When Raj woke up there was a pony in his car.
Well, not exactly in his car. Her head was poking through the flap he used to replace one of his windows, but the distinction was not something Raj was prepared to care about.
His eyes snapped open at the sound of a sudden inhalation and he saw a powder blue face dominated by wide, steel colored eyes. He saw her, screamed wordlessly, and swung a leg, making contact with something. He heard a panicked shriek and a thump followed by alarmed barks from his startled dog and thudding hooves.
He bolted upright too fast and struck his head on the bare metal roof of his car. He spewed a curse and dropped.
Banjo did his job and barked madly for the next several minutes until his canine brain told him to settle. His duty done, he snorted and ambled back to his cushion, walked in a few circles, and laid back down.
The whole time Raj was on the ground, palms clutching his head and his face in an agonized grimace. He murmured at Banjo but lost the words of it to the ringing in his ears. Eventually he sat up and moved his hands, hissing at the pain. He unraveled his patka and removed the comb, letting his hair spill down his back. He pressed a palm to the growing lump and it came away covered in splotchy crimson.
He sourly said “And today was going to be such a good day too.”
He quickly made his way to the river and soaked himself in the feeder pool. The water was cooler that day and it felt sensational on his scalp. The soak helped with the swelling though not the pain, but he could manage that on his own. He bathed his body and combed his hair, making sure to go over everything quite thoroughly since he knew he wouldn't be able to do so again for a long time.
Back at his camp he treated himself using the flip down mirror and a bottle of superglue. The wound shut with a bit of effort and few salty curses, but he wouldn't be able to tie up his hair for a while. He resigned himself to the next few days of feeling like an animal and tucked the lengthy mess of his hair down his back.
With the immediate concern taken care of, he could no longer avoid thinking about the fact that he just kicked a random stranger in the face.
It happened so fast. One moment his mind was sleeping and the next he felt like he was under attack. He tried to console himself with the fact that it wasn't as bad as it could have been. If a weapon was on hand he could have instinctively struck her with that, but that just made him feel even more nervous that relieved.
He sat on the bumper of his car and drank some water. Yesterday's rain has abated into a dreary drizzle that was more annoying than inconvenient. It left the ground soft though, and he could see the path that the pony made as it approached and looked around his camp. He could even see where she hit the ground, scrabbled to her hooves, and then sprinted off.
It was at that moment he realized that the pony could be hurt somewhere.
“Aww crap.” He cursed himself and started moving with purpose, grabbing his staff and a few other supplies. He tied Banjo's leash and started jogging through the woods, following the fleeing pony's obvious trail.
Her steps moved north in a meandering path. As he moved he slashed trees with his knife, giving him a line of markers to follow back. He moved at an unwise speed, trying to catch up to the panicked pony.
After an hour of travel, he found himself on the edge of the Everfree, and then sprinting beyond it. It was the first time he'd ever been beyond that border.
He could no longer convince himself that this was all about finding out if the pony had been hurt. If it had the verve to move this far, this quickly, then any injury he inflicted couldn't be significant. He knew that he's already unwelcome here by his very nature and he that he shouldn't press the issue of his being in this place on anyone else.
He refused, however, to let legitimate first contact between their species start and end with a roundhouse.
* * *
There isn't a great deal that Zecora told him about this world. Less still that he fully grasped. He understood there were ground ponies, ponies with magic horns and ponies with wings. He knew this place was called Equestria, that ponies inhabit and rule it, and that there was a town of these creatures not far from the Everfree.
Knowing that something was there was very different from seeing a cozy little cottage perched over a brook.
“How did ponies build that?” He wondered out loud. The walls were made of some white material, adobe or stuccoed brick. The roof was domed and bright green, obviously sod, with many arched windows. Raj approached closer and saw dozens of hanging animal houses, each crafted beautifully. A yard was framed by a bracketed fence and a large, wire chicken-coop held a dozen of the idly clucking birds. He tried to imagine a pony making even one of these things by mouth and hoof. Every picture he conjured up was simply too ridiculous to be real.
There was a bit of movement in a window and his eyes snapped on it. He spotted something blue before it ducked out of sight. Perking up his ears he could make out some voices from the inside, likely two ponies speaking. He stepped closer and focused, pricking up his ears and listening. The noises resolved into muffled speech.
“-ome for me oh no, oh no! What do we do?” It was a female voice, youthful and high and heavy with worry.
A mumble replied to her. He couldn't get the words but could clearly tell how soft her tone is. The first one said back “Well then, you go out there!”
