• Published 3rd May 2013
  • 13,177 Views, 946 Comments

The Dusk Guard Saga: Rise - Viking ZX



Steel Song is a lot of things. Earth pony. Uncle. Professional bodyguard. Retired. So when he receives a mysterious package from Princess Luna, he's understandably apprehensive. Things are never as they seem in Equestria...

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Epilogue

Epilogue

Luna let out another yawn as she looked down at her painting, trying unsuccessfully to stifle a second yawn with her hoof. She gave her head a most unprincesslike shake, trying to jar the cobwebs of sleep from her mind. As an immortal, sleep was something she could go with far less than most, but after repeated days of shortened sleep schedules thanks to all the excitement in the palace combined of course with her nightly duties of guiding the moon through the sky, she was feeling slightly less energetic than normal.

She smiled as she lifted her brush, tapping it lightly against the canvas and leaving a small swath of dark green paint, a perfect shadow on her subject. She sat back, examining the overall effect. It was, she decided after a moment, most excellent. But perhaps another touch there— she lifted a second brush, changing paints and making another small touch. Have care, she reminded herself as the brush swept over her creation. Too much can be worse than too little.

Luna set the brush down, feeling a sense of pride as she looked at her work. There was just one last detail to attend to now, a detail that required a personal touch. She bent over, picking up the smallest and finest of her brushes between her teeth, dabbing its thin bristles in paint. Magic worked, but sometimes … Sometimes the personal touch just helped. Or she liked to think it did. She leaned forward, carefully moving the brush in tiny, even strokes as she added the final details to her work, pausing every so often to switch paints.

There was a knock at the door. “Come in,” Luna said, not taking her eyes from her work. Muted hoofsteps reached her ears as somepony entered the room.

“Good evening, Tia,” Luna said, not needing to look to know who would enter her private study this early in her day without announcement.

“Good evening, Luna,” Celestia said, moving up alongside the desk. “I see you’ve found a new muse.” Luna pulled back for a moment and smiled, not wanting to run the risk of making a mistake.

“Yes,” she said, catching the paintbrush in her magic. “I felt it would be appropriate, given all that’s happened.” She stretched her jaw, contorting her face and getting a giggle from her sister.

“Perhaps we could hang it in one of the lower halls?” Celestia suggested, tilting her head to one side as she looked at Luna’s work.

Luna shook her head. “No, I think I may make a gift of it instead.” She plucked the paintbrush back up in her teeth, leaning forward and making another small motion, paint sliding from the tip with delicate care.

“Really?” Celestia asked. “To whom?”

“To the Dusk Guard themselves,” Luna said, her final stroke completed. There was only one thing left to do now. She picked up a very special brush, one used only for certain occasions, and dabbed it in a silvery paint she’d mixed herself a few minutes earlier.

“In honor of the original members of the Dusk Guard,” she wrote in sweeping, silver letters before jumping a line lower, “and their sacrifices to protect Equestria.” She jumped one line further down, signing her own name with a flourish.

“Princess Luna, Regent of the Night,” Celestia read, looking over at her with a smile. “Hundreds of years from now, dozens of museums will be competing to display this.”

“And they will never have it, Tia,” Luna said, her horn glowing an effervescent blue as she applied preservative spells to her work, sealing it from the ravages of time and age. “I only want this painting to be displayed in one place.” Her horn gave a final, vibrant flash in sync with the painting as the final spell sank in.

“And where would that be, sister?” Celestia asked.

Luna smiled. “In whatever barracks the Dusk Guard have, from now until the end,” she said, smiling at her sister. The painting floated off of her easel, a nearby hidden cabinet sliding open.

“And when will you give it to them?” Tia asked, a bemused expression on her face.

“When the time is right, Tia,” Luna said, taking one last look at the six smiling faces staring out from the painting. It was a simple painting, straightforward, the six members of the Dusk Guard arrayed in front of their barracks, the new symbol of their Guard office silhouetted behind them in the sky. Each of them was standing at attention, but at the same time each of them was smiling in their own way.

Smiles were sometimes the hardest to paint, Luna knew. They captured the soul of a pony’s joy, and yet with this painting she had done it. Captain Steel with his firm but unyielding look of satisfaction. Sky Bolt with her unrestrained enthusiasm. Nova with his sly, knowing grin. Dawn with her nobility. Sabra with his simple, content expression. Hunter with his massive grin as common on his face as his hat.

Luna slid the cabinet door shut. Someday, when the time was right, she’d present the painting to them. Something to remember their adventures by, something they could hang in the barracks to inspire new members of the Dusk Guard. Because as the years went on, there would be new members of the Dusk Guard. She was sure of it.

