• Published 9th Nov 2013
  • 14,564 Views, 969 Comments

Painted Mirror - Lord of Turtles



A solitary man trapped in a strange place for reasons he does not yet understand.

  • ...
41
 969
 14,564

PreviousChapters Next
A Different Kind of Nerd Stuff

The train ground to a halt in the station and relaxed onto its brakes with a hiss of steam. Spike bounded out of the door as it ratcheted open. He yelled over his shoulder “Come on Raj, we're gonna miss it.”

“It's a museum Spike, it's not going anywhere.” Raj said as he squeezed through the undersized door.

“You don't know that!” Spike shot back as he waddled off the platform.

Raj rolled his eyes and followed after, almost every pony on the platform giving him odd looks. He actively fought down his annoyance at that and reminded himself that the ponies of Manehattan didn't know anything about him. They were entitled to some gawking.

The pair went down the steps into a bustling square filled with hoof traffic. A loaded trolley chugged by, rocking gently as it hummed along the underground cable. Raj watched it go for a moment and was nudged no less than three times by busy ponies shoving their way past him. They launched some colorful profanity his way and he resisted the urge to shoot some back.

Spike ignored this and unfurled a map from his small pack. “Alright, the Manehattan Museum of History should be down this street a few blocks. You got the tickets?”

“You mean Twilight's membership pass?” He held up the little purple chit. “Yeah, I got it.”

“Great! This is going to be so much fun.” He hopped forward, proceeding with a light skip in his step. “Thanks again for coming with me Raj.”

“Thanks for inviting me Spike. I really needed to get out of the library for a few hours.”

“Running the tests with Twilight that bad?” Spike asked sympathetically.

He shook his head. “They're not great. There's a lot of work involved and Twilight is not the most gracious to her lab assistants.”

Spike gave him an arch look. “Really? You're telling me that?”

Raj grimaced. “Point. She's running the test again tonight. We should see it on our way back to Ponyville.”

“So what's different about this time?”

“She asked the princesses to move the sun and moon a bit to minimize signal interference.”

“Oh wow.” He said as he slid to a halt at a crosswalk. “Is that safe?”

“Probably not. I recommended not asking the local demigods to move celestial bodies for our convenience, but it would apparently bug her pretty bad if she didn't do everything she could in the name of clear results.” Raj shrugged. “She's not going to be able to run the test more than a few times more anyway. Most everyone has been objecting to the sky catching on purple-fire randomly.”

“I can see that. I thought it was super neat looking though.”

“It is super neat looking, but the Griffon kingdom apparently thought they were under attack and started a full mobilization. Didn't even know griffons were still around before that. Almost every city in this hemisphere asked that we quit doing that, but far less politely.”

“That's lame.”

Raj shrugged. “Not really. All the results we get just keep supporting the original conclusion. It's just more sure now.” He sighed and looked after a retreating taxi-rickshaw. “Like I said, this is technically good news. It means it's possible for me to return to my life, but I still have no idea how to do that and neither does anybody else.”

“Twilight will figure it out. She always does.” Spike said as they started crossing the street.

“Everyone keeps saying that, and I believe them but...” He trailed off and shook his head. “It's been, god, seven months now since I crashed through the portal. At some point I'm going to have to, well.” He stopped himself and waved a hand. “Nevermind Spike, I'm being a huge bummer right now. Sorry.”

“It's cool. I get it, this is important to you. I don't mind talking about it.”

“Thanks, but dwelling on it won't help anything. Anyway, we're just about there.” He pointed at the pillared structure with the iron statues out front.

Spike's face broke into a grin. “Oh, this is going to be so cool. The Captain Jolly Roger exhibit is only open for one month a year, and I'm finally going to see it!”

“It still can't believe Twilight wouldn't come see this with you.” He looked up at the banner strung between the pillars, proudly displaying the word “Pirates!” in stylized script with a notched cutlass as the exclamation point. “I thought she'd be ecstatic you were so interested in a figure from history.”

“Well, she sort of is.” He rolled his eyes to the side. “She doesn't like how, um, there's all these stories written about him. What's the word?”

“Romanticized?” Raj offered.

“That's it. She doesn't like how romanticized he is.”

“Well, you did originally read about him in a comic book where he got in a sword fight with Princess Luna. That's sounds pretty sensationalized to me.”

“That's what makes him so cool! Nopony knows much about him, and what is known goes against other stuff that's known. Nopony's even certain of what race he was. By some accounts, he was a pony, by others he was a griffin. Some ponies even think he was a dragon, like me! He's so mysterious, any of those stories could be true.” He paused. “Maybe that's why Twilight doesn't like him, that there isn't a lot of verifiable information about his life. She's prefer I like somepony more concrete.”

“I'd bet she doesn't like the fact that you like a criminal so much. The guy was a pirate, a sky pirate.”

“Yeah, before anyone else even thought to do that, before there were even laws against it. He was so cool, he broke the rules before they were rules.” Spike protested.

Raj laughed as they went up the steps to the broad entrance of the building. The ticket taker eyed the little dragon and the big human curiously before shrugging and stamping the pass. Spike danced in and gazed up at the replica ship's prow sticking out of the wall and anchored to the ceiling. He let out an excited giggle and started staring at the glass cases filled with pirate paraphenalia. Raj leaned over the little dragon and studied what looked to be a scale model of an odd looking skyship. “Is that Jolly Roger's ship?”

“Yup, that's the Vow of Poverty, or at least as somepony described it.”

Raj rolled his eyes towards his friend. “The ancient, infamous pirate king named his ship the Vow of Poverty?”

“Yup.”

