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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Very nice, as usual.
Brilliant yet again
More lovely Cure shenanigans and conversations. Though he shows he true potential of villainy: Rules lawyering the Princess herself.
I had ylthe thought that he could probably disable or remove someone else's internal organs, like the digestive system, the individual would probably be pretty compliant if they need to eat but physically can't.
visibly
dives
No complaints here about the long chapters, they have all been quite fun. While Mondays wont be quite the same without a little life finding a way have a good trip in May.
Cure bun for the kill... Loved that part
This story is just an absolutely perfect mix between awesomeness, slow-burn, morbidness, action, smugness, and wholesomeness, It's addicting and I have to pinch myself not to drop everything to read any newly released chapter.
Overall more awesome horse words but I do feel it's a little odd that Cure didn't even argue being told "no, you will have no part in getting your trees back or finding out who is behind stealing them" and just shrugged and went back to his day, that felt kind of off for how he's acted in the past.
Not like it's bad necessarily just seems a little out of character.
Anyway taking a break is totally fine, you should take all the time you need, I know how hard it is to just get the time to sit down and write (I keep getting delayed on my own story) so yeah, have a break, we will still be here when you get back
Cure "Gigachad" Wave has left the bedroom...
*13,000 words*
"Ah, a short chapter"
Solar didn’t come to the show? Makes sense. Probably worn out. Lucky bstrd is right! Lol
The fillies are starting to mac on our hero harder.
That Sonic Squee!
Another gift for the LT: super smell. I wonder how the guard competition is going to go. Haven’t seen the Baltimare team’s gains recently. I can see Cure placing bets with the castle’s captain: all events to Baltimare over castle, 10:1? 100:1?
I’m super excited for Saturday!! (Next Monday irl) Take your time, author. Excellence gets rewarded. I wonder what other nuggets Cure will get from the Boss or that he may drop? Maybe she’s got some changeling organic samples in storage? Maybe a snide comment about the two alicorns on the national flag? Maybe something about the moon or a future opportunity for the Boss to sleep in while someone else takes care of the sun briefly?
Celestia's reaction when seeing cure out of the box
I am super excited to finish the canterlot arc of this next week, I cannot wait.
Take all the time you need off to relax, unwind and enjoy yourself. Don't burn yourself out for no reason because if you do and this story gets abandoned i will cry
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Oh he's not happy about it, but with the, more or less, boss of the entire planet and, more importantly, his parents insisting? I know, story-wise, it would probably be more entertaining to have him go all Punisher and whatnot, but going that route would be a massive deviation from my "realistic" approach. He is only eight after all.
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"Well no wonder he's hungry. He went in there before our shift started and wore the princess out so bad she had to send for her second in command for to bring her breakfast. She couldn't even get out of bed! Kinda rude she didn't have him brought any, though."
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Solar was a "maybe" if Heavy couldn't stomach it. It's not like they couldn't have gotten tickets, or even slapped armor on him to be part of the princess's detail, even if only unofficially, but he certainly owes Star some together time.
awesome brilliant chapter once more cant get enough of this story
the bunny prank part was hilarious
and the mention from the princess point of view about possible accention'S slap'd me totally of guard, like "what?!?"
royal sonic squeal xD
Royal Canterlot Squee. Love it.
Thanks for the update!
Did we just witness a pancake-ception? Cure gets the idea for smiley face pancakes from Ed’s memories when Celestia makes them for Luna in the cartoon, Celestia gets the idea from Cure… which came first???
Amazing chapter!
Let me tell you now, that I'm absolutely awful with writing compliments, so please, don't take those two words as something I have ready to send to every author.
I've been rereading your story lately and I have a few questions if you don't mind answering them. I'm asking now, because I don't think that stuff will be mentioned later in the story
That's Megan Williams from G1 isn't it? Can you tell whether it is just some easter egg or something you have plans about sometime far in the future? Because it's gonna drive me nuts.
In the beginning of the story, Cure could send a beam of magic using his hoof. Since spells can be cast by freely shaping magic (if I understood correctly, that is), couldn't well trained earth ponies cast weak spells using their hooves?
Also, have you read story called "Mother of Learning"? That magic shaping stuff and Cure's shapeshifting ability really remind me of some stuff that was in it.
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Oh don't get me wrong, I'm not the type to get whiney if a story doesn't have enough action, your slow burn approach is great, I wish I could write as well and as fast as you do so I hope I'm not accidentally coming across negatively (yay autism and text making intended tone hard to show ).