“Luna, if I might ask you a question?”

Luna turned to his sister, smiling even as she mentally checked the location of the moon. Sunset was going to be soon. “Of course, Tia,” she said. “Anything.”

“Did you know,” Celestia ventured, “exactly what was going to happen when you chose Steel, when you initially came to the idea of forming the Dusk Guard?”

“Did I know what, Tia?” Luna asked, batting her eyes innocently.

“What would happen, that Steel would find somepony to fill the void, that the ponies he chose would each find something about themselves in the journey? Because if you did,” Celestia said, “that would be an impressive amount of planning on your part.”

“Why, Tia,” Luna said, giving her sister a smirk similar to the one that Nova had given her the night before when he’d successfully beaten her in a hand of poker. “Whatever do you mean?” She bolted from her study, laughing at Celestia’s surprise.

“Wait! Luna!” Celestia called, racing after her. “Luna! Come back here!” Luna let out a laugh as her sister followed her through the halls of the palace.

* * *

Mint grunted in disgust as her grip slipped, water from her canteen slopping out to run down the side of her face. It felt cool in the harsh desert heat, but that wasn’t the point. It was unseemly, crude. She sniffed, throwing her nose in the air as she replaced the cap, levitating it back into her pack.

That, and she couldn’t afford to waste any of her precious water supply. It had only been twelve hours since she’d escaped from the Royal Guard's holding cell, and she was already halfway across Equestria, but word would spread. Her picture would be in every paper now. She was just lucky that they’d considered her sister the dangerous one, left the “kind, innocent, and abused” younger sister alone. She let out a harsh laugh. Ignorant foals, she thought resuming her southern trek. They’ll know soon enough.

If they didn’t already know. She was frankly amazed that they hadn’t. She’d been playing the poor younger sister act as hard as she could, trying to curry an innocent look, and it had worked! They’d know the truth soon enough. The sketchbook that the Dusk Guard had waved around had her name written in the back. A grim smile worked its way across her face as she climbed over another pile of rocks. And they’d thought her sister had come up with that stuff? Hah!

Sure, it had been Radiant’s idea, and she’d built them, but it had been Mint’s designs, Mint’s plans. Not past the metal golems however, she reflected, her face turning down. That was when things had started to go sour. All those crystals Radiant had enchanted had gone to her head, breaking something in her mind.

“It’s a shame she wasn’t as strong as I am, isn’t it?” she asked as she scrambled over another boulder, scraping her hooves against the stone.

Yes, it most certainly is, she thought back. Radiant was, unfortunately, more magically skilled than I am. But she couldn’t handle the enchanting the way I did.

Mint smiled even as her hoof came down hard on an errant rock, sending a lance of pain up her leg. “Yes, she wasn’t as strong. She may have done more crystals, but I was close, and I didn’t go mad.” She let out a laugh. “I was strong!”

And I’d know if I’d gone mad, she thought as she scrambled over the rocks. Radiant was all grandiose. Completely forgot the plan! It was a simple plan. Steal, take over company and introduce metal golems as personal enforcers and conductors.

“But no!” she said, stretching out the syllables like she was a schoolyard filly. Which she wasn’t! “Radiant had to go and start making bigger golems, bigger plans. I’ll show her!” Mint let out a cry of shock as the ground gave out underneath her, dropping her to her belly as she slid down the rough stone.

“Stupid Blade,” she barked out as she came to a stop. “If you hadn’t betrayed me...”

She’d learned now. Never hire a griffon. Honor, what a stupid concept. She’d tried to pay Blade a little visit after she’d broken out, a quick stop in her otherwise simple plan, but the griffon hadn’t been in her cell. It hadn’t even been locked. “Stupid griffon,” Mint said, her hooves sliding against the dry dirt. “Wouldn’t even help me after you’d broken out.”

Mint looked up at the sun, scowling. How many days had it been since she’d given herself up? Three? Four? It didn’t matter anymore. She pulled her canteen from her saddlebags, another mouthful of warm water running down her parched throat.

“Stupid sister,” she said, draining the last dregs of the canteen. “So crazy you didn’t even plan ahead. Did you hide teleport-enchanted crystals around Canterlot in case you needed an escape?” She sneered at a nearby rock formation, for a moment imagining it as her sister and giving it a kick. “No, you didn’t!” she said as the rocks scattered. “I did! Did you get Mimo mining to leave behind their supplies in case you needed them? No, I did!”

