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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Poor tax mare, needs a drink after a dose of cure
No I liked it.
I might've commented the following before, but I'm also slightly senile so I'll say it again:
I can only imagine what Cure might be able to do in a few years for ponies with gender identities that don't match their bodies. Hell, I can just imagine Cure testing on himself, up to and including a pregnancy to verify everything works.
"Dam, Mom, Dad? I've got good news and bad news. The good news is that I've found a whole new subset of ponies to help. The bad—or maybe good?—news is that you're gonna be grandparents!"
It took me a bit to figure out why cure was grumbling about going to the candy shop. I guess he's bought candy twice that day
11460189
I also couldn’t puzzle it out. Thanks!
Also, yeah I sort of feel Cure about the whole bowing thing… on the otger hand it is a different culture and when in Rome…
Also, Cure, she MOVES THE SUN. If outright supplication is too much, at the least that warrants a salute or SOMETHING like that.
thanks for the chapter! Merry Christmas author!
11460176
Mmm, pretty sure by that time Cure's parents will just say, "That's nice dear, pass the butter." As for actually being pregnant, would Cure go through it or just confirm 100% healthy ovulation and stop it there? It's one thing to improve and save lives, but create whole new ones? For all his talk, I feel there are some lines he wouldn't cross without thinking about it for a very long time. That's not to say Cure wouldn't experiment on him/her/hirself with non-functioning parts. We already know Cure's been kitting themselves out with bizarre addons for a while.
I wonder if Cure's had the opportunity to scan other critters like electric eels (lethal hoofzapper trick!) or hydras (to puzzle out their regeneration).
11460218
What about artificial wombs?
“Pod ponies!!!!”
I genuinely cannot wait to see how Celestia acts when she finds out what Cure can *actually* do.
Cure Wave seems like the kind of guy that could accidentally end up as an eldritch abomination without even noticing if the conditions were right. Same goes for any other biomancer, really.
"What do you mean having two hearts, three livers, no lungs, twenty hooves of height over average, heat sense, perfect night vision, perfect memory, no need to eat or sleep, removable horn with perfect casting, two venomous stingers, cannons inside my legs, removable wings, dragon scales, impenetrable skin, and more muscle mass than an entire army put together isn't normal? It's optimal! By the way, would like to have two sets of teeth and acidic blood? I'll do it for a hundred bits! It'll be a killer Nightmare Night costume! "
11460344
Thanks, fixed.
I agree, but keep in mind that one of Cure's primary objectives with anyone but his parents is to obfuscate what he can really do. His parents have a different problem; Title's probably got the best idea of what he can do, but she's a total enabler and Vines and Deed lack the education necessary to really get it all. The ponies that probably have the greatest inkling what he can do are the attorneys, but they're bound by privilege and, even if they weren't, have no reason to tattle.
11460242
Why would he need a womb? The womb is there to protect the baby during development. What's stopping him from just transmuting a block of wood into a living pony? At least, biologically. I suppose to ensure the metaphysical side works the way he intends it would be best to start from the building blocks, but even then he could accelerate the development, maybe. 24 hour pregnancy ftw!
Most entertaining thing about the taxes was the terrorized tax mare. Really though he's way too concerned over taxes for the amount he's making.
The rest is strange like the "Is curing patients a sustainable business model?" bit like he isn't going to be fabulously wealthy regardless and the sudden desire to be paid for his charity work like it isn't actually charity work but a tax write off.
While also at the same time he and everyone recognises that he's rich, his income is currently limited by his magic capacity which will only increase as he gets older and then it will be limited by how much time he wants to dedicate to it but the point stands he's going to be making a lot more money when he's older and he's already making a lot now.
It's like dude you're practically cheating and you're complaining that the state gets half after you reach the highest bracket and you don't even know what to do with a tenth of what you have now.
11460367
Yeah looking forward to seeing someone finally do a scan of him and freaking out.
this chapter was comedy gold
that poor tax-pony xD
Fun chapter.
However, damn it Cure just pay your damn taxes without trying to find loopholes. You're rich enough even after taxation. I do feel sorry for the Mare at the Council.
Also... Cure is OP with the testing his toughness at the end
I just realized, if Cure can regrow wings, then he can also fix underdeveloped wings, like a certain orange pegasus filly. If he lives to the canon timeline and he helps her, then he will be the second most awesome pony.
media.tenor.com/hBVEeXNs390AAAAC/paris-geller-liza-weil.gif
My mind is wierd:
"I don't know sweetie. If only I could be in 2 places at once."
"Hmmmm...."
"I know that look, you're-" eyes going wide "oh no you don't!"
