Not a Good Day
The fillies fell into restless slumber, clinging together in the backseat with Banjo curled up on the bare metal frame beneath them, snoring softly.
Hours passed, images of evil creatures invading their sweet little dreams. They winced and chirruped in their slumber, writhing at the unpleasant images but remained fitfully asleep.
Outside, still on his log, Raj kept sentry. He stoked the fire high and stayed wary for any creature attracted by the sounds of conflict and the smell of blood. He had treated the nearby trees with Zecora's repellent once again but had little faith in it. It failed against the Chupacabras, it could fail against something else.
Morning gleamed its way through the trees, lances of sun stabbing through narrow gaps in the canopy. The world expanded, becoming more than the camp and its echoing violence.
Raj looked up at the invading light and suppressed a groan at the motion, a flare of pain lighting up his stiff neck. He felt dead, but then amended that to very, very sore. He decided that being dead had to be more pleasant than this, otherwise everyone wouldn't do it.
The first place Raj went was to retrieve his staff. That proved easy enough, the item having bounced onto a flat rock not far from where he threw it. The second place he went was the Arch, or what was left of it. The rightmost trunk had been ripped from the soil and torn badly. The telltale warmth that radiated from it was gone, now nothing more than cold, pale wood.
He crouched and ran his hands along the bark, feeling every groove and imperfection he'd grown familiar with over the previous months. There's no spark, no glow, nothing that said it was anything more than a dead tree.
The male Chupacabra, the one with the black spikes, lay dead near the broken stump. Splinters and curls of wood were embedded in its spikes and claws, and a death rictus has locked its face into a snarling grin.
He punched the corpse. Hard. He didn't plan on it, didn't decide to do it, he just did it. He did it again, and then again. Before he'd even thought about it he'd quickly bludgeoned a hole past his wrist in the thing's chest, caking his right hand in gummy, black blood.
Somewhere between five minutes and an hour later he stopped, breathing heavily and with weeping knuckles. The Chupacabra had been mangled into gristly hamburger with wedges of sharp bone protruding. He grabbed it roughly and dragged it deeper into the woods, crudely kicking it into a ravine to be fed upon by worms and rodents.
He trotted down to the river, looking dourly at the stickiness coating his hand. He stooped at the edge and dipped it, hissing at the stinging chill. He wiped his knuckles, kicking off a cloud of blackness that was swept away by the current. He withdrew it to see the darkness has spread to his other hand now.. He scrubbed at them again but found no amount of rubbing will lift the stains.
He grumbled darkly. He wanted this gunk off his hands, but his head hurt way too much to care right then and trudged back up the hill to the car. He rapped a knuckle on the frame and the the pile of ponies in the backseat began to stir. Sweetie Belle looked up at him blearily, blinking sleep out of her eyes. “Huh, wha-” a yawn broke her sentence. “Whuzza, what's happening?”
Raj managed a ghost of a smile “You're going home Sweetie.”
The little filly flicked her tail lightly and set her head back down, squeaking “Yaaaay...” and fell back asleep.
* * *
Many hours, several miles, an adventure crossing the river, a near miss with a timberwolf, and a chafing number of potty breaks later, Raj broke the treeline of the Everfree and looked down on the town of Ponyville.
Sweetie Belle murmured and stirred slightly against his chest. He pulled her close and cooed lightly, lulling her back to sleep. She and Applebloom lost their verve a few hours into the hike, and he opted to carry them the rest of the way, one nestled in his arm and the other poking out of the top of his backpack. Only Scootaloo managed the entire trip.
Raj looked down at the little orange pony and asked “Which way?” She pointed a hoof, indicating the center of town. Raj nodded and started the slow march forward.
After a few minutes he saw movement, something coming at him from the edge of town. Somethings, in fact, their image quickly justifying into the forms of multiple galloping ponies.
“Sweetie, wake up. Wake up.” He shook her lightly, rousing her into consciousness.
She looked around shakily and slurred “Huh?”
“Do you recognize those ponies?” He pointed at the approaching group, holding her up a bit so she could see.
Sweetie Belle looked and her eyes widened. “Rarity!” She twisted and squirmed, leaping from Raj's arms. She hit the ground running and took off. “Rarity, over here!” Scootaloo followed after her, wings fluttering happily. Banjo chased the pair, barking with excitement.
