Spike of All Trades

by Ariamaki


One if By Land: Part 21

Spike wasn't sure how long they talked, but it gave him more than enough food for thought. Well before he had all his concerns on the matter settled, their Guard attachment caught up to them and cleared their throats discreetly.

Zenith looked over their arrangement on the bench and the uncomfortable silence and sighed.
"Your allotted time is almost over, Mr. T. Dragon."

"...Lemme guess, my group is on their way to pick me up?"

Gibbous wiggled a wing in the air.
"For given values of all of those words, sure."

No sooner had he said that than the answer rounded the corner: And indeed, his group was there. Twilight and Pinkie Pie and Rarity were all approaching, along with two others. Naturally it was both Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, which made him a little curious as to how these two weirdo ponies might react to an actual impromptu meeting with their respective idols...

Ardor Ray went dead silent as soon as the Princesses approached, wordlessly standing and clearing space for the royal arrivals. Lilac Lack was also quiet, but instead of rising she fell further back into her seat as if trying to disappear.

Princess Celestia smiled at them all and waved one wing at Spike.
"Hello again, my little ponies! Thank you for being willing to speak on such short notice... Spike, I suppose these two answered all the questions that may have been raised during our meeting?"

There was a lot of emphasis on all the questions, and when she specifically asked about their meeting back in the room with the mirror? He was more than willing to put two and two together. The seal she had placed referred to what was inside as one of her failures and a past mistake, Indra's Net made her emotions about the mirror itself clear, and there was a line connecting him to something either inside or on the other side of the mirror...

She knew. Whether she'd planned it or overheard their conversation or just made an assumption, she definitely knew exactly what he'd just learned and what kind of conclusions he was jumping to. That was just the kind of thing that made Princess Celestia the pony she was. He decided to try his own subtle follow-up as a reply.

"Even some of the questions I didn't know needed answering! Thank you again, the both of you."

Ardor nodded stiffly and Lilac just made some small indiscernible motion in her huddle. Celestia smiled, even having the temerity to wink at him since nopony else was looking directly at her. So now she knew that he knew, and... hoo. HOO boy, this was going to be a lot to unpack.

Rarity hung back at a socially-appropriate distance, Pinkie Pie bounded over to give him a proper squeeze of a hug, and Twilight stayed where she was standing with Celestia. Princess Luna came over and leaned down to whisper to Lilac Lack... and although she was being extremely quiet, his newly-enhanced senses were able to pick up exactly what she said.

"Have you been handling the dreams well, my child?"

"mmh."

"Alright. Just remember: Your past actions do not define you, unless you allow them to do so."

"...mmh."

Princess Celestia watched the near-silent conversation with a bemused expression until she very calmly, possibly accidentally, and absolutely calculatedly laid a wing over Twilight Sparkle's back. Ardor Ray had been watching her with dumbstruck fascination, and as soon as that happened she sprung up from the bench with an enormous blush coloring both cheeks.

"Thank you again for the opportunity Your Glorious Majesty, we have to be going now!"

"...what she said."

Ardor was already half-running away before Lilac cleared the bench, although before she left in the other mare's wake the small earth pony turned back to look at him.

"Boyo?"

"Yeah?"

"Everything."

Spike had to laugh at the cryptic (to everypony else) reminder. Laughing didn't mean he didn't appreciate it, of course: He'd already known his path, he just needed some 'disruptive guidance'. Not to discover it in the first place, but to get his head out of his hind end and see just how far he was meant to take it.

"Be safe you two!"

Gibbous Trace and Zenith Flair both went to follow the two of them, presumably to see them off the grounds of the castle and back home. Zenith discretely cleared his throat as they trotted away.
"Don't worry about it: That's our job."

Which left the six of them together for the first time today. Maybe not even the first time today, but possibly ever? Spike had rarely spent much time with both Princess Luna and Celestia as a duo before, much less in a situation like this. He could tell it was the same for everypony else present, although they each handled it in their own way.

