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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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đź‘Ť
Glad to see yer alive and well! Defo surprised at the chapter drop! I would say poor Tia...buuuuut glad she managed to loosen up and live a little, even if she was amusingly beat in a drinking competition.
See ya on your next chappy drop!
Had to do a double take when I saw the NSFW portion pop up, missed the lil bit about the princess teleporting and thought she was about to get the D from Deed. Blegh.
I'm happy it took you so long to put anything even remotely lewd In the story at all to be honest, yeah sure lewd stuff is fun. But it's a lot better when it has an actual reason to be there than 'just cause I wanted it' although, flustering Celly with lewd remarks from Cure does make me smile that cheshire grin!
Well, that was an unexpected addition to my day.
Incredible. It's a pretty simple joke, but it's really funny regardless.
This was a pleasant surprise. I bet a few of the guards at least connected ye olden speak to a drunk princess regardless of her disguise.
dam those two are aggressive/demanding :D
sound's like the boss lady had a lot of fun and cure got the biggest snuggle pile,
did i count that right about 15 foals in one sleeping pile
Nice, a surprise chapter!
One minor issue though:
Last chapter:
Thursday, June 18th, 909 AB (6 days later)
This chapter:
Thursday, June 20th, 909 AB (Approx. 30 hours later)
Apparently Thursdays last at least 48 hours in Equestria! The more you know!
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D'oh! It should be Saturday. I probably copied & pasted w/o changing it. Oops.
Thanks, fixed!
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Ladies basically run the show in ponyland.
There's the usual nine (Crosswind, Cure, Dawn, Delta, Ferric, Heavy, Glacial, Rising, and Sapphire) plus six younger sisters: Cherry Tart, Lotus Bloom, Frigid Gaze (Glacial's), Swirling Leaf (Crosswind's), Fall Thunder, and Summer Cloud (both of Heavy's sisters).
Heavy does have another young sister, but she's Savvy's age so she would have been with her folks in a crib. So yeah, 15.
Not my fave chapter (NSFW) part only.
You could of followed Princess Celestia talking about the party she want to
& or cure and his friends after the exchange.
The (sex tag) is enuff with How cure talks, thoughts, & his joke
All u needed to do is jeast keep what your doing and like. Loud Moaning and Lewd Talking between theam. And wean cure wakes up seeing deeds (boom mic) standing proud.
You know, I think this is the first chapter in the entire story where Cure isn't the main POV.
Does this mean we might get different POV outside of clop scenes in the future?
Don't worry about devolving into constant clop scenes. Your story has much more too it than just that. Unless you are subtly asking us to make sure you don't devolve instead?
For a first time clop scene, this is pretty well made. The fact that you are able to churn out a lot of words, remain coherent, and full of details despite your experience being from book reports, I would think you are a real savant.
You know I remember when my younger sister was born, I had some wild nightmares of something bad happening to her.
Yikes, not only wild chapter but also steamy one...
nothing like a chapter drop to improve my mood.
I'll split my view on it into 2:
SFW - love seeing Cure and the new foals and the whole Celestia part, it's nice to see her as a mare and not a divine god, with Cure going a long way to help her hangover
NSFW - i love a good clop story from time to time when it's done right and not the main point of the story. the fic is already M rated and we had implied NSFW before, in the end when you mention Boa MK I, you got to use it later on at some point, more so when you have Cure made Deed 2.0 improved Earth stallion... nothing wrong with it and those who don't want to read it don't have to. but with all the facts we know, more so as cure isn't the cure little foal he looks like, and had kids in old life, i see no wrong of taking a healthy part of life and excluding it
That Clean Deed is one funny hoss.
Cure definitely missed a chance to mess with the princess, but it’s probably for the best to avoid messing with her when she’s not inebriated. Good choice, Cure.
Thank you for the early chapter!!
Damn! Certainly wasn't expecting this, that said, I am pleasantly surprised. Got no criticism to offer unfortunately, I think it was well written, much like the rest of the story.
I'm always happy to see an update from you LFOD, have a good two weeks. I look forward to seeing the chapter on the 18th.
An unexpected—but not unwelcome—treat, to be sure. The NSFW kinda surprised me, though.
Interesting. From this chapter, I have learned that celestia is a happy drunk, and clean deed forgot to turn off his swagger and woke up covered in mares. Just like his son. The apple certainly doesn't fall far from the tree.
I was not expecting an update today It was nice to see what's up even tho it's a shorter chapter.
The NSFW part was a big surprise to me it made me conflicted I wanted to see what cure dose but the first true NSFW I needed to see it.
Good work LFOD can't wait until the coronation!
I skipped the clop. It wasn't integral to the story. I feel like if it's not where the story is going, or if it doesn't provide character development or otherwise need to go there, it just feels… I dunno, I just didn't feel like reading it.
Huh, was NOT expecting a new chapter. Welcome all the same though.
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I skipped it too.
I prefer the more fade to black style we had earlier in chapters. Talking about it is fine to me though.