Raj crouched, gently swinging Applebloom around. He slid her out of the bag and settled her on the ground. She yawned and curled a bit, quietly muttering something about more sleep. He ran a hand along her mane and said “Wake up little one, you're home.”
Her eyes cracked just enough to sparkle lightly and she's about to say something when they both heard “Git away from her!” Raj had just enough time to look up before a monstrously large pony headbutted him in the chest, sending him flying.
Raj hit the ground on his butt and went into an ungainly roll, settling on his back in a daze. He groaned in pain and rubbed the point of impact on his chest.
“Applebloom!” an orange mare galloped up to the little filly“Oh mah goodness Applebloom, what did that thing do to you?” She crouched down, looking over the unkempt and bloodied pony.
Applebloom looked up with frightened eyes “Applejack! What's goin' on, why's Big Mac-”
“Hush now, we're takin' care a this.” She grabbed Applebloom by the nape of her neck and sprinted away.
As soon as the two of them were clear Big Mac leaped, landing bodily on Raj. The wind was blown out of his lungs, stunning him for a second. Mac pressed a foreleg to Raj's neck, directly over his windpipe and leaned into it, putting all of his weight on him.
Raj's eyes bugged out and he gasped, fighting desperately to suck in air. He pushed at the big pony's leg but didn't have the strength. He tried to clutch at his face but couldn't find purchase. Raj hooked a few punches into his ribs, but the big pony blithely ignored the faltering impacts. Black spots swam in Raj's vision and he felt fizzles in his head.
Then, inspiration struck. He twisted himself, forcing Mac's lower body off of his torso and swung up a leg, sinking his shin directly into Big Mac's crotch.
The effect was immediate. Mac's pupils shrank to pinpricks and a pained whinny escaped his mouth. He teetered and rolled off of Raj, letting him get a delicious gulp of air and broke into a fit of coughing.
They both stayed there on the ground for a bit, incapacitated for different reasons.
Mac recovered first, staggering to his hooves and groaning in agony. He tried to say something but it came out as a high pitched squeak. He shook his head and swallowed the pain and nausea, setting himself.
Raj rose to his feet, wavering and noisily clearing his throat. He reached down to his belt and slid his broken knife out, turning it around in his fingers. Raj didn't know why this pony was attacking him, why any of this was happening, but he wasn't really in the state of mind to care. He hoarsely rasped “C'mon you big brute, I'll fillet you.”
Mac exploded forward and reared up, flailing limbs at him. Raj backed up, unsteady but managing blocks. He aggressively swiped at an attacking hoof and chopped a hard wedge out of it. Mac neighed in pain but stepped forward, still swinging while Raj gave ground blindly.
The big pony crashed the ground and spun around, bucking backwards with one leg. Raj swayed and stuck to the inside of the strike, but didn't account for the other leg. Mac launched the other hoof at Raj's chest. Reflex took over and Raj twisted his left arm in to block.
The hoof struck his forearm at the median and the bones broke with an audible snap.
Raj started screaming. He fells back and clutched at the break point, daggers of pain tearing through him. His footing failed him and he dropped, hugging his arm.
“'N stay down yah varmint!” slurred Big Mac while he loomed over Raj..
An arm uncoiled from Raj's form and slashed, drawing a thin line across Mac's chest. He cantered back, whinnying in surprise.
Raj's broken arm was tight to his chest and he held his knife offhandedly in a reverse grip, crouched and ready. He was shaking from an overdose of terrified adrenaline and he looked at the giant red pony with mad desperation. His breath came in eager gasps and he slashed again, coming well short but menacing all the same.
Mac snorted and muttered something vulgar. He hoofed at the ground, getting ready to charge again.
“Stoooooop!” A zip of wings, a clatter of hooves and Scootaloo was standing between the two, staring down Mac with conviction. She stood on her hind legs and spread her forelegs wide, shielding him, albeit only up to the waist.
“What're you doin' girl? Get away from that thing!” shouted Mac.
“No!” She puffed out her chest.
“Ah'm not gonna tell you again...” Mac took a purposeful step forward and glared.
Scootaloo didn't waver. “I have no idea why you two are fighting, but you need to stop. He helped us, he saved our lives!”
Mac's eyes widened and he stuttered “W-what?”
“Ask Applebloom and Sweetie, they'll say the same thing. He kept us safe all night and you're hurting him.”