There's a moment of quiet, save the merry chirping of dozens of birds. Raj lowered himself to the ground and sat with his legs crossed and his staff laid across his lap, trying to seem nonthreatening.
The split-door creaked open slowly and a yellow muzzle peeked out followed by a shock of brilliantly pink mane. She saw him and nosed the door open fully.
Her mane and tail were longer than any of the four ponies he's seen, long enough for both to pool on the ground and make her look even more diminutive by comparison. No pony was particularly large to him, but this one seemed tiny by even their standards, her eye level more or less even with his while he was sitting. She gave him a vulnerable smile and slowly started to trot over. He shifted uncomfortably in his stance, nervous.
She got within a few feet and stopped, flaring a pair of sunny yellow wings from her sides. Raj almost jumped, having not noticed the appendages on her approach. Seeing them now, he had no idea how he missed it. With her wings up, he could see the trio of pink butterflies marked on her flank.
The yellow pony was close enough to reach out and touch. Raj felt anxious, frightened even. His palms sweat, his guts churn.
She smiled wider, bringing it up into her eyes and said “Hi.”
Raj blinked. He didn't know what to expect, but he didn't expect that, just a simple greeting. He wasn't disappointed, it was just... anticlimactic.
She stepped forward again. “Don't be afraid, I won't hurt you.” Her wings fluttered a bit. “I'm Fluttershy.”
He thought about the word for a second, thinking it was some form of adjective and tried to extract its meaning before he realized it was this pony's name. Fluttershy.
She moved next to him, placing a hoof on his arm. He flinched but she kept her warm, paradoxically-soft hoof where it is. “What's your name?”
He voice almost cracked when he said “Um, Rajrishi.”
“Oh!” She started in surprise “You speak Celestial Tongue! Wonderful!” She smiled, showing pure white teeth. “Well Rajrishi, are you hungry? Do you want something to eat?” He shook his head, not sure if he trusted his voice. “That's okay.” She leaned in and nuzzled his shoulder lightly.
He felt like he should say something, but couldn't figure it out. Instead she perked up and sniffed audibly. That turned into a gasp and she said “Oh my, you're hurt!”
“What? No I'm not.” He brushed the side of his head with his fingers and pulled them away bloody. He grumbled “This again?”
Fluttershy pulled back, hooves clutched to her chest. “Oh my, oh no, oh goodness! You need to get inside!” She grabbed his arm and flapped her wings, trying to lift him from his seat.
He obliged, but only because he planned on standing anyway. “I'm fine Miss, let me go, I said I'm-” he ripped his arm from from her grasp “-fine!”
She flitted over, hovering just above his head. “Oh, but you're not fine. You're bleeding! You might need a compress, or stitches, or skin grafts!”
“I just bumped my head earlier. Nothing major.” He waved her off. “I didn't come here for medical treatment, I came here so I could make sure that pony-” He gestured at the blue mare staring wide-eyed out the window of the cottage “-was uninjured and so I could apologize for striking her.”
“Oh, Minuette was fine, just a little startled. You know, it wasn't nice of you to hit her like that.” Her eyes narrowed in an almost-glare.
He glanced aside. “She, uh, she startled me. I, um, reacted poorly”
She settled to the ground “Well, I'm sure she'd like to hear your apology. Come inside and you could tell her.” She started to canter away, swishing her pink tail. He hesitated a moment before his curiosity overwhelmed everything else and he walked after her, ducking through the door and into a vanilla-scented living room.
The entire first floor was mostly one large room, a side dominated by a large hearth. Raj guessed that it also doubled as a stove based on the assemblage of pots and pans hanging from nearby hooks. Thankfully, the roof was high enough for him to stand, likely owing to his host's wings. Fluttershy pulled a blanket off of a ludicrously small couch and patted a hoof on it.
Raj looked at the micro furniture skeptically and slowly eased himself down onto it. It groaned under his weight but held. He let out a breath and leaned his staff against a nearby wall, not at hand but within reach.
Fluttershy smiled again and lifted off with a single flap. “Now stay right there while I get Minuette.” She then dashed upstairs.
Shuffling and the clopping of hooves came from the loft. He could hear murmuring speech but couldn't make out any words other than 'no'. He sat patiently, lightly tapping his feet and tracing the tiny stairs and creature warrens that lined the walls. He saw a few small eyes peering at him from the walls, curiously studying this new visitor.
He felt a light thumping on his ankle and looked down to see a comically little rabbit rapidly smacking him with its hind leg. The creature saw that he'd noticed him and grunted, changing tactics to trying to pull at him. His tiny feet slid out from under him and he fell on his fluffy tail with a soft squeak.