She spit a mouthful of water at the rocks, laughing as she imagined her sister sputtering. Sure, she’d saved money with her fake company by leaving the supplies when she’d burned it all, but that didn’t matter. She smiled as she thought back. Literally burned it. All the records, gone, in little black ashy bits. She couldn’t even remember what had happened to the ponies she’d ‘hired’ to run the place. She remembered telling the golems to take care of them, but if they’d done anything about it, she really didn’t care.

And now she was in the Badlands, down past the last vestiges of civilization save a few Ranger stations and those crazy buffalo. It was a safe place. Hot, yes. Unsanitary, also yes. She wiped a bit of dirt from her hoof. Still, from here, she had opportunity. She wasn’t back in a cell waiting for some psychiatrist who would pretend she had mental issues from crystal-work so that they could lock her away or turn her to stone or something else truly horrid.

No, she was free, free to work, to start again. The golems had worked yes, but they’d been basic. Servile. Unintelligent. What she wanted—no, what she needed, was something more. The crystal armor that those ponies had been wearing. It was a unique idea. Perhaps she could do something with that. And as far as docile, willing servants, well ...

Mint smiled as she peaked atop another pile of boulders, spotting a clear hole in the ground in front of her. Everypony always complained about the Diamond Dog tribes didn’t they? They were practically leaderless. Which meant they just needed a good enough leader, didn’t it? And they loved shiny things. They had plenty of crystals, surely some of them could be enchanted. And crystal armor? They’d adore it.

Mint smiled as she took a final draw from her canteen, emptying it and tossing it aside as she slid down the rock face towards the Diamond Dog burrow. They were perfect. They would adore—no—worship her for what she could do for them! And in turn, she could make them far greater than they ever were. Maybe someday she’d even get her sister back.

In the setting sunlight of the Equestrian Badlands, Mint smiled.

She was free.

END OF THE DUSK GUARD SAGA: BOOK ONE

Comments ( 182 )
NHO
NHO #1 · Sep 7th, 2013 · · ·

Ahahahahaha. Good thing it was while it lasted.
Now, reactions to return of the Sombra? Book Two in the writing, would post when it's done?

SPOILERS
Wait... I thought Mint was the younger sister who got dragged in-

Ignorant Foals

:rainbowderp::facehoof:
ahem I mean I didn't buy her act for one second! I knew she was evil the whole time...

3169817
Now you see why I didn't answer your question yesterday. :pinkiesmile:

3169375
So the real questions might be "who does the 'Rise' part of the title refer to?"

3168724
Book two is coming. It'll be a while though.

Oh that was a twist. Awesome I totally did not see that coming and here I thought I couldn't be surprised anymore. Yay looking forward to some epically awesome side stories and eventually book 2 :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::moustache::moustache::pinkiecrazy:

PPS

“In honor of the original members of the Dusk Guard,” she wrote in sweeping, silver letters before jumping a line lower, “and their sacrifices to protect Equestria.”

Well, that's ominous. What's she planning to have them sacrifice? Is there a suicide mission in their future?

3188165
Would I kill a character? Me? :scootangel:

3223512
Hopefully because you found it immensely satisfying. :pinkiesmile:

3228364 Yeah, could be.

BTW AWESOME story!

3231759
Thanks! Glad you're enjoying it! :pinkiehappy: Tell your friends!

3231849 Me no has friends dat is broni :fluttercry: :applecry: :pinkiesad2::raritydespair::raritycry::twilightangry2::unsuresweetie::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

3247222

Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it! You can follow me if you'd like to get updates via my blog, because there is more coming! "Rise" is only the start! :pinkiehappy:

3268897

I hope you continue to find it as enjoyable! :twilightsmile: Let me know what you think!

BRAVO!
Let me start by saying how much I enjoyed this story.Though it has a tragically low number log likes, I rate it among my top 10 favorite mlp figurine fanfics (and this includes Past Sins and FOE)
I would recommend this fic highly, and look forward with anticipation to the next installation.
I found your characters engaging and enjoyable, and I appreciated how careful you were to avoid breaching any form of canon. Some of your take on the griffins has made its way into my personal headcanon.
All in all, a great read, and I hope you continue with this cast. I offer you my support in the future.

But, in all seriousness, remember your apostrophes. (Steel ' s, the Golem ' s shadow, etc.)

My name was pretty high on your readers list. I'm kinda honored.

3385523

I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thank you for the glowing praise! :twilightblush: And for the appreciation. Comments like yours make my day!

And yes, it does have a low number of views, but as time moves on that's slowly (but surely changing). I've seen it referred to in a few places online, and it's been mentioned on TV Tropes, so it's picking up speed. But I'm honored that you rate it so highly, and I hope you continue to find the next few books just as wonderfully entertaining, if not moreso!

Really enjoyed the story, and all of its twists and turns. I especially liked seeing the setting expanded to include griffons and the political/economic intrigue.