Pinkie shot suspicious glares at the retreating mares in the distance (he'd have to tackle that when
he got the chance), Rarity was having a hushed conversation with thin air, and Twilight was looking up at Princess Celestia with the kind of expressions he probably gave Pinkie on the train ride over.

Eventually Twilight broke the silence with a mischievous grin.
"Your Glorious Majesty, huh?"

The taller of the two alicorns just blushed in response, while her little sister burst out laughing.
"I keep telling her to give in and accept the adulations, but apparently in Our absence she became even more reluctant to receive worship!"

Rarity tittered and covered her mouth with a hoof, clearly finding that phrasing to be... questionable. Twilight just blinked innocently up at Celestia before rubbing a little salt in the wounds.

"Should I find a new term of address for you as well, Princess? I'm sure we could think of a few if we put our heads together, maybe had a private 'brainstorming' session..."

Celestia just barely managed to choke out an answer.
"That won't be necessary Twilight, thank you."

"I am sure my sister finds your worship more than sufficient as it is, Twilight."

Now it was time for Spike's (word!?) to be the blushing one, while Rarity's facade of covering her own giggles broke down completely. Eventually they all got in on the joke and laughed along for a moment, although that only made the awkward silence afterwards more obvious. It was Rarity who spoke up again in the end, although he definitely hadn't expected what she said.

"I'm afraid you all might have to go home to Ponyville without me: I do believe I am going to stay in Canterlot for a while longer."

Pinkie Pie immediately lunged over to look at Princess Luna from beneath, probably trying to ape her earlier exchange with Cadance... Spike pulled her back gently while fishing for an explanation.
"Project that big, huh?"

"Well I wouldn't say big necessarily. Mostly for phrasing reasons, as that implies a certain level of volume, which would be quite offensive to many mares-"

"Not myself, of course, but I will admit the connotations of weight have changed with time."

"Ahem. As I was saying... Voluminous might be the better word. I have to thank you, Princess Celestia, for keeping so much of your sister's original wardrobe in such immaculate condition! I have never seen so much classical fashion outside of Twilight's museum trips, and we rarely ever got to spend much time in those wings."

Twilight nodded, looking a little introspective.
"I really should consider blocking out time for each of our interests in advance for those... I just end up getting so absorbed sometimes!"

"Yes well, scheduling aside... There is much work to be done here, and very much the opposite at home in Ponyville. Late spring and early summer are the worst times for the Boutique: As much as I love our town, everypony works far too hard to consider investing in clothes during froth season."

Pinkie nodded vigorously, her mane sprawling out briefly to emphasize the ever-encroaching heat.
"Right!? And fresh warm baked goods don't sell nearly as well either. We don't have the facilities to do any super-fancy ice cream stuff at volume, so... Well, I took time off for lots of reasons, but that was deffo a contributing factor."

He leaned over and wrapped an arm around her neck, laying a little kiss behind her ear. She turned on him (gentle as ever) and nipped at one of his spines, and they left it at that... It was probably a little much even, given the company, but she was just too cute and caring for him not to show some public affection. And they'd have this whole next week together, just the two of them...

Well, barring the trip back with Twilight. And day-to-day stuff. Meeting up with the Crusaders. He'd probably have to go check up on the Diamond Dogs at least once... There wasn't really anywhere the two of them could feasibly be really alone together, since both of them lived with other ponies and had all sorts of stuff that might impinge on their time. Really, any time they were in Ponyville...

An idea hit Spike like a bolt from the blue. He leaned back away from Pinkie Pie and made a few adjustments in his menu, then turned her head to point at the window. She nodded silently and accepted the change, and they started a subvocal chat. Everypony else was talking about Rarity's potential longer-duration stay here in Canterlot, but the two of them had their own side conversation.

When they came out of their mental huddle the plan was set and Pinkie broke the news.
"Welp, I guess that means you're taking the train home alone Twilight!"

She stared at Pinkie for a moment before slowly turning to look at him, then back to Pinkie.
"...Are you two finding some excuse to stay too?"