Raj smiled and nodded his head. “Alright, I think I like this guy. Pretty cool.”

“Very cool Raj.” Spike corrected. “Come on, I want to see the rest of it.”

They attached themselves to a tour led by a mare with a high bun and matronly glasses perched on her muzzle. She brought them into a large room filled with glass cases showing creatures of all races dressed in gear for sailing or fighting at sea. Many of the attendants oohed and aahed, several camera flashes filling the space. Spike had Raj lift him up so he could get a good shot of a griffon mannequin in full privateer getup that earned them a hissing rebuke from the tour leader.

The group filtered forward one chamber at a time. Another was filled with informative displays about what life on a ship was like, examples of long-lived food and a series of complex knots with an explanation for what each was meant to accomplish. Next there was a scale model replica of an old skyship that actually swayed slightly, which ended making Raj dizzy enough he sat down on a barrel and got another stinging remark from their dutiful tour guide.

After more than an hour they finally came to the room that got Spike's eyes sparkling, the Jolly Roger exhibit.

The room was larger than some of the others put together, the walls lined by glass cases with more forming aisles on the floor. Spike zipped over to a big display case and pressed his face against it, breathing heavy before he called out “Raj, look! It's Jolly Roger's flag!”

Rajrishi came closer and saw a faded sheet of black cloth, painted with a long, serpentine dragon bedecked with horns and five heads. Raj's eyes widened. “He had a dragon as his symbol?”

“Yup. He flew this flag from the prow of his airship until it was shot off during a surprise attack from the Last Royal Legion when they discovered him smuggling Earth Ponies out of the old Unicorn Kingdom. Oh, and over here!” Spike scampered over to another display “The journal of Troterina Marantzo, Jolly Roger's former first mate! And over here!” This went on for several instances, Raj following along, bemused at the little drake's happiness.

He stopped at a mannequine painted in what was supposed to be Jolly Roger's coat colors and clothes, a replica of his flag laid across the back of the case. The model wore a blue coat with tails, double buttoned in the front and with silver piping along the seams and matching pants. Curiously, he noticed that it was rather close to his own uniform, the only major differences being the lack of a high collar and a slightly different shade of blue, as well as an abundance of accessories and jewelry. He looked down the aisle and saw other glass boxes with similar figures inside, albeit with very different races. He saw a griffin, a zebra, a hunched diamond dog, and even an upright dragon down at the far end.

He leaned down to read plaque and struggled through the unfamiliar script “Though there is much disagreement among historians, many believe that Captain Jolly Roger was equine. This belief runs contrary to the Griffin Empire's records and wanted posters that clearly show a griffin named Garuda captaining his famous ship. Several firsthoof accounts from rather ancient dragons also insist a young drake led the ship and bore the name Kamr. Modern wisdom accepts that the actual captaincy of the ship was passed around the rather diverse crew, either due to the unknown death of the previous captain, retirement, or as a deliberate attempt to confuse assassins, peacekeepers, and historians.”

“Ah, they Dread Pirate Roberts'd it. That makes sense.” He said to himself.

Spike pushed past him and started darting around the displays, snapping pictures of the displays from every angle possible. As he finished, he laughed out “Perfect, I'm going to have the coolest Nightmare Night costume ever.”

“Going as Captain Jolly Roger?”

“You bet. It was either that or a two headed dragon, and I went as a one headed dragon last year. If I did that, I'd have to add another head the year after that and then pretty soon I'll be covered in so many heads I won't be able to walk.”

“That sounds like a problem alright.” Raj agreed.

“Anyway, there's one more thing you should see. Come on.” Spike started jogging to the back of the room and slid to a halt next to the wall and directed with his claws. “No visit to a pirate museum could ever be complete without treasure!”

The entire wall was covered in displays overflowing with strange wealth. “Whoa.” Raj said dumbly.

“I know, right. This is all the stuff Jolly Roger traded, sold, or lost that could be recovered. It's one of the reasons he's remembered so much. Nopony knows where a lot of this stuff comes from. Like, these coins aren't recognized by any known mint.” he tapped his claw against a display that held perfectly flat discs embossed with strange patterns. “These rods are made of glass that hum when sunlight passes through them.” Raj looked at the unremarkable translucent staves. “And a bunch of other stuff besides, all of it super mysterious and stuff. Nopony has any clue where most of it came from.”

Raj marveled at the treasures, his mind racing as he perused the little placards that described what was known about the items. Figurines that showed unknown creatures, small cups that hovered of their own accord and spun lazily in the air and stranger things besides. He took it all in with a pleasant smile on his face, until about halfway down when he stopped dead in his tracks and just stared disbelievingly at what he was seeing.

Spike reached the end of the lane and turned back to see his friend standing stock still. “Raj?” He called out and got no response. He jogged over and pulled the hem of his jacket. “Rajrishi, what's up? What's wrong?”

Raj pointed stiffly. “That vase, do you see it?”

“What the pot?” Spike looked in the case at the unremarkable ceramic vessel that had stolen his friend's attention. “It's just some pot with some unknown writing on it.”

He looked down at the little dragon. “Spike, I recognize that writing.”

The dragon's eyes widened. “You do? What does it say?”

“I don't know what it says, but I recognize that script. It's called Sanskrit. It's very old.”

“Oh,” Spike shrugged. “Did you see it in a book in the library? You should tell Twilight.”

Raj shook his head. “No, Spike, look. That's an earth language. Sanskrit was made by people, by humans.”

Spike cocked his head. “But, that would mean-”

“Yeah, it does Spike. Somehow, your pirate hero went to earth and came back.”

PreviousChapters Next