3447653
Glad you liked it!

3495778
You are, as far as I know, the first to catch that reference! Bravo, and I must compliment you on your good taste in games! :pinkiehappy:

3539098

Whoo-hoo! Thank you! :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

3539098>>3539669

Congrats on this, mate! Your story certainly deserves it. You should do some kind of one shot or something to try and get it out there again. :eeyup:

(Maybe something sillier and cuter than Carry On')

3600379
Thanks, I actually have though. "Carry On," the first of the side stories, was a pretty good little hit. And there's a few more coming (I've got to divide my time on the side stories with my next book, so I can't work on them all the time) over the next few months until the sequel hits.

EDIT: Ah, an edit. Well, some of the other side stories are definitely more fluffy and fun. The Steel Song side story is definitely that!

3600409

You need to appeal to the readers sometimes if you wanna get them to come in droves after all... You have a great main story. I would just explore your characters and make up funny stuff for them to encounter on the side. :x

3600458
Patience. Patience. All things in time...

3624582
I look forward to seeing what you think at the end!

3666382
Yes. Yes it is. :twilightsmile: Such a good game!

Glad to see you're enjoying the story!

I loved this story from beginning to end! It was definitely one that I was glad I found. I also loved the ending and after I finished I thought about how the dusk guard barracks would have the painting of the original members that formed the guard and how nice of an ending for book one that was. 20/10!!! Can't wait for book 2 but until then I have to find something that will be as good as this to keep me busy!

3735530
I'm glad you enjoyed it so much! :twilightsheepish: Thanks for the compliments!

Also, if you're itching for more Dusk Guard, then be sure to check out the side stories! Sky Bolt's is already out, and Sabra's started this morning!

Don't forget to upvote!

3735549 Already got my eye on sky bolts story and can't wait to start it!

3775742

Oh, and there goes my attempt at pacing.

:pinkiehappy: I hope you've got some free time cleared for the next few days then...

3783849
Got it! Thanks!

Glad you're enjoying it (you're on one of my personal favorite chapters)! :pinkiehappy:

3783931
No, errors need to be fixed. One day I'm going to go through this with a fine toothed comb, but until then, I appreciate people calling my attention to them so I can fix them quickly.

As you enjoy it so much, don't forget to spread the word. It's the only way my readership grows! Plus, the only way you'll have more people to discuss it with! And you're right at the chapters where the comments start really getting long!

3793732
It's not over yet.

Epi-looooogue!

Glad you enjoyed it! Tell your friends!

Just finished part one. I'm liking this so far, impressive world building, engaging OC's, solid writing. Can't give final impressions with so much of the story left to be read, but this one is a keeper.

It took me a while to read this. Totally worth the time.
I plause you.
Bravo!

3815255
Glad you're enjoying it! I look forward to hearing what you think of the later parts, especially when the surprises start to hit!


3827930
Yahoo! Another satisfied reader! Don't forget to check out the side stories! The Dusk Guard's adventures aren't over yet!


3848071
I'm glad for that one too! I really owe Arad for that cameo! It gave "Rise" quite the bump in readers!



3865551
Hahaha! It does actually look like one, now that I think about it. At least, it's a cone. As for what it is and what it does ... well, spoilers...

3883064 As a whole, the story was unbelievably epic. Well written action is hard to come by, coupled with the impressive level of world building.

3896233
Actually, it isn't. It was just a logical jump: you're building the ship of the skies, the newest and most amazing class of airship ever seen, and you've got to name it something grand, something that evokes majesty. Why not call it The Alicorn? They didn't want to pick one princess over the other, so they went with a default.

And since their next order is for two sister ships, future fics will note that they're call the Celestial Princess and the Lunar Princess. Which will prompt a whole new range of amusing ads, such as "Banish yourself here" and "Sunny all the time."

As far as Steel and Cappy go, that's slightly disappointing to hear. Hopefully his motives become a little clearer as things move on.

4016628 You didn't correct anything, you typed what he said, contingent >.> You wanna take out the G.

4075210
It's the "and/an," not "contingent" that was the fix. Contingent is a group of people united by some common feature, forming part of a larger group.

4077880
Luna talks about this later in the story, but the purpose of The Dusk Guard is more akin to a commando squad than a full division. There are other things coming as well, but I won't spoil them for now. :raritywink:

4077954
You'll pick up on it over the rest of the fic, but I can answer it here. The other Guard divisions are composed of hundreds of ponies each across Equestria. The upset is more that there will be a third division of them now, even if it is a small one, that stands apart from the Royal and Night divisions.

You'll see more of this in later chapters.