Mac sputtered “But, Applebloom was- he... ah thought.”
Mac's half-formed thoughts were interrupted by a metallic clatter as Raj's knife slipped out of his hand. He swayed drunkenly for a second and dropped, landing heavily on his knees. He palmedthe side of his head as a sudden flare of pain lit behind his eyes and he groaned loudly.
“Oh my gosh! Mister, are you okay?” Scootaloo shook his shoulder, trying to catch his eye.
Raj couldn't hear her over the ringing in his ears. His eyes fluttered wildly for a few seconds and he tried to say something but it came out as a gravelly rumble. He squeezed the break in his arm to try and bring his mind back into focus but he didn't even feel it. He just slumped down on his side, eyes glazed over and passed out.
* * *
He was somewhere dark when he woke up. Dark and cold.
Something soft was underneath him, yielding slightly. A mat of some sort, maybe a thin mattress set on the floor from the feel of it. A blanket was laid over him but it wasn't long enough by half, leaving his bare feet open to the cold air and his heels resting on chilly tile.
He tried to sit up and was immediately struck with a sudden burst of dizziness. He pressed a palm to his head with a groan of discomfort and started in surprise when he felt scratchy roughness on his arm.
Curious, he ran his hand over his arm and found layers of rough plaster covering his forearm up to the elbow. He muttered to himself “It's been cast already? How long have I been out?”
A slight yip announced itself in the darkness, startling Raj again. A cold nose pressed itself against his neck and licked tentatively.
“Banjo. God I hope that's you Banjo.” He got confirmation when he reached out and ran a hand along the dog's scruff. Banjo responded excitedly, nuzzling and lapping at him in excitement. The presence of his pet did much to ease Raj's nerves and he sighed softly into his dog's fur.
Sudden light burned into his retinas and he winced loudly “Son of a-”
“Oh, you're awake. Good.” said a pitched, female voice from the other side of the room. The door snapped shut and she clicked a switch, filling the room with much softer light. Raj took a second to adjust before looking at her. She's the first pony he'd seen wearing clothes, specifically a white polo shirt laid over a sunny yellow coat. Her two tone, light blue mane was done back in a bun and her tail was tied at the base to keep it out of the way. She looked at him with appraising, coffee colored eyes and said “I'm Doctor Flummox.”
“Charmed.” he muttered while still rubbing an ache out of his eyes. “Can I get some water?”
Flummox trotted over and pushed a pitcher and glasses that he hadn't noticed sitting on the floor. He reached for the handle but was stopped when Flummox puts a hoof on his cast, reminding him its there.
“Oh, right. Thanks.” Flummox smiled wryly and poured it for him, passing it to his unharmed limb.
Raj sipped slowly despite how thirsty he was, taking his time to avoid a cramp. He looked around the newly illuminated room. A sink sat against the corner on a thigh high counter-top as well as jars of medical paraphernalia. Tongue depressors, cotton balls, sterile bins, and a large jar of bone shaped, crusty treats. Plastered on the walls were anatomical posters showing an interior view of dogs, cats, cows, pigs, and a surprising number of snakes.
All that, combined with the cheerful animal faces painted on the doctor's flank led him to dourly say “You're a veterinarian, aren't you?”
“Yep.”
“And this is your clinic?”
“That it is.”
“So I'm in an Animal Hospital?”
“Correct, Ponyville's own Sacred Barf.”
Raj settled his head back onto his pillow and sighed. “Fantastic, just... fantastic.”
Flummox stood silently for a moment, looking at him quizzically. “Are you alright mister...”
“Rajrishi, just... call me Rajrishi.”
“Alright Mr. Rajrishi, would you like to know why you're here?”
He lifted his good arm and rotated his hand, snidely saying “Please, illuminate me.”
Flummox ignored the sarcasm and snapped a set of monochrome transparencies onto light panels on the wall. “Well, your arm was definitely broken. That's for sure.”
“Awesome.”
“Indeed.” she pointed at the screen. “The x-ray came out fuzzy for some reason, but I can make enough out. It looks like a clean break, no fragmenting and it didn't jam into itself. I cast it already, so we shouldn't have to worry about that.”
“Is that all?”