I will not begrudge it for others though, it's just not for me.
bruh didnt need the sex scene the story is fine the way it is
As always, you provide another great chapter.
Your story is great. Keep up the good work.
As I'm, not a fan of the more sexual related stuff. I thankyou for the warning prompt in story, so I can skip it.
Unlike a few others who skipped the end, I read the entire chapter.
Also, having read the author's note, I am prepared to give my constructive feedback.
I routinely enjoy clop. Straight porn has it's place, but stories that involve love and romance, and then take it further to clop really "do it for me."
The scene in this chapter felt like it was just added on "because." And that's what you said you did... (I'll paraphrase it) "there was an opportunity to reinforce the M rating."
So the scene felt like an afterthought. There wasn't a good reason for it.
The scene also broke away from the "show, don't tell" type of story telling you usually write. It felt more like "he insert rod P into slot V."
I think what was really missing was the internal monologue that we normally get from the main character of the story.
Cure usually has his own thoughts and feelings about what's going on. During the scene, there wasn't much of that, if any at all. I think because you're not used the switching the entire story to have a character other than Cure be the lead.
I felt like Deed needed to be the main character during the scene, and it never came across like he ever was.
To sum up:
Fully comit to switch the entire story's PoV to a character participating in the screen. Get in their head, describe what they're thinking, and why they are doing "stuff."
Have a good reason for the scene to take place: describe the romantic reason that the characters involved want to express that romance in the most physical way possible... or describe how cathartic that hate-fuck session was for the characters. There can be any number of reasons to have clop in a story, please avoid the reason "because I can."
Suggestion:
Try having a chapter of this story dedicated specifically to a character other than Cure to the point that Cure is not even in the chapter at all. It would be a terrific reason to add more slice-of-life to your slice-of-life story.
For example, have a chapter that follows Celestia during her night out with Cure's family. Get in her head, let's find out what she was thinking trying to out drink everyone and why she was convinced to sing, along with any other shenanigans.
Good chapter. The porn was good for a first time, but in this setting it might have made more sense for Cure to simply find himself unable to avoid the dirty talk by some means. Or maybe having Cure noticing something that make him sick. Lol
To follow up on my thoughts on that, if the one involved was Cure himself, it'd be totally 100% fair game and I'd probably read it. I don't expect you to make that happen any time soon in-story. His harem is going to get a touch weird when some of them are pubescent. Nothing they can't handle after talking it out.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CURE!!! Finally 9 years old, what a year!
RIP Cyndi, may Ed never forget you.
Drunk Celestia sounds like fun, kinda wish we got to see more.
I would have to sort of agree with some of the criticisms for the NSFW (not safe for Woona) portion, it feels a little out of place and or incomplete. Imagine Celestia teleports back into the room “I just wanted to grab some more bread and to thank you for your discretion and… allowing me… to join… the festivit… OH! never mind, sorry for interrupting” as she teleports back out. Even if, or especially if, Deed and the ladies don’t even notice her
This chapter nearly snuck by me, what a fun surprise. I had dropped back as far as the first trip to Canterlot and meeting the lawyers while rereading the story, pacing myself to catch back up just before the 18th. Thanks for the update LFOD!
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I recall the Bunlestia portion was a Celestia POV and the carriage ride to the WonderBolts show was Deed POV, boarding the train was Heavy’s, but Cure was present and interacting in those. Solar and Emerald had a scene after meeting Cure as pegasus Riddle, and there are a couple other little bits as seen by others (G Grandparents meeting Serpentus) but you may be right that the NSFW portion may be the first completely Cure free experience. That could explain the disconnect myself and others seem to have with it…
And, finally, a little puzzled at Cure and Titles “you going to do it?” comment. Probably something that will become clear as the balance of the chapter/ day happen on the 18th…
Seems like the cure can see magic plot thread got dropped. I don't know if it was addressed and I forgot or what but it has been like 60 chapters since it was mentioned.
Finally reached the last posted chapter... it was an amazing 2 weeks of reading to get here. This story is a great read and hard to put down. Makes it difficult to read before bed and get the sleep I need.
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Ah...then yea it was probably in ww1
it was really nice when there was a new chapter every week, now I force myself to be patient waiting for new chapters.
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Agreed! I’ve had a rough week and have to laugh at myself thinking “Monday can’t come soon enough!”
Huh. Neat.
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Would have been even better to show the scenes at the bar from the POVs of Cure's parents and/or Celestia.
In a way, it was rather sad to not have such.
Naturalist Ancestor of Fluttershy *whispering*: "...and here we have the matriarchal alpha alicorn in her natural environment, cleverly employing her chameleon skills to avoid attracting attention from the other denizens of the prairie, as she engages in an aggressive alcohol imbibing match, challenging several rivals........ OH! It would appear that she has met her match! What an unexpected development! HOW will she be able to maintain her dominance over the herd after this!? "
Hooray, we did it, guys! đź‘Ź
Good to see the Princess on her road to family.