"What?"
"No cloning experiments! There'll only be 1 Title Search, thank you very much. And I don't even want to think about more than 1 of your pa either."
Smirking while wiggling his eyebrows, he replies "Oh really? But I'm sure you and dam could-"
"No!"
*sigh* "Fine."
"....."
"....."
"And no cloning yourself either."
"Fudge!"
"I'm a good little foal! Nopony will be scared of me!"
*proceeds to rant about taxes, threaten to move to Saddle Arabia, make jokes about killing ponies, and prove that he can probably tank a guard squad even without retaliating*
11460395
You mean after the third scan because the scanning spell must be wrong.
11460449
Well it looked like he'd be fine as long as they aren't outright trying to kill him.
I'm surprised he didn't check if he could counter a stun, that seems just as important.
Awesome chapter!
Thanks for the update and great work as always!
Ah, tax evasion. Cure is not very good at acting like a kid. I think he’s slipping up a lot more than he thinks he is and it’s going to bite him eventually. Though I have to wonder how long until he has to start debating ethics and trying to avoid passing over the line into eugenics.
Damn Cure just pay your taxes you little brat. Progressive taxes only get seriously high once you’re making enough for it to be virtually irrelevant.
Loving the speed of updates and the quality still!
Oh oh do a side story of SMILE in one of your chapter. It doesn't have to be long ether "maybe?"
Um, is it just me or is he getting more and more human-y (reckless, aggressive) also, why the hate on o'l Sunbutt?
11461308
He's not hating on Sunbutt, he's hating having to bow, which I agree with personally. It's a dumb display that in the end really doesn't mean anything, especially if the person bowing doesn't actually want to bow.
Nooo, I’ve found a good story and I’ve caught up, damnit. Kinda wish I found this story when it’s completed but also glad I didn’t so I get to be apart of this story’s life as it grows.
Keep up the awesome work my good author and I hope to see more of these soon for I really am enjoying this story!
11461399
I mean I guess, for humans I'd aquate it to respecting an ancient lineage, like not all rulers sucked, but for celestia it probably started 1000 years ago and she just got used to it, she probably wouldn't care if he didn't bow, every pony else would though, just because it's just what's always been done, their ancestors bowed, their parents bowed, so they do to cause it's just what you do... they've never questioned why they have to... that curiosity is mostly human, humans are always wondering why while ponies just accept it for what it is...
I really like this story. It has a interesting premise and great execution. 10/10
I just realized, provided he lives long enough, Cure's ability is going to upend the whole plot of the MLP Movie. Fizzlepop Berrytwist can just seek him out to get her horn fixed instead of going to The Storm King.
Ah, Bohica, that’s a term I’ve not heard in a while.
11461464
If I recall correctly he, his mom, and his sire collectively agreed that he should not put a horn on to demonstrate his talent just a moment prior, right?
11461815
Chapter 23.
11460763
Tax Evasion is a crime, he's trying to avoid taxes, which is not. We avoid taxes, to some degree, any time we travel to another city or state to buy things where the sales tax is lower. Of course that doesn't work with big purchases like cars.
From IRS.gov:
tax avoidance—An action taken to lessen tax liability and maximize after-tax income
tax evasion—The failure to pay or a deliberate underpayment of taxes.
11460780
I think I did that in like... the very next chapter. It's when he makes a firefly the first time, IIRC.
11460389
In my experience, to most people it doesn't matter how much they have, it matters how much someone else is taking away from them. It especially hits someone hard when they first go from making little or nothing to suddenly having way more income. It's like, "Woo! I'm making three times as much!" then taxes come due and it's like "Oh wow, I'm making three times as much but they're taking SIX times as much away."
Especially when things like EITC disappear. Some people stop working part way through the year because if they keep working and make more money their EITC goes down and they actually end up with less income overall. Why work 1500 hours for $55k and pay $3-4k in taxes when you can work 1000 hours, take the last four months off, make 37k, and then get a $7k EITC?
... So he spends awhile complimenting and praising how things are run and how things work, has more money than he knows what to do with, and he's bothered by paying taxes?
Jeez colt, chill out. It's not like it's all being spent on corrupt politicians, military contractors, interest payments on the national debt, and infrastructure that does the worst, cheapest job they can and pockets the rest.
EDIT: removed edit.
If you have not read to chapter 41 you may not want to read this comment at all! It has spoilers in it at least until Ch 37 or so.
I would pop the whole thing behind a spoiler tag but that would be a pain in the butt for everyone that is caught up, so... you've been warned, skip this comment if you're not past at least 37.