All those are fair points, I think it was more that there didn't seem to be any indication that he wasn't happy with it, he just seemed to shrug and move on after thinking about it for the last 2 days (longer on the identity part) and after the extreme anger he showed for minor inconveniences in the past not having any reaction just seemed a little odd, even if was just a thought or something, of course, I didn't expect him to blow up like he has before, that would even more out of character than having no reaction like he did.
It's a nitpick but your writing is at a level where minor stuff jumps out when it feels off since everything else is (as you say) rather realistic.
Anyway sorry for the long ass comment, I'm loving the story and I hope I'm not coming across negatively, I'm aiming for well intended constructive criticism so I hope that's how it reads outside my head and if not then I do apologise.
not and like are swapped
It is always a blast to read, Wordsmith. Even if the upcoming chapter will be book-length too!
I can't wait to see if you get to utilise Celestia's inherent love for jokes. C&C duo master jokers when?
I like seeing Cure start to crack more... in the definitely-not-Edward department. I am surprised none are giving him worried or suspicious looks when he spouted 'ten years'.
Heck yeah, I love these huge chapters. Thanks for the update! I'm going to be sad when Cure leaves Canterlot, because his interactions with the Princess are so much fun.
The "tube of toothpaste" bit also had me cracking up.
Yeah, I hope you don't keel over. Besides it being the obvious thing to want, I checked this other author in the last few days after realising he hadn't posted a chapter in a while, only to find he hasn't logged in in months with no explanation.
I'm a bit paranoid at the moment, I guess.
Celestia, the Canterlot elite don't want you to know this, but the
Cure'sBunicorns you find in the Royal Gardens, you can just take them home, nopony can stop you.In all seriousness, a very cute chapter with what Cure was doing (as usual) and I love how Celestia was taking this in stride, well, as in stride as can be expected. The Royal Canterlot Squee was a nice addition as well.
As for the section with Solar, poor guy never knew what hit him, kinda funny to be honest. Sounds like he needs more upgrades.
And the trees, I'm surprised Cure ISN'T on the list to get them back, even in disguise. I'm quite impressed with the foresight to just have the royal guard with an upgrade in smell to go do it. Makes sense too. It's really quite nice to see other characters and groups do something competent besides just the Main Character in a novel.
Thanks for the continuation !
The shenanigans have been very entertaining and enjoyable. I have to admit the idea that Cure would need to save the Wonderbolts is an entertaining idea, I would like to see them interact with Cure and Co. but, perhaps another time.
(Thank you for the reminder that you are not disappearing without a plan to return.)
This is probably the most fun celestia's had in a while.
Laughed myself dizzy at the Royal Canterlot Squee.
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The eggs
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Going Punisher on them? Eh... I see Cure leaning heavily towards a slightly-less-than-lethal Deadpool since he's almost impossible to outright kill and full of fun chaos.
I wonder if Cure was kinda let down, briefly, that none of the typical cartoon shenanigans happened at the Wonderbolt exhibition? This leads me to think how "extreme" some FiM episodes could really be when played in a more realistic light.
Good chapter!
Thanks for the heads up and enjoy your break. 👍
>>Cure visits the Assembly in colt form
"I hear you wanted me brought before you..."
>>Alicorn mode enable, RCV activate
"WELL, HERE I AM!"
His decision to ignore them altogether is a more agreeable power move, to be sure.
And he can always gatecrash them later.
I think I can speak for everyone when I say take all the time you need. While I eagerly read every new chapter and enjoy the world you're crafting immensely, if you're crafting it at the expense of your own mental health/personal life, I know I couldn’t enjoy it as much. So please, there's no rush. As Rarity would say, you cannot rush perfection . Trust me, we aren't going anywhere, so take your time
----------------------------
-------------------------------
Shrinking pupils is usually for when a pony is afraid, at least in the show. It's up to you but I think dilating pupils would make more sense.
------------------------------
*You will
or maybe
*You, young colt, will
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Yeah what they said... but if the upvotes are more than the downvotes then you are not allowed to leave by democratic vote and by popular demand.
JK, stay safe and have fun!
What I want to know is: how did Cure look like and sound like Sunny without scanning the princess. To get the vocal chords just right must have taken a huge amount of trial and error. Or, did he scan her and I missed it?
About the depleting chapter buffer...
May I suggest that you have "filler episodes." Just small/shorter chapters of slice of life stuff. These can be mixed in on the weeks that you would normally take a break. Just schedule them to auto post (if that's a thing).
Things like, "A day in the life of..."
Sgt. Bulwark, Amethyst, Dawn (when not around Cure), the hospital staff, any side character.
Or follow one of Cure's patients after a cosmetic procedure. Did it have the desired affect? Or did a bigger butt, more colorful wings, etc. cause undesirable consequences?
