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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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From looking at the bench or which perspective is that?
Reminds me of my Mega Horn designs.
media3.giphy.com/media/2S3Aj8OeKtf0c/giphy.gif
11435285
Tweaked a little to be clearer. From their perspective, Solar is on Dawn's left side, Cure is on her right from her PoV. Fixed the "eight y/o" typo. "Read In" is correct. It means that he's been made aware of something that's not publicly known. I'm not 100% sure that "He's retired guard" is incorrect, but I changed it because adding "a" is definitely not wrong. Like, if someone retires from a military branch saying "He's retired Navy" is, I think, grammatically correct.
Just gotta say, this story is quite fun. A unique feel compared to most stories, digging into how things would work from an in depth digging perspective, and the author notes for this chapter, just owning mistakes and the like to keep the flow going is pretty cool. Letting the story kinda take you where it will.
Here's to more neat story dear author, and a thanks for sharing this story with us.
-- free rein
Don't worry about the OP nature of the main character. It's what makes this story interesting. Humans with ideas on how to use magic that a pony growing up in magical pony world wouldn't have considered is a great way to handle magic, and you're doing it in a way that's not really affecting the world. (Having the human come in and fix all the problems in the canon plot line typically doesn't work as a story.)
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If "The Guard" is the official name of the service then yes, saying "He's retired Guard" is correct. But both ways work in this instance, although technically the fully correct (aka formal writing correct) form would be to say either "He's retired Guard" or "He's a retired Guardspony" as one refers to the service and the other refers to a specific job/position.
Also, I agree with Solar, Don't tell 'em more than you have to, especially if you don't want to be on 'all' the watch lists.
Thanks for the update!
Cure getting his troll on this chapter, I almost feel sorry for Solar. Can’t wait to see what happens next.
My future Cure x Celestia ship has been burnt to the ground from the heat of Solar's ass. Cock.
Being able to almost completely alter your body would be amazing for pranks. He's got more potential for espionage than a changeling too, imagine being able to perfectly imitate someone once you got their scan. Cure could infiltrate anywhere with decent planning.
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Well, anyone of roughly equivalent mass at any rate.
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I'm thinking more the long game here when he's grown up, if he wanted to be smaller he could just take mass away, I dunno about bigger, but he will have more magic to work with so I guess we'll find out.
I don't know why, but my mind went to Metal Gear Rising:
Solar, while firing spell after spell "WHY WON'T YOU DIE?!"
Cure, while walking up the range towards him "Biomancy son!"
Love the lore building with the science of magic you are developing. I am honestly very interested in seeing how Cure meeting Celestia is going to go since that will likely happen in the next few chapters I would wager.
When you mentioned the height of griffins I would like to point out that full grown griffins were about twice the size of full grown ponies which seems to be the case for many other races too, they are called little ponies for a reason.
I think he said his old wife's name out loud early in the chapter. I don't remember you having cure tell them about his old memories.
Awesome chapter
11435607
Wait... what? Is that accurate? In The Lost Treasure of Griffonstone none of the griffons are much bigger than Dash and Pinkie. The Arimaspi dude is bigger. Are you sure you're not mixing them up? Or is this a Comic thing? The search I did showed the griffons coming up to about the same spot on Celestia as most ponies or a tad higher. Gabby is just a little bigger than the Crusaders. If there's some unusually large griffon then maybe it's kinda like the goliath earth ponies, but I don't see any indicator that a typical griffon should be much larger than a unicorn.
11435587
Thanks! It will happen, but probably not as soon as everyone expects. First off, there has to be an actual reason to summon Cure. Canterlot isn't just a thirty minute flight away. A legit reason will be coming up in a few chapters, but the end of the year is coming up too, and that tends to be a busy time for government. There also needs to be time for the various reports to get compiled and analysts to do their thing before they would let a walking biohazard within spitting distance of the boss lady.