11461308
Okay, so good time to clear this up. Cure does not at all dislike Celestia. Quite the contrary, in fact. Early in the story he fears her... or to be more accurate, he fears what she will be be forced to do in her role as a leader. This is discussed in depth in Chapter 15, aptly named "Authority"
That last part may sound like a criticism, but is actually him recognizing a necessary evil. By the time anyone has ruled for a few decades, let alone a millennium, they have certainly been forced to make hard choices with no right answer. With normal rules those decisions die with them. With an immortal they simply accumulate and can be used against them later, hence that last comment.
A little further down:
He then goes on to rant about how awful her job is, complimenting her dedication and mental control. This is reiterated again in 27 when he tells Solar and Dawn about his actual abilities. He says something along the lines of him being a potential threat and, as a ruler, it is her duty to find and mitigate potential threats.
This fear really only exists until his trip to Canterlot (Chapter 28), after which he's a little untrusting of government in general, but only because government is, by definition, an authority that has power over his life. He does, after all, discuss approaching both Emerald and Haze with his sire literally right after the meeting with his lawyers. One works at the state-run clinic, the other is the second in command of the town guard. He actually does approach them in the very next chapter, which takes place the following Saturday, four days later and only didn't happen sooner because of travel time, then the time it took to meet with Dawn to find the soonest they'd both be available.
Also worth noting, several times throughout the story Cure has voiced concern over Celestia as well. Specifically, on Nightmare Night he mentions to Haze and Dawn that he suspects Celestia has a martyr's complex and that she punishes herself either because of something going wrong in the past (Luna, obviously) or because she feels like she needs to keep "earning" the right to be unaging/immortal. He also said something similar when he was ribbing his dam in Chapter 18 about how he would like to send Celestia "special" edibles.
So, yeah. I don't know if I just did a poor job throughout the story making it clear or if folks have simply jumped to conclusions based on the fact that Cure is, overall, a very paranoid pony (which is pointed out by Title in 41). I don't think Cure has ever said a single directly negative thing about the princess.
11461815
Only if she knows he exists, and even then she may have run away from Equestria already.
11461926
Oh, absolutely. He's being a total asshole about the whole thing, sort of. I don't particularly have a problem with people legally exploiting loopholes and taking advantage of ways to avoid taxes (again, legally) as long as they're not also the ones making the rules. Also, this is just a preliminary "Here's what you can expect" meeting. He won't get an actual bill until after March and he doesn't even need to pay until the end of June, so Title getting on his case, poking him, calling him a nightmare, etc. All completely justified.
Not that I'm defending his behavior, but I have seen people that go from earning 30-40 grand a year finally get a job paying 2-3 times that and, believe me, this is exactly how a couple of them reacted. Some of them freaked out when they saw the very first paycheck where that Federal and State withholding is approximately what their old net pay was.
I was sorely tempted to use historical tax rates, which went clear up into the 70% range for a while, but those kind of tax rates, in my opinion, kill progress and I would struggle to have Cure, as he is, not say "Well fuck that, I'll only see one client every week if they're gonna take two thirds of my earnings." Also, I think the taxes were high like that mainly because of WWI; the years line up. Equestria's military budget should be small, so if the tax rate was really high "Where is it going?" might be a legitimate question. Even if someone is an asshole it doesn't automatically mean they're wrong, sadly.
In this same chapter there's a part about being handed a "golden ticket" being a new experience and he's also struggling to keep his ego in check. Cure won't turn into some xianxia fop screaming "Don't you know who I am?!" but, and be honest with me here, if you went from "average dude" to "you are literally the greatest X the world has ever seen!" then would you not probably at least struggle with that as well?
11461961
The united states tax code is a fucking mess, but here's a bit of math for what you're actually looking at.
40% tax rate on a progressive (tiered) method of taxation does not mean you lose 40% of your income unless you're making enough money that the system isn't equipped to handle you.
Let's suppose for the sake of simplicity there exist 5 tax brackets and we'll make them multiples of 10 for ease of calculation.
1,000 bits and below: 0%
1,000 - 2,000 bits: 10%
2,000 - 3,000 bits: 20%
3k-4k: 30%
4k+: 40%
Now let's further suppose that 1k bits is enough to receive all basic survival needs, basic humanities, and a few small luxury purchases. So let's say you make 5,000 bits in one tax period. How much of your income do you retain? If you said '60%' you'd be wrong! The number is actually 80%; you have a 20% effective tax rate. How? Pretend we don't have one income, pretend we have one income per tax bracket and we fill them up from the least to most.