Dr. Flummox shook her head “Oh no, no, no. There's much more that's wrong.” She flipped a page on the chart in her hooves. “You've got serious lacerations on the back and leg, pressure cuts on your forepaws, at least a mild concussion, damaged muscles in the shoulder, fractures on at least two ribs, a bruised windpipe, and that's just the injuries. If we look at your condition, it gets much worse.”
Raj groaned, “Lay it on me doc.”
“Well, you're exhausted for one, but you can probably tell that. Dehydrated too, by the look of his mouth. He's badly malnourished and is suffering from such an iron deficiency he's started to get jaundiced, which was compounded by the blood loss. There are also signs of fever, but I don't know what from.” She scanned her clipboard for a minute before adding casually “I think that's all for him.”
Raj cocked an eyebrow “Him?”
“Hmm?”
“You said he, you just started addressing me in the second person. Why?”
Flummox nodded and then started “Oh! Sorry about that, I'm, uh, I'm not used to addressing my patients directly”
Raj rolled his eyes “It's fine. You got any other bad news for me?”
“No, that's it for now, but I'll keep you posted.” said the doctor with a professional smile. “Do you have any more questions?”
“Yeah, why are my hands black?” He held up his unharmed hand, showing the shadowy pigment staining it.
The doctor leaned in, humming lightly while she observes. “Hmm, aren't they always like that?”
“No, if they were why would I have asked?”
Flummox ignored the insult and continued examining “Did you get any Chupacabra blood on you?”
“Yeah, all over my hand. Spread to the other one when I tried to wash it off.”
“Well, there you go. Chupacabra blood stains the deep layers of the skin, turning it black.”
“For how long?” He asks.
“Forever.” She said plainly.
“Forever?”
“Forever.”
“That's...” He cut off a string of words and slumped on his mat “ that's just great.”
Flummox smiled “Yeah, it is kind of cool. Was there anything else?”
“Yeah, where are my clothes?” Over the course of the conversation Raj had gradually realized that he was quite naked, a revelation that had left him feeling quite uncomfortable.
“They're right...” She turned to a chair in the corner and then paused. “They were right here.”
“Well, what about my other things then? My staff, my knife, my comb?”
“Umm...” Doctor Flummox looked around furtively and timidly said “I, uh, I don't know.”
“This just gets better and better.” He sat up, fighting the wave of unease that came with it. “Look, I have to pee. Badly. And I bet he does too.” Raj pointed a finger at his prone dog. “Can you take care of him for me?”
“Sure thing. C'mon boy, who's a good boy!” She crouched down, summoning the black dog over to her. Banjo hopped happily at the attention and she led him out the door.
Raj gathered the meager bedding around his waist, preserving most of his modesty, and stood up. The vertigo wasn't as bad as he expected and he managed to keep his feet.
He splashed water on his face and took a few welcome gulps before taking care of pressing biological needs. He let out a long breath and checked himself.
Its not bad, he thought. Not nearly as bad as what the Doctor laid it out to be. The scratches on his back were stitched up expertly and didn't hurt nearly as much as he expected and the majority of his headache had faded since he'd hydrated himself. His free hand was stiff but most of that felt like it was from the bandages over his knuckles. Deep breaths pained his ribs slightly, but nothing he couldn't manage.
Dr. Flummox was exaggerating, he decides.
A twinge of pain flares from his arm, reminding him of one thing she hadn't gotten wrong. He remembered the sickening crack of his bones breaking when the hoof hit his arm and the razor-sharp agony that threatened to make him black out.
Honestly, that's all that he fully remembered from the walk through the forest. He was pretty out of it by then and all he had a hold on was snippets and flashes.
Raj sighed and sat on the counter. Before he has time to think through options, the door swung open.
A pony he recognized came through, a covered basket held in her mouth. Yellow coat, pink hair, and demure eyes. Fluttershy.
He didn't even have time to offer a greeting before she'd zipped over and wrapped him a bone-crushing hug.
“Oof!” he grunted and rocked back from the force of it. “Hey Fluttershy.” He managed to gasp.
The scared little pony only mewled sadly and crushed her face into his stomach.
He put his good arm around her, settling his hand on her back. “I'm fine Fluttershy, don't worry.” His words only made the shivering pony adjust her grip.
“Really darling, he just woke up. Give him a chance to breathe at least.” The skittish Pegasus peeled herself off of him with a sheepish smile.