Raj stared at it in confusion, totally at a loss. “Um, hello?”
The rabbit pointed with a claw further down the couch and hopped angrily, almost hissing.
Raj cocked an eyebrow. “Am I in your spot or something?” The rabbit started to bob it's head.
It was his home and Raj didn't like the idea of displacing one its residents, but he didn't like the idea of being bossed around by a rodent either, so he came up with a better idea. “How about a compromise little guy?” he reached down and grabbed the rabbit by the scruff of its neck and set him down in his lap. It squeaked in protest for a second but ceased when Raj starts to lightly scratch the base of the little creature's neck and his body relaxed into the sensation.
A few moments later the stairs creaked and Fluttershy strolled down them. She spied the two of them and her face split into a wide grin. She cooed “Aww, did Angel make a friend?”
“I guess so. Mostly just wanted him to stop kicking me.” His other hand joined in, scratching the hump of his spine and the little bunny positively melted.
“Oh, look at him.” She looked back upstairs “Minuette! See, even Angel likes him!”
A blue head and neck poked down the stairs, scanning the room. Her eyes settled on Raj and her pupils widen enough that Raj could see it from his seat. She whimpered slightly, shuddered, and took the first tentative step down the stairs.
“Don't worry, he's not going to hurt anypony. Why, I bet he's a big softy once you get to know him.” Raj resisted the urge to disagree with her and simply returned her grin.
Raj tried to lift his hand to give a gentle wave but found that when he moved either of his limbs Angel would grunt and latch on, pulling those heavenly digits back to his fur.
The sight of him scratching the normally ornery bunny was enough to coax Minuette the rest of the way downstairs. She set hoof on the green-wood floor and gave him a shaky look.
He got a good look at her. The coat was what he remembered, but her mane and tail were two toned, one a darker shade of blue and the other an off-white. A matching horn barely poked out of her mane, yet another feature his sleepy mind didn't catch.
There was a dark spot on her face just below her eye and when he caught it he felt a sudden surge of guilt.
She lifted a hoof and anxiously scratched at her other foreleg, looking away from him. “Um, hi.”
“Hello.”
The three of them sat in awkward silence for a minute, all except Fluttershy trying desperately to look everywhere but at each other.
She eyed Raj carefully. “Rajrishi, isn't there something you'd like to say to Minuette?”
“Yes, yes there is. I'm, uh, I'm sorry I kicked you in the face. Are you okay?”
She raised a hoof to the bruise and lightly touched it, wincing minutely. “Its nothing, I'm fine.”
“Are you sure? I don't remember very much, but I think I got you pretty good.”
Minuette's hoof hit the ground again and she cocked her head to the side. “What, what's that supposed to mean?'
Raj started to fumble for an answer but was cut off. “So!” Fluttershy clapped her hooves together, slicing the tension. “You two seem to be getting along great, I'll get a fire going.”
Fluttershy fled across the cottage and the tension returned. For a long while the only sound in the room was Angel's purring as he rejoiced in Raj's ministrations.
It was Raj that broke the tension first. “You're, uh, your name was 'Minuette'?”
“Yes, that's, that's correct. Yours was 'Rojreshi', right?”
“Rajrishi, Roj-ree-shee.” He corrected for the millionth time in his life.
“Oh, okay.” She turned away, grimacing slightly.
Another nugget of awkward silence. Fluttershy clattered with something on the hearth, drawing their collective attention for a scant second.
He lifted Angel and set him on the floor, much to the creature's dismay “I was, startled okay. I was asleep and you woke me up very suddenly. I... I lashed out on reflex. I'm sorry.”
Minuette lifted an eyebrow “It was 'Reflex'? You attack ponies on reflex?”
He choked. “No, no, not just ponies-” The words left his mouth before he could clamp on them.
“What!” Minuette replied, her tone laced with alarm.
Raj closed his eyes and pursed his lips, waiting a moment before he said anything. “That was not what I meant to say.”
“But that's what you said, that you hurt ponies and other things on reflex.” Her ears flattened and she lowered her head defensively “So what did you mean to say?”
He opened his mouth and let it hang, not sure how to respond. He thought for a few seconds before murmuring “I-I thought you were a threat.”
“Well, I wasn't. I was there gathering plant data for a research project and I was curious about your strange house.” She planted her rump on the floor and glared. “So what are you anyway? Some kind of violent monster from deep in the Everfree?”
“No, I'm not from the Everfree, I'm from... elsewhere. I'm a human.”
“Hoo-man.” She sounded it out and made a face like she didn't like the taste “Never heard of them.”
