Don't write on two hours of sleep, trust me.

A story with an Anon and the methods he takes to dissuade the Princesses from asking him so many questions about his home and culture. Lacking the basic courtesy of a pony and definitely disregarding their pride in magic, this human drops to lows that are usually seen only in the most disgusting of humans.

Enjoy or not, I had fun writing this and it's more for my sanity than anything.
PS- No actual sex is in this story so calm yourselves.

Professional Reviews

"drunk/10 not bad" –NuclearWaffles21

"I'm seriously rock hard right now." –Rebel

"yeah the 3 children in my basement won't shut the fuck up" –Winter the Gimp

"This is both extremely stupid, and written in such a way that I expect your non-trolly-stories to not be extremely stupid." –bobbananaville

"I don't remember how I found this story, but it was weird, and I liked it." –Narlepoax III

”I like story! Is very good! Now you go to Gulag!” –Joseph Stalin

This story is a sequel to Celestia's New Assistant

He makes Discord look sane. Most ponies resent him. He is the most chaotic thing to ever live.

Will he save Equestria? Will he doom it? Will Citrus Fruit be involved? More then Likely. Beware, he is...The Human.

"I simultaneously want to know what's going through your head when writing this, and don't want to know what could inspire this." -Love the Changeling

"MOST. RANDOM. STORY. EVER." -jackofalltradez

"I mean... stare too long into the abyss and the abyss stares into you, and the abyss has skittles apparently" -ShadowsAndDust

"... at the forefront of our fandom’s writing scene ... Masterpiece." —PCaRG
"... really enjoyable ..." —City of Doors
"...worthy of high praise." —PaulAsaran
"Lots of wonderful world-building, great action, well-developed characters and an engaging story." —Hoopy McGee

Steel Song is a lot of things. Earth pony. Uncle. Professional bodyguard.

Retired.

So when he receives a mysterious package from Princess Luna a few weeks after the changeling invasion, he's understandably apprehensive. More-so when he presents himself before the Royal Diarchs to find that not only do they desire him to come out of retirement, but to take command of a most unusual position...

A position that may have more significance than any of them suspect. Because strange thefts are occurring on the Equestrian Railway, thefts that nopony can explain. Thefts that may have far more sinister intentions than their seemingly innocent nature may convey.

Intentions sinister enough to shift the balance of power in Equestria forever.

Book I of The Dusk Guard Saga.
Epic Fantasy
Has a collection of Side Stories as well, the first of which is here.
Now with a TV Tropes page!
"This is 100% Approved by Twilight's Library!"
Added to Twilight's Library 11/26/2013
Added to Canterlot's Finest 12/01/2013

MUA HA HA! I AM THE PINKSUIT, MASTER OF TROLLS!

I am Pinksuit, once human, now pink-humanesque blob running around messing with ponies for the hell of it. Hey, I'm here, might as well make some use of my Pinkie Pie-like reality messing up abilities.

[An Original Displaced Crackfic]

Anon likes his life to be simple. He wakes up, goes to work and sometimes gets himself a good book to read while he is home. It's a routine that he likes to follow, it makes him feel like he has a bit of normality with his life in Equestria. The fact that having Celestia come crashing into his home as part of his routine should prove that his life is anything but normal.

(Thanks to PeerImagination for editing!)

Discord has long been the last of his kind. Feeling lonely he searches for familiar creatures and finds some strange creatures that are an apparent subspecies of his, who knew?
These Homo Sapiens have long since left Equestria to start over for fun. Over time they lost their powers and began to make sense.
Most of them.
A small few still remember and know their origins. Or at least have an idea.
They came back.

Just a little mini-series on the antics of a few humans who come to Equestria.

Warning: the following story is my attempt to write a ghost story.

Filliedelphia's police were called to respond to a concerned call to investigate someone screaming at the Sanctuary Mental Hospital, a condemned lunatic asylum outside of the city. They quickly found that the supposedly haunted hospital not only contained three corpses, but a changeling that was strapped to a rotting bed, screaming his head off.

After identifying the bodies and picking up some clues, detective Hoof Print is called to interview the only living witness to the crime. Bringing his tape recorder with him, he begins the interview with the question: What was doing at the abandoned mental hospital to begin with?

Special thanks to Shadeol for proofreading.

Ripped from home with no explanation to a place that is both incredibly strange and eerily familiar. What world he walks on, what these creatures are, why he's here. There are many things Rajrishi does not understand about Equestria. He hopes to fix that.

But mostly he just wants to go home.

TTS Reading of the entire fiction: Courtesy of the FanFiction Reader on Youtube.

Character List: Courtesy of TruthHut (A work in progress)

Handy is not a happy man at the best of times.

He was even less happy to find himself in an alien world that offended the very laws of physics and got injured for his own stubborn refusal to accept the obvious path fate had apparently laid out for him.

For his trouble he is now on a journey, with the long term goal of finding his way back home, only to find himself involved in plots and machinations so far above his head and cares that he quickly becomes a pawn in a game played by powers who care not for his well-being.

Quite like his life back on Earth if you think about it.

Needless to say, Handy does not care for any of it. He is much more preoccupied with the more immediate and pressing mundane concerns of day to day life a human needs to worry about while in Equestria.

Obtaining a new pair of shoes for example.

All this and one almighty hangover, what's the worst that could happen?

Rated teen for harsh language and minor violence

Proofread by JBL, Jude and Usurper