Raj looked up at the second pony to trot into the room. She was taller than Fluttershy, but much more lithe and sporting a horn instead of wings. She was coated in spotless ivory and her mane and tail were teased into elegantly bouncy curls. She flashed a winning smile at him and spoke in a pleasant English accent “Good morning.”
“It's still morning?” Raj asked.
She looked at the clock. “For a few more minutes, yes. How are you feeling my dear?”
“Better than I was, Miss...”
“Oh! Where are my manners? I am Miss Rarity.” She said with a polite bow.
“Rajrishi. Charmed.”
She smiled sweetly and said “I'm Sweetie Belle's big sister.”
“Ah.” As soon as she said it he sees the family resemblance. “What about her and the other girls? Are they okay?”
“Quite. A little shaken up but otherwise fine. From what I've been told we have you to thank for that.”
Raj shrugged “I just did what I had to ma'am.”
“Be that as it may,” replied Rarity, hiding her chagrin at being called 'ma'am' “you saved my family, so you have my thanks.”
“Your quite welcome ma'am. Would you mind passing that along to Sweetie Belle too?”
“Why not tell her yourself? If you're feeling up to it I know that she has been anxious to see you again.”
Raj rubbed the back of his head “Um, I'm not really dressed for... anything really.” he looked down at the small sheet covering himself up.
“Goodness, where was my head today? Fluttershy?”
Her friend trotted over to the dropped basket and carried it over to Raj, setting it on his lap. He unfolded the wraps over it and immediately smiled.
“You fixed my clothes,” he held up his pants, looking at the stitched lines along the fabric. He lifted them to his face and inhales the smell of lilacs “and cleaned them! When did you...”
“Shortly after you were brought here actually. The doctor had to cut your rags off to treat you and I saw an opportunity for some recompense. So I gathered them up and with a little help from Fluttershy” she nudged the blushing Pegasus “I managed to get them fixed and cleaned up for you.”
He inspected the garments, running his fingers down the neat lines of stitching. His boots were shined and polished. Even his patka wrap had been cleaned.
“It was not all salvageable I'm afraid. I had to make a new shirt using the old one as a pattern and the jacket was a lost cause. It's in there if you want it, but I couldn't imagine wearing the ghastly thing.”
He pulled the shirt over his torso. “Don't worry about it Rarity. This was awesome, I've been without clean clothes for so long. Thank you both so much.”
“It was the least we could do. After all, it simply wouldn't do for the savior of my family to be clad in rags that were so, umm...”
“Vile?” offered Raj as he yanked pants over his lower half.
“...I would have said 'pungent', but yes.” she said with a weak smile.
Raj let out a laugh that transitioned into a wince and he grabbed at his damaged ribs. “Ah, crap. That one hurt.”
“Oh my, should we get the doctor?” asked Rarity, a tinge of alarm in her voice.
Raj shook his head “No, it's fine, I'm fine.” He shuffled over to the bed and sat on it heavily.
“Are you sure Rajrishi?” Fluttershy appeared at his side, peering at the spot he was holding.
“No, no don't bother the doc. I just need a few days off my feet and I'll be out of everybody's hair.”
“Oh, she didn't tell you.” Rarity went pensive.
Raj cocked an eyebrow “Tell me what?”
“Oh well, there's something of a... complication” she trailed off for a second before finding her resolve. “Well, there's bad news, bad news, and good news. Which would you like first?”
Raj shrugged “My day's already ruined so let's go with the bad news.”
“Well, um, its about how long you'll need to be here.” piped in Fluttershy “Some of the cuts on your back were very deep and there are some... concerns.”
“Concerns?” said Raj worriedly.
Rarity explained “You needed internal stitches darling, more than thirty of them.”
“And she didn't know how you'd react to her antibiotics, so she couldn't chance giving you any. So she wants to check on you regularly to see if you develop an infection.”
“So you'll need to stay on hoof darling, at least for the next few weeks.”
Raj leaned back in his bed and let out a tired sigh. It was not that surprising once he thought about it. “Okay, that's not so bad. Okay.” He gulped “What's the other bad news?”
“You can't stay here.” said Rarity.
He looked up “What?”
“This was a veterinary clinic, not a true hospital. They don't have the facilities to admit long-term patients. Once you're up and able, you will have to leave.”
“Oh, great.” He flopped back onto the makeshift bed and rubbed his eyes tiredly. “What else?”