I noticed that a lot of the headway the Dusk Guard made in this case was from some seemingly innocent comments from some random citizen. Ones that are aparently non-descript enough to not warrent a discription. I'll remark upon the fact that A. That it was always a mare that did this. B. It was always when the investigation had hit a brick wall and stalled. C. Nova proved that magic isn't required to make a good disguise.

Arad's work brought me here. Worth a read since I hate not knowing backstory or previous work when there is such.

4079939
To be fair, the thing that really put the wall down between him and Cappy (and made Summer furious with him) wasn't that he took the job, but that he'd promised Cappy that he would let them know before he made any serious decisions, something she trusted him to do, and he didn't take seriously enough. Ever make a woman mad and suddenly all her friends are avatars of death? Same principle. Steel could have just saved the world and she'd still be mad.

4081418
Mostly just cost. Even if Twilight did have enough money (or time) to renew the enchantment every day or few days, it'd be somewhat impractical for just a mattress. And Derpy would insist on paying her back, which she knows would be costly.

4081748
Yes. Yes he is. And among a team that spends at least 8 hours a day training and practicing, that's saying something.

4081802
I shall say nothing. :pinkiehappy:

4082359
Well, it is the country that maintains control over the sun and the moon. which is a pretty effective deterrent. The only ones who'll try to attack you directly are going to need some serious reasoning (or lack of) in order to want to threaten the nation that makes the sun go 'round. Even if you do win, the mass of diplomatic allies Equestria has amassed are going to be furious. The whole sun/moon thing is also why they don't have a standing army (or part of it), because if they started amassing one, combined with their sun/moon control, they'd have ridiculous levels of power at their backs. Celestia and Luna don't want to abuse said power (or even put out an image to other nations of it), so they've established Equestria as a very balanced political power. Granted, a lot of other nations (like the Griffon Empire) have a very high level of respect for them, but this helps. Celestia or Luna show up at a diplomatic function, and their lack of an army speaks volumes. An implied "look, we could be tyrannical despots since we move the sun/moon, but we trust you enough that we don't have an army. We really just want what is best for everyone involved."

And good call on that pair. :raritywink:

4085423
I hope you found it worthy of your time. And I owe Arad for finally getting Rise some exposure. It's a bit of a hard sell.

4085469
I'm pretty sure you aren't the only one!

4085692
Are you kidding? I love thumbs! Glad you enjoyed the story! Now for the side stories and ... the sequel! :pinkiegasp:

4086429

I hope you found it worthy of your time. And I owe Arad for finally getting Rise some exposure. It's a bit of a hard sell.

I'm glad you mentioned this as it's something I have been meaning to talk about for a while. I've noticed stories with mainly OC characters (that aren't human/crossovers) don't get nearly as much attention even if they deserve it I think that the main reason for that is people look for fanfiction of what they know they like, and most people like the Mane 6 and aren't willing to risk their time (let's face it, it takes a LONG TIME to read Dusk Guard, which is good!) on potentially crappy OCs. It's a sad fact of fiction that a significant portion (but not all) of OCs are Mary Sue/Gary Stu material, or are terrible self inserts. I imagine if I had started with a little short story I've been toying with that has OCs rather than Stardust, I wouldn't have gotten nearly as much attention.

Again, there is -nothing wrong- with OC stories. It's just an unfortunate fact that they generally have to go an extra mile in storytelling to break even with canon character stories.

Okay, heavy stuff out of the way!

Fortitude Amicitia was my first successful collaborative work. I had attempted to do some collaboration with another author prior to Stardust but it sadly fell through due to completely justified creative differences from the author of the source material. Viking ZX has been a real champ in working with me for the collab, and I'm glad I could help Dusk Guard get the attention it deserves.

4087017
I should probably just added that topic to my "to-do" blog list, because in the fanfiction world, it's an important thing to know: OCs will always lose out to a series character, no matter how poor or well written, in a popular contest. It's not because they are or aren't better, but rather a psychological quirk of the fanbase (combined with some well-reasoned fears). But I hold no doubts that had I written "Rise" with the mane 6 filling in the roles of the Dusk Guard and having a similar adventure, it would be infinitely more popular than it already is, simply because of the character tags.

I have only read up to the capture the flag bit so far. The story has been enjoyable to this point, however it seems to skirt very close to Mary-Jane syndrome. Already I have to wonder what purpose either of the other guards even serve if a hodgepodge of retirees and random other ponies are already better then them by far after only a couple of weeks.

Other then that this is a well written story.

4088814 I've only read the first few chapters so far, but from what I can tell, the other guards are guards, while the Dusk Guard is the A-Team.

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