Before calculation:
0%: 1,000
10%:1,000
20%: 1,000
30%: 1,000
40%: 1,000
Total: 5,000
After calculation:
0%: 1,000
10%: 900
20%: 800
30%: 700
40%: 600
Total: 4,000
So what did I mean about 'system isn't equipped to handle you'? Well the highest tax bracket is supposed to represent 'extremely profitable, as much money than any one person should be expected to make'. So let's say you make 10,000 bits instead. Then that breaks down to:
0%: 1,000
10%: 900
20%: 800
30%: 700
40%: 3,600
Total: 7,000
Effective tax rate: 30%. The more money you make over the expected maximum, the more your effective tax rate approaches (but will not reach) the maximum tax rate.
Of course in reality it's never really linear like this, and the calculations are never this pretty, but in a well-regulated and benevolent government I would expect it to be as straight forward as possible, and the 'untaxed' range to meet all of an individual's reasonable needs. And in said well-regulated, benevolent government, I would expect that unless you are abusing something or someone (or many such some things or some ones) the only way you're able to make that much prosperity is because of the baseline that government guarantees.
11461968
Tax spoiler. I was not going to include this in the story directly and I will NOT be writing much about money so don't worry about the multiple comments on the subject.
I planned for 1000 bit tiers with the first having a 0% tax rate, going up by 4% per until 10000, then everything being at 40% from there on out.
So, 0-1k, 0%
1-2k, 4%, etc. up to 9-10k at 36%, then 10k+ at 40%.
I swear this was an accident, but that makes both the 18% his parents quoted almost dead on AND, surprisingly, based on the info Even has right now, the "one third" she suggested is damn near spot on too.
11461917
Sure, tax reduction isn't a crime but taxes are important for maintaining a society under the present USA system, and presumably the one in Equestria too. Cure's on his way to being super rich though, so trying to reduce taxes becomes morally questionable as soon as you pass above the national average wealth. The further above you are the worse it gets. Corporations having such massive ways to avoid taxes the citizens can't take advantage of is... bad.
I can get why he's thinking it, but that was probably his most 'human' moment so far, lol
I loved this chapter. I really enjoy when Cure shows his more human/alien side, and taxes are just a small but fun way to do it. I'm intrigued to see what he'll do in the future to avoid being taxed 😂
11461968
Yep, in the USA after a certain amount you are taxed higher to make up for the money you "saved" in the lower brackets bringing all your taxation to the higher rate. Of course after a certain amount you also stop paying social security tax...
Frankly I am surprised they go up to 40% in Equestria. They don't seem to have the level of services that a modern economy has, and the USA didn't even have an income tax until World War 1. Equestria in my eyes with a 40% top tax rate, and the lower-middle class paying 18%, would end up with so much money going to the crown and not being sent back down that the economy would tank due to lack of liquidity, and massive deflation.
11461917
It feels like a lottery winner complaining about how they won 500 million dollars and they'll only get to keep half of it as if half of it wasn't already an insane amount of money, which does regularly happen but still.
My main complaint seems to be the backtracking seems to undermine his good guy character as he didn't want to charge for healing.
And as Snow mentioned the money actually seems to be being reasonably well spent which even surprises cure that they actually operate in the black.
11461961
Which would again undermine his good guy character if that included healing and completely ignore that 1/3rd of what he's making is still several times more than any other job he could probably get would pay.
Even as it is it seems a reasonable question, what do the taxes pay for?
In most fics equestria has free healthcare as in cure would be getting paid by the state, instead he's donating his time.
I love how this fandom ca use ponies as a base for an in depth debate on the US's taxes system.
As a french, i can give you an other perspective,
The French rates for the income tax are as follows:
0 % under 10 777 €;
11 % between 10 777 € and 27 478 € ;
30 % between 27 478 € and 30 000 € ;
45 % over 30 000 € .
sources Here (in french)
But you must account for other taxes that are taken on your paycheck making a big difference between your salary "brut" (what your employer pay) and the salary "net" (what you get in your bank account) .
So in the end, our taxation is higher, but we get a some very useful advantages from it:
a social security net for unemployment, an universal social security for medical needs and and some OK infrastructures for our roads, trains and electricity grid (not so much for our nuclear power plant that are getting olds and need urgent care).
I hope this can give you a useful glimpse of another country's perspective.
I think if you've ruled as a benevolent dicator for 900 years then bowing is kinda the least you're owed.
I can relate, Even! Ya try to treat every customer equally well, but some are such a PITA you really hope they’ll be someone else’s problem next time!!!
Ffs, I swear no matter how old I get, fart jokes still get me laughing..... pretty sure it's because I'm a guy lol
I have never been more jealous of a fictional character before!
It should be starts here.
*HP wants to know your location*