' to spend.
"Ten, ten, ten... Tens across the board. And nothing to spend. Is ten high? Is ten low? Am I... do I suck?"
"Spike, of course you don't! Where did you even get the idea? ...Also, what did I say about using phrases like "I suck"?"
Whoops! He woke Twilight up with all of his menu-navigation, so that was a problem. His (highly complex still-hypothetical relationship-word that encompassed employment, friendship, family, and still-weirder things) Twilight Sparkle was rolling herself out of bed and looking at him... sadly? She probably only heard the last bit of that and just assumed he was putting himself down for whatever reason... Aaand she'd heard him swear. Well, sort of swear. As bad as he ever got, anyways, and normally he was pretty good about keeping even that much under wraps.
"Oh! No, sorry, that was out of context, I swear. Um. Also I did swear, sort of? I'm sorry, I swear."
She giggled at the puns, and Spike turned around to actually face her at the same time... Which brought him to a cold stop. Above her head, words floated much like his new-found menus.
[Faithful Student]
Twilight Sparkle
LV 27
So this... Either it was spreading, or this whole 'thing' had broader applications than just giving him menus. Spike looked her up and down, trying to see some detail that might explain it, but he really wasn't able to discern it. But there was one way to check, and it would help him try to explain.
"Twilight, can you really focus for a second and say the word 'Options'?"
She scrunched her muzzle and shrugged.
"Sure! I'll assume it's for some kind of project, you can tell me about it afterwards. Options. OK, was that good?"
Spike watched Twilight's expression, and nothing changed, so it was a pretty good bet that it hadn't done anything on her end. And she hadn't really reacted to looking at / above his head, so (if he even had one, not like he'd seen a mirror yet) she didn't see anything there either.
"Yeah, that's fine. How do I put this... I woke up with a bit of a problem this morning."
Twilight's expression became a bit more motherly and she plopped back onto the bed with a sigh.
"Oh Spike, I thought we'd already talked about-"
"NOPE, no, nope, Spike noping, not what I meant. Yes we already talked about 'that', and 'that' is not what's happening. I mean, any moreso than usual."
"Huh. Alright, fair. So what exactly..."
"I'm seeing things. Um, and hearing them. And maybe feeling them? But not like I'm sick or being tricked with an illusion, I don't think? But you probably aren't seeing them. I'm not phrasing this well."
This time, her horn flared up as she looked him over, the faint tingles of magic on his scales making him shiver. He could still clearly see his Options menu, and the words over her head, and if she could detect all of that in some way it would save him a lot of trouble and confusion. But the spell faded before he saw any reaction, and Twilight shook her head.
"Sorry Spike, but I'm not noticing anything out of the ordinary. What kind of 'things' are we talking about here?"
It's not like I even know myself, he groused in his head. But still, he owed her an explanation for waking her up, and maybe she could even help him.
"Alright, so I was having a dream about that 'Oubliettes and Ogres' campaign that Shining ran for me and the Crusaders last time he was in town..."
Twilight rolled her eyes, and he felt a very brief flare of anger and indignation, although it sputtered into nothing within a moment. She had every right to be disbelieving of him, especially given how much he'd been binging lately, but so fast? He hadn't even gotten a full sentence out, and she was the pony who taught him to always keep an open mind when shown... Evidence. Right. He could talk all he wanted, but-
"Spike, like I said, I didn't notice anything, and I feel like my diagnostic spells are pretty accurate. I think you just need to cut back on the comics and games for a bit, alright? Here, actually!"
She trotted out of bed and over to one dresser, removing a small pouch with her magic. He stared at it curiously, wondering if it had bits, some kind of gem-based apology, or something else inside. If only he could see it a little more clearly...
A skill has been created through a special action! Through continuous observation, a skill to discern information about your target, [Observe], has been created!
His attention was torn away from the bag, Twilight's words, and everything else. This was new. And this was big. A skill. Not just options or a status screen but a power. He had an ability. All he had to do, if it was anything like the rest of this, was say:
"Observe."
[Sparkle Family Allowance]
A well-worn pouch, used to store money to give to children. Currently contains: 20 Bits.
Well, that answered that question, although this situation still asked far more than it answered. If he could get a skill like that so easily, what's to say he couldn't get another? What would the limits be? Before that though, he had to finish trying to convince Twilight.
"Here you go! I've got some business up in Canterlot today, so I've got to get on the train in a bit, and I'm not going to be back until after dinner. I know you can handle cooking on your own just fine, but until then? Have fun in town, alright? I'm sorry I couldn't give you more notice."
...Oooor convincing would have to wait until later. At least now he had the whole day free to figure this out, experiment, and visit the shops. Oooh, he could visit Rarity, too! This was shaping up better and better, even if Twilight didn't believe him yet. Still, it was worth a shot at resolving early.
"So, uh, what about all the stuff I'm experiencing?"
Twilight was already trotting down the stairs by then, so he followed her to the Library's foyer as they talked.
"Spike, you are my Number One Assistant, and I really adore you, but... I don't think it's a concern. If you're still having these problems once you've really woken up, then we can talk about it again tonight before bed, OK? I promise that we'll do some thorough science to it then."
That was better than nothing, Spike supposed. And if he was lucky, this problem would solve itself with itself: Twilight would leave and come back, and he'd have figured out some more about what was happening, maybe even a way to prove it was happening. Or several, if he was lucky.
"Sure. Thanks, Twilight."
She smiled, her magic already levitating a pair of well-stuffed saddlebags off of the rack.
"Hey, don't thank me yet: If you're right and I'm missing something, I'll owe you an apology."
He hugged her quickly, only separating as she began walking towards the door.
"No apologies necessary. And have a nice trip, alright? I'll stock up the groceries, take care of the mail and stuff, and get us a nice midnight snack while I'm at it!"
Their conversation had made its way outside of the library entirely at this point, so he was a little annoyed when she laughed at him: What if somepony heard? Oh well, he was used to little things like that at this point, and he had to admit...
"Midnight seems like a bit of a stretch, Spike. I'll be back by eight or nine, and I know you'll be awake then, but midnight?"
Well, she wasn't wrong: Even with age, his sleep pattern still hadn't caught up to everypony else.
"OK, you got me, I am wounded, etc. So... See you later?"
"Of course."
A quick peck to his spines and she was off.