Also, the chapters are long and I think it's easy to forget that very little real time is passing with each one. At the end of this chapter we're only 5 weeks out from the story start (exactly 35 days, in fact) and only four days from when ANYONE official gets first word of a new biomanipulator popping up.
11435655
I think you must have misread something. "Cyndi" hasn't shown up since the talk about couches back in 29. Cure's parents know her name, but he's definitely not said a peep about his memories to anyone else... unless I really biffed somewhere.
Anyhow, thanks for all the comments, everyone! I'm glad you're all enjoying the story.
I can't wait to see Cure doing some actual work in the hospital.
Patient: "Give it to me straight, doc. How bad is it?"
Doctor: "There's nothing we can do. You have a few weeks left to live at most before your heart gives out completely. I'm sorry."
Cure: "Actually, I just fixed it. Good as new. Would you like me to grow you a second heart as a backup?"
Doctor: "Wut."
Patient: "Wut."
I love the story so far, especially the details you put into your magic system <3 I doubt you're going to use the mirror pool, but how would it work in your system? Would it make magical constructs, or would clones have fully material bodies?
I have no idea what you based the TK field on, but since it was possible to use it as a raincoat, would it be possible to decrease friction and skate on every surface?
Also, earth pony magic really reminds me of nen from Hunter x Hunter
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Well then who was the one who also said he could be trained? It was a human's name
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Amethyst Blossom AKA Amy. She's Lemon Sweet's wife and Lotus' dam.
It doesn't matter too much if or when a character gets overpowered. As long as you can recognise and respect what it could do and mean, you'll never cross the "edgy", "cringe", or "Mary/Gary Sue" archetype.
From what we have read so far, and it is a lot more than the average fan fiction, especially when we are still technically in 'act 1' of the story, you've done a really decent job!
In all honesty? I think this could be the next "The Changeling of the Guard" kind of fame! I recommend setting up a patreon/kofi/etc kind of page because this fic is definitely high quality! The other fic even have a discord group that talks about the fic and other fic recommendations. I certainly would love to join this if you had one!
11436174
Off the top of my head I would assume some kind of magical construct. I would need to check the episode and see if any of the clones' actions would suggest otherwise, but that would be my first inclination over a purely biological clone.
Yes, the TK field would allow an earth pony to hover as long as the surface area on/above the ground is sufficient to push enough to counter gravity. I won't give away any spoilers unless I get to a point where I'm like "eh, I'll never manage to work this into a chapter" but I do have notes to do some more stuff with TK. In fact, here is one very minor spoiler for chapter 35 that I wrote and, for now, plan to keep: Cure will begin introducing TK tricks to the girls.
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I just gave a quick look over and they are not as big as I remembered but the fact is that most other races are larger.
This should be your in both cases I believe.
If Cure doesn't follow through with this idea exactly as stated on Nightmare Night I will be very disappointed. Just imagine the fun of a guard trainee having to explain that to the officers and then get hazed for it his entire career. Besides, Discord being released 90 years early wouldn't disrupt the time line that much would it?
I love op stories great so far thank u
I'm on the floor laughing. Was going: "He tuk ur jib!" To the point the family rooster did it in the backyard.
Lenny: You called
Yep, our predatory monkey brain has its Magic!
Early on after his memories had come in he’d promised himself not to deny his parents the opportunity to legitimately raise a foal in him????
Shouldn't it say raise me as a foal?
Putting a foal in a colt would be impossible right?
I feel like I missed something. I know they talked about Emerald apologizing at some point earlier in this chapter but now suddenly she has?
Don't know if I sent this to you or not. but TK tube remove air from tube, build high pressure behind it release pressure down tube. Instant high-speed cannon. https://youtu.be/cqidD7kVnxY
Doing a Superman swap, but no phone booths so restroom it is!
I SAID THAT IN ONE OF MY COMMENTS!
Cure has made enough discoveries to publish at least half a dozen papers by this point. Forget being a doctor, he's very obviously a researcher. Nah, both. He can be all the things!
"Cure, the princess of STEM!"