He waved a claw dismissively.
"Oh we're not staying!"

Pinkie grinned and threw a hoof around his shoulder.
"We're just not taking the train."

"We'll see ya again in about a week either way though!"

If there was anypony in Equestria who could do the relevant math in her head instantly, it was Twilight Sparkle. She paused for the briefest fraction of a second before stomping her hoof.
"...Are you two planning on walking home!?"

"I think over that distance it's technically hiking?"

"Saddlebagging, if it weren't for my Inventory."

Princess Luna reared back and clapped her forehooves, clearly excited by the prospect.
"An overland trek! We have not had the chance to trot such a distance in many moons: I wish the two of you the best of fortunes in your travels and travails."

Rarity chimed in with a sour expression.
"I will admit that my last trip over such a distance was with Pinkie Pie, actually... although it was a bit of a harrowing scenario for the both of us."

Spike remembered hearing about that one from the girls afterwards, when they'd gone to fetch Applejack from her attempt to flee some personal mistakes. Rarity and Pinkie Pie had been left behind in a high-octane chase sequence and had to travel most of the way back to Ponyville on a hoof-cart... Thankfully, he didn't plan for them to be taking anything nearly that obnoxious to use.

"Well hey now, I think I've matured a lot since then!"

"I never said you were the problem dear: I did get quite annoyed at the time, but really that was just transferring my anger at Rainbow Dash for abandoning us like that. I'm sure you and Spike will have a lovely time 'roughing it' together."

He smiled and did a little half-bow, mind already racing with possible plans.
"We'll absolutely make the best of it... Assuming you're OK with it, Twilight?"

The unicorn nodded to him and levitated one of her bags from the earlier train trip. He never had gotten to ask what she was carrying...
"Absolutely! To be honest I thought it was just going to be the three of us coming up here, so I had packed a ton of my latest reading material. When we ran into everypony at the station I ended up spending the whole time socializing, so... Book time for Twilight!"

Her smile was big and bright enough to outshine Celestia's own presence, which was saying quite a lot given the adoring expression the alicorn was giving to her marefriend.
"Well then, should we split our parties here again and let the two of you prepare to leave?"

"Actually, I did still want to talk to you about some things... And Luna as well, if you'd have me. So maybe we should stay over dinner?"

A loud rumble from Pinkie Pie's stomach punctuated his suggestion almost perfectly.
"Oooh, good timing! Where do we wanna go?"

She'd clearly made that suggestion without remembering that they were at Canterlot Castle with both of the Princesses, although when Spike expected Celestia to bring up the royal kitchens...

"Indeed: I am open to any suggestions from the group."

"...Really, sister?"

Celestia raised a wing in faux offense, probably just hiding her smile behind it.
"What? Can an old mare not simply desire to go out for a group meal?"

Princess Luna looked over at Celestia, and the free wing that she had settled back over Twilight's withers. Looked over at himself and Pinkie Pie: He made sure to avoid eye contact, while Pinkie just sounded like she was revving up for another Hmmmm. And then she looked over to Rarity. Rarity, for her part, was already muttering under her breath and talking to herself: Likely running down all the top-end restaurants where their group could make a socially-acceptable appearance.

"...Fine. It is rare enough we have our schedules open for the day together and have our schedules align so cleanly, after all. I accept, for what it is worth."

Twilight was giddy at the idea of going out with Celestia in public, even if not publicly so to speak.
"I'd love to!"

Spike shared a glance with Pinkie Pie (and another message over their subvocal comms) before he shrugged.
"Out is fine with me: I was going to offer to cook as a fallback option, I'm always glad for the chance to stretch those skills."

"Me five! Which just leaves-"

Rarity finally raised a hoof and pointed into the distance, although he had no clue if she even had the direction right for what she said next.
"Morricolte's. They serve a very wide variety of seasonal dishes, they have a private dining room that I know for a fact nopony occupies during patio season, and I would absolutely trample somepony for a parmigiana right now."

The rest of them stayed silent for a time until eventually Spike shrugged.
"Alright then!"