He shrugged “That's not surprising. As far as I can tell I'm the only one.”
“Oh.” the wave of relief that passed through her at hearing that was not lost on him. “So what are you doing here anyway?”
“Apologizing to you.”
“No, no.” She shook her head “I mean what are you doing here, in Equestria?”
That one he knew the answer to right away “Trying to find my way back home.”
“Well I hope you find it very quickly.” Raj thought he caught something in her tone and wondered if she just gave him an implied insult, but decided to not rise to the possible bait. Instead he just nodded and smiled, muttering halfhearted thanks and brushing rabbit fur off his pants.
Fluttershy flapped back over, a case held in her mouth and a tray held on her hooves. She laid the tray on her coffee table and said “Ah fout evurpahny wood loike tea?”
Raj tilted his head “What?”
Fluttershy spat out the case. “I said: I thought everypony would like some tea.” She looked down at the set of ceramic cups and a pot.
“No thank you Fluttershy, I should be getting home actually.” Minuette stood up and flicked her tail.
Fluttershy frowned “Oh, so soon?”
“Yeah I'm afraid. I have to meet Twinkle at home.” She turned and started walking, opening the front door with her mouth. “Thanks for the help today, and for looking at my face.”
“It was no problem at all.”
Minuette smiled and darted her eyes at Raj still on the couch. She lifted a hoof and gestured for Fluttershy to come closer. The Pegasus drifted towards her and Minuette whispered quietly, but loud enough that Raj could barely hear “You could smell that, right?”
Fluttershy replied in equally hushed tones. “I know, its fine though. He has a wound that's still bleeding.”
“Yeah, but it was on its breath too. Is it bleeding from the mouth too?”
Fluttershy gasped “I didn't think to check!”
Minuette facehoofed, a display that Raj could barely suppress laughing at. “No, that's not what I meant. Just, just be careful, okay Fluttershy? You don't know what this thing is.”
“Thank you, but I'm not worried. Taking care of animals is my special talent after all.” For some reason she tilted her flank, showing off the butterflies stamped there.
Minuette said nothing more and trotted away. Fluttershy shut the door and came back over to the table while Raj tried to look inconspicuous. She settled onto a little stool and whipped her bangs away from her face.
Raj moved to stand. “Actually, I should go as well.”
“Oh, but I just made a whole pot of tea!” She grabbed a teacup and held it out “Do you not like Marel Grey?”
He caught the scent drifting off the drink and made no effort the suppress his look of excitement. He wanted to make a comment on the awful pun she just made or question why the teacup had a handle on it if ponies have no fingers to grasp it, but the prospect of something to drink that's flavored with something other than dirt was too enticing. He took the cup and sipped it greedily, reveling in the bitter and rich taste.
He leaned back into the couch and savored it “This is wonderful Fluttershy, thank you.” After a few seconds he went to refill it, but a hoof set on his hand.
“Ah ah ah” Fluttershy chastised “No more tea yet. First, let me take a look at that wound.” She held up the case from before, a large red X marked on the front. The fact that ponies and humans use the same symbol for medical care was not missed by Raj and he made a mental note to be flabbergasted by that later.
“That's not really necessary Miss, it's not that serious.” He pressed at the bump and found that the spot was still hot and wet and his entire palm came away crimson. He stared at that with something like contempt for a second and said “M-maybe I need a second opinion.”
She just gave him a comforting look and laid a towel on the armrest of the couch, gesturing for him to lie down.
He did so, crushing the balloon of strands his hair had puffed up into under his back. It pulled a bit, but he felt surprisingly sanguine with that. He tensed a bit when he felt warm hooves exploring his scalp, but settled down again when he heard soft humming come from the yellow mare.
This went on for a minute before Fluttershy clicked her tongue. “This wound is dirty, and big! What happened?”
He lazily said “Hit my car with my head.”
“Well, I don't know what that is, but you shouldn't hit it anymore. You need stitches or this won't close properly.” She got up and started rummaging in her kit.
Raj yawned, tired all of a sudden. A thought came to him “Wait, are you a doctor?”
“No.” She said around a mouthful of gauze.
He tilted up to face her “So... do you know what you're doing?”
“Well, I have done this before. After all, I'm the Chief Animal Caretaker in Ponyville.” She settled again over his crown, smoothing out his hair with a hoof.
“Pony-what?” He dreamily asked.
“Ponyville. That's the town here silly. Now hold still. This might hurt.”
If he heard her, he gave no sign. Instead he just lazily murmured “Ponyville...” again and drifted off.