“There was a bit a good news, like I said. You have another visitor. Applejack, you can come in now.”
The name struck a chord of familiarity with Raj and he pondered it for a second before the door swung open and he saw an orange coated mare in a brown stetson, face dusted in freckles. She smiled kindly and drawled “Howdy partner.”
Raj recognized her and immediately tensed up. He recalled the panic in her voice when she picked Applebloom up and ran away with her, and then the near-deadly scuffle a moment later. His hands clenched on their own.
There was a minute of tense silence before Rarity coughed lightly and said “I think we should go. Fluttershy?” The yellow Pegasus nodded and the two quietly left the room. Raj never took his eyes off Applejack.
She smiled sheepishly and cleared her throat before saying. “Well, uh, first off, mah name's Applejack 'n its a heckuva pleasure to meet ya. How are ya feelin'?”
Raj grumbled “Mostly dead.”
“Heh heh, funny.” She tried to laugh but it faltered when she saw his severe look. She grimaced and fidgeted for a second. “Uh, Applebloom told me what ya'll did for her and her friends, fighting them monsters and bringing the girls back home in the morning. Ah, heck, the whole family just couldn't be more grateful.” she gave a weak smile that hung for just a second before drooping “...and we couldn't be more sorry either. It was wrong o' us to go assumin' things 'bout you just from stories 'n gossip.”
“Stories? What stories?” Raj looked confused for a second before realization dawned on his face. “It wasn't Minuette, was it?”
“Sure was. The next time ah see that mare ah'm gonna give her a serious talking to. She's been prancing all over town this whole last week, showing off that bruise under her eye 'n talkin' like she escaped from some dangerous critter what tried to take her head off.” Applejack sneered and spat to the side “Dang fool of a mare.”
Raj smiled, mollified by her outrage. “I picked up on that from when I met her.”
Applejack hesitated for a second “That was only part of it though. The rest was jess me 'n Macintosh being thickheaded.” She met his gaze “Ya gotta understand mister, we were up all night runnin' around lookin' for them girls. We searched high and low all over town. Heck, ah even convinced a couple of folks to poke around Whitetail Woods and Ghastly Gorge fer 'em. With the state we found their clubhouse in we were sure foul play was involved. All 'o us were scared witless!”
“Clubhouse?” he asked.
“The girls keep a little treehouse on the edge of the farm, fer playin' 'n such. When Applebloom 'n her friends didn't come home, ah checked there 'n the whole place was smashed up, like a fight or somethin' happened in there. Ah thought somepony kidnapped 'em.” She ground her hoof into the floor worriedly “Ah found out a few hours ago it was done by a pair 'o mean little fillies that like to cause trouble. Busted the place up cause they thought it was funny.”
“Some joke.”
“Yeah.”
The two of them were silent for a good long minute, both thinking about what had been said. “So that's it then? Some unfortunate gossip, a ruined clubhouse, and a night of missed sleep led you and your husband-”
“Brother.”
“What?”
“Big Macintosh. He's mah brother.”
“Led you and your brother to try and kill me?”
“He wasn't tryin' to k-kill nopony he was just, afraid. Ah was too. Yah let Scootaloo 'n Sweetie Belle go but yer pooch was chasin' em! Applebloom wasn't moving when yah put her down 'n when ah got closer ah smelled blood 'n then... ah just...” She trailed off, her words leaking conviction. “Ah... ah shouldn't be making excuses for mah behavior. Ah'm, ah'm so sorry.”
Applejack dropped to her front knees and bowed her head, a faint glistening of tears forming under her eyes and a slight shake to her stance.
Raj saw this and sighed, leaning back into his bed and letting the tension he'd been holding fade. “It's- It's fine Applejack.”
She tilted her head up “W-what?”
“You acted the best way you could on the information you had. You thought you were protecting your kin and had good reason to think they were in danger. Bad stuff happened, but none of it was your fault, yours or your brother's.”
“So, yer not mad?”
He shook his head “Oh no, I am definitely mad. Mad at Minuette for spreading lies about me, those fillies for smashing up the clubhouse and worrying you, and at the Crusaders for being very, very stupid, and you can be sure that the next time I see your lunk of a brother I'm going to punch him in the belly as hard as I can. But I am certainly not mad at you.”
