Draconequus: Subspecies: Homo Sapien Sapiens

by Kaffeina

Celestia's Perils and the Human That Saves Her

Celestia was once again in the meeting of nobles, absolutely exhausted, and completely, utterly, bored. These awful discussions about raising taxes, marriage, and laws. She looked down at the ridiculously long list of the agenda. Curse the unicorn who created the Time-Expansion Spell she thought. The horrific spell allowed 2-hour long meetings to go on for 2 days without leaving the participants with consequences. Already she had been sitting there for some 23 hours.

Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock said the clock she was watching. She looked back to the list. Something had changed. At the very top of the list it had said Items on the Agenda and now read Nobles Go Derp. Celestia covered her laugh with a cough. A few second later, the noble speaking began to speak in utter gibberish.

"Yeti, dog packs Larry. And the chocolate milk," he said, apparently understanding what he was saying. The other nobles had no idea what he had said and one spoke up.

"Sorry, could you repeat that?" he asked.

"Cats, Finite?"

"I'm sorry, what?" the stunned noble asked.

The gibbering noble coughed, "Sorry I-" his voice went squeaky like that of Donald Duck's, "have no idea what happened."

Once again, Celestia was forced to disguise a laugh as she glanced upwards. A biped sat on top of the chandelier, and as she looked, he tipped a top hat to her. Then, out of quite literally nowhere in particular, he pulled a very realistic looking marionette and began prancing it around in front of the nobles in a very lewd way. Celestia giggled. Closer inspection revealed that the marionette wasn't at all fake. It was Blueblood.

The stallion was wearing a light pink 'dress', that he insists is a robe, curlers in his hair, and a strange object on his horn. One of the nobles stifled a snicker because, aside from the dress, Blueblood wore a diaper on his rear end. The object was covered with a multitude of childish pictures. The snicker, a rather loud one, woke Blueblood who, still a bit sleepy, grumbled something along the lines of, "But Auntie I don't wanna wear the dress, I'm a boy."

Celestia's laugh was loud enough to fully awaken the 'Prince' who instantly began freaking out. Celestia remembered what he was talking about. She had finally gotten him to wear it by insisting it was a robe, albeit a very pink one she had purchased from Victory Secret. That mare could make any piece of clothing.

"WHAT? WHERE AM I? IS THIS THE COURTROOM? WHY AM I-" the stallion looked at the other nobles, let out a rather strange rasp, and collapsed on the spot. He was instantly covered by dirt and a tombstone. Another stallion stood atop the 'grave'.

"And so ends the life of Prince Blueblood. A terrible stallion with a heart of ash. He will be happily missed. We hate you," the stallion spoke.

A pseudo crowd clapped loudly and Celestia giggled again. Giving up, the nobles ended the session. She looked up at the biped and saw it holding a sign.

You're welcome.

Author's Note:

This was just for kicks, to be honest.

Comments

[Bones_]

Wow lol.

[catfire13]

*squee*

[meh]

eh.

[Lord Shaxx]

This was just for kicks, to be honest.

I noticed you kicked my sides out, ya' jerk!

[ramseymac]

Gonna read more... Must read more...

[Faerydae]

This is perfect. Instafav!

[OmnipresentMicroorganism]

I really need to install a GPS tracker on my sides.

[EvilEnchantress]

Slow claps for you good sir, madam, or person.

[Dan]

Tuxedo Mask mysteriously appears to offer assistance, then vanishes.

Did he at least give 'tia a rose?

[Titan Commander Sebaste]

[Dustchu]

Nothing like a confusing first chapter to get the story started,
nice.