Something episodic instead of keeping with the timeline.
You can use it to further world-build and they can be as short as 1-3k words.
Anyway, just a suggestion to fill in the weeks where you get a break with something easy to write. And your audience so gets "something" every week.
Also, I don't mind if you break up huge chapters. Breaking up a 20k word chapter into two 11k chapters is something I (and I think a lot of your audience) would prefer over having you worry and get writer-burnout.
Yes, somehow breaking up chapters adds extra words!
Maybe I'm paranoid about foreshadowing, but I do find it a little odd that there's an ant being pointed out specifically, in cloudsdale, inside the sound bubble while they're discussing his powers, in the same chapter that they have official confirmation that changelings are a thing?
Eh, I'm sure I'm just seeing things
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Well, he did produce spiders back at the zoo, a single ant would be easy. Though, what a dark fate that ant had:
Ant: "Greetings God, for what purpose have you created me for?"
*Charlie Brown's Mother's talking noises*
"Forgive me God, I'm afraid I do not understand."
*gets blown away*
"WHY GOD?!?! WHAT HAve I done to displease you?!?!......"
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waaa wahh.
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I think the implication here us a more metaphorical foreshadowing than literal
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When ever I feel drained of inspiration I watch old movies and cartoons from the 80s and 90s. Like "Ice Pirates" "all the Different Dune movies" etc.
Those old movies felt fresh, like they were a shot in in the dark, grasping for a moment of spotlight and fame.
I would worry any of the custom bunnies or other pets would wind up in the menagerie of the spoiled Veruca Salt’s and Diamond Tiara’s of Equestria. Considering that the nobility already has their noses up in the air there’s bound to be some spoiled privileged brats
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And the thing is that ant does not even have the intelligence to question anything at all.
Ant workers just do as they are told and never question anything ever.
I had a MLP story dream... Finally. I've only been pickling my brain in FimFiction for over two years now.
So I had a dream about the time when Cure flexed at the rodeo. Except when the Announcer called out for him to flex for the audience the Pokemon Red (original) battle music started playing. Deed grabbed his son and curled him into a ball and shouted "Cure I choose you!"
Of course he chucked Cure into the arena, who stuck the landing like the champ he is. Rearing up on to his hind legs he waved his fore hooves in the air shouting "Cure Wave!"
And then this happened:
Deed: "Cure! Use Flex!"
Cure: "Cuuuuuurrrrrree WAVE" *Proceeds to Chad Flex*
The Announcer: "The mares and fillies in the audience Swoon!"
The Announcer: "It's SUPER EFFECTIVE!"
The Announcer: "The Females' Defense was lowered!"
*Glacial walked into the arena*
The Announcer: "Glacial has joined the battle!"
*She flutters her wings and bats her eyelashes at Cure*
Glacial: "Glace~"
The Announcer: "Glacial uses ATTRACT!"
*Cure's head whips around to stare and his neck cracks loudly followed by him wincing and rubbing his neck.*
The Announcer: "Critical Hit!"
The Announcer: "IT'S Supper Effective!"
The Announcer: "Cure hurts himself in the confusion!"
*Glacial fully spreads her wings out. Cure's eyes bug out and he passes out*
The Announcer: "Cure Wave Fainted!"
*Pokemon Battle victory music plays while Glacial pronk/prances and Dawn huffs in the background with her forelegs crossed. I swear I saw her say "Baka."*
And that's when I woke up. I was very confused and had to replay what I remembered of the dream before I started chuckling.
Sunset Candance and Twilight Celestia saw them in her visions.
Two out of three became alicorns well three if you count Sunset getting wings on Earth.
Sunset Shimmer Orphan filly raised by the Unconquered Sun Hellishly powerful Magicly and an Empath in the most toxic environment possible for an empath to be raised in.
Oh good lord... The 1,000+ year old Goddess ruler of Equestria and stewardess of the sun herself, acting all excited as a little filly would never fails to put a smile on my face and make me at least chuckle a bit.
Lord knows after everything Sunbutt has been through (like having to fight and banish her own little sister) she could use the chance to unwind just a bit and act a little more as a normal pony would.
It's as Cure said to Celestia in a previous chapter: "heavy is the head."
The first time I read this it didn't click just how ominous that instant switch from talking about killing ponies to yelling about popcorn and Cracker Jacks is. Cure is putting of some serious psychopath vibes right there. I hope hes just going for dark humor there and not letting his powers get to him.
You know, now that I know what you were building up to, the fact that he keeps hammering this point home throughout the whole trip leading up to it is hilarious.