Her face split into a grin before she sprang forward, landing at his side and wrapping him in a tight hug. “Oh thank you mister. Hooooweee, it's a relief to hear yah say that.”
“Arm, arm, watch the arm! Ow!” he cried, grimacing in agony.
Applejack backed off “Sorry 'bout that partner, ah was a bit excited.” She looked at the limb he'd begun cradling and was struck by an idea. “Hey, you should come stay with us!”
“Excuse me?”
“Ya obviously need someplace to you can rest at while yer on the mend, 'n we got plenty of space on the farm.”
Raj sputtered “What?”
“It'll be perfect. Ya can stay nearby so the doc can look in on ya, no more worries 'bout monsters eatin' ya, 'n it'll give ya a chance to experience some real Apple Family hospitality! Whatta ya say?” She smiled wide with an odd squeak.
Raj stared at her, thinking. Her offer was genuine, he can tell that much just by the look on her face. His gut check reaction was to turn her down and just leave, but he couldn't think of anything past that. If he went back to the Everfree he wouldn't get a chance to worry about infection, he'd just die. Hunting or gathering would be impossible with his arm in a sling, as would fighting anything. He wouldn't last and he knew it.
Lacking any other option, Raj sheepishly asked “So, um, where's this farm anyway?”
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Nice.
This isn't the comment you're going to want to hear 30,000 words in, but you've got a terrible habit of slipping from past to present tense throughout the story. You can write a perfectly fine story in either past or present tense, but switching from one to the other without any reason is very jarring to read.
That's coming across harsher than I meant it to, since there's not much wrong with your writing other than that one thing, but it's a big, noticeable flaw that draws the reader out of the story, and being aware of a tendency for it might help you avoid doing it in future.
3706865
Yeah, I wrote the first 9 chapters in present tense and re-writing it in past tense is an ongoing process. It should get better not that I'm doing it differently. Thank you for the critique though.
VERY disappointed in yet another idiot human who 'forgives' right away. after that much, mac needs to spend some time in jail at the very least- attempted murder is a serious crime.
This is a very good fic.
Why do the humans basically always forgive them right away?!
3707262
I was wondering, is he a Sikh?
5436374 because this was circumstance did you not read and he only mad at minute and a few others others
Uh... no, just no. If somebody comes at me and tries to crush my fucking windpipe F.N.A.R. I'm going to gut somebody. You make a mistake where nobody gets hurt, I'll forgive you in a heartbeat. You make a mistake where you intentionally try to do me in, I'll kill you if you don't finish the damn job.
6591575
Truuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!
6591575
I'd settle for knifing Mac in the same foreleg as the one he broke.
(The arm will heal, as will a deep cut on a foreleg.)
As for the attempt to kill him:
He over reacted out of sheer panic and was under the impression Raj had killed his sister (the smell of blood and the stories are enough to fully convince him there), but he didn't hesitate to back down the instant he began to doubt what the evidence was pointing to, which shows he did exactly what any good natured person would do.
Actually killing him knowing he means no harm and was simply mislead (Minuette is the one to blame for the use of deadly force ~because of her lie/insanely-over-exaggerated stories~ on this one) would be just as bad if not worse than Minuette nearly getting other ponies to kill him.
Breaking (or knifing, seeing as how he's in no condition to bring bone-crushing force down on a creature Big Mac's size) the same foreleg is enough to get the "Think REAL hard next time before you act with force" and "don't mess with me" messages across, and I'd NEVER stop scaring/pestering Minuette for nearly getting me killed.
(I wouldn't flat out attack her, but being very... aggressive... with her, and regularly dropping the "I eat meat, don't piss me off" vibe to her for the rest of her life would be enough to ensure she'd know what acting like a gossipy bitch got her.)
Plus, I'd NEVER pass up an opportunity to let the town know she was a lying gossip who nearly got someone killed for saving the lives of three little children.
5436374 Because none of the humans in HIE are capable of getting away with murder.
7563066
So Very Fucking True
Missing space.
8375775
Its still there! xD
Why...
8858908
magical blood, always a consequence
I am the first person. You are the second person. He is the third person.
6641994
I'll just gonna let him kill me out of spite, or at least until I fell into a coma. Let that muscle-brained idiot weep and feel all the guilt in world while I sleep in either the casket or hospital.
6641994
Absolutely agreed.